“Are we going to have something else to eat with this?” Abby’s unimpressed with the whole cleaning experience, but I’m making them do it with me.
“We have plenty to eat.” Natalie’s voice is upbeat, but mostly, she’s trying not to laugh at our spectacle. “And we’ll each get a piece of fish, if, you know, we get this part done okay.”
I spear her with a scowl and she presses her lips together, fighting back laughter. Maddy’s mouth hangs open as I cut away the skin. Abby loved the whole fishing experience, but I’ve lost her with this part.
“How are we going to cook it?” Abby asks. She lobbied hard for us to throw it back in, but I wanted to pass on a life lesson. Teach a person to fish and they’ll never go hungry proverb kind of thing, but it’s backfiring as I bumble my way through.
“Maybe we’ll do some breading and fry it.” Natalie readjusts the phone for me. “I don’t trust our open fire skills enough to keep from losing it in the flames.”
“Can I cut?” Maddy asks.
“When you’re older.” Because we’re totally doing this again. Not only because the more we do it, the better we’ll all get, but because reeling the bass in was the most fun I’ve had in years.
As I follow the rest of the video’s instructions, Natalie points out interesting parts of the guts—interesting to Maddy only. Abby’s expression grows more horrified as she speaks.
“Okay.” I set the fillets on a clean plate. “We’ll cook some hamburgers too. Don’t worry.”
Relief crosses Abby’s face and Natalie grins at me. She leads them inside with the meat while I clean up everything.
Four hours of fishing and we hooked one fish. Not bad for the commotion the girls were making on the dock.
By the time I get inside and washed up, the savory smells of our catch frying fill the kitchen. I dig out the hamburgers and go outside to cook on the grill my client keeps on the back deck. Abby comes outside. The look of abject disgust from earlier is still on her face.
“Don’t like the smell of fish?” I ask.
She sprawls across the porch swing, one bony leg hanging down and the other across the seat. “So gross. Do I have to eat it?”
“No, but it’d be cool if you tried it.”
“Maybe.” She sounds like her mother when the girls ask if they can do something that’ll make a giant mess and Natalie doesn’t want to deal with the fallout of saying no right away. “Do we have to go home tomorrow? This place is really fun.”
I’d love to stay another week. Hell, two. It’s not like we’re roughing it. I don’t remember the last time I was this relaxed. Even when fishhooks were swinging left and right on the dock while the girls were learning how to cast their lines and I was certain I’d end up with an unintentional piercing, I was having a blast. My mind wasn’t on work or checking my inbox.
“I’m sure my client has plans here the rest of the summer, but maybe we can find another cabin to rent in August.”
Her eyes light up. “Really? That’d be fun. Or we can use the tent.”
My mind instantly forms an image of showing them how to put up a tent and build a real fire in a dirt pit. They’re having so much fun this weekend, they’ll really love going to another level of camping. “Yes. Let’s make it happen. I’ll talk to Mom.”
“We should do it before soccer starts. You’re coaching, right?”
Right. Coaching two teams. While I’m moving my office and training new staff. I can make it work. “I said I would.”
She runs over and flings her arms around my waist. “It’s so much better when you and Mom live together.”
Just like me, the girls don’t feel as if the divorce was real. It’s a bad dream that keeps popping up with a reminder. Natalie’s my wife in every way, except she’s not.
I think about that all through dinner. Natalie lifts her brows in the middle of the meal. She senses something is off. I shake my head. It’ll have to wait until the girls are asleep.
That time comes faster than any of us thought. Getting up early with the sun and then a full day outside, fishing and playing in the lake, wore them out. Both Natalie and I tuck them in. One of the bedrooms has a queen bed they’re sharing and we pile in and read stories. Natalie sneaks away first to take a shower.
After the girls fall asleep, I jump into the shower and clean all the lake water off. When I’m in fresh clothes that have no bug spray or sunscreen sprayed on them, I go looking for Natalie.
The house is quiet and I find her outside on the porch swing. She has a citronella candle burning and is peacefully staring at the water. The sun won’t set for over an hour, but its rays ripple over the surface of the lake.
She hasn’t heard me yet. I can look my fill without making her any more uncomfortable than a weekend of abstinence is causing. Long, toned legs rock with the swing. Her curls are drying into tighter corkscrews and despite religious use of sunscreen, her cheeks and nose have a tint of red, making her freckles stand out.
My wife gets more beautiful each year. There’s nothing more I want to do right now than carry her to bed, or hell, to the car so we can avoid all that uncomfortable “We fucked at your place” business, but I don’t. We’re not having sex, but we’re still connecting. Natalie’s always been my favorite person to talk to. My best friend.
I dig out my phone and bring up the camera. Focusing on her, I take her picture.
She senses me and blinks when she sees me taking her photo.
I pocket the phone. “You’ve been taking so many pictures, but there’s not enough of you.”
“Thank you.” She smiles shyly and pats the spot next to her. We swing idly for a few quiet moments.
She inhales softly. The wind gently ruffles her curls. “I never understood why people kept a cabin and a house. I always thought it was twice the work. But this kind of relaxing is a different plane of existence.”
“Abby wants to come here again next month.”
Natalie looks at me. “What’d you say?”
“That it’s a good idea. Maybe we can tent camp.”
“I don’t know if that’ll be as relaxing,” she says wryly. “But it sounds like fun.” We fall silent for a few more minutes and watch pink and orange hues paint the sky as the sun begins to set. “What were you thinking about over dinner?”
“That I don’t feel divorced.”
“Oh.” She goes still. My foot is the only one making the swing move, its faint squeaks fading into the night. “I guess that does raise some questions about what we do… how we’re going to know that…” She blows out a gusty breath. “I don’t want to plan a freaking wedding.”
I chuckle and tug her closer to me on the seat. “I don’t need a wedding to get married to you. But legally, we’ll have to do something if we want to be officially married.”
“The girls will want to be involved.”
“Your parents?”
She nods, then quirks a brow. “Your parents?”
We both snicker. “I’ll just go ahead and RSVP a no for them.”
Natalie is my dream girl, but she isn’t the one they pictured me with. They had visions of someone who came from money, already possessed a prominent name, and would demurely stand by my side while I ruled the world—all while they made comments about how I should’ve ruled the world a few years earlier if I was really that good.
I don’t know if I was an accident for them, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if it was an heir and a spare type deal. They just never thought they’d need the spare, and here I am, a family man living in the Midwest. How unimportant of me.
It was easier for them to blame Natalie for my perceived failures. At least they weren’t the shittiest grandparents. When they were around, they loved hearing the girls’ stories and my mother enjoyed chatting with them.
They just never come to visit and they travel so much that we can never plan to visit them.
Natalie lays her head on my shoulder. “How do we know?”
Sh
e doesn’t need to clarify. How do we know when we’re solid enough to say our vows again? My answer is easy. “I could do it tomorrow.”
She doesn’t respond.
“Natalie?”
Lifting her head, she doesn’t hide the indecision in her eyes. “It hasn’t even been two months. I don’t want to rush something so important.”
I’m more crestfallen than I expected. Natalie’s always been the more pragmatic one in our relationship, thinking of all the ways things can go wrong. Does she have to be that way when it comes to me?
I’ve just got to keep doing what I’m doing to earn her trust, to get us to a place where she has zero qualms about saying I do again.
We’re just not there yet.
Chapter 19
Natalie
Simon’s unloading the car and I’m unpacking our bags and the kids are helping arrange the fishing gear so I can take it back to Dad. My mind’s going a mile a minute.
The Fourth of July holiday stretched into a week with the trip and I haven’t done anything to prepare for the kids’ upcoming week. Groceries need replenishing, laundry needs to be done, and I haven’t even looked at how behind I am on my own job and half-marathon training.
I zip into the office to peek at the calendar. Ugh. Swimming lessons start this week, on top of their sports sampler activity.
“What’s wrong?”
Simon’s at the door, rugged and rumpled after a morning cleaning and packing.
I give him an appreciative smile. “It’s nothing.”
“That groan wasn’t nothing.”
I don’t want to look at everything on my calendar I won’t be getting to this week. Nudging past him to leave the office, I head to the bedroom to gather a pile of laundry.
He follows. “Seriously. What’s wrong?”
I look over his shoulder, but I don’t see or hear the girls. “Where are the kids?”
His lopsided smile is adorable. “Downstairs, getting a TV fix after nearly three days without any.”
As long as they’re not around to hear, I can whine just a little. It’s not like my issues are the end of the world. “I’m trying not to stress. It’s a busy week and I need to run to the store and think of some lunches to pack so we can eat between their activities. Which is fine, but I haven’t been keeping up on my training runs and I wanted to do a little more with my business before I launch.”
My business. Compared to what he’s built, my endeavor looks like a toddler game—for three and under. I’ll get paid to do minor online tasks others don’t want to. I’m not controlling millions of dollars, holding people’s life savings in my hands, not to mention I won’t have any employees.
He lifts a shoulder. “I’ll go to the store. You go for a run.”
“I should find their swimming things to wash first. Lessons are starting. And it’s volleyball week. I think we have at least one set of knee pads.”
“Go for a run. I’ll do that.”
“Don’t you need to catch up?”
A cloud ripples over his features, then is gone. His neglected inbox and voicemails are killing him. “I’ll do it after. I just need your help making a quick list.”
He’s been gone longer from work than I can remember. While we were away, he diligently ignored his phone, to the point where he left it in the vehicle because it was buzzing with too many incoming messages and emails.
But he’s willing to put it off a little longer because I’m stressed about first world problems.
I tilt my head. “Did I ever tell you how sexy it is when you get groceries?”
Heat seeps into his gaze and he shuts the bedroom door behind him. The click of the lock echoes between us. “Did I tell you how fucking painful it was not to mess around at the cabin?”
He reaches behind his head and yanks his shirt off. I do the same. He walks out of his shorts and underwear as he crosses to me, his erection pointing the way. I slip my clothing past my hips and wiggle out of them while unhooking my bra.
We don’t mess around with foreplay. The kids could knock on the door any minute.
I put my hands on his shoulders and push him back on the bed.
His chuckle rumbles through my thighs as I crawl on top of him. He grips my hips to place me over him. All I have to do is rock down on his length.
His fingers tighten on my skin. “Anytime you’re stressed, I offer up my services.”
I wrap my fist around his hot length to hold him steady and lower myself, releasing him when his broad tip breaches my body.
I don’t bother to hold back my moan. “Definitely a good stress reliever.” I don’t care about anything right now. Not sports sampler camp. Not swimming lessons. And not running. All I’m focused on is getting off with my husband.
Our talk on the porch swing filters through my mind, but I push it away. It’s tabled for now.
I press the rest of the way down and don’t linger. Anchoring my knees on either side of him, I rock back up, then down.
“Natalie,” he breathes as he rolls his torso up, stroking his hands behind me to bring us closer together. “Anytime you need help, come to me.”
I set a pace riding him and wrap my arms around his head, hugging his head to my chest. He makes me feel important, makes me feel seen.
“Simon.” It comes out as a whine. Pressure’s building. I need him. I need this. Just me and him against the world. That’s what I’ve been missing. As an only kid that had a hard time making close friends, he’s been my partner in so many ways. And when his work demanded more and more of him, I was left as that girl who had no one to face the world with, only I had two little girls who look to me for everything.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers and slips his hand between us.
As soon as his finger touches my clit, I lose all thought. It’s nothing but his strong embrace, him inside me, and a peak of pure bliss that’s so close.
“I love you,” I whimper. I might not be ready to put my heart on the line and say my vows again, but I can be honest. I love him. I’ve always loved him and that’ll never change.
“I love you too,” he says gruffly.
That’s it for me. I explode, biting my lip to keep from hollering and bringing the kids to the door.
His hold tightens and he stiffens underneath me, rocking us both as he releases inside. He buries his head in the crook of my neck and rides out his orgasm as I finish mine.
Rolling us to the side, I remain in his embrace, but this time it’s my head in the crook of his neck.
His embrace tightens. “You don’t know how scared I was that I’d never hear you say that again.”
I sigh. “Same.”
“I’m going to marry you again, Natalie. Whatever it takes.”
I look up at him. “I hope so.”
* * *
Simon
I take the girls with me to get groceries and put them to work hauling the bags inside and unloading them. Natalie was down in the gym when we got home, getting her run in.
The connection we had before I left…
That alone will make the next few hours answering messages and emails worth it. But it was worth it long before that.
The girls are in their room, finding fresh beach towels for swimming lessons. I sit at the table and pull up my inbox.
Fuck.
Pages of messages. I set up an autoresponder like Lancaster suggested, but it seems to have doubled my emails. Mr. Waterson is demanding an update about the London startup that went under. He refuses to deal with Helena. Several more messages from Helena regarding all the work she was stuck with over the weekend.
I wince. She ended up working more than I thought because I was offline.
As I scroll through, I stop at the one from Graham Morgan.
I hear you’re expanding. My offer still stands.
I have no idea why he wants to buy Gainesworth Equity. Well, other than money. But there are a lot of successful equity firms that are much larger and more e
stablished. Why mine?
I don’t bother to reply. He’s my brother’s ex-best friend. The fallout between them was more epic than I knew at the time, but Liam’s been gone for years. Is Graham looking out for me, or does he have it out for me?
I switch to voicemail and frown when I see my father’s number. He didn’t leave a message.
I flick my gaze to the stairs. The girls have been in their room for twenty minutes. Looking for beach towels has probably taken a detour into playing.
I call him back.
He answers with, “Simon. Where were you?”
“Sorry I missed your call. I took the girls camping this weekend.” I refrain from saying we since I haven’t told them that Natalie and I are back together.
“Ah.” There’s no interest in his tone. “Your mother and I have a flight to Singapore next weekend, but we thought we’d prolong a stop in Minneapolis and fly in and out of Fargo.”
They never fly directly here. Coming to Fargo was an inconvenient diversion in their travel plans. When Liam was alive, I’d hear about how much easier it was to visit him. How big his house was. How well his work was going. I don’t get that anymore, but I know they’re thinking it.
Are you sure that’s the best route to take for investing? Shouldn’t you have more employees by now? If you hired someone instead of working with Natalie, maybe you’d be better established.
“When are you coming in?” Please be a weekend. I’m so behind and I can’t heap more onto Helena, but I also can’t miss my parents.
“We’ll fly in Saturday for lunch. We’ll rent a car because the turnaround is pretty tight.”
It doesn’t have to be. They could come for the weekend. They could stay overnight. If they didn’t want to stay here, they could get a damn hotel room. But Singapore calls.
They’re never going to change so there’s no point in bringing up any of those options. “Okay. We’ll see you then. And, uh… Natalie and I are back together.”
My father doesn’t reply for a heartbeat. Then two. “Oh.”
“Yeah. It’s been almost two months.” Not quite a month and a half. “And it’s going well.”
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