Surrender Your Heart

by Marie Higgins

  “What if he doesn’t want to love again? After what happened with his wife—”

  “Stop being so doubtful. Em, you’ll never know until you try.” Hannah turned Emily toward the back door. “Now go try. He’s in the barn, and he’s been there for a little while. Go talk to him before it’s too late.”

  Emily’s heartbeat raced as she stared at the back door. Her palms sweat, and her body shook with anticipation. This was nothing like how she’d felt when she had a crush on Calvin Jenkins. This feeling was even better.

  ELEVEN

  Adam stared at the horse as he pushed the hand-brush over the back of the animal. His thoughts were filled with the events of the day, especially the surprise meeting he had with Mary’s parents. He could have gone at least ten more years without seeing them again. He’d always disliked the way they belittled him in their polite demeaning tone. When Mary was alive, she always defended him in front of her parents. He had never been good enough for them then, and he would never be good enough for them now. Even if he discovered what had really happened that fateful night.

  What bothered him the most was that he still let them get the best of him. He was a different man now. Not only had he strengthened his body, but he’d strengthened his mind and wit. He wasn’t someone people could walk over any longer. Yet when he ran into them at the sheriff’s office, he felt like an insect standing next to powerful lions.

  The squeaky hinges on the barn door snapped him out of his depressing thoughts and he swung his head toward the door. Emily stepped inside, but when she saw him, she paused as her hand grasped the door as if she was going to bolt at any second.

  “You’re here,” she said.

  “Yes. I’ve been back for a little while. I’m sorry I haven’t come inside to eat, yet.”

  “That’s all right. We put your food on the stove to keep it warm.”

  “What’s for supper?”

  “Fried chicken and potatoes.”

  He smiled at her weakly. “Sounds delicious.”

  Finally, she moved away from the door, closing it behind her. As she walked toward him, her steps seemed to be hesitant as if she was worried about getting too close. Then again, she had every right to feel that way since he was certain she’d end up in his arms.

  “How was your evening?” he asked, turning back to brushing the horse.

  “I had a pleasant talk with my sister.” She took the extra brush from the shelf and moved to the other side of the horse and started brushing. “How was yours? Did you get to talk to the Irishmen?”

  “There were some high points to the evening, and some low points. But I didn’t get to speak with the Irishmen, however, the sheriff has put two of his deputies on watch at the Faraday’s house.”

  “Oh, good.” Her pretty blue eyes kept hold of his gaze. “Did you find out what their strange conversation was all about?”

  Adam nodded. “It seems the Irishmen have already started to bring havoc to the Faraday’s lives. And, I discovered that Mr. Faraday is a driver for the same company that had taken Jacob and Hannah to the opera. The man’s brother-in-law was supposed to be the driver that night.”

  She gasped. “You discovered quite a bit tonight.”

  “I sure did.”

  “Is that what took you so long to come home?”

  He hesitated before answering as his smile grew along with the desire building up inside of him. “You were waiting for me to return?”

  Even in the dim lighting of the barn, he noticed when her face reddened. He thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

  “I...I, well, you’d said you were going to be home, and I wondered why you weren’t home because I thought something had gone wrong, and...well...”

  He tried not to laugh as he slowly moved around the horse toward her, setting the brush on the edge of the stall. Emily was simply adorable when she stammered. She was all woman, but he liked seeing her as nervous as a school girl. It was certainly better than seeing her temper when she was upset at him—even though he still liked that, too.

  “It’s all right, Emily.” He stopped beside her and caressed her cheek. “I know you were worried about me. It was selfish of me not to come inside as soon as I arrived to let you know I was fine. After all, you had overheard the Irishmen threatening the Faraday’s welfare, too, so you knew there might be danger with my job.”

  She nodded. “But I wouldn’t call you selfish. Remember, we did conclude that you had a heart in one of our previous conversations.”

  He chuckled and dropped his hand from her face. “Ah yes, my heart. It sure is a fickle organ, is it not?”

  “Why would you say that?”

  He stared into her wondrous eyes, knowing he could get lost in those sea-blue orbs and not want to come out. “No reason, really. It’s just that I’ve realized that I’m having a difficult time forgiving and forgetting. If I truly had a heart that was working correctly, I’d be able to forgive and forget without a second thought.”

  “But Adam, you are overlooking one important thing.” She placed her hand on his arm. “You’ve been through a lot of heartache in your life. It’s normal for you to feel this way.”

  He arched an eyebrow. “To the point of having ill thoughts about the people who have wronged me?”

  “It depends.” She shrugged. “How serious are your thoughts?”

  As he stared deep into her eyes, calmness filled him, easing the strain on his heart. It had been easy to converse with Emily. In fact, even when they first met, he realized how much he enjoyed it. Although there was that awkward conversation on the train...but he still found it comforting when they talked. Part of him wanted to tell her everything about his life, and yet he worried that opening up old wounds would take longer to heal.

  “It doesn’t matter, Emily. They are just ghosts from my past, and I’d rather they stayed locked and out of sight where they belong.”

  He turned away from her and led the horse into the stall completely before stepping out and closing the gate. When he looked back at Emily, she hadn’t moved from where she stood, except she wasn’t holding the brush any longer.

  She still wore the same clothes she’d had on earlier. On her skirt were a few dirt stains from when they were hiding in the bushes. Her long-sleeved, white blouse had been rolled up to her elbows, and she wore a vest that matched the color of her brown skirt. The bulk of her blonde hair fell around her shoulders and down her back, but the sides had been pulled back away from her face and fastened with hair pins.

  It didn’t matter if she was dripping wet, in her nightdress, or wearing a lovely ball gown, Emily Black was a very stunning woman, and now he knew why he had a difficult time taking his eyes off her. She was a mixture of innocence, sensuality, brilliance, and she could be as stubborn as a mule. With a combination like that, she was certain to keep him thoroughly entertained on a daily basis.

  Finally, she walked toward him, her gaze never leaving his face.

  “Adam, something is bothering you, and I feel you want to tell me.” She stopped in front of him. “Please talk to me. Keeping our problems bottled up inside only makes us feel worse. It’s better to let them out so we can be free from them harming us.”

  He grinned. “Your words make sense, however, I think that’s more how women believe than what men believe.”

  She rolled her eyes and gave him a crooked smile. “Adam, I mean it. You’re not going to be any less of a man if you tell me what’s bothering you.”

  “But what if it does?”

  She playfully slapped his shoulder. “Stop it.” She chuckled. “I had a wise woman tell me, you’ll never know until you try.”

  “And who was this wise woman?”

  “My sister.”

  He nodded. “Yes, she is a wise woman.” Sighing, he moved to the bench and sat. He dropped his focus to his knees as he slowly pushed the palms of his hands along his jeans. “I ran into Mary’s parents this afternoon.”

  Emily gasped, an
d he looked up at her. The color had left her face.

  “Your former in-laws?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do...they live here?”

  “No, they live in London, England.”

  Her eyes widened. “Well no wonder it was such a surprise. That’s a long way to travel.” She sauntered toward him and leaned on the wooden post.

  “Yes, it’s a very long journey, but they came to check whether the sheriff had found the person responsible for burning down our house and killing their daughter and grandson.”

  “Were they surprised to see you?”

  “Oh, yes. I couldn’t tell who was more shocked, them or me.” He shook his head. “The last time I saw them was at the funerals. Their last words to me were not very polite. In fact, they blamed me for killing Mary and Phillip.” He dropped his gaze again. “I think that’s where the rumors started, because they had said it so loudly that everyone in the church heard.”

  “Oh, Adam.”

  Emily rushed to his side and fell to her knees beside him. She grasped his hands. When he looked into her eyes, they were watery. His heart flipped knowing she cared so much.

  “They were so wrong,” she told him. “How could you have done such a thing when you loved your wife and son so much?”

  “It’s because they are upper-class, and I’m nothing but the dirt that gets on their fancy boots. I always have been, and I always will be. I had promised to take care of their little girl when I married her, but under my protection, she died.”

  Emotion clogged his throat, and he stood quickly, moving away from Emily. He didn’t want her to see how much he hurt. Even after all this time, it was hard not to feel like a failure.

  “Adam? Will you tell me what happened the night of the fire?” Emily’s voice grew closer until she touched his arm.

  His heart twisted in agony. Did he want to relive it? Why couldn’t it be enough that his family died and he was alive to suffer through the years of loneliness and heartbreak?

  He breathed in slowly, trying to gain the courage he lacked. “Emily, I don’t think—”

  “Please,” she said softly.

  He turned and looked at her, preparing to turn her down, but seeing those glittering pools in her sapphire eyes, held him captivated. She was breathtakingly lovely, even while tears swam in her eyes.

  “I was at a friend’s house that evening, helping him repair his boat. When I rode home, I could see there was a fire, but it wasn’t until I came closer that I realized it was my house. Many people were there, trying to put out the blazing flames that reached high into the night sky. In panic, I searched for Mary and Phillip, but nobody had seen them. Several times I’d tried going inside to find them, but people were holding me back. The fire was too intense, and I would have been killed.” Emotion clogged his throat, making it hard to swallow. “The next day was when we found the bones...”

  His voice cracked, and he tried to turn away, but Emily wouldn’t let him. She slid her arms tightly around his waist and pressed the side of her face against his chest. His heart burst with tenderness, and he held her, enjoying the moment. He rested his face in her hair. She smelled like strawberries. Her soft body next to his felt so right...so pleasurable.

  The longer he held her, the faster the horrific nightmares from his past disappeared. Finally, he could breathe easier, and his throat wasn’t as tight. Comfort encased him, and he knew the reason was because of the woman in his arms. He didn’t want to let Emily go. Not ever.

  “Oh, Adam,” Emily whispered brokenly. “You’ve been through so much. I wish I knew what to say...what to do...”

  “Shhh, my sweet Emily.” He lifted her chin with his finger until their eyes met—hers were filled with unshed tears. “What you’re doing right now is perfect.”

  “And what is that?”

  He smiled. “You’re here with me, sharing my grief. There’s nothing much better than that.”

  The corners of her mouth lifted. “Really? Do you mean it?”

  The quick rhythm of his heart told him what he’d tried not to admit since meeting her. She was the woman who would make him feel again. She was the woman who’d bring love back into his life.

  He nodded as he lowered his head, placing his mouth on hers. She inhaled sharply, but the moment he started kissing her, she melted against him. He tightened his arms around her waist mainly to hold her up, but then he realized he actually liked feeling her so close to his heart.

  It surprised him how well she kissed, but according to Hannah, Emily hadn’t had many beaus. Passion was inside of this amazing woman, no matter how she expressed it.

  Using one hand, he cupped her face as he deepened the kiss, stroking his tongue against hers. Her breath hitched for a second, but then she released the cutest little moan of delight his ears had ever heard.

  Time seemed to stand still as they kissed passionately. At this moment, nothing else mattered but experiencing the joy of desire as it seeped into his body. It had been too long since he’d held a woman and kissed her. His heartbeat accelerated by the second, and it was as if Emily was giving him his life back...a life he never thought he’d see again. But this time, it would be much different. Emily was like fresh air blowing feeling back into him. She was exactly what he needed.

  As the passion grew between them, Adam knew it was time to slow things down. Kissing her was one of the greatest pleasures he’d experienced, but he’d have to be satisfied for their moments together. For now, anyway.

  He slowly broke the kiss but held her close as her head rested in the crook of his neck. He smiled and stroked her hair.

  After a few silent moments with just their heavy breaths mixing together in the air, she sighed before chuckling breathlessly.

  “I reckon you really did mean it,” she said.

  Grinning, he pulled back and peered down into her face. “What are you talking about?”

  “I’d asked you if you’d meant that there was nothing better than me sharing your grief.” She shrugged. “Then you gave me that toe-curling kiss, so now I think you really meant it.”

  He laughed and stroked her cheek. “You are simply adorable, my sweet Emily. I love how you can make me laugh.”

  “And I love that I can make you feel that emotion.”

  “Yeah, me, too.” He gave her another quick kiss, before pulling away. “I suppose we should go inside now. Your sister is probably wondering what is taking us so long.”

  Emily’s eyes sparkled. “I don’t know... My sister is pretty smart. She might know.”

  He ran the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip. “All she needs to do is look at your face and she’ll know.”

  “What about your face?” Emily arched an eyebrow. “If I’m not mistaken, you look pretty happy right now, too.”

  “You’re not mistaken. I’m extremely happy right now.”

  He kept his arm around her as they walked out of the barn. He didn’t want this night to end. Unfortunately, tomorrow would be here too soon and ruin his mood. He needed to solve the mystery with the Irishmen before he could fully give his heart to Emily. Then, and only then, would he truly be happy.

  TWELVE

  Emily woke up at the crack of dawn. Earlier, in fact. She wanted to be awake and dressed and downstairs when Adam left for the day.

  Last night with him in the barn had been a dream-come-true. Of course, sharing her first passionate kiss in a barn wasn’t exactly where she had dreamed a man would kiss her, but at the time, it hadn’t mattered. She was with Adam and he was so very loving. It was hard to stop her heart from going out to him. Their kiss had been magical.

  This morning, she wore one of her fancier ensembles today. The striped lavender and light gray jersey jacket emphasized the creamy white blouse with ruffled collar. The dark gray skirt toned perfectly with the jacket. She left her hair to hang down around her shoulders and back, only pulling the bulk of it off her forehead and by her ears using jeweled hair combs.

  As s
he waited for Adam to come down, she prepared the coffee. Finally, the ceiling creaked with footsteps, and her heartbeat quickened. Within fifteen minutes, men’s boots echoed on the stairs and in the hallway until Adam walked into the kitchen.

  The second their eyes met, he smiled. His gaze moved slowly over her, stirring pleasurable flutters inside of her belly.

  “Good morning,” he said as he moved toward her. “What are you doing up so early?” He stopped in front of her, took a lock of her hair, and rubbed it between his finger and thumb. “And why are you a vision for my tired eyes? Are you going to a ball this early in the morning?”

  She wished her face didn’t burn from embarrassment. Of course, he knew why she was dressed up, but he was going to make her say it aloud, anyway. “I wanted to look nice for you.”

  His grin widened as he circled his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. She rested her hands on his muscular chest and tilted her head back to meet his wondrous eyes.

  “My sweet, Emily, you could be dripping wet from nearly drowning in a stream, and you’d still be the prettiest woman around.”

  Giddiness bounced in her chest. She cupped his face. “You say the sweetest words.” Her gaze dropped to his tempting lips. “When I’m with you, I feel like the luckiest woman, because you’re so gal-darned handsome it makes me breathless to look at you.”

  He lifted her closer and captured her mouth, kissing her fast and heady. Tingles coursed through her and became hotter by the second. She wrapped her arms around his neck, answering his passionate and very exciting kisses. Adam’s hands moved over her back and to her waist, before they caressed up to her neck. Her body burned wherever he touched.

  But before she could enjoy any more, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers.

  “Darling, we shouldn’t kiss like that.”

  “Why,” she asked in between ragged breaths.

  “Because I enjoy it too much.”

  “And that’s bad?”

  He chuckled and kissed just under her ear, sending warm shivers over her body.