by Lesley Jones
“Woohoo, Chooooooon gotta be done” I shout as we head back onto the dance floor.
CHAPTER THREE
It’s almost 3.30 in the morning when I let myself in. Jays car isn’t on the drive but that doesn’t mean he's not home, if he's had a drink, he would have taken a cab home. I’m not entirely sure what his plans were for the evening but I know he was going out and I know he has a golf day and an early start in the morning so he may well already be home
I open the bedroom door as quietly as possible and am relieved to see he is still out but quite literally, as I slide into bed, I hear his key turn in the door. I take in a few deep breaths and steady my breathing and settle into my pretend sleep mode but the effects of the alcohol and the late hour mean that I fall into a deep sleep almost instantly. I’m not sure how much time has passed when something wakes me up, taking a few seconds to get my bearings and still feeling very drunk, I realise that Jay is pulling at my sleep shorts.
“Jay, what the fuck...I’m sleeping, wait till morning” I mumble
“Shhhh, come on; get your shorts off” he slurs. Jason has never been a big drinker but every now and then he gives it a good go and being a big bloke I know he must have drunk a lot to be slurring his words.
“Come on Ren” he says into my neck as he tries to put his hand up my vest
"I’ve missed you, I haven’t had sex for a week, come on, just fuckin do it, don't fuck me about”
My blood runs cold…What did he just say? He hasn’t had sex for a week? I haven’t had sex for well over a month. I am suddenly stone cold sober and sit up in my bed, pushing his arms away.
“You haven’t had sex for a week….so who the fuck was it you were having sex with a week ago, because it certainly wasn’t me Jay?”
“What are you banging on about Lauren? Just take off your shorts and fuck me, I’ll be quick” My head’s spinning but it’s not from the alcohol I’ve consumed, it’s from the cold harsh reality that’s slowly sinking into my brain.
“Who have you been fucking Jay? We haven’t fucked in over a month and yet you had sex a week ago, who are you fucking?”
I don’t know if I’m angry, relived, devastated. He is fucking about behind my back and then coming home and beating me? Why have I stayed, why didn’t I get out years ago? I just cannot believe this, how did I not know, how did I not realise, I’m an idiot, a complete and utter idiot!
“It was nothing Lauren, don’t worry about it, stop over reacting”
I reach over and turn on the bedside lamp, what is he saying? What is he telling me, is he outright confessing that he’s been unfaithful? My brain automatically gives me an image of Gabe and what we could have been doing right now, if I had only been armed with this information earlier. There is something seriously wrong with my thought process right now, the man I have been in a relationship with for 26 years, married to for 25, the man who thinks it’s okay to push, pull and drag me about, has just confessed to sleeping with someone else and my first thoughts are of another man, does that make me as bad as Jay, as I’m just as guilty of adultery as he is?
“Don’t worry about it, just go to sleep, it must be four in the morning I have to be out at 6 I’m playing golf”
“What the fuck difference does it make what time it is? It could be three in the arvo, tell me what the fuck is going on here, are you fucking someone else? Fucking tell me”
I know I am starting to become hysterical, I don’t feel like crying but I do want answers and he is just brushing me off and has turned over away from me. Anger starts to kick in as he says “turn the light off and go to sleep, no wonder I don’t wanna fuck ya, you miserable bitch”
I turn my back on him and say nothing, I can’t speak, I have so many thoughts charging through my mind, I am quite literally, gob smacked.
“Turn the fucking light off” I jump as he roars at me….
“Fuck you Jay; turn the fucking light off yourself”
Without warning I feel his feet kick right into the middle of my back and I fly out of the bed, crashing into the bed side chest of drawers face first. The small chest falls over with the force and I land on it with my arm out trying to protect myself from the impact. The drawers turn and my hand slips, sending my ribs smashing into the corner. I am aware of a sharp pain in my shoulder but for a few seconds I am completely stunned. I start to get up but let out a cry as pain shoots through my shoulder again.
“Here we go with the dramatics. Turn the light off while you’re down there, there’s a good girl” He actually laughs as he turns over and away from me, closing his eyes.
I get up onto my knees and attempt to stand. I am aware of the sound of blood dripping onto the carpet. My nose is bleeding but there is blood dripping down my back too. I put my hand into my hair it’s soaked; I am momentarily horrified by the amount of the dark red blood coming from my head and just stand and stare... Think, think, think.... I want to curl up in a ball and hide....I swipe the back of my arm across my nose and attempt to calm my breathing and steady my legs. Adrenalin is coursing through me and I am shaking badly. The pain in my shoulder is excruciating to the point that I think I'm going to vomit. I try to hold onto it, I don't want to make any kind of noise that might wake Jason up but he is now snoring so I rush into the toilet and empty the contents of my stomach. Calm, calm, calm is all that I'm thinking. I need to stay calm and get myself out of here before he wakes. I walk into my wardrobe and pull on my UGGS and I grab a hoody but I almost cry out loud when I try to pull it over my vest and shorts. I check that I can still hear Jason snoring and instead grab a long cardigan and just put one arm in. I know I have enough time to grab my bag and throw in my purse, phone and glasses, I grab my charger too, another of life's essentials and not planning on returning here, ever again, I creep out of the bedroom, out of the front door and out of my marriage.
I run down the street and onto a back road. I want to avoid the main roads incase Jason wakes up and realises I’m missing. I pull out my phone and press Jo in my contacts. I choose her because she lives alone so it’s only her I will be disturbing and not an entire household as I would if I called Jem or Lu.
I carry on walking as I wait for an answer but the call rings out and goes to message bank. I know I need to calm myself but I’m terrified he will drive along and find me. I call twice more before Jo answers
“Lauren, what's wrong?”
“Jo” I sob “Jo can you come and get me please, I've had a fight with Jay”
“Where are you?”
“I have no idea...I got out of the house and ran when he went to sleep, I can’t see the name of the street” I’m crying and trying to catch my breath... I do know the name of this street but my brain won't function properly. A car drives by and I'm frozen with fear, it drives straight on and I actually whimper with relief. I can hear Jo calling my name down the phone.
“Lauren, listen to me, please calm down and listen to me, go to the little row of shops where the bakers are and wait there, I'm already in the car and on my way. I'll be as quick as I can, calm yourself down and just wait for me”
“Jo, just make sure Jays not driving by looking for me, when you get here” I sob
“Yeah ok, stop panicking.... Don't let him get you into his car if he does come along, just hang up and call the police if you need to, love you, the phone will cut out when the blue tooth kicks in but I’m still here okay, it will just drop out for a few seconds” It takes about 30 seconds before I hear her again.
“Right I’m back, how far from the shops are you?”
“About five minutes”
“Okay, hurry up, don’t talk, just get your arse there, I am about 6 minutes away”
It takes me about three more minutes to get to the shops and I stand back in a door way, out of sight of any one driving by. I tell Jo I’m here and she reassures me she won’t be long. As I wait I start to shake uncontrollably and my legs start to give way. I crouch down and try to breathe deeply but start to so
b, I vomit again and don’t hear Jo pull up and jump with fear when I hear my name called, and without meaning to, I cry in complete panic. She moves towards me, using her phone as a torch. I know that I’m on the verge of hysteria but I just can’t calm myself. I'm so pleased to see her I can barely breathe between sobs and I launch myself at her.
“Jo, Jo he kicked me out of bed, I'm bleeding, I didn't know what to do so I just ran and I don't know if he's looking for me”
“Okay, shush shush, let's get you in the car, I don't want to hang about out here, in case he does come looking for you... Can you stand up babe?”
I stand up on shaky legs and start to walk to the car. Jo helps me in. She runs around to the driver’s side and jumps in locking the doors behind her.
“Right, let's get out of here, and then we can get you cleaned up, alright?”
She drives quickly to her house, helping me out when we get there. As we walk into the bright lights of the kitchen, I hear her gasp.
“What the fuck has he done to you Lauren?”
She shakes her head and tells me to sit down at the kitchen table. The first thing she does is pour us both a drink. I think it's brandy or whiskey, I'm not sure but it’s horrible and burns my throat on the way down, I drink it anyway, anything to help numb how I'm feeling right now .
“Right, let's see what damage that fuckers done under all this blood, what's wrong with your arm?”
“I think I've dislocated my shoulder”
The adrenalin is slowing and the pain is really kicking in now. Jo looks at my shoulder
“Oh God Lauren” Is all she says and I suddenly feel like I’m going to pass out.
“Shit I think we need to get you to hospital Hun that gash in your head is pretty big and it's still bleeding and I have no idea how to put that shoulder right”
I am numb now, I think shock is starting to kick in and I simply nod as I start to sob again. Jo gives me a cuddle as she calls a cab. She has had far too much to drink to risk the drive to the hospital, especially as she has poured herself a couple more while we wait.
I'm seen pretty quickly at the hospital considering its Friday night/Saturday morning and as much as it pisses Jo off I tell them that I fell over whilst drunk but I have a sneaking suspicion she tells one of the nurses what really happened as they start asking questions, rightly or wrongly, I don't want to press charges and get the police involved, it would just cause too much trouble all round.
It’s eight in the morning by the time we leave the hospital. I have a hair line fracture to my cheek bone and a couple of badly bruised ribs. They glued back together the gash in my head, which luckily is within my hairline so there won’t be a visible scar; my shoulder has been popped back into place and feels surprisingly okay.
My phone shows forty seven missed calls, all from Jay. Right now I have nothing to say to him, I will, eventually, but I'm not ready yet. I will save it, I want to get it right, I actually have so much I want to say. I have written a whole fucking speech in my head. Jo and I are both exhausted. We head back to hers in silence. Once there, she helps me shower and gives me some clothes to wear.
As Jo makes us bacon sandwiches, my phone vibrates again and makes me jump, it's Jemma, before I get a chance to speak, she asks
“What the fuck is going on, where are you?”
“And good morning to you too Mrs Wilson”
“Cut the crap Day, why is your husband ringing me looking for you and then turning up at my door, like I've got you hidden away in a cupboard, what’s happened?”
She’s ranting and I feel bad for not ringing and giving her the heads up.
“I'm sorry for my husband’s behaviour” I reply “we had a fight last night and I got Jo to come pick me up once he went to sleep, I didn't want to ring you and wake Max and the kids, so I called Jo instead”
“Well, are you okay?” she asks, sounding concerned. Before I can reply, Jo, who's standing over my shoulder listening to our conversation, shouts
“No she's not” she takes the phone from me.
“Come over here, you need to see this. If he calls you again, tell him nothing and call Lorraine and give her the tip too”
We never call Lulu Lorraine, so I know Jo is not in the mood to be argued with. She hands me back my phone but Jemma has hung up.
“I really need to take some pain killers and get some sleep, you must be ready for some sleep too, you've been up all night as well”
“I'm fine, I’m past it now. Do you think Jason will come here looking for you?” she asks. Almost right on cue, her mobile rings,
“It’s Jay” She mouths to me and motions for me to keep quiet.
“Hey Jay, a bit early for social calls isn't it. What can I do you for?” she winks at me
“Lauren, no, not since last night... she did come home didn't she, because we dropped her off..... Oh, oh right, I see, well no I've not heard from her, have you tried Jemma and Lulu? ..... Right okay, well if I hear anything I'll let you know and will you get her to call me, whenever she finishes her sook, yeah, that's right, see ya, bye”
She puts down her phone and lets out a loud breath
“Bastard.... Apparently, you two had words last night and he thought you had gone off to sleep on the sofa and sook but when he got up this morning, he couldn't find you. Now he's worried, because it's almost ten and you’re not back and not answering your phone”
I say nothing. What was there to say to that?
My phone vibrates and I pick it up, expecting it to be Jay again but as I look at the screen it says Angel. “Who the fuck is Angel?” I say out loud but really only to myself, I look at Jo who frowns and shrugs. I shrug back and answer
“Hello”
“Good morning gorgeous, are we still on for our meet this morning?” it's Gabriel. Of course Angel.
“How did you get my number?” I ask confused
“I rang myself from your phone last night when I put my number in and saved it, sorry, was that okay? It's just that I didn't end up taking as long as I thought this morning and so I wondered if you wanted to see the house a bit earlier, if you’re free and if you’re still interested and looking for somewhere” he trails off, sounding, nervous, was it?
“Erm, look, I am definitely interested and I am most definitely still looking but I don't think I'm going to be able to make it today”
My heart is pounding in my chest and my belly feels like there are a thousand butterflies flapping inside it, I know that I'm blushing. Shit, I really would like to see the house and, if I'm totally honest I would like to see him again too but there's no way I’m letting him see me like this.
“Oh” he says and I think and hope I hear a little disappointment in his voice
“Well is this arvo or tomorrow better for you?”
“Who is it?” Jo interrupts
“Hang on a sec' Gabe”
“It’s Gabriel” I reply “I was going to look at a unit of his to rent this morning but I'm not going to be able to make it” I shake my head at Jo pointing at my lip and cheek and shake my head some more. She motions for me to give her the phone and again I know better than to argue.
“Gabriel, baby, Jo here, can I call you back in a bit, we will definitely be looking at this rental with you today... Okay... Thanks, call you back in a bit”
I stare at her open mouthed. “What?” she asks. “You need somewhere to live, he has a place to rent, he's hot, and who wouldn't want him as a landlord? I will go and have a look at the unit for you, if you don't want to go”
I let out a loud sigh, “I need to sleep Jo and I need some more drugs, I really can't think much further than that right now”
She gets up from the table, gets me a glass of water and hands it to me with my tablets.
CHAPTER FOUR
Gabriel pushes me back against the wall, he's holding both my arms above my head as he kisses along my jaw to my ear, I can feel his hot breath on my neck and it’s giving me goose bumps, everywhere.
I let out an involuntary moan as he bites down on my earlobe. He grabs both my wrists with one of his hands and keeps them above my head, using his knee to force me to open my legs but I'm wearing a skirt and can only open them so far. Letting go of my wrists, he slides both his hands down my body as he drops to his knees and pulls my skirt up around my waist, all the while looking up at me with those blue, blue eyes. I'm wearing long black boots, hold up stockings and black lace knickers, he holds on to my thighs, and kisses the inside of my leg, right where my stockings end and there is nothing but my soft, sensitive bare flesh. He alternates between feather light kisses and grazing his teeth over my skin. I moan as I run my fingers through his hair and bend my knees slightly so that I can open my legs wider for him. I can feel his hot breath between my legs and it feels, unbelievably good as he bites gently down onto the front of my slit, “ahhhh” I moan. He slides a finger under the edge of my knickers and pulls them to one side. I raise my left leg and lift it over his shoulder, he moves further underneath me as he slides his tongue along the length of me to my entrance. My hand tightens in his hair and I push his head further into me. Leaning back on his heels and looking up at me, he pulls my knickers off and I step out of them. He stands up and kisses me hard, forcing his tongue into my mouth, making me taste myself. He steps back, putting a hand either side of my face, caging me as he leans against the wall and says
“Fuck Lauren you taste good. I could lick and suck you all day. I love knowing that it's me that’s made you so soaking wet like this, me, no one else, just me, I love knowing I can do this to you”
Holding me by the waist, he walks me away from the wall and back towards the bed. He unbuttons my blouse, kissing each area of flesh he exposes as he goes; I have no control over the trembling moans escaping from me. Sliding my blouse of my shoulders and onto the floor, he lifts my breasts one at a time out of my bra so they are pushed up and out. He guides me back onto the bed but pulls me forward so that my hips are on the edge and my legs over the sides, my feet on the floor. He is over me, kissing my mouth, then my throat, down my chest to my right breast; he grazes his teeth over my nipple, then sucks, whilst stroking his thumb over the other. I can feel his erection through his jeans, sticking into my belly. I flex my hips, trying to rub my clit against him, I want him inside me so bad but I also want this to last so long, in fact, I don't think I ever want it to end. I don't remember ever feeling so turned on. As I force my hips against him, he looks up at me whilst still sucking on my nipple; those beautiful blue eyes seem to look right through me, straight into my mind, it’s as if he can actually see my thoughts. He knows exactly what I want and he gives me a hint of a smile. I know he's going to make me wait; make me beg. “Fuck Gabe” Is all that I can manage