Pandemonium

by Warren Fahy

  “There ya go!” Bo said. “Not bad, eh, Kuzu?” Bo tried to give Kuzu a high five.

  But the large sel looked intently at the screen with one eye as he reached out with two unfolding arms. “Bishop takes pawn, checkmate; queen takes knight.” Kuzu exchanged pieces on Andy’s and Bo’s chessboards. He loved playing Andy, who lost with great melodrama.

  “Oh, crap!” Andy shriveled. “I’m never playing this goddamned game again!”

  Kuzu honked with pleasure.

  “Oh, jeez,” Bo groaned as his own predicament dawned on him.

  Hender scooped three handfuls of Joe’s fresh batch of popcorn and finally strode forward. “Red pawn takes knight,” he piped softly. “Check, Kuzu.” He climbed over the back of the sofa to sit between Kuzu and Andy.

  Kuzu’s fur flashed yellow sparks as he twisted his head and glared at Hender’s pawn standing where his knight had stood. Kuzu won at chess 80 percent of the time—except when he played Hender, who won 50 percent of the time. Hender hated chess 100 percent of the time.

  Nid pointed at the TV screen as Cynthea’s voice intoned: “This is Moodaydle Nid, the orange sel, a musician. He recently released a single of a traditional melody passed down through his family for six million years.”

  They heard a clip of the song that sounded like echoes of wind.

  “Nid is 16,511 years old.”

  “Wooo-hooo!” Nid warbled.

  The hendros applauded to see Plesh, the artist among them, wave paintbrushes at the camera, followed by Mai, the doctor, who worked in the lab with the human scientists testing foods for sel allergies.

  “All of the sels have become rich overnight with deals to use their images for product endorsements around the world. But they have few ways to spend their newfound wealth, since they cannot leave the place where they have been hidden.”

  “When leave, Andy?” Mai said irritably.

  “When go?” Nid pressed.

  “Why not now?” Kuzu growled, vibrating the air as he moved his queen. “Checkmate, Bo.”

  “Damn!” Bo said, stung by Kuzu’s board-traversing gambit. “I never should have taught you this fricking game, Kuzu. You like it too much.”

  As the documentary came to a close, Cynthea urged viewers to write to their representatives and petition for the sels’ freedom. Then she pitched a sel plush toy, some of the proceeds from which would go to a nonprofit organization called Save the Sels.

  “Oh, my God,” Andy choked. “Sell the sels is more like it!”

  Hender reached out to move his rook: “Checkmate, Kuzu,” he said softly.

  The birdsong doorbell Hender had purchased from the Sharper Image catalog trilled a lark call as Kuzu glared at Hender.

  Joe and Bo opened the door a crack. After a moment, Bo called, “Uh, some folks are here with some news for us. Should I let them in?”

  “How many?” Hender asked.

  “Two.”

  Hender looked at the others and, after some haggling, waved them in.

  A man and a woman in dark-blue suits entered the room, visibly trying to suppress their bulging eyes as they saw the sels. The usual condescending friendliness they got from visiting officials was noticeably absent this time, however. These visitors cut straight to the point.

  “I’m Special Agent Jane Wright, and this is Special Agent Mike Kalajian, of the Central Intelligence Agency,” said a sharp-eyed, short-haired woman. “It’s a great honor to meet you—the greatest honor in my life, actually. I think I speak for Agent Kalajian, as well. We have very good news for you,” Agent Wright said.

  “Well,” Agent Kalajian said. “Hender, you have officially been invited on a trip to London. And we really think that it’s a good idea for you to go.”

  The two agents stared in wonder at the five hendros. For their part, the hendros gave them credit for not fainting, which a lot of humans did upon meeting them.

  “Go on,” Hender said.

  Agent Wright reeled to hear him answer her. She gulped and continued. “You will be representing all of the sels, Hender.”

  “Representing?” Hender asked. “What does that word mean again?”

  “Um,” said Jane Wright, glancing at her partner. “It means that you will be able to speak for the other sels to human leaders, who speak for humans.”

  “Hender will speak for us?” Nid said.

  “Yes,” Agent Kalajian said.

  “How?” Mai complained, confused.

  “Hate represent!” Kuzu rumbled, crossing four arms, his fur flushing purple, red, and yellow streaks.

  The large brow wedges over Hender’s eyes, which were actually ears, pointed down between his eyes, an expression Andy recognized as distress.

  “Why not all go?” Kuzu’s voice exploded in the room, taking everyone aback.

  Jane looked at her colleague in fear, then at Andy. “Humans are being careful, Kuzu,” she said softly.

  “Will you come with me, Andy?” Hender asked.

  “Well—sure, Hender.” Andy looked at the agents. “Right?”

  Agent Kalajian looked at his partner and nodded. “Absolutely!”

  “Why not us?” Kuzu’s rumbling baritone rattled their bones. Four of the large sel’s formidable arms opened twelve feet as he spread twenty fingers in the air.

  Jane Wright somehow squeezed out her reply: “Because humans are afraid of you.”

  “One step at a time,” Andy said calmly. “OK, Kuzu?”

  The warrior sel regarded Andy with one eye as he glared at Hender with his other. “They think we are spigers, Shueenair,”

  “We have to show we are not,” Hender said.

  The two sels shared a challenging look that ended in a stalemate.

  The other sels asked Hender questions in their own languages mixed with English, and Hender summoned them now to the nose of the fake B-29 to confer.

  “They’re going stir-crazy here, man!” Andy whispered.

  “Yeah,” Joe agreed.

  “So is this some kind of audition now?” Andy glared at the government agents. “Hender is to be displayed to everybody so they can decide whether or not to grant him some rights?”

  “In a way.” Agent Wright nodded frankly. “It’s not an inaccurate way to put it.”

  “Well, that’s pretty shitty,” Bo said, frowning.

  “Look,” Andy said, “Bo, Joe, and I pulled off a miracle getting them out of their homes at the same time to watch this video. The only reason they did it was that we promised them there would be news about getting out of here.”

  “We know,” Agent Kalajian said. “And that’s why we came to deliver the news in person. They will get to leave, eventually, I think. But we think it’s a good idea for Hender to start breaking the ice first.”

  “They’re developing obsessive behavioral routines like animals in a zoo,” Andy said. He pointed at the coffee table. “Mai’s taken apart and put together that wristwatch seven times. Kuzu and Nid are hooked on chess and video games. We have to do something or they’ll go nuts in here. Not to mention the rest of us.”

  “I know, Dr. Beasley,” Jane Wright said. “We’ve been instructed to let you know that Geoffrey also obtained permission to give the sels unrestricted Internet access, if that’s any consolation.”

  Andy’s eyes popped wide. Then he pumped his fist, jumping up. “Awesome! Why didn’t you say so?”

  Agent Wright looked at her partner, puzzled.

  “Oh, my God, you can’t imagine how big that is! They ask me questions night and day, and if I get an answer wrong … Google and Wikipedia are going to save my life! Someone else can be wrong now. Hey, you guys!” Andy shouted. “You have Internet!”

  The sels flamed colors as they heard the news at the nose of the fake aircraft. None of them even waved good-bye as they rowed six, four, or two of their legs out the door in single file and shot over the rope bridges slung between their tree houses so that they could access the Internet through their personal computers. Even Hen
der hurried upstairs to his office without comment, as if he were racing the others.

  The humans looked at one another. Bo shook his head. “They’ll thank us later.”

  “I wonder what they’ll think of porn,” Joe said.

  “Yuck,” said Jane Wright. “Yikes.”

  “Yep.” Andy nodded. “That’s probably what they’ll think.…”

  “We’ll never see them again now,” Bo said.

  “OK, guys,” Kalajian said. “There’s another reason why we’re here.”

  “It’s better that the hendros aren’t here to hear it,” Jane Wright said.

  “Nell and Geoffrey Binswanger never made it to their honeymoon destination. They haven’t been seen or heard from since the night before they missed their flight.”

  “What?” cried Andy.

  “What happened to them?” asked Bo.

  “We don’t know.”

  “I thought you were watching them!” Joe said.

  “They gave the Secret Service the slip at Woods Hole.” Wright shrugged.

  “We heard from Nell the night before their trip to Hawaii,” Andy said. “She talked to all of us! Nothing seemed wrong.…”

  The two agents looked at each other. “That was after we lost contact,” Kalajian said.

  “There’s more,” Wright said. “Two other scientists who were on Henders Island before it was sterilized have also been reported missing in the last few days. We’re not sure if there is a connection.”

  “Please treat that information as confidential,” Kalajian said.

  “And let us know immediately if you hear from either of them,” said Wright.

  “What are you going to do?” Andy asked.

  The agents shared a dark look.

  “We’re monitoring the situation,” Wright said. “We’ll let you know as soon as we find anything out.”

  “They might just be dodging everyone for their honeymoon,” Agent Kalajian said. “We just have to wait until we have more information.”

  Andy glanced at Bo and Joe.

  “Some diplomatic advisors will contact you about Hender’s trip to London,” Wright said.

  “Yeah,” Andy said. “Thank you.”

  “Can he be ready to leave in two days?”

  “Huh?” Andy asked.

  “Cowboy up, Andy,” Bo said.

  “Yeah, you’ve got to do it, man,” Joe said. “So we can all get the hell out of here.”

  Andy sighed. “I’ll talk to Hender.”

  “Good. Here’s my information,” Wright handed Andy her card. “Let us know if you need anything or hear anything from Nell or Geoffrey.”

  “OK, will do,” Bo said.

  The agents left, and they all looked at one another. “Why would the CIA—?” began Bo.

  “I know,” Joe said. “It’s weird. What the hell’s going on?”

  7:13 P.M.

  Hender Google Image–searched the word crowd. He rolled the scroll wheel of his mouse with his middle finger through image after image of human hordes filling stadiums, city squares, fields, malls, freeways, subways, streets, beaches, and even a desert where thousands of humans watched a towering structure shaped like a human burning.

  Hender had met hundreds of people in the last months, but only one or two at a time, and each only briefly, never getting to know any of them well.

  The hendros considered every person, whether hendro or human, to be waku. The word meant “jungle” in a language so ancient that all the sels still used it. The word also referred to any relationship with an intelligent being, which, like a jungle, was full of danger before it was carefully mapped. Meeting more than one person at a time was a harrowing concept. Large groups were simply unthinkable to them.

  As Hender scanned images of outdoor concerts, political rallies, religious pilgrimages, and sporting events teeming with masses of humanity, he strained to control his breathing and cool the colors burning in his rising fur.

  MARCH 18

  8:17 A.M. MAXIM TIME

  Nell closed her eyes as she felt the three glorious showerheads douse her body with jets of hot water. The last two days had been spent peering through Stalin’s window into Pandemonium. She was in heaven peering into hell, where each discovery was a revelation.

  As she watched the suds spiral down her leg now, her soapy eyes and groggy sense memory suddenly formed the image of a Henders Island disk-ant emerging from the drain next to her big toe. She screamed and jumped two feet against the shower stall as the vision rattled her nervous system like an electric shock.

  She shook, naked in the corner of the stall, as she looked down dumbly at the drain, wiping the soap from her eyes as nothing but foam circled the drain. Geoffrey opened the shower door and rushed in, embracing her with his clothes on under the water. He looked at the drain where she pointed and saw nothing, stroking her head. “It’s OK!”

  She tried to breathe. “I thought I saw a disk-ant. Coming out of the drain!” She sobbed.

  “It’s OK!” he repeated. “We’re not on Henders Island. It’s OK!”

  She nodded. “OK,” she breathed, feeling calmer in his arms. “Damn. I’m sorry!”

  “No problem…”

  “Geoffrey?”

  “Yes?”

  “We still need to make a call outside to let people know where we are.”

  “You’re right. I’ll remind Maxim first thing. It’s been easy to forget the past couple days.”

  “I know, but people will start to worry. We need to do it right away.”

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  “Thanks.” She hugged him, closing her eyes.

  8:59 A.M.

  Maxim himself waited for them this morning at the curb in front of their honeymoon cottage. He greeted them beside two limousines, one black and one white, offering Nell a bouquet of a dozen fresh roses.

  “Nice!” She smelled them. “They’re fresh?”

  “Grown right here in Pobedograd,” Maxim said.

  “Really? I’ll set them on the stoop for later. Thank you!”

  Geoffrey noticed that the air was quite smoggy this morning, having accumulated the exhaust of hundreds of vehicles and generators. Despite Maxim’s guarantee that the power plant would be on, the city was no brighter than the “night” before. “Another day in paradise, eh?” Geoffrey said, gently ribbing the tycoon as he waved the air.

  “Power will soon be on,” Maxim grumbled, rankled by the dig. But he soon recovered his joviality as he reached into his jacket. “I neglected to give you your payments. For you, my dear, and for you.” Maxim handed them both envelopes.

  “Not really two million dollars?” Nell said.

  “Each.” Maxim nodded. “As promised.”

  “Wow!” Geoffrey whispered.

  “Thank you, Maxim,” Nell said.

  “It’s nothing. Especially after taxes.”

  “Maxim, before I forget again,” Geoffrey said. “We need to make calls outside to let people know we’re OK.”

  “Of course!” Maxim laughed. “With so much excitement, it simply slipped my mind. You may both make as many calls as you like back at the conservatory. But I need both of you this morning, if you don’t mind a slight delay. I was hoping you will come with me to activate the power plant, Geoffrey. As well as bringing day to night, and starting the city’s much-needed ventilation system, the power plant will charge a whole fleet of electric cars, which will finally clear up our smog problem.”

  Maxim’s daughter, Sasha, jumped out of the white limo dressed all in white, matching her cheerful dog. “I hope so, Papa!” she shouted, running toward him. She jumped up to kiss his beard as he bent down. “Because this place stinks! Don’t you think so, Nell?”

  “I hope you don’t mind,” Maxim said. “But I told Sasha she could go along with you on a tour of the farm. I would very much appreciate your opinion, as a botanist, Nell.”

  Nell nodded, glancing at Geoffrey. “Sounds interesting!”

 
“Don’t worry about Geoffrey. We will get him back to Hell’s Window by lunchtime,” Maxim said. “Then you may make as many phone calls as you wish.”

  “Promise?” Nell said.

  “Yes.”

  Sasha tugged her arm. “Come on, Nell!”

  Nell kissed Geoffrey as they parted.

  9:03 A.M.

  Nell peered into the back of the white limousine, which was upholstered in lavender leather and rhinestones. Wearing a matching collar, Sasha’s happy, snow-white Samoyed barked noisily in the doorway, batting the air with his tail.

  “Shush, Ivan!” Sasha shouted. “Don’t worry, he’s a big baby.” She nudged the dog aside and waved Nell into the oval of plush seats.

  Nell climbed into Sasha’s world as the chauffeur shut the door behind them. She admired the little girl’s glacier-blue eyes, which were wide and expectant, exerting an irresistible gravity much like her father’s. The white limo charged west as Maxim’s black limo pulled a U-turn and headed east along the riverfront.

  9:05 A.M.

  The friendly dog sat between Nell and the formidable czarina, who inserted a CD of pop songs sung by kids, clicking ahead to her favorite track. “I think you’ll like the garden, Nell!” she yelled over the sugary music blaring out of the speakers. “Botanists study plants, right?”

  “Yes,” Nell said. “Right.”

  The young girl had a confident and more capable air than her ten years implied. If she was bored giving another tour to a guest, she was handling it quite graciously. There was something else in her demeanor, though, too, Nell thought: a sadness or a maturity, Nell couldn’t quite decide which. Either way, Nell was surprised to find herself liking this little princess.

  “You’ll love Dennis,” Sasha said to Nell. “He reminds me of a pear. But he’s really nice! I call him ‘Veggie-Man.’ Not because he grows vegetables but because he is a vegetable!” She giggled. “He’s made of vegetables, I think. Right, Ivan?”

  Ivan barked once and smiled next to her, hanging a sly tongue out to one side and panting breath that smelled like smoked salmon.

  As the limousine cruised around a curve in the road, they headed north along the cavern’s western wall. On the right they passed spoked avenues that glimpsed the giant tower in the city’s center and the bronze colossi at the end of each street. “That’s the Star Tower, down Lenin Boulevard,” Sasha said, pointing up one of the streets. “My dad lives there, on the top floor.”