by JA Low
“This year fucking sucks. Guess I need to work out what the hell I am doing with my life. I’m pretty sure Paris is the best place to start.”
One week later
“Open up you lazy fuck.”
The pounding on my bedroom door sends vibrations through my skull. “Fuck off Chris,” I shout, as I pull the pillow over my head trying to drown out the noise. My head is fucking killing me. This week has been hell; most of it has been spent staring at the bottom of a bourbon bottle.
“Open up or I will kick in the fucking door,” Christian yells again. Then silence as I hear muffled talking behind the door. Maybe he got the point. I don’t fucking want to be around anyone.
“See Christian, I told you the sliding doors would be open, you should have listened to me in the first place.” I hear Vanessa’s voice and it jolts me awake. How the fuck did she get in?
“Well, it would have been more dramatic if I kicked in the door. Walking in now seems like such a let down.” Why is Christian in my room?
“Fuck this place stinks, when was the last time you had a fucking shower, Evan.”
Pulling the pillow tighter over my head, I mumble, “Go away.”
“Fuck Ness, he is pathetic. Who knew Evan Wyld would be this cut up over some pussy?”
“Ouch. Fuck Ness that hurt.” I hear him grumble.
“That pussy is my best friend so fucking watch what you say, okay.”
“Bet she isn’t lying in bed all day, she’s probably having fun hanging out with hot French guys in Paris.”
Why the hell won’t he shut up? I don’t want to know what Sienna is doing and with who.
“From what I hear, Sienna spends most of her time sick. Derrick’s worried about her. She can’t seem to stop throwing up. She fainted the other day when they went out shopping, cut her head open on the cobblestones. Lucky she didn’t need stitches.”
That bit of information gets my attention. I slowly sit up in bed, my eyes trying to adjust to the bright light streaming in through the glass doors; the bastards have pulled open all the curtains.
“Is she okay?” I ask.
“Finally, sleeping beauty has awoken,” Christian jokes.
I flip him the bird, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
“No, she’s not, Evan and if you ever fucking loved her you would be flying your sorry ass over there and making it better. The both of you are as miserable as each other.”
I frown at her. “She humiliated me, Ness. I’m sure Beau is looking after her, she’s his problem now.”
A plastic water battle hits my chest. “Ouch. What the fuck Ness?”
“You fucking asshole. She never wanted Beau. Yes, she went about dealing with him the wrong way, she should have told you. But she didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. In all honesty, she never wanted to see him again but thought that maybe she needed closure so she could focus on the future she wanted with you. This whole tour she only had eyes for you but your ego is so massive that you can’t get over yourself long enough to remember what you had and that it wasn’t worth throwing away because of some stupid picture taken out of context,” Vanessa shouts, while standing in front of me with her hands on her hips.
“She betrayed me, Ness and I know she is your best friend so of course you are going to take her side.”
Vanessa let out a frustrated growl. “Believe what you want Evan, but she loves you.” She says as she storms off out of my room.
“She’s a scary woman,” Christian smiles, sitting on the bed beside me. “But dude, you need to get out of this room, you have missed meetings in regards to the label. We’re all just worried about you.”
“I know, I promise I’ll get my shit together.”
Christian smiles, slaps me on the back and nods in agreement.
***
Two Weeks Later
“Hey, Charlotte how are you going?” I answer my phone after a hard session at the gym.
“Great, I’m just getting ready to photograph Yvette’s show.”
I could hear the excitement in her voice; Charlotte was so worried after Sienna and I broke up that Sienna would kick her off the show, but apparently Sienna contacted Charlotte and told her that whatever happened between us had nothing to do with her and her ability to do a job. I know most women probably would have been a bitch to Charlotte to get some revenge on me, but Sienna wasn’t like that. Fuck, I miss her.
The last two weeks being apart from Sienna have been tough, especially the media attention. It’s been a blessing and a curse. I have been able to see pictures of her in Paris. Seeing how pale she was and that she had lost some weight made me feel sick, but how could I trust her after what she had done. I just keep reliving that photo of her and Beau over and over again.
“Evan, Evan, are you there?” Charlotte shouts down the phone.
I’d totally spaced out on her.
“Hey I have to go, but when you get a chance check your emails, I sent some pictures from the tour. Okay, I have to go, wish me luck.”
Axel has been impressed with Charlotte’s photography and asked if I would be okay if we hired her as our new in-house photographer for the label. Having my sister back in LA with me; shit yeah I was happy about that.
***
Christian had finally dragged me out of my cave to some party. It was your typical Hollywood party, packed full of celebrities, hangers-on, groupies, wannabes, socialites; you name it they were here. The thought of moving on from Sienna made me feel sick; this startling realization made me laugh at how pathetic I had become.
“What’s so funny?” A female voice asked, as I stood by the bar.
Turning towards the woman, who was gorgeous, her large over enhanced breasts were the first thing to grab my attention and the dress that barely covered her pert ass and legs. Her long, peroxide hair falling in waves down her back, her chocolate eyes looking at me with lust. She knew she was gorgeous and any other time she would have been my type, but not anymore. All I could see was a petite blonde with jade-green eyes and great tits.
“Just realizing that I’m not over someone,” I state, taking a sip of my beer.
“That Australian girl who cheated on you?” The blonde asked.
Of course she knew who I was. All I could do was nod in agreement.
Her hands skim my arm as she says, “I can help you get over her if you like?” Her glossy red lips puckering up for me.
“Thanks, but no.”
Genuine surprise crosses her face. I’m guessing she’s not used to men saying no to her.
“I could make you feel so good,” she continues, as her hand slips down to feel my crotch.
I seize her hand, pushing it away from me. “Like I said, no thanks.”
“That’s just sad, pining after a woman who doesn’t want you.”
Turning and giving her a murderous look, I shout, “You don’t know anything about me, I suggest you find someone else to bother.”
Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she walks away.
“Can I get a bourbon?” I ask the barman, who nods and walks away.
“Women like her are a dime a dozen in LA,” the barman mumbles.
Slamming back my drink I had to agree that none of them were Sienna.
It must have been a couple of hours that I sat at the bar hanging out with Tony, the barman, he listened to me complaining about Sienna. While he’s busy serving other patrons, I open up my emails to see what Charlotte has sent through. Clicking the email I see the gallery of pictures, she caught one of Sienna watching me on stage. That’s when I saw it; I saw the love that was radiating from her and the realization that I had fucked everything up because my pride was hurt. Maybe I could fix this; maybe we could make this work.
There was a second email from Charlotte, the subject line written in capitals.
READ THIS!!!!!!!!
It got my attention.
Evan, I spoke to a photographer friend and asked about photos from the day Sienna met with Bea
u and they sent me this. Thought you should look at them, you might find it interesting.
Love you, Char xoxoxo
Opening up the photo gallery, pictures of Sienna and Beau flash at me. They are from every moment of that that day; frame by frame; from the time she arrived until the time she left. Sienna didn’t look happy when she entered, her arms crossed in front of her, Beau’s face had a large smile plastered across it but Sienna didn’t seem impressed. Then the next set was of her leaving; it showed her walking out first with a scowl on her face. Then Beau’s hand grabbing her arm and turning her around. The look of shock written all over her face; followed by the pictures of that kiss.
I can see it clearly now, she doesn’t seem like she is enjoying it at all. I see her hand coming up and slapping Beau’s cheek. The shock on his face as he takes it. She looks like she is screaming at him, waving her finger in his face then she turns on her heel and leaves. Beau slumps against the door, tears in his eyes as he watches Sienna walk out of his life. Fuck, I got it wrong. I rub my hand over my head in frustration. She was telling the truth; I should have listened.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! I frantically reach for my phone to send her a text, the first one in two weeks.
Evan: I’m sorry Sienna. I’m coming for you. Please forgive me.
Would she want to talk to me again? Have I blown it for good? Fuck, I still love her. Leaving a generous tip for Tony I make my way from the bar. I have to get to Paris. I need to get my girl back.
“I had such a great night, thanks for talking me into coming,” I smile at Derrick. Yvette’s show was a success. Sitting there in the front row watching the beautiful designs go down the runway was exciting. I was so happy for her.
“I’m glad you are feeling better, you had me worried there for a second,” Derrick declares, putting his arm around me as we moved through the crowd making our way backstage to congratulate Yvette. I smiled as I saw Charlotte running around taking photos. I’m happy I was able to help her with this. The photos she took while on tour were fantastic.
There was a break in the crowd, and Yvette waved us through.
“Congratulations,” I greet, giving her a kiss on each cheek.
“Thank you so much. The reaction has been crazy.”
“Some of those dresses are going to be on the Hollywood red carpet this season,” Derrick smiles.
I can see the pride in Yvette’s face. She has done such an amazing job. It’s not long before someone else grabs her attention and she’s off again. I’m sure we will catch up at the after party, I think to myself as I make my way over to where Charlotte was.
“How did it go?” I ask her, her blue eyes reminding me so much of her brothers, it hurt.
She pulls me into a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she squeals, excitedly.
Charlotte naturally was on her brother’s side but when she asked if she still had the job with Yvette and I told her, of course, she melted a little more towards me. I would never hold something like that against her.
“Spoke to Evan earlier,” she mentions, her eyes trying to gauge my reaction.
“Yeah, how is he?” I ask, plastering on a smile.
“Good. He was off on his way to some party tonight.”
My stomach sinks. He’s a single guy again, of course he can do what or whoever he wants.
“Oh well, I’m sure he will have fun.”
Derrick made a choking sound beside me while Charlotte frowned at me. “You can be upset.”
Shaking my head at her, I replied, “No, I can’t. We broke up, he is a single guy.” But the thought of him taking someone else home makes me nauseous.
“Well I’m hoping he checks his emails in time because I sent him something that he might find interesting,” Charlotte continued, with a big grin on her face.
“What did you send him?” I ask, worry curling around my stomach.
“I may have made a couple of calls to some photographer friends and found the sequence of photos from that day, between you and Beau, showing everything that happened. It showed you slapping your ex.”
Covering my mouth with shock, I couldn’t believe Charlotte did that. “Why?”
“Because my brother is miserable and because something didn’t seem right. The last couple of months I watched you and Evan together, you were different to all the others. You loved him. I know you did, and maybe still do. I just wanted to know that you were telling the truth so I could maybe help you to get back together.”
Tears build in my eyes. “Thank you, Charlotte, but I think your brother and I just had a great summer romance.”
Shaking her head, she disagreed. “Just you wait, when he sees those photos he will realize.”
I love that she has such faith in me and that this will change what has happened between her brother and I, but I know it won’t.
“I’m going to head home, think I’ll skip the after party, just not feeling well,” I announce.
Derrick looks at me and says, “I’ll come with you.”
“No D, stay and have fun, I’ll grab a taxi, I’m just too tired.”
I give him and Charlotte a hug before I head out the front and jump into a cab.
There was banging on my bedroom door; what is it with my friends and their need to bash my door down? They didn’t even wait for me to get out of bed to answer it before barging in. Christian had a funny look on his face.
“You alright, Chris? It’s a bit early for you to be busting my door down,” I comment, while I watch him shake his head.
“There’s been an accident, Evan.”
My stomach sinks, my mind fills with dread. “Who, who is it?” I can see Christian take a moment before he continues.
“It’s Sienna, her taxi was hit by a drunk driver”
My world stops. No! No fucking way. I jump out of bed in a panic throwing on some clothes.
“She’s alive, Evan, she’s alive” Christian quickly adds. “But I think she is pretty banged up, broken bones and shit. Vanessa is getting ready to fly to Paris, did you want to go?”
Frowning at my friend “Of course I want to go” Rubbing my hand over my head “I should have been there.” I called Kane our pilot last night to organise the plane but we gave him time off after the tour to be with his family otherwise I would be half way over the Atlantic now. “I booked myself on the first flight out of LAX for today. Fuck! I should have been there, Chris”
Christian puts a hand on my shoulder “You will be. Isla is getting the plane organised. I think some of the boys are coming along. Is that okay?”
I nod because I’m not thinking clearly at the moment I don’t care who comes for a free ride to Paris as long as I am on that fucking plane that is all that matters.
“I love her man, I fucking love her”
“Yeah I know” Christian sadly smiles at me as he leaves me alone in my room.
“Sienna I’m coming for you, baby.” Grabbing a bag and stuffing my shit into it. A pair of Sienna’s underwear she returned to me in London falls out of the box sitting in my closet, my stomach sinks, I fucked up, I need to make it right. My girl needs to be with me. Picking up my phone I call Charlotte, I need to know if Sienna is ok, it rings out. I try again and finally she picks up. “Char, I just heard about Sienna. Tell me is she okay?” There is crying on the other end of the phone.
“It’s my fault, I upset her. She wouldn’t have left the show if I had just kept my big fat mouth shut. I was trying to help.”
“Sweetheart, no, from what I hear it was an accident don’t blame yourself.”
More sniffling. “I told her I sent you the photos, she didn’t believe me that you would forgive her.” She cried into the phone, sounding heartbroken.
“I got the pictures Charlotte, and I’m on my way. I’m coming to get her.”
More crying on the other side of the phone. “You are? Oh my God, Evan. I haven’t seen her yet, not sure how bad she is. Hurry okay.”
“Isla’s getting the je
t ready I’ll be there as soon as I can okay.”
Charlotte’s sniffling stops. “Okay, Evan”
I hang up the phone, throw some shit into a bag, grab my toiletries from the bathroom and race up the stairs to where Christian and Vanessa are. Vanessa’s crying and Chris is comforting her; her red eyes look at me as she walks across the room and pulls me into a hug.
“I can’t lose her, Ness; I can’t. I fucked up.” I feel my tears flowing for the first time as I hold Vanessa tight against me.
“Don’t worry, Evan you’ll get a second chance with her, I’m sure of it.”
Sammy arrives and announces that the car is ready and it’s time to head to the airport. It is going to take us nearly half a day to get to Paris. Vanessa, Christian, Chance and Blake from Sons of Brooklyn are all coming with me. To say I was happy with Blake coming was an understatement but he said he was worried for Sienna and thought he could be of some support to Charlotte as I would be busy with Sienna. The kid had a point, but still I didn’t like it, and Chance, not sure why he is coming. I guess he had nothing to do and a free trip to Paris seems like a good idea. Trying to keep myself busy was hard. Every single time I fell asleep I would dream of Sienna in some mangled wreck of a car.
“Here have this,” Christian says, handing me some bourbon. “It will calm you down.”
“What if I’ve lost her, Chris,” I almost sob, my heart racing with the realization that she might not want me anymore.
“You haven’t lost her, she is alive; you are going to get her back.”
“What happens if she doesn’t want me? I was a dick to her. I left her in London; I said things that I can’t take back.”
Squeezing my shoulder, he gives me his advice. “You grovel, man. You do whatever you have to do to get her back. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it will happen.”
I hope Christian is right because knowing I might have lost the woman I love, the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, it is tearing me apart. Two weeks without her in my life and it’s been torture. I don’t want to ever feel that way again. No way in the world.