Her words don’t register until I walk in and stop mid-stride. There’s someone in front of Sasha’s tented legs with a machine on her stomach. That’s not what has me stunted. Instead, I’m faced with a woman holding Sasha’s hand that is the spitting image of her, only older, and she’s beaming at me.
I resist the urge to run out of the room when she speaks, and Sasha shoots me a wicked, conspiring glare.
“Ren! We’ve been waiting for you. You’re in time.” The woman waves me to the table and points to the screen. “The sonographer just started. Here’s your baby!”
She’s clearly excited to see her grandchild, and my heart drops.
Sasha set me up. She knew I’d be here today through the communication of our lawyers. I’m a lame duck, and she’s daring me to act out in front of her mom.
Well played, bitch.
I stay standing and don’t miss the disappointment on her mom’s face when I don’t step closer. Instead, I give the sonographer a chin jerk, urging her to go on. She moves the instrument over Sasha’s stomach and points out a few different limbs. I’m too shocked to comprehend most of what she says but stare at the vivid screen, knowing my child is there.
The need to have Bizzy close suddenly overwhelms me, and I realize this is a colossal mistake. How’d I think she’d be okay with this?
I force myself to pay attention until the sonographer moves away and pictures pour out of the machine.
Sasha’s mom looks at me expectantly, waiting… For what? I don’t know.
I glance at the pictures again.
I should want one.
I should have one.
I should demand one.
Then, the most grating and obnoxious sound echoes through the room as Sasha starts laughing. “Mom, I think he’s finally speechless.”
I shake inside at the sound of her voice.
“What’s wrong, Ren?” she asks like it’s the most normal thing in the world for us to have a conversation.
I suck in hard, swallowing the hatred for her… for myself. “Nothing. It seems like everything is progressing normally.” I look at the poor, confused sonographer for confirmation.
She nods.
“I’ll be at the next appointment.”
I turn and rush through the door without another word until I hear Sasha’s mom calling me.
“Ren!” She steps into the hall, closing the door behind her.
Out of pure respect, I stop and take a few breaths as she makes her way to me.
“I know this is not ideal, but it’ll work out fine. No one is angry anymore. There’s no need to be scared of me or my reaction. We welcome you into our family and can’t wait to get to know you better. We understand.”
“What exactly do you understand?” I ask, dumbfounded.
“Sasha told us you are barely seeing each other. This is a surprise, but you’re both excited. We accept it.”
“But we’re not seeing each other. We never were. There actually is no ‘we’ at all,” I blurt out blindly, sucking in my words and wishing my PR team was here to handle this.
She steps back, her whole demeanor changing. “What are you saying?”
“Mrs. Crane, I think you need to talk to Sasha.”
“I’m afraid that won’t do. I’m talking to you, and frankly, I don’t like what I’m hearing. Are you saying Sasha is pregnant with your baby, and you’re not even dating her?”
“You need to discuss this with Sasha.”
“I said no!” Her voice escalates, turning a few heads our way.
“With all due respect, this is not something I feel comfortable with.” I lower my own voice, trying to calm her.
The door to Sasha’s exam room opens, and she walks out. When she sees me talking to her mom, she pastes on a fake smile and comes to us. “Ren, you stayed. Mom was so disappointed when I explained you had to get back to work so quickly.”
If she thinks I’m playing this game, she’s a lunatic.
“Actually, I’m on my way out now. Anything with billing and financials has been handled. My lawyer will be in touch.”
Her jaw drops as her face starts to turn red. Her cool attitude disappears, and I can tell she’s about to blow.
Not in the mood for another scene with her, I flick my hand goodbye and leave her staring at my back.
When I get to the car, I call Caldwell and give him details of the appointment and tell him to move forward with our next steps.
Then I drive straight to Bizzy’s house. In less than two hours, we’ll be on a plane and away from all this shit for the next few days. It can’t come soon enough.
“I can’t believe she’s wearing his jersey. It feels like betrayal,” Nick whines, staring at Bizzy’s back as she jumps up, clapping, cheering, and high-fiving everyone around her.
I’d like to tell him how much I agree but not for the same reasons. He’s used to her only cheering for him and wearing shirts with his name. I, on the other hand, can’t stand to see the name Palos plastered across her shoulders.
“It’s a whole different sport. Grow some balls.” Mathis punches him in the arm, causing him to grunt loudly.
Bizzy looks over her shoulder and narrows her eyes between the three of us suspiciously. She’s seated next to my boss, his wife, and Joe’s retiring agent. I tilt my beer to her with a smirk. She gives me a wink then turns back to the game.
“Never thought I’d see the day Crenshaw Bennett would give up a guy’s weekend with his brothers, at game three of the World Series, and bring his girlfriend.” Nick blows out a low whistle. “Talk about growing some balls.”
Mathis chuckles as I growl.
“Told you there was no fucking way I was leaving her at home. Even without all this shit going on, I wanted her here.”
“You’ll have to let her out of your sight at some point.”
“Not anytime soon. Letting her out of my sight means giving her time to think about what a fuck-up I am. The risks of her leaving my sorry ass are much larger if I’m not around to remind her how much I love her.”
“When are you going to give yourself a break? It was a mistake, Shaw. It could have happened to any of us. You’re doing the right thing, so it’s time you have some faith in yourself and in Bizzy. She’s stronger than you think.” Mathis steps in front of me, blocking my view of her.
I step to the right, he steps to the left, remaining in my path. Nick moves to his shoulder, caving me in and forcing me to meet their worried stares.
“I’ll give myself a break when I can close my eyes and not replay the pure anguish and torture on Bizzy’s face when she found out about the baby.”
“So, never?” Nick rumbles, undoubtedly knowing my thoughts.
“Boys, why are you huddled in the back of this box when there’s a game happening?” Bizzy wiggles in between us all.
“Nick’s pouting about your choice of shirts,” I semi-lie, trying to hide the seriousness of our conversation.
She rolls her eyes and places her hands on her hips, directing her aggravation to him. “Still? Joe sent this to me. I want to support him. You should want to support him, too! He’s a new client of Shaw’s, and he could win a World Series at the age of twenty-five. That’s incredible. Stop being a big baby!”
Mathis and I don’t try to hide our amusement at her tearing into Nick, who’s looking at her with his own lips twitching.
“Not to mention, his popularity and success is helping Shaw pay for the fancy as hell boat being delivered next week.”
At this, Nick’s face falls, and he shoves his beer at Mathis. He bends to pick her up, but she’s faster, scattering around to use me as protection.
“That’s not funny, Lizbeth. Take it back.”
“It is funny. You should have seen your face. Such a sour sport!” She vibrates against my back, giggling.
He opens his mouth to argue, but I shoot him a glare, telling him to shut up. This is the f
irst time in weeks she’s been playful and carefree. Fuck his pride.
I twist into her, lowering until we’re eye level, and drop my mouth on hers. She smiles against my lips, using her tongue to trace them. A rumble rolls in my throat, and she throws her arms around my shoulders, kissing me quickly before breaking away.
“You’re not jealous of me wearing Joe’s shirt, are you?”
“Insanely jealous. Possessiveness pulsates through my veins. But knowing tonight, I’ll be deep inside you, naked in my arms, screaming my name, helps tamper the urge to rip it off.”
Loud yells erupt around us as everyone in the box stands cheering. Someone screams about a homerun, but I don’t even look.
All I see is the beauty shining in Bizzy’s eyes. For the first time since Sasha showed her face at my office almost six weeks ago, I have a sense of happiness.
Chapter 20
Shaw
“You have some nerve! Where the hell have you been?” Sasha’s shrill screech jolts me, and I spin in my chair to find her barging into my office.
I make a quick excuse and hang up the phone, looking around for Gail, and remember she’s notarizing some documents in the conference room.
“How the hell did you get in here?”
“I’m the one asking the questions! Where the hell have you been?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Bullshit!”
I ignore her long enough to send Gail a text to get back here. Then I stand and move as far opposite from Sasha as possible. The last thing I need is her to fabricate any kind of lie while we have no witnesses.
“Answer me. Where have you been? I’ve been trying to contact you for a week.”
“I’ll remind you, all communication goes through Caldwell.”
“That’s ridiculous, Ren! We’re having a baby, and what you did to me last week with my mom was terrible. I was humiliated!”
“Not my problem.”
Come on, Gail! Hurry!
“It is your problem, too! My mom was so excited and you ruined it! ”
“You told her we were a couple. You lied to her.”
“I had to! You left me no choice.”
“Not my monkey, not my circus.”
If looks could kill, I’d be a dead man. Her eyes grow so wide, I see the blood vessels straining. Splotches form up her arms and across her chest. Her hands move to her stomach protectively, and she hisses when she speaks. “Do you have no decency? We’re having a baby, and you—”
“Shaw? Should I call security?” Gail finally comes in.
“No, but I think it’s time we figure out how Miss Crane continues to get through reception.”
“For God’s sake, who cares? We have things to discuss, privately.” Sasha sits down and gives Gail a dismissive glance.
It’s all I can do to hold in my laugh as Gail’s body goes stiff.
“If you insist on staying, I’m going to ask Gail remain as a witness. And I’ll require a recording of our conversation.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Sasha, we’re both lawyers. We didn’t get to our positions by being stupid.” I catch the slip-up and click my tongue against my teeth. “Well, at least, not academically stupid. My judgment is questionable.”
Both women gasp, but Gail slips out and returns a few seconds later with her recorder.
“So, do you agree to record this conversation for our lawyers? If not, the conversation is over.”
“Yes,” she says through gritted teeth.
Gail nods, indicating she is ready.
“Why are you here?”
“Where have you been? I’ve tried contacting you for a week. It’s irresponsible for you to disappear without my knowing your whereabouts. I could have needed you.”
“Why would you need me?”
“The baby.”
“Is the baby okay?”
“Yes, but that’s not the point.”
“It is the point. If you need me for anything to do with the baby, my lawyer knows how to contact me. If not, Gail will always know how to call. You have both their numbers. But since you seem so interested, I went out of town for work. I have a client in the World Series then spent some time with business associates.”
She stirs in the chair, greed flaring in her eyes at the mention of the World Series.
“I’d like to have a copy of your schedule, to know when you’re out of town.” She pauses and looks at Gail uncomfortably then lifts her chin to me. “I’d also like to know where you live.”
“No.” The thought of her stopping by unannounced and Bizzy answering the door pops in my head.
“Ren, I think it’s time you understand we are having a child. I’ll need to know—”
“Sasha, stop. When the time comes, we will work out a schedule for the child. But for now, we are playing it straight. As this pregnancy progresses, I’ll open my doors to you and the social worker that will be a part of our custody agreement. If you don’t feel comfortable with my home, we’ll discuss it at that time. But that’s it.”
“WHAT CUSTODY AGREEMENT?” She bolts up. “What the hell are you planning?”
“I’d prefer if we discuss this further into the pregnancy.”
“How can you be so aloof, so clinical? I’m almost seventeen weeks pregnant. It’s time we start communicating and thinking about the future. Like it or not, this will be our child for life. I’ve said it before, but I’ll repeat—I deserve your respect.”
“How am I disrespecting you? It’s you who shows up at my office, screaming and making a scene. It’s you who lied to your parents about us being a couple. I’ve committed to any and all financial responsibility. I’m doing what I think is best for everyone involved.”
“You think money is the answer? How about some support here? I see it in your eyes, Ren. You blame me for this, but I wasn’t alone in that bed. You were right there with me. If I remember correctly, you loved every second of it.”
I shudder at her statement and swallow the shame crawling up my throat.
“Sasha, that’s the problem. I don’t remember it, any of it. Not one minute of it. I’m not trying to be cruel, nor am I trying to be an asshole, but it’s the truth. This whole thing is a mystery to me. The one thing I do know is I used a condom. I understand the scientific aspects, but how exactly did you end up pregnant?”
Sasha inhales sharply and sits back down, holding her stomach. I realize I’ve probably gone too far.
“You know what? Don’t answer that because it’s a moot point now. I’m doing what I think is best here. What more do you want?”
“How about some compassion and support? Treat me like more than the woman you knocked up. You have no idea what this is like for me.”
Gail slices her eyes to mine, and I picture Bizzy and my mom in my head telling me to tread lightly. This is a hormonal woman. She’s liable to go off the rails, and I don’t want to be responsible for it.
“What would you like, Sasha? What are your demands? What did you have in mind?”
“We work together on this.”
“How?”
“I think it’s time we start getting to know one another better, introduce our families. My mom is offering to have your family over for brunch to break the ice.”
“Sasha…” I sigh and hang my head. “We will do all that, at some point. I’m not stupid. I know our families will be interconnected, but not now. I think emotions are too raw. Speaking for my family, they are still letting the news settle.”
“Believe me, Ren, my family is in shock, too. But for the sake of family and unity, I’m willing to put my anger aside and start fresh. A clean slate. We can handle the rest as it comes.”
The implications are once again there—she expects more from me.
“Are you dense?” I lash out, and Gail tsks me. I feel her disapproving stare, telling me to reign it in.
“I apologi
ze for that comment, Sasha. That was unnecessary. But I’m not sure you understand so I’ll lay it out clearly. Listen to what I’m saying. I want to be a part of this child’s life. My family wants that, too. It is my job to work with you and figure out a situation that works best once the baby is born. You are right about putting our anger aside and having a clean slate. However, there is no relationship between us outside of being parents.”
She stares at me intently for a few seconds and nods, standing up.
“I didn’t think you were this type of man. Is it too much to expect a little decency? You asked earlier what I wanted from you. Let’s start with respect.”
“You have to earn my respect, Sasha, and so far, you’ve done a poor job of proving that you can be rational. This is the second time you’ve burst into my office with your claws out. Not to mention, your explosions in front of our lawyers.”
“You’re hardly one to talk about being rational, but I’m done. Like I mentioned, the slate is clean. You can turn that off now, Gail. I’ll be leaving.” She walks to the door and turns to me as she opens it.
“I’ll leave you with this, Ren. After the initial shock wore off, I expected more from you. I didn’t think you’d be so callous and removed. But you’ve shown your true colors. Regardless of your grand plan, with your lawyer and your custody agreements, you need to remember I’m the mother. I have lawyers, too. It’s time you man up. This emotionally unavailable act won’t bode so well in front of a family court judge.”
She walks out, and I sigh in relief, sinking into the closest chair. I almost forget Gail is still in the room until she comes over and lays a hand on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry about that, Gail. Thank you for coming to help.”
“It’s fine. I’ll look into how she got up here.” She pauses, and I know she wants to say more.
“What is it, Gail?”
“Shaw, I say this because I care, and because I’m a mother and grandmother. Sasha is right. You are coming at this pregnancy very clinically and calculated. It’s smart what you’re doing with Caldwell, but I do think you’re avoiding the emotion attached with this. Sasha may be a bitch, but she’s still a pregnant woman. There are a lot of things you can’t understand. The hormones, the aches, the uncontrollable changes to her body, not to mention the impact on her emotional state. Her body is no longer her own. She’s growing a life inside her. It’s a beautiful thing. I was lucky enough to have a man who loved me by my side.”
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