Fallen

by Natasha Grace

  He winced at the memory of how against he’d been about her working at the company. He hadn’t even tried to hide how wrong he thought her for the job, but Jason had persisted and for that Luke was grateful. He’d never have these past months with Sam if Jason hadn’t insisted on her working there.

  “I’m sorry, Sam. I should’ve given you a chance.” It was ironic how much he’d wanted her gone initially when he was willing to do just about anything for her to come back now.

  “I probably would’ve felt the same if I’d been in your shoes,” she said as they walked into the private elevator. “I had no experience with these kinds of things, and my accounting background barely helped. It’s a whole other world here.”

  But she’d learn quickly and had made him eat every single one of his words. The elevator doors closed, and he reached for her arm. “I’m really sorry for whatever pain I caused you.”

  “It’s all right. I guess we’re even now.”

  Laughing, he had the sudden urge to kiss her. He was about to pull her to him when he remembered the cameras in the elevator and let go. Tonight, he promised himself. Tonight, he’d kiss and touch her to his heart’s desire.

  * * *

  “Thank you for lunch,” Sam said as they rode the private elevator to the office an hour and a half later. She knew that she should’ve left when they’d reached the door of the building, but she was having too much fun and didn’t want to leave just yet.

  Luke smiled and the warmth of it spread through her. “Any time.”

  She was just wondering if tomorrow would be too soon when the elevator doors opened. Theresa bolted from her chair the moment she saw them. “Luke, George has been looking for you.”

  “Thanks,” he murmured to the receptionist as he walked unhurriedly towards the glass door leading to the trading floor and opened it for Sam.

  As soon as they walked onto the floor, she heard George’s voice. “I’ve been trying to reach your cell.”

  George jogged over with a bunch of papers in his hand. “I need you to sign these,” George said as he handed them to Luke.

  Seeing that Luke was busy, Sam smiled. “I’ll see you later.”

  Appreciation shone in his eyes. “Thanks.” He turned towards George and took the pen the manager was handing him.

  “Trade sheets?” Luke asked George as he began signing them on the wall.

  Knowing how busy Luke was, Sam was touched that he’d been okay with taking her out to lunch and couldn’t help but remember the way he’d offered to take her out to lunch after their first weekend together. In all the years that they’d worked together, he rarely went out to lunch—let alone for a woman. He didn’t like any distraction during working hours. And yet, he’d been willing to go with her. Though she tried to tell herself that it didn’t mean anything, she found herself grinning as she pulled out her phone to tell Charles to start the car.

  She was just about to hit the dial button when she noticed Jason’s room was half–lit. Knowing that she’d never really said goodbye, she put her phone in her bag and approached it. Janet wasn’t at her desk. From Luke, Sam knew that Jason’s assistant had been transferred to the client relations department a few weeks earlier and was doing a wonderful job.

  Sam flipped on the other light switch as she walked into the familiar room. Everything—from his little golf set up on the right to the pictures of him with various politicians was exactly in the same condition as he’d left it in. The only clue someone would’ve had that he wasn’t on some business trip were the white boxes on the floor and on his desk. She guessed that Janet had taken the files out of his desk and cabinet in case someone needed them.

  Sam frowned as she went over and sat on the leather couch at the back of the room. Nothing. She felt absolutely nothing. She’d thought she’d feel something more when she walked in. Maybe anger at the way Jason had thrown away their marriage or frustration over the years she’d wasted with him, but she didn’t even begrudge him that. Because if it wasn’t for him, she would’ve never met Luke and would’ve never had these amazing past few months.

  Luke.

  Her chest tightened at the realization that it was because of him that she was no longer angry at Jason. She was just so happy that she didn’t have it in her to be anything but happy. It was still no excuse for Jason cheating on her, but she could understand it a bit more if he’d felt even an ounce of what she felt when she was with Luke. She’d certainly never felt that way with Jason.

  Her heart leapt at the realization that she loved Luke. In a much bigger way than she’d ever loved Jason. She wasn’t even sure now if what she’d felt for Jason was love or not. Those emotions seemed like such a pale comparison to what she felt for Luke and she couldn’t help but think that what she’d had with Jason was puppy love and what she had for Luke was a full–fledged love.

  She’d tell Luke tonight, she quickly decided.

  Though he might not feel the same about her as she did him, she wanted him to know that she loved him. He deserved at least that after he’d helped her through so much. She would’ve probably spent these past few months angry and hurt, stuck in the same emotional rut if it hadn’t been for him. Her heart suddenly felt free and light as she stood and turned the lights off.

  Goodbye, Jason.

  * * *

  “I need you to sign these,” George said as he passed him a bunch of papers.

  Luke frowned. “Trade sheets?”

  “I’ll see you later,” Sam said.

  Luke sighed as he turned towards her. He’d been hoping to get some alone time with her, but he guessed he’d have to wait for tonight. “Thanks.” She was always so considerate about his work. He took the pen George was offering and began signing the authorization sheets.

  “Olson’s sliced their dividend in half after they missed their estimated earnings. They’re blaming the storm,” George said wryly.

  Luke inwardly shook his head as he handed the papers back to George. They knew it wasn’t the storm, because all the other department stores were having record years. They’d known Olson’s was struggling when they’d first bought it, but they’d seen potential in the retailer’s turnaround plan. But when the revamped stores turned out to be more of the same old, same old, they’d slowly began selling their shares. The dividend cut was the last straw.

  Luke pulled up the company on his phone as soon as George left. The stock price had dropped more than a quarter since the announcement. Shaking his head, he headed towards his office to look up their latest report.

  He was recalculating the free cash flow in his office twenty minutes later when George walked in.

  “We were able to get rid of everything at a twenty percent loss.” There was a pause before George added, “I couldn’t get ahold of you.”

  Luke winced at the realization that he’d kept his phone off since last night. “I’m sorry.” George had the authority to do smaller trades, but anything larger than ten million required Luke’s approval.

  His first instinct was to raise the maximum amounts his managers could do without his approval before guilt set in. The problem wasn’t with the limits his managers had to work with. The problem was with him. He’d been taking a lot of time off work to spend with Sam—often leaving early at night and coming in late as well. To top it all off, he was probably only doing a tenth of the work he’d used to do at home. So, no, raising the maximum so that he wouldn’t always have to be by a phone wasn’t the answer. A maximum of ten million for a single trade was big enough as it was. He simply shouldn’t have turned off his phone.

  He was lucky it was only this and not something big like another accounting scandal. His guilt intensified at the knowledge he hadn’t been doing the extra round of due diligence he’d always done before. Instead, he’d been relying more and more on the reports the analysts and managers made.

  And even though their team was one of the best in the business, they sometimes made mistakes. His review had always been that ext
ra safeguard. His stomach hollowed at the realization of how damaging this setback could’ve been if it had been bigger. After everything that they’d been through, it would’ve destroyed Harkin.

  George let out a huge sigh as he settled into the chair across from him, his shoulders defeated. “Are you planning on closing the company?”

  “What? No. What makes you say that?”

  George gestured towards him. “You’ve been out of it these past couple of weeks—coming to work late, leaving early…”

  The memory of how quickly he’d okayed the sale of their Seidler shares as soon as he’d seen Sam needled him. He’d just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.

  Had he seriously just risked the company’s future for a woman who didn’t even want to let people know that she was with him? He inwardly groaned as he thought about his plans to lessen his workload when they had kids so that he could spend more time with them and Sam.

  “I’m sorry, George. I won’t let something like this happen again.”

  He had a responsibility not only to himself, but to his employees and to his investors. His carelessness could cost a pensioner his timely retirement the same way the hedge fund who’d handled his father’s pension had ruined his. The thought alone set Luke’s priorities and focus straight. He couldn’t let them, any of them, down again.

  Chapter Twenty–Two

  Sam was brimming with excitement as she prepared the table. The realization that she loved Luke had come with the epiphany that she didn’t want to hold anything back anymore.

  In fact, she wanted everything with him. Love, family, marriage… All those dreams she’d thought had died had come back with a startling force, and she hoped that he wanted the same thing. Though she’d save talk of marriage and family for another time, she’d tell him that she loved him and that she didn’t want to keep their relationship a secret anymore.

  She now knew that the latter had been the coward’s way out. It was as if she’d always had one foot out the door—as if she’d thought that their relationship wouldn’t last. But ever since she’d decided to tell Luke about her feelings, a sense of calmness seemed to have settled over her and she’d stopped worrying about the fall out of their relationship, because she knew Luke would catch her and she, him.

  She straightened and looked at her work. The table looked perfect. For decorations, she’d added a fresh pot of roses as well as matching candles on both sides. She had the wine chilling, the salad and cake in the refrigerator, and the rest of the food was in the oven warming. She was just about to go change into the new black dress she’d bought when her cell phone chimed. She picked it up and felt her heart quicken when she saw Luke’s name on the screen.

  I’m sorry. I can’t make it tonight.

  Sam frowned. Something was wrong. She just knew it. Luke hadn’t cancelled on her for a while now. Even if he was late, he still came. And even when he had cancelled on her, he’d never done it this late. Unease spread through her. Was he preparing to leave her?

  She remembered his easiness and smiles when she’d left the office that afternoon and knew that that couldn’t be it. He seemed as happy as he’d ever been.

  But then why had he cancelled on her? Was there another woman? She immediately chastised herself for the thought. Luke was not Jason—cheating was not in his character. The two might be similar on the surface, but they were completely different on the inside. She saw that now.

  Jason had always had this listlessness about him that had not only propelled him to succeed, but had also made him seek out the approval of others while Luke had never particularly cared for what other people thought. All Luke had ever really cared about was Harkin.

  Remembering just how focused he was when it came to work, she sighed. She was worrying for nothing. In all the time that she’d known him, Luke lived and breathed Harkin. He probably just had something urgent he needed to take care of. Shaking her head at her own silliness, she responded to his text.

  That’s all right. See you tomorrow?

  There was a brief pause before her phone dinged.

  Yeah. I’ll go to your place.

  She frowned as she set her phone down and went to get her dinner from the oven. No matter how much she told herself she was making something out of nothing, she couldn’t get rid of that nagging feeling that something was terribly wrong.

  * * *

  Luke’s chest tightened as he hesitated outside of Sam’s apartment two days later. He didn’t want to break up with her. In fact, he couldn’t remember ever being as happy as he was when he was with her.

  But this was about so much more than him. He had the company and the employees to think about and they deserved more than a boss who had his head in the clouds.

  He’d thought about just seeing Sam on the weekends, but he knew that that would never work. Not only did he doubt his ability to stay away from her during the week, he also knew that his mind would never be far away from her just as it’s been these past two days. He hadn’t seen her and yet she’d been all he’d been able to think about. He’d never had trouble concentrating on work before Sam, but she now consumed his thoughts.

  And like his employees and investors, she deserved much more than a fraction of his time. These past few months have proven that he couldn’t give enough of himself to both Harkin and Sam, so it was best to let her go. The thought of a life without her was almost too much to bear, but he couldn’t be selfish, gladly taking whatever he could get. He wouldn’t be any better than Jason and Luke would not take advantage of Sam.

  What made this all worse was the knowledge that he was going to hurt her. She might not be in love with him yet, but it was getting there. She loved being with him almost as much as he loved being with her and the fact that she’d been willing to have dinner with his parents told him that she’d been willing to make their relationship work. Hell. She’d even cooked breakfast for him even though she hated to cook. They’d been small steps forward to what he’d so desperately wanted.

  But he had to do what he had to do. Without a doubt she’d find someone else soon enough. His gut clenched at the thought of her with another man, but he had to step away—for both his sake and hers.

  He opened the door and found her sitting at the dining table with her laptop opened as business news played in the background. She looked up with a smile. His chest ached at the realization that he was never going to walk into her apartment to find her working again, that he’d never get to listen to her sing in the shower or wake up with her in his arms ever again.

  She stood and walked towards him as he stood, frozen. He didn’t want to do this.

  She frowned when she was near. “What’s wrong?”

  “We have to break up,” he said before he lost his nerve. It would be so easy to throw caution to the wind and enjoy what they had for however long they could, but he couldn’t. The company deserved his full attention and she deserved someone who would put her first. “I’m sorry,” he said as he shook his head. With his heart breaking, he pushed on. “I’m getting busy at the office and don’t have time for a relationship right now. Harkin needs my full attention.”

  * * *

  “Oh.” Sam’s throat tightened. “I understand,” she said, though she didn’t really.

  What was wrong with her?

  First, Jason had cheated because she wasn’t enough for him and now Luke didn’t think she was good enough, either. Because she knew Luke’s talk about being busy was bull. He could’ve just said that he wanted to pull back and see her when things were less hectic at work, but he wasn’t even offering that. He wanted out and was trying to make things easier on her by saying that he was busy. In the back of her head, she registered him hugging her, his clean scent enveloping her.

  “Thank you,” he murmured as he backed away. “It’s been amazing.”

  “It’s okay,” she forced out. Though it was hurting like hell right now, she didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t want her. She
’d only be setting them up both for failure. “It was just a fling anyway.” She tried to brush off the significance of their relationship yet the words felt wrong. False. A mockery of every intense emotion he’d made her feel. “Friends?” she asked as she looked at him, though she knew she was only kidding herself. She would make sure she was out of his life so that she would never have to see him with another woman.

  “Friends.” He hesitated before giving her something.

  A key. The key to her apartment.

  Her heart broke. He had this all planned out, didn’t he? She’d never stood a chance of changing his mind. And in that moment, she was glad she hadn’t begged, glad she’d responded with dignity and composure.

  “Thank you,” she said numbly.

  “Yeah. I’ll…uh, see you around.”

  As soon as Luke was gone, Sam gave into the tears she’d been holding back. She didn’t know how, but this hurt a lot more than when she’d found out that Jason had been cheating on her. Luke had gotten under her skin and made her love him like she’d never loved another and she feared that she’d never be right again.

  * * *

  Holy. That’s a great buy. You have to buy it before someone else figures this out. And let me know when you’re done, so I can buy some for myself!

  Laying in bed, Luke smiled softly as he read the old text conversation he’d had with Sam two weeks later. He could almost hear her voice and, like the masochist he was, he couldn’t stop reading them. All of them.

  He’d cherish the memories of these past months with her for the rest of his life and hated that any new memories he’d have with her would only be as friends and he wasn’t even sure if that would happen. Though they’d agreed to it, neither of them had contacted the other since they’d broken up, and he didn’t expect that to change anytime soon. He’d hurt her, and she would understandably stay away from him for the time being. Or maybe not. She wouldn’t have asked to be friends if she wasn’t planning on following through.