by Exley Avis
There in Radford’s bed, with his arms tight around me and his weight pressing me into the pillows, I suddenly realised a corner of my heart had been waiting for him forever and that it had beat unevenly without him there.
He was my missing self. The key to unlock the second half of my life. The final piece in the jigsaw and the person who could complete me in ways I hadn’t yet dreamed of. I held him tighter, determined to do everything in my power to keep him by my side for the rest of time.
Because that night I finally found something I had no idea I’d been looking for.
It was Sunday evening before we came to our senses; sleeping in late on Saturday and spending the rest of the weekend making love. As had happened in Claridges, reality blurred in Radford’s arms and it was as if the world didn’t exist beyond those huge windows overlooking the Thames.
Wrapped in his duvet and propped up against a mountain of pillows, we talked for hours about everything and anything. Work. Family. Friends. Hopes. Dreams. Fears. Nothing held back and every corner of our respective lives explored.
“I’m looking forward to meeting your friends,” Radford said. “Are they all as bonkers as you?”
“You have no idea.” I rubbed my hand across his chest and down under the covers. “They’re all very beautiful too. Perhaps I ought to keep you to myself.”
“Are you the jealous type?”
“Insanely. And you’re such a pushover. We’d no sooner met than you were letting me kiss you in chambers. How can I be sure you’ll behave yourself?”
Laughing he rolled away from me and opened the drawer beside his bed. “Perhaps this will convince you.”
He held out a square, black box. I immediately knew it came from Bvlgari and that its contents would have been ruinously expensive. I hesitated.
“I can’t. It’s too much,” I said, overawed by his generosity.
But he talked me down. “Nothing’s too much for you.” He urged the box on me and laughed again. “Besides, if I find I can’t afford it, I’ll put Aiden’s fees up.”
Sitting up, I lifted the lid and my hand flew to my mouth when I stared at the contents: a delicate, white gold bracelet set with a dozen coloured stones; so exquisite, tears sprang to my eyes.
“It’s beautiful,” I gasped. “But I don’t deserve this.”
“Yes you do. And it’s nowhere near as beautiful as you.” Radford fastened the bracelet around my shaking wrist. “I wanted to show how much you mean to me.”
“I don’t need expensive gifts for that. I can tell by the way you kiss me and hold me.”
“Then let me spoil you too.”
I wasn’t going to fight him – every girl likes to be spoiled now and then, and I’d be sure to repay him in kind later. I snuggled back into the crook of his arm and held my hand high so the bracelet would catch the light.
“Not long after you went to Rome, Stephen Mercer was birthday shopping for his wife and I saw this,” Radford went on. “Believe it or not, it’s from Bvlgari’s Allegra collection and reminded me so much of you. I swore then that, if my very own Allegra ever came back to me, I’d buy it for her.”
“My very own Allegra,” I repeated, savouring the words. “I like the sound of that.”
“So do I. Although standing in Bvlgari that day I couldn’t let myself hope it would ever come true.”
Our weekend in Claridges felt half a lifetime away – a beginning and yet a brutal ending too. I didn’t blame Radford for not holding out any hope.
“Why does the bracelet remind you of me?” I asked. “Is it just the name?”
Radford caught my wrist and pointed to one of the warm, golden stones. “These are citrines,” he said, “and they’re honey coloured like your skin in candlelight. When I met you with Aiden, all I wanted to do was kiss your neck.”
“Yet you raced off to dinner with someone else,” I reminded him.
“Business, I swear. I’d rather have stayed with you. I’d been desperate for an excuse to see you since you came back to London.”
“And instead we met by chance.” I heard the deep rumble of laughter inside Radford’s chest and propped myself up to look at him. “What?”
“Do you honestly think it was a coincidence?” He grinned up at me. “Have you any idea how many strings I pulled to get myself invited to that party?”
“That’s so devious.” Although I liked that he’d made the effort. “Remind me to punish you later.”
“Oh, yes please.” His eyes flicked wide with anticipation and I kissed him as a down payment. “What about the other stones?” I asked when I’d done, holding out my bracelet for him to see. “How are they like me?” He’d no doubt feed me some terrible lines but he flirted so beautifully, I could have listened to him for hours.
“The peridots flash like your green eyes when you’re cross with me,” he went on. “You were angry that first morning in chambers and it was such a turn on.”
“You antagonised me deliberately.”
“Guilty as charged.” Although he didn’t look very sorry. “The garnets,” he growled, his voice laced with passion, “well…you know how much I love to see you in red.”
“Or out of it. You still owe me a new pair of knickers.”
He kissed the inside of my wrist, setting my pulse alight. “I know. I can’t wait to take you shopping.”
“And what about the diamonds?” I was shamelessly fishing for compliments now but I didn’t care.
“Precious; like you are to me.”
I’d heard enough lines from men in my life to recognise the real thing and looked down at Radford, searching his face for the merest hint he was playing with me.
But those big, blue eyes of his regarded me softly and his smile was warm and sexy. He was ridiculously handsome – the most handsome man I’d ever seen – and I’d have happily spent the rest of my life just gazing at him.
“You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever known,” I began, letting my heart and not my head do the talking for once. “You complete me – emotionally, intellectually, physically. From the moment I laid eyes on you my life changed for ever.”
“Mine too,” he admitted, running his hand down the length of my spine. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.”
“Scary, isn’t it?”
“I’m brave enough if you are.”
Not that it needed a great deal of courage to take the road I’d recently turned onto. Behind me lay my career path with its long hours, partnership prospects and snatched relationships. Ahead was unexplored territory – no road maps, no guidebooks and no guarantees, except for the knowledge that Radford would hold my hand all the way and never let me miss a step.
“I’m in love with you, Radford,” I said, my heart finally coming to rest after spending all night in freefall. “It feels like I always have been.”
“Are you sure?” His question had urgency and an edge of anxiety.
I’d never been more sure of anything in my life. “Utterly, completely and totally. I love you with parts of my heart I didn’t know existed. Head over heels. Body and soul. Past the point of no return.”
I swear he blushed with pleasure like a naïve schoolboy. “Sounds pretty positive to me.” He raised his head for a kiss, our lips barely touching but the connection felt intense. “Would you mind if I loved you back?”
I pretended to think about it. “I suppose it would be okay.”
“Good. Because I was going to anyway.” He rolled over on top of me and kissed me as though he hadn’t seen me in an age and had been longing to kiss me in all that time. “I love you too, Allie Lawless. I fell in love when I watched you sleeping at Claridges but I was too stupid to recognise it then and too proud to stop you going to Rome.”
I curled myself around him and kissed the underside of his throat, hearing him sigh contentedly. “If you’ve known all that time, why haven’t you told me before now?”
“Because I didn’t want to put you under pressure and d
rive you away again. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you a second time. I wanted you to make up your own mind at your own pace.”
My hand drew light circles across his bum. Ticklish as ever, he squirmed against me and pushed me deeper into the mattress.
“You have a sexy bum,” I told him needlessly. He had forty-eight hours’ worth of evidence to prove I found every inch of him irresistible.
“Is that what made you fall in love with me?”
“Quite possibly.”
I joked but a lump came to my throat and I pulled Radford tighter, unable to believe I’d been lucky enough to find him and have him fall in love with me too. He’d opened up a whole new world of love and belonging I’d never known existed and which I couldn’t wait to move into.
“My sexy bum hates the thought of waking up without you tomorrow morning. Let’s go to your flat now and collect the first of your things?”
The first of your things. It had a ring of permanence about it and I hesitated. “You mean move my stuff in here?”
Radford stopped kissing my breasts for a moment and looked up at me, puzzled. “Of course. I want to wake up to the warm smell of your skin and hear you breathing next to me as I drift off to sleep. What’s the point in living apart any longer?”
Loving Radford was one thing but moving in with him was something else entirely. The question was, how was I going to explain the difference to him? “Aren’t we taking things a little too fast?” I asked, hating the last remnants of caution holding me back from surrendering myself completely to him.
“Loving you has hit me like a steam train. We can’t go fast enough for my liking.” He moved back up the bed and switched on the bedside lamp to banish the gathering dusk. “What’s wrong?” His professional instincts smelled trouble and he scrutinised me for clues. “Your moving in is the next logical step in our relationship.”
I knew I’d sound pathetic but said my piece anyway. “I don’t want a relationship with you,” I explained, kissing away his words when his lips parted to argue. “I want a love affair.”
“A love affair?” For the first time ever, Radford came across something he couldn’t understand. “I’m sorry. You’ll have to run that by me again. What does that involve – no sex?”
“God forbid! I might be strong willed but I’m not carved from stone.” The thought of spending time with Radford and denying myself access to that sexy body of his made me go weak at the knees. “We met, we kissed, we fell into bed together. Twice over. We’ve completely skipped the dating part,” I explained. “And I want to date you. I want to flirt and send you stupid texts. To miss you. To look forward to seeing you.”
“Why miss each other when we can spend every waking minute in bed like this?” To back up his argument, Radford’s hand followed the curve of my breast and hips before moving inevitably between my legs. His thumb worked my clit while his fingers pressed inside me and my treacherous body responded immediately. “We can’t have this if you’re sleeping in Islington and I’m here.”
Fighting down my rising desire, I tried to maintain focus. “Getting ready for dinner on Friday, I had butterflies in my stomach. I loved dressing up for you, buying new underwear, meeting you at the restaurant. The anticipation was incredible.”
“For me too,” Radford admitted. “I was horny all day knowing we’d end up in bed together.”
He’d proved my point and I watched realisation dawn. “I’m in serious lust with you,” I said. “Head over heels, propped against a window and fucked from behind, lust with you. But it’s less than a month since we saw one another again. A week since we first kissed. I just want a few more weeks to date you before we move in together.”
“A few weeks?” He sounded like he’d hold me to it. “And then you’ll reconsider?” His lips found my nipple and closed around it, sucking away the last of my resistance.
“Depends how attentive you are,” I managed to gasp. “I want to be courted and won over.”
“Seduced and sent filthy texts.” Radford apparently had his own interpretation of dating.
“Charmed and wooed.”
“Kissed senseless and talked into bed.”
“Coaxed and flattered.”
“Groped in doorways and fucked at inopportune moments.”
“Worshiped and adored.”
“Corrupted at every available opportunity.”
I slapped Radford’s shoulder and he looked up from my navel, grinning broadly. “You’re not taking this seriously.” I glared and tried to look angry but he ran his tongue the length of my pussy and I melted against him.
“On the contrary, getting you naked in my bed is a very serious business indeed. Expect no mercy. I don’t like to lose. And as my opponents will tell you, I always, always¸ get exactly what I want.”
Chapter Eighteen
I have to admit that, when Allie first told me she wanted us to date rather than move in together, I didn’t like the sound of it. At all.
After six, lonely months of missing that incredible body of hers, I didn’t relish the thought of wasting another night sleeping alone. But, if courtship was what Allie needed, it’s exactly what she was going to get and I launched an all-out, play-to-win charm offensive.
Until I’d met Allie, seduction had been a few chat up lines in a bar, a bottle of good champagne and bit of slow dancing. I don’t like to brag, but it sometimes amazed me how many women fell for the same old tricks that resulted in mindless sex and my quick getaway.
Dating Allie took flirting up to a whole new level and, I confess, I loved thinking up new ways to woo and seduce her. In return, she was spectacularly creative and had me living in a permanent state of horniness that often knocked the sharpness off my cross examination in court and had my opponents asking whether I’d lost my edge.
“Meet me at the Corinthian Bar at seven thirty,” she’d text half way through the afternoon. “I’ll be wearing a blue dress and a blonde wig.”
We’d meet as strangers, she’d talk dirty to me, get me very drunk and then give me a hand-job in a dark alley before relieving me of £20 for the taxi ride home.
Demeaning and sordid, I know, but I’d never been so excited by a woman.
Another time she turned up at my apartment wearing nothing but a raincoat, red stilettos and a big smile. Or she’d surprise me in chambers where she’d kiss me like she had that first day and pull up her skirt to show me she wasn’t wearing any underwear.
And all within ten minutes of clients arriving for a conference.
She didn’t have it all her own way, however. When she moved back into her own flat in Clerkenwell, I’d turn up delivering pizza, or to mend the washing machine, or whatever other fantasy I could dream up, and which always resulted in tumultuous sex on the hall floor.
There was a hotter than hot week in Dubai over Christmas when the most Allie wore was a bikini and flip-flops and I thought my permanent hard on might get me arrested for indecency. In February, I surprised her with a weekend in the wilds of Yorkshire during which we were snowed in for four days. Trust me when I tell you that those fantasies about sex on the hearth rug in front of a log fire are all completely true. It might have been ten degrees below zero outside but we were boiling over nicely in the living room.
And all the while I found myself falling deeper and deeper in love with this beautiful woman who’d charged into my life, taken it over and made me happier than I deserved to be.
Beyond all reasonable doubt and with no leave to appeal.
She could enslave me with a look and inflame me with the merest touch, and we were naked so often it hurt to put my clothes on and go to work some days.
Not that it was all about the sex. As I’ve already told you, Allie brought out the hopeless romantic in me and there were nights I simply wanted to spend time with her, having dinner, holding hands across the table and telling her how much I loved her. She was beautiful, funny, extraordinary, sexy, and made me feel more of a man than any w
oman ever had.
Allie Lawless brought out my best side – and very often my naughty side too – but either way was just fine by her.
But, by far the best nights of all, were when I let myself into my apartment at the end of a long day to find her there waiting for me. Face scrubbed clean of make-up, hair piled up and wearing an old pair of jeans. She’d kiss me a long hello, hand me a glass of wine and send me for a shower while she finished cooking something amazing dinner. Afterwards we’d curl up on the sofa together to watch the late night news before going to bed to make love slowly and fall asleep in each other’s arms.
When I woke up the next morning and saw her face on the pillow next to me I’d fall in love with her all over again and spend the rest of the day aching for her.
Who’d have thought it of a cynical, old flirt like me?
One Friday night I arrived home to find her naked and on her knees in the hallway, with a suggestive look on her face and a bottle of champagne in her hand. After the obligatory filthy blow job, I caught my breath and asked her what we were celebrating.
“I’m letting out my flat again,” she said. “By the end of the month, I’ll be homeless unless I can find someone to take me in.”
“There’s a bed here for you in return for a few light, domestic duties,” I told her, stripping off the rest of my clothes and lying her down on the sofa so I could give her pussy the attention it deserved.
She gasped at the first sweep of my tongue across her clit and virtually purred. “But if I move in, I’m worried how often you’ll take advantage.”
I grinned up at her from my favourite place in the world – on my knees, between those endless legs of hers. “I promise to take advantage every single night of the week.”
“It’s a tempting offer.” She bit her lip against the rising sensations and tilted her hips to meet my hungry mouth. “I think I’ll sleep on it.”