Dodge the Bullet

by Christy Hayes

  The night was very quiet, very dark and if she could’ve felt anything beyond the blood surging through the rapid fire beat of her heart she’d have frozen in the cold. She crossed the fenced yard and followed close to the road. She could hear her footsteps in the gravel even in her rubber-soled slippers and had to concentrate on not tripping in the irrigation grooves. The bite of the air against her exposed arms and ankles stung, and underneath the thin tank top and pajama pants her skin didn’t fare much better. As she gripped the handle of the bat tightly, she wished she’d listened to Dodge and gotten a gun so she could fire a warning shot from a distance. She’d probably end up scaring the shit out of everyone and incite a gun battle, which she’d inevitably lose. Dumb idea.

  Sarah stopped at the gate that separated the main pasture from the barns to catch her breath and to try and figure out what was going on. She could see the back end of a truck, too large to be Miguel’s, but it was too dark to tell if it belonged to Dodge. And the headlights she saw were too small to have come from such a large truck. She squeezed between the razor sharp wires and jerked when she heard a noise from the barn. The razor sliced through the back of her tank top and, she felt sure, into her skin. She bit her tongue to stop from screaming and, crouched over like a thief in the night, ran toward the side of the barn.

  Sarah pushed her back against the cinderblock structure and inched her way toward the corner of the barn nearest the door to try and get a look inside. The door was open in her direction and there was no way for her to see without exposing herself. Sarah was debating what to do when a tall shadow approached the opening and reached for the door that was only inches from her face. She didn’t have time to think, barely had time to take a breath before she cocked the bat back and swung with all her mite.

  For someone who had just swung a bat, Sarah couldn’t quite figure out how her head had slammed against the barn wall with a strong arm pushed against her larynx. The bright beam of a flashlight shined accusingly in her face.

  “Goddamn it, woman!” Dodge clicked off the light and dropped his arm, but didn’t back up. “What the hell are you doing, trying to get yourself killed?”

  Sarah tried to rub the back of her head, but couldn’t lift her arms higher than her chest because he still had her pinned. “Get the hell off of me.” She pushed him away with the heels of her palms.

  Dodge stepped back, and in the dim light from the barn she could tell by the way the veins in his neck bulged he was spitting mad. He’d scared her to death and damn near given her a concussion and he had the nerve to be angry with her? She gave his chest a slap for good measure. “What am I doing? What the hell are you doing?” She rubbed her head in earnest. “I thought you were an intruder.”

  “So you came after me alone? With a bat? I thought I told you to call me if you saw anything suspicious. I made it clear you weren’t to handle this on your own.”

  “You’re not my keeper.”

  “Well somebody needs to be because you sure as hell could do with one.”

  “Urrrrr,” Sarah growled and turned to stomp away.

  Dodge grabbed her arm. “Whoa, wait a minute.” He pulled her back.

  “Let go of me.” She tried to pull her arm away.

  “Sarah, you’re bleeding, honey, what happened?” He clicked on the flashlight to examine her wound.

  “I am?” He’d startled her, the tenderness in his voice had blanked her mind. “Oh, I…ouch!”

  “Hold still and let me get a look at this.” She could feel him pulling her shirt away from the dried blood.

  “That hurts. How bad is it?”

  Dodge ran his finger along her back. “Not too deep. I don’t think you’ll need stitches, but it needs to be cleaned. You had a tetanus shot lately?”

  “No.”

  Dodge took off his jacket and wrapped it around her gently before leading her to the barn. “Go have a seat. I’ve got a first aid kit in the truck.”

  When he returned to the barn, she turned and tried to smile through the shivers. “I couldn’t find a place to sit.”

  “I probably need you to stand against the wall over here by the light.” She carefully removed his jacket and turned her face to the wall, leaving her back for him to doctor. He set the first aid kit on a makeshift workbench he’d set up in the barn and lifted the back of her shirt. “Sarah, you’re either going to have to take this shirt off or I’ll need to cut it off. I can’t hold it up and get this cleaned out at the same time.”

  “Oh.” She tried to get the shirt off, but winced when the scrape pulled as she moved.

  Dodge grabbed her midsection to stop her. “Just lift your arms up and I’ll take it off nice and easy. That’s it,” he encouraged as he eased the tank from her head and tossed it on the table.

  Sarah felt her skin heat even as the cold air hit her bare chest. She nearly jumped at the feel of his calloused hands on her back. As he cleaned the wound, he murmured soft words like “this may sting a little” and “that’s better,” “just a few more dabs, sweetheart.” Sarah wanted to weep at his compassion. She couldn’t feel the cut through the waves of desire brought on by the feel of his fingers on his back. Her breath came faster, her head hung as though too heavy to lift, and she wished with an unbearable need that he’d reach around her back and caress her breasts that ached for his touch.

  ###

  Dodge’s hands shook. He could see the swell of Sarah’s breasts crushed under her arms, feel the warmth of her skin beneath his touch, hear her breath catch as he doctored her wound. When he put the last bandage in place over the ointment he’d smoothed over her skin, his hands began a journey of their own. He ran a finger up and down along her spine, back and forth over each bump and valley. He knew he needed to stop, knew where his exploration would lead, and kept right on going, up and down her back. Every stroke of his hand loosened his grip on sanity.

  His mind screamed at him to STOP, STOP, STOP! This was madness. This was why he’d spent all week avoiding her. His hands kept on going. He paused for a moment when the echo of his order to stop had begun to breach his foggy, lust-clouded mind. When he heard Sarah moan, long and deep, while her back arched beneath his palms and his fingers brushed the sides of her breasts like a feather, he knew he’d crossed the point of no return. She pulled her hands from her chest, placed them against the wall in front of her face, and pushed her body back into the swell of his.

  Dodge’s hands crept around her small waist and up to her breasts. He felt her heart hammer against his palm, teased her hardened nipples with his fingertips and lost his mind when she dropped the back of her head against his shoulder and let him feast on her neck while his hands wandered everywhere. Her moans became whimpers, her scent, the lemon from her hair and arousal from the place he longed to bury himself, worked like a mystical drug on his mind. Her skin tasted like sin and he gloried in the flavor.

  Sarah reached her arms around him. With one hand she laced her fingers through his hair and with the other she grabbed his thigh and tugged him closer. He could feel her heart pump, felt her knees go weak, and tasted surrender on the delicate skin of her neck. And her hands. God help him, the woman knew how to use her hands.

  The low hum of a motor made Dodge’s head jerk over his shoulder at the open barn door. He pushed Sarah upright and when she turned around, too surprised to hide her glorious breasts from view, he looked down and groaned. He’d unbuttoned his shirt before she could speak.

  “Someone’s here.” He pulled the shirt from his waistband, then his shoulders, and quickly wrapped it around her small frame. When she was covered, he moved her behind a large metal waste bin while she held tight to the shirt with her trembling hands.

  They turned toward the door with a jolt when they heard a mumbled, “Mom?” come from outside. Kevin peeked his head through the opening, saw Dodge in his undershirt and Sarah wrapped in his flannel and obviously assumed he’d stumbled into something he shouldn’t have. He assumed right.

  “
Kevin,” Sarah said on a sigh. “What are you doing out here?”

  “I could ask you the same, but I think I already know.”

  Dodge saw the boy’s face redden, watched his gaze shift between him and Sarah. Sarah shook her head and had taken a breath to explain when Dodge interrupted, pulled Sarah around the barrel. “Your mom snuck up on me tonight. She cut her back.” He turned Sarah and raised his shirt as proof.

  Kevin stayed in the doorway. “What’s going on? Why are you both out here?”

  Sarah handed Dodge his jacket. “I saw some headlights from my window earlier. They didn’t look like Miguel’s so I decided to come take a look. It was stupid. Dodge and I gave each other quite a scare.” She tried to smile, but the weak attempt didn’t seem very convincing.

  “Why didn’t you get me, tell me you saw something suspicious?” Kevin took a step into the barn, shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “You shouldn’t have come out here alone.”

  “That’s just what I told her,” Dodge said. “And that’s what I’m telling both of you now. From now on, especially at night, no one needs to be wandering around here alone.”

  Kevin snorted. “Thanks for the lecture, but I don’t need a new dad.”

  “Dodge is right, Kevin. I could have gotten myself hurt much worse and so could you. Its good advice and we’ll follow it from now on.”

  When Sarah reached out to touch him he jerked away. “I’m going back to the house.”

  Sarah took a step to stop him and Dodge grabbed her arm. “Let him go. He needs a few minutes to calm down.” He watched her wide eyes blink as she stared after Kevin with a look of horror on her face. “You okay?”

  Sarah nodded once and then dropped her face in her hands and sobbed. Dodge pulled her to his chest and gently rubbed her back. He held her, ran his hands along her shoulders when he remembered her cut and let her cry her heart out in his arms. He’d seen her before she broke down, guilt and shame ran like colors across her face, all because he’d let himself touch her, smear her with his dirty hands. This was what happened to women when they got involved with him. This was why they couldn’t be together. He was the reason she cried and he could barely stand to watch her unravel like a child in his arms.

  Sarah pulled her head up, took a few calming breaths and stepped out of his embrace. “I’m sorry.” Her voice sounded raw. “I…I, I’m sorry.”

  Dodge stepped toward her, pulled her chin up until their eyes met. “No, I’m sorry, Sarah. This won’t happen again. You have my word.”

  “No…that’s not--”

  “Shhh. I shouldn’t have touched you. I won’t do it again.”

  “Dodge, I didn’t mean I was sorry about that. I’m sorry about crying all over you and about Kevin. I don’t seem to know how to handle this. It’s just….”

  He dropped his hand from her face. “There’s nothing to handle. It won’t happen again.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?”

  “Don’t back away from me. Do you expect me to act like this never happened? Christ.” She wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed. “I can still feel your hands on me now, right now. I can’t pretend I don’t want you to touch me every time I see you. I was crying because I’ve taken a huge step backward with Kevin, no matter what he thinks he walked in on. Dodge, I haven’t been with anyone, other than my husband, in over fifteen years. I’ve never wanted anyone that way. Until now.”

  Damn it. She wasn’t going to let this go. Why wouldn’t she let this go? They made a mistake they couldn’t afford to let happen again. “You’ll thank me for this in a few days when you’ve had time to think it through.”

  She laughed now, a high pitched whoop. “You think I haven’t thought this through? It’s all I’ve thought about for days. Every time we get close it’s the same dance. One step forward, two steps back. And you.” She moved forward, pointed a finger at his chest. “You’re scared. This thing between us, it scares you and that pisses you off.”

  “You don’t scare me.” He’d clenched his jaw so tight it ached. Almost as much as his loins. He should have known she’d see right through his smoke screen like she always had. “I don’t need this, Sarah. If you want to think I’m scared, if that helps you put this little experiment of ours in place, then go right ahead. But know this.” He took a step to close the gap between them. “It won’t happen again.” He turned around and headed for the door, put his jacket on and ordered over his shoulder, “Get in the truck. I’ll take you home.”

  “I’ll take myself home, thank you very much.”

  Dodge was in her face in two long strides. “You stubborn damn woman. I could have shot you tonight, you cut your back all to hell, and its freezing cold outside.” He grabbed her arm and led her to the door of the barn. “Go get in the truck.”

  She tried to rip her arm out of his grasp and Dodge, anticipating her anger, only held on tight and dragged her to his truck. “You let go of me right now, Dodge, or I’ll…I’ll…” She bent her knee and kicked him hard in the shin.

  “Your slippers are no match for boot leather,” he said and didn’t loosen his grip. He yanked on the passenger side door, picked her up and bounced her onto the seat. Before he closed the door to walk around to the driver’s side he pointed a finger in her face. “If you try to get out of this truck before I’m at your house, I’ll hunt you down and shove you right back in the truck all over again. We can do this all night, I don’t give a damn, but I’m taking you home.”

  ###

  Dodge drove in stony silence to her cabin while Sarah stewed beside him. The closer they came to home, the closer she came to having to face Kevin. When Dodge stopped the truck, she got out without a word or a glance in his direction and slammed the door in her wake. She’d deal with him later.

  When she came into the den, she saw the blanket that Lyle had used on the floor and knew he was sound asleep in his room. Kevin was still up; she could see the light peeking through the gaps in his door. She knocked and heard a muffled reply she couldn’t understand. Kevin looked up from his bed and scowled at her when she opened the door.

  “I don’t want to talk right now, mom.”

  The look on Kevin’s face made her want to run to her bedroom and hide under the covers, but she proceeded to his bed and took a seat beside him anyway. “I have a few things to say to you and I don’t think they can wait.”

  Kevin sat upright with a jerk. “You can say there was nothing going on out there all you want, but I know what I saw,” he said. “Jesus mom, the guilty look on your face says it all.”

  Her little boy had become a man right in front of her eyes. No child wanted to think about their parents having sex, and they certainly didn’t want to think about their mother having sex with someone other than their father. Sarah knew she needed to be straight with him. Anything else would be insulting.

  “I can’t tell you how much I want to lie and say you’re wrong. Something did happen, completely unplanned, and I’m sorry you stumbled into to it. But I have feelings for him and you need to understand that I’m not cheating on Daddy.”

  Kevin’s eyes closed and stayed closed. “It feels like it.”

  Sarah reached out, placed her hand over his, and felt encouraged when he didn’t pull away. She didn’t say anything for a few moments, but just held on to him as every ounce of love poured from her heart into her oldest son.

  “I know it feels that way, Kevin. And if your daddy were still alive, we would never be having this conversation. But he’s not here and he’s not coming back.” Kevin opened his eyes and looked at her, the green of his eyes dark like emeralds and older now than they were just moments ago. “I didn’t go out there tonight to be with Dodge. I didn’t plan to feel something for him, for anyone. It just sort of happened when I wasn’t paying attention.” She lifted her hand from his, pushed the hair back from his face and took a deep breath. “I will always love your dad. What happened with Dodge,
whatever is happening with Dodge, has nothing to do with Daddy. Life goes on, Kev, and I know Daddy wouldn’t want me to pine away after him for the rest of my life. I just hope you can accept that.”

  “I don’t like it.” But he looked her in the eye and he didn’t sound sulky. He’d simply stated fact.

  “I know that. I don’t expect you to.”

  “What’s going to happen now? Is he going to be living here with us? Staying here overnight?”

  “Kevin.” Sarah sighed. How could she explain what was going on with her and Dodge when she had no idea where they stood with each other? “No, to both of those. I don’t know what’s going to happen. Right now he’s pretty mad at me and I’m not all together happy with him. But I’m an adult and you’re my son and I’m going to tell you right now that most of what’s going on is none of your business. The only reason I’m talking to you about it now is because I wanted to be straight with you.” She patted his hand and stood up to leave. At the door she turned around and looked at her son on the bed. “I love you, Kevin. No matter what, you and Lyle will always come first.”

  Chapter 15

  Sarah stood in the shower, let the hot water pound on her head and winced when it slid beneath the bandages Dodge had applied the night before. What a mess. She didn’t even know how to be around Dodge, or how she felt about him. But whatever she thought, whatever she felt, she knew they weren’t finished. If she had to force the issue, they weren’t through.

  Hell, they’d barely gotten started, barely touched one another and she’d had to explain it to Kevin. Well, damn it, if she had to discuss it with her kids, had to feel guilty about taking steps to move on, then by God she was going to have the pleasure of actually moving forward. But she knew they’d stay stuck in place for awhile, this needy, edgy place where all the lines were blurred. He’d called her stubborn, but Dodge was as hard-headed a man as she’d ever met. If he had it in his mind that being together was a mistake it would be awhile before she’d get the chance to be alone with him.