Saviour

by Lesley Jones

  He shifts forward on his seat and moves his other leg between mine and tilts his hips up and lifts me, I wrap my legs around him and holding on to my hips, he lowers me down onto him and enters me, very gently, very slowly, looking up into my eyes the whole time.

  “Fuck baby, that feels good, but you must tell me if I hurt you Lauren”

  I rock my hips forward so that he goes into me deeper.

  “Fuck that feels good Lauren” He moans and whispers in my ear, “Cazzo, Bella”

  Oh. My. Lordy. Lord. Lord, I have no idea what it means or even if that’s what he said. He could be telling me I smell like sheep… I. DON’T. CARE…It sounds amazing and I am just, gone, lost. His

  We move together and find our rhythm. I tighten my legs around him, pulling him in deeper still. It's almost painful but it feels so good at the same time and I know I'm not going to last long.

  “Lauren, I'm not going to last much longer, you feel too good baby, I’ve waited for this since I set eyes on you”

  I knew he could read my mind, and that just goes to prove it!

  “Fuck me” is all I can say “Just fuck me Gabe please” I beg!

  “Open your eyes baby, I told you, I wanna see you come, I want to see you and I want to hear you, open!”

  I stare right at him, our faces only inches apart. We make barely a noise, other than the very hushed sounds of our breathing.

  “Lauren”

  Just hearing him say my name in that sexy, raspy voice, the look in his eyes as he looks into mine, he makes me feel beautiful, desired and it turns me on to the point of insanity.

  “Fuck Lauren”

  I start to come, still staring right at him; he's so deep inside me, rubbing everything that needs to be rubbed to send me over the edge as my insides tighten.

  “Baby, that's it, I'm coming, shit, fuck you feel good Lauren”

  I feel him let go, deep inside me, I feel the heat of his release as I hold onto his shoulders and look straight into his eyes. I am incapable of speech, only sounds; my mouth is open as I try to gasp in more air. I don’t think I am crying but I feel tears roll down my cheeks, I’m not sad, in fact I couldn’t be happier. It's such a powerful orgasm; I shudder and rock, as pleasure ripples through me from my head to my toes. I actually see lights flash in front of my eyes and I'm not sure if they're real or just my imagination.

  It wasn't long and drawn out, we were both too desperate for that. But it was intense and beautiful and it was with him. I've had sex with another man, not my husband, and he's made me come, and it was beautiful and gentle and hot and sexy and I can’t wait to do it again and I also can’t stop my happy tears, I’m ecstatic and just overcome with the intensity of it all, the way he’s looking at me right now, I’ve never felt so desired, my stomach is still doing backflips, my heart is bouncing off my rib cage and my thoughts are scattered but in that moment, because of the way he’s looking at me, I feel like there is just me and him on this planet right now, no one else, just the two of us and I just focus on that.

  We sit, still joined, with our foreheads pressed together, both breathing heavily. At some stage, despite his orders, I've closed my eyes. I hear Rita Ora's R I P playing and can't help but smile at the relevance of the words, the Lauren of the past few years is gone, this is the new me and thanks to Gabe, I’m feeling a little more confident about facing my future, whatever it may bring, whether Gabe is part of that future, remains to be seen but, I feel, that right at this moment in time, we are as connected as two people could ever be, I'm struggling to stop the tears, so overcome by my emotions that I am, opening my eyes slowly I see he is still looking right at me . He raises his eyebrows and looks concerned.

  “Lauren, are you okay, I didn't hurt you anywhere did I? Please don’t cry baby, I hate seeing you cry”

  He pulls his head back and tilts it to the side, waiting for an answer; his eyes now look a much softer blue, gentle.

  “You didn't hurt me Gabe, not at all, I’m sorry; I don’t know why I’m crying”

  He closes his eyes and lets out a breath and slowly shakes his head.

  “Lauren, that was, that was amazing, I never knew, I never fucking knew” He shakes his head as he speaks and seems to hesitate about what he’s going to say next “I've never really, fuck don’t laugh at what I’m about to tell you here but, I've never really made love, it’s always only ever been sex, always and it’s different, when you care for, care about someone, it's different and I never knew that. Fucking is not the same as making love. Ha, well, there ya go, I must sound like a complete cunt” I shake my head but he continues before I get chance to respond verbally, not that I’m capable of speech right now. “Was it okay? It was okay wasn’t it, for you too?”

  He is deadly serious; he wants to know if I enjoyed the mind blowingly beautiful love we just made. He kisses me gently on my mouth, my cheeks, then back to my mouth before leaning back and looking at me.

  “Lauren, talk to me baby, I need to know”

  “Gabriel”

  Shit, I'm going to cry again shit, shit. Breathe, theses tears have got to stop.

  “Gabriel, it was beautiful, it was perfect, I'm sorry, I'm such a mess”

  His hand is around the back of my neck, under my hair, I can feel his thumb brushing up and down over my skin, it’s such a soothing and sensual sensation, that even this soon after my mind blowing orgasm, the thought of what we have just done makes me want to clench and squirm but he's still inside me and I don't want him to know that I'm ready to go again. He starts to smile, have I given the game away, did I move a muscle, tense something, without realising?

  “What?” I ask, trying not to smile back. I'm feeling a bit embarrassed but he shakes his head, still smiling at me. He puts his hands under each of my butt cheeks and lifts me off him. I try not to pout, I don't want this moment to end.

  “Let’s get inside and into the shower, before I bend you over and fuck you again”

  “Why?” I ask

  “Why what?” He frowns at me

  “Why the shower, why not bend me over and fuck me here, again, you want to, I want you to so why not?”

  There, it's out there, I’ve asked for sex, I’ve said it, out loud. Please don't reject me, please don't turn me down, not when I am on such a high, it would be such a long way to fall, and I know it would be painful. He kisses me hard on the mouth.

  “Oh Lauren, I have every intention of bending you over and fucking you every which way I can. But I thought that as its getting cold out here, we could go inside, have a nice hot shower and fuck the rest of the night away, in the comfort of our own bed”

  I blink a few times as my insides liquefy, I try and take in what he has just said but the only part that keeps repeating in my head is “our own bed”.

  “Wait here” he orders “I'll go get a towel” He steps out of the spa and I watch his sexy, tight little bum, again, as he heads for the bedroom. Our bedroom?

  “You have the best arse” I shout out and he hesitates for a beat and I see him shake his head and I just know he's laughing. He returns with a towel round his hips. Wow and high five to that image. He holds out another towel for me. I step out of the spa and into the towel, he wraps it around me and takes my hand and leads me into 'our bedroom' and on into the en suite. I sit on the edge of the bath as he turns the shower on. There is a huge shower head in the middle of the wet room, with body jets positioned around on three sides so water hits you from all angles. The room instantly starts to steam up, he drops his towel and holds his hand out to me, I stand and drop my towel like getting naked in front of thirty five year old men is something I do every day.... and take his hand. The water is lovely and warm and causes goose bumps as it hits my cool skin.

  “Are you allowed to get your hair wet?” he asks

  “Not really but Jo washed it the other day for me, she just washed around the glue”

  “I think I can manage that, if you want me to?”

  “Go for it V
idal” Shit, did I seriously call him Vidal? Talk about showing your age Lauren, would he have any idea what of I’m talking about? Oh well.

  He puts shampoo on his hands and standing behind me, very gently massages it into my scalp, avoiding the glued area on the left side of my head.

  “Tilt your head back; I don’t want this running in your eyes”

  I do as he says and he runs his fingers through my hair as he rinses the suds out. He repeats the process and I actually feel like I could fall asleep standing up. He finishes with the conditioner; I stand with my eyes closed and my head back as he rinses the last of product out of my hair. His hands reach around from behind me and he starts soaping both of my boobs, he pulls me into him so I rest my head back on his chest. His hands reach up and around my throat, under my arms, back over my boobs and down over my stomach, then behind me and in-between my bum cheeks. With one hand on my belly, Gabe’s other hand reaches between my legs from behind, he pushes two, maybe three fingers inside me, his thumb is circling the hole in my backside, it feels, hmmm not sure about that, how does it feel? It’s not uncomfortable but it’s not something that's ever appealed to me!

  Gabriel guides me to the tiled wall of the wet room, out of the flow of water from the shower head above us but still within the range of the body jets.

  “Put out your arms and lean on the wall” He commands and I do as I'm told, without question. He kisses across my shoulders and down my back to my bum. I open my legs tilt my arse into the air as he drops to his knees. He slides his hand between my legs and circles my clit with his middle finger, then pulling it back and pushing it inside me, then another and another. I’m still wet. A mixture of me and him inside me. I should feel embarrassed but I don't, I just feel turned on, because my goodness it feels good. I open my legs wider, giving him better access. His mouth is over my butt cheeks, kissing, biting, grazing; he pulls my cheeks apart and runs his tongue up and down and around my hole. I have never been touched there, like that! God this is fucking hot and something I have to seriously reconsider being a definite no in my sex life.

  “Turn around”

  I turn; he's on his knees, looking up at me. We both have water dripping off of us and I run my hand through his hair, pushing it back off his beautiful face and stroke his cheek with the back of my hand and once again a tide of emotion washes over me. He's so kind, so good, and so gentle. I blink and the tears run down my cheeks as I look into those blue, blue eyes, he has the power to ruin me, I can’t believe what I’m already feeling for him, days, it’s been just days and I just know already that when he’s done with me, it’s going to hurt, a lot! My tears are washed away by the shower and he's none the wiser, despite still staring right at me. He kisses my belly, and then moves his lips lower and lower.

  “Open your legs baby”

  My thoughts instantly turn to my dream. Ha, who said dreams don't come true? I lift my leg over his shoulder and he kisses all the way up the inside of my thigh, as he reaches the top he flicks his tongue over me, in me and pushes his fingers back inside this time using the flat of his thumb on that spot between my legs where every nerve in my body is centred right now, he applies just the right amount of pressure to make me throb. I'm still feeling sensitive from my earlier orgasm. Instead of taking the edge off, knowing the pleasure he’s capable of giving me, just makes me ache for more, desperate for more. His teeth graze the inside of my leg, then back to that little nub of flesh, so full of sensation, its driving me insane, I want him inside me again. Whoa, I feel another finger slide inside my behind. Three fingers in the front, one in the back. Ok. That's not so bad, it's different but not in a bad way. I bend my knees, lowering myself down the wall so that he pushes into me harder. My body is in sensation overload, the water, his kisses, his hands and then as I watch, he moves his hand away from my backside and wraps it around his cock, he starts to stroke himself up and down and watching him do this is almost instantly too much for me. There’s no embarrassment, only pure pleasure in his eyes. This is what I need to learn, this is how I want to be for him, nothing held back.

  We get our rhythm in time, I have one hand in his hair, the other reaching up and into my own hair, my shoulders are against the wall, my back arched, hips pushed out, my legs are open, one foot up on Gabe’s shoulder, my knee slightly bent. We must look like something from a porno. Me the cheating housewife. Him, the plumber? Something else to store away for later, role play!

  As he pushes his fingers into me, he circles my clit with his thumb, I move my hips up and down, backwards, forwards and he strokes himself faster and faster. Almost in unison, the only sounds are our moans but which of us is making which "Ahhh" sound is lost on me. The fact that he doesn't take his eyes off me makes everything more intense, he watches his fingers work on me, every so often moving his thumb away, instead grazing his teeth and flicking his tongue over me. It's all so intense, I actually feel myself involuntarily convulse, and he must know I'm close.

  “Come baby, fuck my fingers and come for me”

  That's it, his words are my undoing, he has to hold me up as I no longer have control, my legs are limp, my hips gyrating of their own free will.

  “Gabe…”

  “I’ve got ya baby, I’ve got ya”

  My hand grips his hair hard, causing his head to tilt back, his eyes on mine, I open my mouth and cry out loud as I come around his fingers, his hand leaves my hip and he gives himself a few final strokes and I watch him spurt his own juices all over his hand.

  This was different to what we did earlier. This was naughty sex, well naughty by my standards anyway but just as intense.

  For a few seconds or minutes, I'm not sure, there are only the sounds of our breathing, the water running, and of Avicii singing about having a good feeling. What is this the “Music To Fuck Lauren To” mix? My legs are so shaky that I bend them and slide my back down the wall. I feel, boneless. I pull my knees up in front of me. Gabriel is still kneeling in front of me; he opens my legs at my knees, turns around, and sits back against me. I drape my arms over his shoulders and cross them over his chest, stroking each of his nipples with my thumbs.

  “Is this ok, I'm not hurting you anywhere am I?”

  “Gabe, the second I feel pain, of any kind, caused by you or not, I will let you know”

  “Sorry but If you could see yourself Lauren, all fucking bruised, I feel guilty, like I'm forcing myself on you”

  I don't know what to say in reply and before I can think of an answer, he asks

  “Why were you crying?”

  Shit, he noticed. “Honestly?”

  “Yes honestly Lauren, total honesty, always”

  “You, I was thinking about you. What you were doing to me, what I was doing with you, about Jason and how much I regret...” Before I can finish, he gets up and turns off the shower.

  “We're going wrinkly, come on, let me help you up”

  He helps me stand, then wraps a towel around me and one around himself and walks off into the bedroom, leaving me standing there, alone and totally confused. What the fuck just happened? What did I say? I dry myself off and wrap my hair in a towel. I can hear draws opening and closing and he appears in front of me with a clean T shirt in his hand.

  “Here” He passes it to me, without looking me in the eye.

  “Thanks” I say quietly. Fuck, what did I do? Or is it just me, am I not for him?

  I don't know why I'm feeling shocked, this is what I thought would happen after all. He's had a good look, given me a test run and he's realised that doing the grateful older woman, isn't for him after all. Years of self-doubt and low self-esteem take over my thoughts. All of the tears haven't helped either, who would want to get themselves involved with a menopausal forty five year old woman, especially when you’re a hot, successful, single, sex god, who can have their choice of women, why would he want me?

  I sit on the bed and towel dry my hair, gathering my thoughts and trying to control my bottom lip. That was the most a
mazing sexual experience of my life, the way his eyes didn't leave mine, the words, the things he says, it just makes everything more, just more. That's the word, he makes everything more. But, if it’s not to be, it’s not to be. I will treasure the memories and the sensations forever but I will go back to Jo's for the rest of the week and move into the rental at the weekend as I had planned before I lost grip on reality and stepped into a fantasy. We will be nothing more to each other than a tenant and a landlord, who had sex one night. Mind blowing, convulsion causing, spa and shower sex but that is all. End of!

  Who the fuck am I kidding?

  I pull the T shirt over my head, clean my teeth, run a comb through my damp hair and rub in some face cream. My face is flushed and my eyes look extra wide and very blue, I actually look quite good. My phone is out in the family room and I need to call Jo and ask her to come pick me up. I tip my head upside down; shake out my hair and throw my head back, going for the wild and sexy look, wanting to show him exactly what he's going to be missing out on, not sure if that's what I've achieved but I look okay. I swallow hard, take in a deep breath, and blink back the tears. I won’t let him see me cry, I won’t let him know how much his rejection is hurting me, I will leave with as much of my dignity intact as I can manage. I walk into the family room on the pretence of looking for my phone. Gabe’s sitting back on the sofa drinking a beer, his left ankle resting on his right knee, his left arm draped along the back of the sofa, he’s wearing trackies and a hoodie, his hair is still wet and I want to whimper at the deliciousness of him. He looks in my direction as I walk in but his eyes don't meet mine. I’m hurt, everything we just did, what he just made me feel and now this, now he can’t even look at me, am I that bad? I swallow back my tears as I walk past him over to where my phone is; as I leave the room he asks “So that's it, you’re going tonight, can't even wait till morning? Still, reckon Jason won’t care what the time is, as long as he gets his little punch bag back”