by JA Low
The flight continues as we all try to distract ourselves from the reason we are traveling to Paris. The boys and I managed some writing. Annoying as this is to say, but Blake is a damn good songwriter. They worked on their second album and were having problems with it, so Christian and I helped them tweak it. Keeping our minds occupied, it wasn’t long until we were touching down in Paris and rushing to see Sienna at the hospital.
***
Derrick and Charlotte stood outside of Sienna’s hospital room, looking like they hadn’t slept in days. Looking up from their hushed whispers, seeing us for the first time, Derrick runs towards Vanessa and embraces her. Charlotte run towards me, and fuck, I am so happy to see her. Then I see Sebastien walking back with some coffee. What the fuck is he doing here? Calm down, Evan they are friends.
I turn towards Derrick and ask, “How is she?”
His tone is a little frosty towards me, but he replies, “The doctors are just talking to her. She is lucky.”
Fuck, if he isn’t happy to see me then maybe Sienna isn’t either. Doesn’t matter, I am here now and I will make sure she sees that I’m not going anywhere, not until she is mine again.
“Thanks for coming.” Derrick’s eyes look over my shoulder and widen in surprise. Turning to see who has caught his attention I see Chance who is standing away from everyone looking rather awkward with his hands in his pockets. Derrick moves away from the group towards him giving Chance a shy smile. Looking at each other, they embrace in a hug. I see Derrick visibly relax in his arms. I turn to Christian with a questioning look. Chris just shrugs but I see Vanessa has a huge smile on her face. Maybe something is going on between Chance and Derrick? Nah that kid is straight.
Looking over to where Charlotte is sitting with Blake, he has her hands in his as they whisper to each other. Maybe I’m wrong about Blake; he seems like a bit of a playboy but yet jumped on a plane to see Charlotte, to be there for her, knowing that I am not a fan. Maybe I need to leave those two alone to sort whatever it is that is going on between them. Shit, am I mellowing out in my old age?
“She’s going to be okay,” Sebastien says, giving me a smile. The last time I saw him, I was threatening to pummel his face into the ground.
“I hope so,” I say.
“She will be happy to see you,” Sebastien adds.
“I don’t think so,” I reply, as I shrug my shoulders. I don’t really want to be talking to him about Sienna and me.
“She loves you; the rest will sort itself out,” he states, matter-of-factly.
Then the doors to Sienna’s room open, the doctor and nurses file out. Their eyes widen when they see us all sitting in the waiting room. I can see a couple of the nurses getting excited as they realize who we are as their eyes look us over; we must look like a sight. Big, bulky, tattooed guys and one Spanish hunk.
“Who is Derrick?” The doctor asks.
Derrick steps forward. “You can go in, only you for the moment,” The doctor announces.
My heart is pounding, shit!
“Miss Hayes, we have received your blood work, did you know that you are pregnant?” The doctor states, in broken English. I had Yvette beside me to help translate as my French was not up to scratch in terms of medical talk.
I look at him blankly, excuse me what the hell did he just say?
“You are ten weeks pregnant. Now you have the cast on your arm we would like to take you in for an ultrasound.”
Am I hearing the doctor’s words correctly? How the hell did this happen? Well I know how it happened, but I was careful, we were careful.
“This must come as a shock, did you not know?” One of the nurses asks, as I haven’t responded yet.
“No, I didn’t know. I got my period last month.”
I shake my head in disbelief because it all made sense now. That is why I have been so sick. I’m pregnant, it wasn’t because Evan broke my heart. Instead, he gave me a baby. Shit!
I can feel Yvette’s hand on mine letting me know it was going to be okay.
“Some bleeding can occur during implantation; it’s common.”
“But I didn’t know. I have been drinking. Shit is my baby going to be okay?” Panic was setting in as I realize the severity of the situation.
“We have arranged for an ultrasound later today, we will know more then.” The doctor advised. “Anything else Miss Hayes?” He asks.
“No thank you, um … can you just ask Derrick to come in, please.”
The nurses nod and walk out the door. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Evan is going to think I’ve done this on purpose to trap him. He will probably think it’s Beau’s. Shit, I’m going to be a single Mum. I could hear the beeping of the machine with each thought racing through my mind.
“Calm down, Sienna it’s going to be okay,” Yvette says, stroking my hair.
“Hey, Princess,” Derrick smiles, as he enters the room.
I burst into tears.
Derrick pulls me into his arms hugging me tight which hurt a little. “Sisi , what happened? What did the doctors say? It can’t be that bad.”
I tried to get the words out of my mouth but each time I try, they get stuck.
“Vanessa’s here, sweetie, she’s waiting outside.”
I stop for a moment. Vanessa is here? I’m sure she will know what to do.
“Quick, let her in, I need to see her. There is something I have to tell you both. But please make sure Charlotte doesn’t come in, she can’t know, not yet.”
Derrick frowns, walks to the door and signals Vanessa to come into the room.
The look of worry on her face made me burst into tears again – damn hormones. She wraps her arms around my sore body.
“So happy to see you, Sisi,” she greets me with tears, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
She moves my face from side to side inspecting me. “Shit, look at your face, all these bruises.”
I have no idea what I look like. I haven’t seen a mirror in 24 hours.
“The doctors told me something and I am freaking out.”
Derrick and Vanessa sit on either side of me on the bed. Each taking one of my hands into theirs waiting for me to continue.
“I’m pregnant.”
They both look at me; neither of them say a word. In the silence my heart monitor starts to go crazy with my panic.
“Shit, calm down Sienna, you’ll have a heart attack,” Derrick says.
“Fuck, Sisi, Evan’s outside.”
My world freezes. What the hell was he doing here? I don’t understand.
“I can’t see him.” I say freaking out again, the machine beeping uncontrollably.
“Calm down Sisi, you don’t have to see him. Not until you are ready, okay.” Vanessa says.
I nod at her as I get my heart rate back down to normal.
“I’m ten weeks, how the hell did I not know I was fucking pregnant? I had my period and everything.”
“Now I understand why you were sick. All that time you had morning sickness,” Derrick smiles. “You’re going to have to tell him Sisi,” Vanessa says, taking my hand.
“I know, but not yet. I don’t get why he is here?”
“Did you hit your head in the accident as well, because why the hell do you think he is here?”
“He’s been a mess, Sienna. The whole plane ride he has been worried about you.” She added.
Shaking my head, I state, “I can’t see him, not today, not until I have processed what has happened. Not until I know everything is okay with the baby.”
Derrick and Vanessa look at each other and I can tell they are not happy with my decision.
“Christian, Blake and Chance are here as well.”
Raising my eyebrows, I question, “Chance,” directing it to Derrick.
He nods and adds, “Not sure what that is about but I’m happy to see him.”
Vanessa and I smile at Derrick.
“I think maybe he might care about you D,” I say.
Derrick just shrugs.
“You’re in the city of love anything can happen,” I remind him. “Tomorrow spend the day with Chance, okay.”
Derrick frowns at me. “I’m not leaving you.”
I shake my head at him. “I’ll be okay, please promise; tomorrow is going to be crazy for me speaking to Evan. Have fun, one of us should.”
Waving his hands dramatically at me he nods and finally agrees.
“She is probably in shock, Evan.” Charlotte tries to explain why Sienna didn’t want to see me. Vanessa and Derrick both couldn’t meet my eyes when they stepped out of her room ushering everyone back to the hotel. I’m so confused; I thought she would want to see me? Shit, maybe she’s disfigured and doesn’t think I will love her? No way in the world would that happen.
“Or maybe she is just dosed up on drugs and isn’t thinking clearly?” Blake adds.
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I don’t know what to think anymore. I hate being this close to her and not being able to touch her.
***
Sienna has tests for most of the day and it’s non-visiting hours so we are hanging around at the hotel.
“Why don’t you guys go out, I’m just going to hang here,” I tell Charlotte and Blake.
Charlotte gives me a frown. “I’m not leaving you, Evan.”
“I’m okay Char. Honestly, I want to be alone.”
“I could kill for a croissant,” Blake adds, grabbing Charlotte’s attention.
“Fine, but I will be back later to check on you, okay?”
Finally, I was alone sitting in the living room staring off over the rooftops of Pairs thinking about Sienna and how close I came to losing her. After a couple of beers, I realize she needs to see me. Sienna needs to know that I am here for her. Grabbing my wallet I head out, passing Sammy, my bodyguard, on the way. “I’m going back to the hospital, can you take me?” He nods and we make our way down to the lobby.
Non visiting hours were just about over by the time I got to the hospital and approached Sienna’s room. I see a nurse step out of her room.
“Can I see her?” I ask.
The young nurse’s eyes widen when she sees who is asking the question.
“Of course,” she smiles, looking a little flustered.
I open the door and see Sienna resting in bed looking fragile and pale; she hasn’t noticed me yet. I can see the white cast around her left arm. Her beautiful face marked with blue and black bruising from the accident. She’s staring at a white piece of paper lost in her thoughts. I move further into her room hoping she will notice me.
“Evan,” she gasps, dropping the piece of paper, panicking as the paper flutters to the ground. The machine behind her starts to beep uncontrollably as she tries to manoeuvre herself out of her bed to get the piece of paper.
“Sienna, don’t move, let me get it,” I offer, as I rush forward towards the paper.
“Evan, no,” Sienna screams.
Ignoring her, I bend down and pick it up. Looking at that piece of paper, my heart starts to thump, my world tilting on its axis. The grainy black and white image of a jelly bean tells me Sienna is pregnant.
“Evan,” Sienna whispers.
Looking up at Sienna I see her tears falling down her face, my stomach sinking. She is pregnant.
“I just found out, Evan. I was going to tell you. I just didn’t know how as I’m shocked myself with the news. That’s why I couldn’t see you today.”
Fuck, my whole world is spinning.
“Is it mine?” I question, looking down at the piece of paper, my finger touching the little jelly bean.
“How fucking dare you,” Sienna spits at me.
Her tone pulls me away from my thoughts; her face is red with anger. Fuck, I just said the wrong thing. “No, that’s not what I meant, Sienna,” I say, rubbing my head as the shock sets in. I’m going to be a dad. “You caught me off guard.”
“Yeah, well I’m in fucking shock as well, Evan. I woke up from a car accident and have been told that I am pregnant to my ex. I had no fucking idea; remember I got my period? I’ve even been drinking,” she yells in panic. I can see the fear on her face. The medical machine she is attached to lights up; its musical notes beeping at Sienna’s distress.
Moving closer to her now, I ask, “Is the baby okay?”
“The doctors think so. They want to keep an eye on me for the next couple of days. They want weekly check-ups for the next couple of weeks until I pass the three-month mark.”
I can’t believe this is happening, I’ve come back to win the love of my life and find out I am going to be a father; that we are going to be a family. I am so happy my heart is about to burst right out of my chest. Everything I have ever wanted is staring back at me.
“I promise I will keep you up to date with all the baby scans and you can visit the baby anytime you want.”
Huh, what is she talking about? I won’t need to visit the child because they will be with me, together in our house. “I’m not going to be an absentee father, Sienna. I missed our baby’s first scan; I won’t be missing anymore.”
“But, Evan, that is going to be hard when I live here in Paris and you live in LA.”
My heart is racing looking at the scan again. “Nothing hard about it, sweetheart. We will get married, we will become a family. I will buy us a beautiful house near the beach to live in. All our friends will come over; we will have an enormous number of babysitters to help us out. Plus my family is in Texas so they can fly in anytime we need help or we can fly your parents over if you want.”
Sienna looks pained by my declaration. “No,” she shouts.
“What do you mean no?” I look at her confused. “I am going to be in both of your lives for a very long time. The sooner you catch up and come on board to the plan the easier it will be.”
The machine goes off again.
“Get out, get the fuck out, Evan,” Sienna screams at me.
“How dare you come back into my life like this after two weeks of no contact. You kicked me out of your room in London like I was just some trash. How dare you come back here and demand all these things from me.”
The nurses file into the room trying to calm Sienna down.
“Just leave me alone, Evan,” she finally says, the nurses escorting me out of the room.
***
“Fuck man, you’re having a baby,” Christian says, handing me a beer as we sit in the living room of my hotel suite. I fucking needed a drink. All I could do was stare at the picture of the little bean, my little bean.
“I fucked up with Sienna, man. I told her we were going to get married and be a family; that she was going to live in LA with me. I thought we wanted the same things.”
“Seriously, are you fucking stupid?” Derrick sneers, as he walks into the room. How the hell did he get in? The rest of the crew follow behind, Charlotte, Blake, Vanessa, Chance.
“I’m going to be an aunty?” Charlotte screams, grabbing the scan out of my hand staring at it. The room erupts into loud cheers as everyone speaks about the baby.
“I can’t believe after everything you put her through, Evan, you would demand those things,” Derrick adds.
“What I put her through? She’s the one that was caught with her ex. Not me,” I scream at Derrick.
“You’re still going on about that. Sienna could have died and you’re still going on about how your damn fucking egos bruised.”
“Derrick, back the fuck off my bro, man. That’s not cool,” Christian says, beside me.
“No, Christian, he broke her heart. She was heartbroken when he threw her out of his room that day as if she was nothing. She loved you, Evan; she loved you so fucking much and wanted to put her past to rest so you could build a future together. Instead, you kicked her out; then probably went on to fuck a million groupies just to make yourself feel better. Sienna couldn’t function Evan, she was heartbroken over you,” Derrick bellows, his chest heaving as he defends his best friend.
I get it, I fucked
up again.
Derrick was so pissed, that Chance got up and removed him from the room.
“He’s protective of her, Evan,” Vanessa adds. “We all are.”
Looking up at Vanessa, I mumble, “I’ve fucked everything up. I’ve lost her haven’t I?”
Vanessa shakes her head. “No you haven’t, but walking in demanding she marry you, become a family and move to LA was probably not the way to say sorry or to tell her you still love her, was it?”
Fuck she’s right. “I was in shock, Ness. I mean I panicked.”
Giving me a pat on the arm, she says, “I know Evan, but Sienna was just as freaked out as you. She was upset this afternoon finding out about the baby. She keeps thinking maybe she hurt it. She feels incredibly guilty that she didn’t know she was pregnant. So you know what, tread carefully for a while. I’m sure the shock of the baby and the shock of seeing you in Paris after everything might be too much for her to handle at the moment.”
Vanessa’s right, I’ll give her some time. But I’m going to show Sienna that the future I saw when we met is worth fighting for, I won’t give up.
A week later I was back in the hospital for my next scan. Evan is meeting me at the hospital to accompany me. I couldn’t let him miss another scan, it wasn’t fair to him or the baby. I would just have to get used to being around Evan again. After my break down in hospital, he’s been keeping his distance giving me the time I need to process everything that has happened.
Evan has organized a suite at a hotel for me to live in, with a nurse on call. Vanessa persuaded me to take Evan up on his offer, saying he just wanted to help, that he cares and wants what is best for the baby and me. Being confined to bed sucks, being in a luxurious hotel with views of the Eiffel Tower made it bearable. Each day Evan sends vases of flowers to my room. They arrive at the same time every day. They are beautiful. It really is generous of him.
“Hey, sorry I’m late traffic was crazy. Paris is so much worse than LA,” he says giving me a smile, flashing those killer dimples. Fuck! I hated how he affected me. All week I have been having these crazy sex dreams about him, stupid hormones making me horny. It’s just not fair. Thankfully the doctor called us in before I could say anything embarrassing. The doctor checks me over physically then asks for me to jump up onto the table and roll my pants down exposing my belly. Squirting a cold gel onto my stomach, he moves the wand around until he finds the baby. As we look onto the screen, jelly bean appears and moments later we can hear the heartbeat.