The Varlet and the Voyeur

by L.H. Cosway

  “Well, when the tequila goes into that man his walls come down, big time.”

  “Really?” Eilish said, intrigued. “I can’t picture him drunk. He’s always so controlled.”

  “Exactly. That’s why it took me so much by surprise. And then we started dancing, but Broderick and Ophelia sort of shuffled off, leaving me alone with Will. And let me tell you, there was nothing controlled about him then. Those hands were everywhere, and the stuff that came out of his mouth. I was surprised I didn’t fall victim to spontaneous horny combustion.”

  Eilish set two cups on the table, then took the seat across from mine. “Hold up a second. Are you telling me Will came onto you?”

  “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. I told him I thought he was a sexy male, and he said he thought I was, too. A sexy female, that is.”

  Now she burst out laughing. “You called him a ‘sexy male’? Those were your exact words?”

  “Yes! You know what I’m like. I say the wrong thing. It’s what I do.”

  “It’s not so much the wrong thing, you just say stuff in funny ways.”

  “Jeez, thanks.”

  “It’s a compliment, Josey. It’s one of the reasons why I love you. You make me laugh.”

  “Well, that’s great for you but I’m the one who has to live it.”

  She shook her head, incredulous. “I seriously can’t believe you and Will have been having a thing and you didn’t even tell me. Wait a second, did you sleep with him?”

  “No, I didn’t sleep with him.” He just watched me pleasure myself while I was in the shower, no biggie. “And we haven’t been having a thing at all. At least not until very recently. That’s why I’m only telling you now.”

  “Okay, I believe you. So what happened next?”

  I rubbed my mouth. “We left the club and dropped Ophelia and Broderick off, then Will and I went to get some fish and chips. This is where things got interesting.”

  Eilish arched a brow. “Oh?”

  “He told me he wants to be friends with benefits when we go to Australia.”

  She put her cup down too abruptly and tea sloshed out onto the table. “What? He did?”

  I nodded. “Just for the duration of the trip. He wants my bod-ay.”

  “I can’t believe this. I mean, I can believe it, but Will is usually such a stickler for rules.” Eilish gave me a look like she wanted to laugh but was also confused. “Why didn’t he just ask you out?”

  “We talked about that. Long story short, it turns out he has some issues over a past relationship. This is why he doesn’t date. We decided it would be best to skip the romance and just have sex. He didn’t used to want just sex, because it made things complicated, hence the voyeurism. But now that he’s met me, he does want it. Can you believe that?”

  “I can definitely believe it. What did you tell him?”

  “I said hells yes. Have you seen his abs? I mean, abs for light-years! And that V-thing that super fit guys have, well he has it! So, again, hells yes.”

  Eilish went silent, her expression thoughtful. “Friends with benefits . . . it might not be as easy as all that.”

  “Don’t you think I haven’t thought about that? I know it won’t be easy, but I have a plan. If I can just keep thinking of him as a girl, and separate all the sex from my emotions, then it’ll be fine.”

  She didn’t look convinced. “Think of him as a girl?”

  “Yes, that’s what I’ve been doing so as not to develop a crush. Only it didn’t really work, because I do have a crush. On his body, anyway. Therefore, a friends with benefits arrangement is perfect.”

  “And what if the crush develops? What if you end up wanting a relationship and he doesn’t?”

  Jeez, Eilish, way to rain on my parade.

  I was silent a moment, thinking on it, then said, “Look, I know I’m fooling myself a little, but I have a very high sex drive for a woman—”

  “Yes, you’ve told me numerous times,” Eilish interjected before I got too much into it. “But I think you’re wrong. I think female. . . urges come in all different speeds. And I don’t think yours is strange or atypically high.”

  She was a bit uncomfortable talking about sex, having been raised by an ice queen mother who didn’t discuss such things. Of course, I was one to talk, since I always whispered the word with Will. But I needed to talk about it.

  Maybe my hormones were out of whack.

  “Well, it gets frustrating taking matters into your own hands,” I went on. “Sometimes you just want a warm body to use without having to deal with romantic entanglements or long-term commitments. I don’t want to pick up his socks or take him to the airport.”

  “Picking up his socks doesn’t sound very romantic.”

  “But it’s all part of it, right? Having a long-term romantic relationship? You get the flowers, but then you also get to listen to his woes, deal with his mood swings, his parents and how you never know what to get them for Christmas. Plus, I’m terrible with birthday gifts, too. I just want . . .”

  “Sex,” she supplied.

  That wasn’t precisely true, but instead of clarifying, I said, “Exactly.”

  Eilish appeared torn and huffed a breath before she replied, “I can understand that. And I guess if you feel like you won’t get hurt, and the arrangement will remain purely physical, then great, everybody wins. But other factors could come into play. What if he decides he wants to go out and watch other people have sex while he’s still sleeping with you?”

  “He’s not supposed to do that anyway. That’s why I moved in with him to begin with.”

  “Okay then, how will you feel if you start to really like him and he tells you he’s tempted to watch people again? You two already get along as friends, and he’s been doing great since you moved in with him. I’m just playing devil’s advocate here, but you may want to think things through a little more before you jeopardize the good setup you two have going.”

  Hmm, she did have a point.

  Then again, it wasn’t like I was going to live with Will forever. This was a temporary arrangement until I had enough money saved to get a place of my own. Since my unpaid internship had become a paid one, I figured it’d take another six months probably. So, if things with Will went south, it’d only be a couple of months of awkwardness before I moved out. Definitely not the end of the world. And I really didn’t think that would happen. We were both practical people. We’d shake hands, agree all’s well that ends well, and then go on living our lives.

  I looked at Eilish. “I’m not going to live with him for much longer. He’s been going cold turkey with the voyeurism and I really think that in a couple of months he won’t need me anymore. So, if friends with benefits doesn’t work, if it makes things complicated between us, then I’m sure we’ll be able to manage an amicable parting.”

  Eilish had her thoughtful face on again. “You really want to try this, don’t you?”

  “More than I want to eat a tub of double chocolate fudge ice cream while watching Magic Mike XXL.”

  That got a chuckle out of her. “Wow, it’s that serious, huh?”

  “Yup.”

  “Well then, I say go for it. Will’s a gentleman, and I trust him to treat you right. But if you feel your crush developing into something more, I’m always here to talk things through. Even if something happens when you’re in Australia, I’m just a phone call away.”

  “You’re such a good friend.”

  She smiled. “When you get back we’re enacting your Magic Mike chocolate fudge fantasy, so put it down on your calendar.”

  I laughed. “It’s a date.”

  The next few days went by uneventfully. Will didn’t randomly walk into the bathroom while I was showering, and we didn’t talk about “the arrangement.” I guessed he was keeping it under lock and key until we landed down under. In a way, I was glad. It meant I could focus on my studies.

  In another way, I wasn’t glad, because I fretted over whether
he’d decided to cancel the whole thing altogether. Maybe he thought it wasn’t worth the potential drama, which would be a personal travesty for me because I was counting on that sex.

  Or, more precisely, counting down to it.

  Not to sound like a moan, but living with a man who looked like William Moore drove my horniness up to eleven. I needed relief and I needed it SOON.

  My parents were taking care of Rocky while I was away. I think he knew something was up because he kept pacing my bedroom and huffing while I tried to pack. Every time I put something in my suitcase he pulled it back out again. Eventually, I had to get into bed and cuddle him for an hour to calm him down. Well, it was also for me because I was going to miss him like crazy.

  The morning of our flight, Will and I took a cab to the airport. He was frowning at his phone for most of the journey, so I let myself gaze out at the city passing us by. In twenty-four hours I’d be in another continent, thousands of miles from home.

  When we arrived at Departures, I looked around for the rest of the team but couldn’t see anyone.

  “Are we early or late? I can’t tell,” I said to Will as we went to check our bags.

  He glanced at his watch. “Neither. We’re right on time.”

  “Then where is the team?”

  “Oh, they’re not flying out until later today. I usually book my own flights for long journeys.”

  My brows drew together. “What? Why?”

  Will shrugged. “I like to fly first class. It means I have room to move around. Flying economy is a nightmare because my legs are so long. For the entire flight they’re squished up against the seat in front of me.”

  “That makes sense, but don’t the rest of the team fly first class, too?”

  “They fly business class,” Will replied.

  I smirked and shook my head. “Fancy-pants.”

  He scowled playfully. I think he liked it when I teased him. “The team can also become a little rowdy on flights.”

  “How so?”

  He looked reluctant, like he didn’t want to rat out his teammates; but then he leaned close and lowered his voice, saying, “McGuire always gets steaming drunk and Donoghue is sometimes handsy with the flight attendants—male or female, doesn’t matter. It’s all a bunch of drama I’d prefer to avoid.”

  Ah, now I understood. Will didn’t like drama. He preferred order and peace, which was probably why he spent most nights in bed with his e-reader.

  We moved forward in the queue when a thought struck me. “Wait a second. I’m flying economy, right?”

  Will frowned. “No. Your seat is next to mine.”

  My brows shot right up into my forehead. “Seriously?”

  His voice was gruff. “It’s all tax deductible.”

  I was flabbergasted. “But flying first class to Australia costs thousands. That’s like, a ridiculous amount of money.”

  Will seemed annoyed now. Maybe he was one of those people who didn’t like to talk about money in public. “Like I said, it’s tax deductible.”

  I folded my arms and shook my head. “It still doesn’t sit right with me.”

  “Josey.”

  “No. I—I won’t.”

  His expression heated and once again he leaned close. “Am I going to have to tie you up?”

  A rush of heat spread up my neck to my cheeks and I tried to glare at him as he leaned away.

  For the record, I failed. I didn’t glare. I stared. With longing. Because the big guy was grinning at me.

  “Your ass will be sitting right next to me, on those big roomy seats. Believe me, you’ll be thanking me by the time we land,” he said, teasing now as he softly elbowed me. “Plus, it’s not like I can get a refund. You’ll just have to live with it.”

  And live with it I did. And I never wanted to fly any other way again. Knowledge can be such a curse sometimes!

  We’d just hit cruising altitude and already I was in heaven. I had my own little pod, my seat transformed into a bed if I fancied a nap. I could pull a curtain if I wanted privacy, and there were unlimited drinks and snacks.

  I guess you got what you paid for.

  Plus, I got a kick out of the entire arrangement. Who would have ever thought, Josey Kavanagh, a “kept woman” flying in the lap of luxury, on my way to a sexcation with a hot rugby player. What is this life? I almost burst out laughing at the absurdity of it.

  Will was happily reading a newspaper while I sipped on a Mimosa and ogled the very handsome flight attendant. I wondered if they saved the best-looking ones for first class.

  As the flight went on, my mind began to wander. I couldn’t concentrate on the movie I was supposed to be watching because all I could think about was whether or not Will still wanted to get down and dirty down under. And if so, when?

  My gaze followed a woman who walked by our seats, then went into the bathroom. A moment passed. An idea formed. Technically, we’d begun our trip. The woman was just leaving the bathroom when I leaned across to Will’s pod and grabbed his shoulder.

  “Hey, I’m just gonna go use the bathroom.” I gave him a meaningful look.

  He barely glanced up from his reading. “Okay.”

  My message was obviously not received. “Are you sure that’s okay?”

  Will’s brows furrowed as he gave me his full attention. “Josey, you don’t need to inform me every time you need to use the bathroom.”

  I tilted my head and made my voice husky. “Or do I?”

  He frowned. “What?”

  I huffed a long breath and stood from my seat, keeping my husky tone. “I’m going to urinate. You know where to find me.” I waggled my brows for effect. Will had to understand what waggled brows meant. The man sitting on the seat behind mine gave me a funny, vaguely offended look. Great, now I was lowering the tone of first class.

  Once I was shut inside the cubicle, which was slightly nicer than the ones in economy, I sat down on the closed toilet seat and waited. I didn’t actually need to pee. Obviously.

  I waited a full five minutes and still he didn’t show. Another five went by before there was a knock on the door.

  Finally.

  Feeling a fizzle of excitement in my belly, I unlocked the door and poked my head through. Unfortunately, it wasn’t Will on the other side, but a slightly annoyed-looking flight attendant. The same one I’d been ogling earlier on.

  “Miss, is everything okay in there?”

  “Yes, everything’s fine. My apologies. I get a bit of a dodgy tummy when I fly.”

  He gave a sympathetic look. “Would you like some hot water and lemon? Some peppermint tea perhaps?”

  “No, that’s not necessary. I feel much better now.”

  I moved by him and the several passengers waiting to use the bathroom. Now I felt bad for making them wait. Stupid Will and his stupid non-understanding of my sexy invitation.

  I sat back down in my seat and folded my arms before letting out an irritable huff.

  Will glanced over. “You okay? You were in there a while.”

  I pursed my lips. “I’m fine.”

  His face showed concern. “You sure? Do you get sick on flights much?”

  “Nope. I was just enjoying a nice, long leisurely pee.”

  Will gave a soft laugh. “Okay.”

  I exhaled another gruff breath, supremely annoyed.

  “Josey.”

  “What?” I snapped.

  “Are you really okay?”

  “You were supposed to come meet me,” I blurted, cheeks reddening.

  There was a beat of silence. “Meet you where?”

  “In the bathroom,” I whisper-hissed, my embarrassment increasing by the second.

  At long last, Will’s eyes widened in understanding. Then he frowned. Then he appeared amused.

  “Oh.”

  I threw my hands up. “Finally, he gets it.”

  His voice held affection. “Joining the mile-high club is not as fun as it sounds, Josey.”

  “How do
you know? Have you done it before?”

  “No, but I can imagine. I don’t do well in small spaces.”

  Oh, right. Sometimes I forgot just how big he was. Most of the time we were sitting down next to each other, so it was easy to forget.

  He spoke quietly. “I mean, we could do some stuff, sure, but anything else wouldn’t be very enjoyable,” Will went on. “Though I am flattered that you want to.”

  “Do you still want to?” I asked, and immediately wished the question back.

  But the truth was, this whole thing was absurd, and it was the absurdity of it that I kept coming back to. What were we doing? How did this happen? And why me?

  To be clear, I wasn’t being down on myself. I knew I had skillz in bed, just like I knew I said odd things at the worst time and—yes—I kinda looked like a bug. I was just being realistic. I was no more “kept woman” material than I was marriage material for a guy like William Moore. This, none of it, made any sense.

  “Do I still want to what?”

  Suddenly, I was shy, unable to look directly at him. “To, you know, do stuff on this trip.”

  He didn’t respond right away, so I peeked at him. Will was looking at me like I was a fruitcake rolled in nuts.

  “Of course I do. Why would you even ask me that?”

  Because you could have anyone. So why me?

  I refused to say that. So instead I said, “Sometimes you’re hard to read.”

  Will didn’t speak for a second. Then, quick as a flash he undid his seatbelt, leaned across to me and grabbed my face in his hands. His eyes wandered from my forehead, down my nose, and lips. They rose back to meet my eyes and his look was fierce. He bent and pressed a kiss to my cheek, then another to my jaw. I trembled all over. He moved like he was going to kiss my lips, but then stopped, exhaling a frustrated sounding breath.

  Will brought his hand to my mouth and softly brushed his thumb across my lower lip. “Is this hard to read?” he murmured.

  My throat ran dry as I croaked. “Nope. Not at all.”

  “Good.”

  With that, he returned to his seat like nothing had even happened. I glanced around, certain we’d have an audience, but no one was paying us any attention. I settled back into my pod and closed my eyes.