by Alexa Davis
She giggled anxiously, totally disbelieving me. She knew me well enough these days to be able to see right through me. I liked that she knew me that well, and I enjoyed knowing her, too. I’d never bothered to get to know any woman before, but with Morgan I wanted to scoop every single piece of information from her brain.
“Hey, it’s even weirder for me. I know all the doctors here, so this is totally bizarre...”
At that moment, we were called into a small, weirdly-lit room, filled with odd machinery that I couldn’t even begin to understand. Morgan chatted to her friend for a moment, but I couldn’t even begin to join in. I couldn’t even hear what they were saying the buzzing was so loud in my ears. This was terrifying, and about to become even more of a reality than before.
I thought I was totally okay with it, but now it was hitting me all over again. Not that I had any intention of running...
“Right, Morgan, do you want to lie down on the gurney?” the doctor asked, with a kindness to his tone. “Then I’ll have to spread the ultrasound jelly across you – it is cold I’m afraid.”
I helped Morgan up and into a lying position, then I watched in awe as she pulled her top up to reveal what was definitely the beginning of a little bump. Ever since we came into this room, she seemed much more confident, whereas I had fallen apart. I tried not to let that show, though. I simply clamped my lips together and clutched hold of her hand.
“Oh my goodness, that really is cold,” she squealed as the blue jelly flew across her torso. “Does it have to be that cold? It’s like torture.”
They laughed. I didn’t. I was so scared that if I made any sound I might throw up all over her, and the last thing I needed was to be office gossip in the hospital where Morgan worked.
As the doctor ran his little device across Morgan’s stomach, I fixed my eyes on the screen. As fuzzy black and white shapes started to appear, my heart thumped and squeezed in my chest. I felt like it was pumping blood so hard and fast around my body that I could pop at any given moment. Thoughts raced through my mind so rapidly that they were tripping over one another, none of them making any sense.
I gripped tightly onto Morgan’s steady hand, trying to keep the shakes in mine discrete.
“Okay, this is it, this is your baby.”
Oh... My... God...
Everything stopped as the whole world zoned in on me and the image on the screen. That little bump was my child, and it was becoming clearer with each passing second. There was the head, the body, legs, maybe even an arm...
“Are you crying?” Morgan asked me incredulously, clearly ignoring the thick emotion in her own voice. “Oh, Terrance, that’s too much.”
My face was wet. I could feel all the emotion trickling down my face. That there on the screen was the life I had created. It was amazing, absolutely incredible. The love that warmed my chest felt boundless, more than I even knew I was capable of.
I was going to be a father, and now that I could see that for real, I couldn’t wait.
***
“I don’t know why you ever invite me around for dinner, I nearly always end up cooking,” Morgan laughed happily. “Although I do like cooking, so it isn’t too bad. And actually, it’s nice to have some time.”
Ever since seeing our baby, we were in our own little bubble of happiness, and I adored being there. We had a club that was just for us, and I loved that. I moved closer to Morgan and wrapped my arms around her back while she cooked. She paused what she was doing to fall against me for a moment, and we simply embraced one another, falling deeper into love.
As I saw our child up on the screen, I realized that my love didn’t just extend to the life in Morgan’s belly, but to her, as well. I knew that I liked her. I knew that I was falling, but now I was there. I was in love. I just wanted to wait for the right moment to tell her. I didn’t want her to think it was only for our child.
As Morgan pulled away from me to continue on with what she was doing, I went to grab the picture of our baby once more. “That was crazy today, wasn’t it? Doesn’t it feel strange that it was the first time we’ll ever see our child?” I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it; it was beautiful, magical, and wonderful.
“I know.” I could see Morgan’s body language shift as she thought about our child. She was in love with our baby, too, which made her incredible. “Did you get any feeling? What do think we’re having?”
“A boy,” I told her with utter certainty, nodding my head determinedly as I spoke. “We’re definitely having a boy.”
“You think?” She snatched the picture from me and grinned. “Because I’m pretty sure that we’re having a girl. In fact, I would be willing to bet money on it. I just have a feeling.”
“Oh well, you should know. I suppose you have the deepest bond.”
Morgan wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled her lips towards mine, connecting them together in an incredibly powerful kiss. I grabbed onto her hips and fixed her against my body, adoring the familiarity against me.
Now that I had Morgan, I could barely stand to remember that I’d ever found any appeal in sleeping with a selection of nameless faces. Why did I think that had ever made me happy? This was where true joy lay.
“Right, get off me now,” she said as she shoved me away playfully, turning back to the food cooking behind her. “I need to finish cooking. Sit down at the table because you’re in my way.”
“Anything you say, ma’am.”
As we ate, I couldn’t stop sneaking looks at Morgan, smirking to myself every time. Her beauty shone through, even today when she had her comfortable sweat pants on and her hair pulled off her face. Her inner gorgeousness brightened up her face, making me desperately want to kiss her with every passing second.
“Will you stop it?” she suddenly snapped, catching me looking at her. She wasn’t angry though, she was smiling to herself just as much as I was her.
“I’m sorry, I just can’t help myself. You’re so very pretty.” There was a teasing to my tone, but the words were real. She really was the most stunning woman I’d ever known.
She gave me a coy smile, and she stood up to grab hold of me. “Well, if you aren’t going to stop looking, then I suppose I’ll have to take you to bed then, won’t I?”
“But my dinner...” I acted like I didn’t want to leave my food, but Morgan knew me far better than that. She knew that I couldn’t resist her, however hard I tried.
“Later,” she snapped. “Priorities, God!”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Morgan
Saturday, One Week Later
The scent of coffee wafted up my nose, stirring me into a waking position way before I was ready for it. Mind you, I never wanted to wake up when I was in Terrance’s bed because his mattress was so damn comfortable. At least I was way over the stage where I’d struggle to recall where I was because it wasn’t home. I’d spent enough time in this bed now to know that I was here. My second home, so to speak.
“Terrance, where are you?” I groaned into the pillow. “I can smell coffee and it has me craving.”
“Good job I’ve made you some then.” I could hear his voice before I could see him, so I forced myself into a sitting position to wait for him, managing to pull the sheets up to fully cover my naked body just in time.
I knew that it was a pregnancy bump, and so did Terrance, but I couldn’t help feeling subconscious that maybe I just appeared a little bit on the chubby side at the moment.
My breath sucked out of my body for a split second as Terrance walked into the room, in the way that it always did when I saw him for the very first time each day. His stunning looks always blew me away, and I had the strong feeling that they always would. Sometimes it took me a moment to remember that he was mine.
“You look beautiful this morning.” he grinned as he handed me a mug. “But then again, you always do.”
I sipped my drink, sucking back the compliment like it was keeping me breathing. “Thank you.”
“You know what, I’ve been thinking.” His tone of voice stilled my heart for a second. He was about to tell me something very serious, I could tell, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear it or not. “I’ve been thinking that we’ve come very far in the past few weeks.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” I coughed a little awkwardly, wondering where the hell this was going.
“But maybe not quite far enough. You’re mine, you’re having my baby, so it doesn’t make any sense for you to live a million miles away from me.”
“I don’t, it really isn’t-” I started, but he leapt in, talking right over me.
“It’s too far. I want our baby to grow up here. I want you to be here all the time. I guess what I want to ask is if you’ll move in with me.”
“Oh my...” It was what I wanted, and it made a whole lot of sense, but it still felt a little overwhelming. Terrance wanted me to live here, with him. It was like a dream come true, and I couldn’t believe it. I was so lucky!
“Well, I would love that, I just...” My eyes welled up, the emotion getting the better of me in the way I was getting a lot recently. It was safe to say that pregnancy hormones really had me at their command. “I’m a little overwhelmed. This is too much.”
“I’ll get a truck over to your home today to pick up your things, if you like? There’s no point in waiting, is there? It’s a little nearer to your work, and then when we buy any baby stuff, it can all just be here. We can start getting prepared sooner rather than later.”
“Yeah, sure, that sounds lovely.” A vision of our baby’s home came to life in my eyes. I could picture the nursery, the stroller, the crib, and I liked the way it looked. “Thank you, that sounds amazing.”
I drank more of my coffee, simply trying to keep the happy tears to a minimum. It was crazy to weep at every little thing, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. My heart was everywhere, my brain was all over the place – it was just lucky that I would get a lovely baby at the end of it all.
“Well, I suppose we better get started then,” I announced with conviction. “Big day today, after all.”
***
“We don’t have to unpack all this today, do we?” I asked Terrance doubtfully. “I didn’t think I had anything. I can’t believe how many boxes there are.”
They took up more of the living room than I cared to acknowledge. The right thing to do would’ve been to get it all sorted, but I felt overwhelmed by it all. I was already exhausted, and I didn’t know where to begin. “I’ll do it over the next few days, honest.”
“Will you stop worrying?” Terrance insisted with a lovely smile. “It doesn’t matter to me how long it takes you to unpack, just as long as you’re here. You just sit on the couch. I’ll go and make you something to drink.”
I fell into the comfort of the couch, embracing the warmth I felt surrounding to me. It would take me a while to accept this totally as my home – maybe it would come easier once my stuff was all unpacked – but at least I felt comfortable here.
As he sat down next to me with the drinks, I felt a tension in his shoulders, something weighing down heavily on him that he needed to share, but in typical Terrance style, he didn’t know where to begin. “What’s wrong?” I asked him softly. “You seem tense.”
“I have something to tell you,” he admitted, which had my heart hammering loudly. “I found it out a couple of days ago, but it’s taken me a while to get my head around it.”
“Right, what’s that?” I had to gulp down, to keep my emotions inside.
“Braxton has been doing some digging, into my family history, and he found out the information I never thought I’d discover.”
My mind reeled as I tried to work out exactly what this could be, but I came up with nothing. There was just too much in Terrance’s complex family history, and now that it had been put behind us, we didn’t discuss it anymore. Or so I thought.
“I didn’t ask him to look into it, but Braxton knew that I needed to know. He...he found out why I grew up without a mom.”
Oh God, this was huge – monumental in fact. I knew that this bothered Terrance, even if he didn’t like to admit it. The loss of his mother and the lack of knowledge about what had happened to her was eating away at him all the time.
“She didn’t leave. I guess I always thought that was what happened even if I didn’t like to admit it; she died. She...she had trouble with drugs. Maybe this predated her meeting my dad, maybe not. I guess I won’t ever know everything, but when my brother and I were young, she overdosed. She died. I don’t know whether it was on purpose or not, but at least I know something.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said redundantly, stroking his arm. “How does that make you feel?”
“Well, I’m glad to know. I think she might always have been this thing in my mind if not, something that would’ve troubled me for life. It’s sad that she’s dead, and there are a lot of holes in the story still, but the majority of it is there. I think now I can move on.”
He stood up and paced the room, lost in his own thoughts. I wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, to make things better, but I couldn’t. I felt like he needed to be lost in his own mind for a while.
“You aren’t with me for the money, are you?” he asked me, almost as if he didn’t realise what he was saying.
“No, of course not. I would never... It hasn’t even....” Why was he asking this? Did he suspect I was? I’d never done anything to give him that impression.
“I mean, it’ll be good for our child to grow up comfortable, but we don’t need it all, do we?”
“Erm, no of course not.” I agreed with him, but I had no idea where this was going with this. He was pensive and a little stressed, and there was nothing I could do about it.
“Okay, then I need to do something. Wait here a moment.” I remained fixed in one place while he shimmied into the bedroom and came back out clutching onto a briefcase. “Right, come with me.”
I leapt up, unsure if questions were necessarily right about now. I had a feeling that I just needed to go with this to see where Terrance was headed. There was a mania to his steps as he took me into the elevator, but as he hit the button of the floor Braxton lived upon I knew everything would be alright. At least we were only going to his home!
I hid behind Terrance as he hammered on the door, still trying to figure out where this moment was taking us. Some strange things were just spoken about, and I was worried that maybe this knowledge of his mother was playing havoc on him in a way that he hadn’t yet discussed.
“Hold on, coming!” As Braxton swung the door open, Terrance pushed his way inside, and I followed meekly with an apology on my face. “Terrance, is everything okay?”
“Everything is good, yes... At least, I think so.” He paced the apartment, clutching onto the briefcase as if it contained state secrets within it. “Thanks to you, I mean, you’ve been a great support and a friend to me. I never could’ve done any of that without you.”
“Oh well, you know I don’t mind...” Braxton blushed, trying to take the compliment in the way that it was intended, but Terrance kept running his mouth at a million miles an hour.
“This is the money we managed to receive for the loan sharks, but wasn’t needed to be paid off, after all. I have it here, and I want to give it to you. I don’t feel like I need you as a bodyguard anymore, so I want you to have this. I want you to have this money and I’m going to give you more, too.”
“No, boss, I don’t want any of that...”
“Nonsense, this is what I want. You’ve gone above and beyond in so many ways – you took a bullet for me, you discovered my mom’s fate, you...you moved here just to be close to me. Trust me, Braxton, this is what I want.”
He slid the briefcase across the table, and Braxton stared at it with utter bewilderment. “I don’t need any of this. I would’ve done it anyway...”
“This is happening – take it.” They stared at one another in a stand off, on
e that I just knew Terrance would win. “Braxton, I love you. I want you to have this. It’ll mean everything to me if you take it.”
“Oh well, thank you.” Braxton blushed and shrank in on himself, but he accepted, knowing that there was no point in arguing any longer. “Thank you, boss, it’s... Well, it’s great.”
As I watched everything start to make sense, I couldn’t help but smile. Terrance was giving some of his wealth up to the friend who had always been there for him, and that only made me love him more. He was kind, generous, sweet...the perfect father for my unborn child. I rubbed my bump, mentally telling my baby that her (or his, I wasn’t totally set on the gender, I was only winding Terrance up with that) dad was the best man around.
Terrance sensed my eyes upon him, and he turned to face me with glee on his expression. We shared a moment of sheer love, and in that moment, I felt like everything was complete.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Terrance
Next Saturday
“Hey there, sleepyhead,” Morgan’s voice burst through into my dreams, like the angel she would always be to me. “You have to wake up now, as you know we have a big day today.”
Oh God. The knowledge of what the day held flooded through me, spiking ice cold terror into my heart. “Oh no, do we have to?” I feel like a terrified teenager, about to be dragged in front of the angry principal. “Can’t we phone in sick?”
“This isn’t work,” Morgan’s tinkling giggle was the only sound that could possibly get me to open up my eyes. “We have to go. I know you’re scared but it’ll be okay, I promise you.”
I took the plate of breakfast from her and smiled as thinly as I could. “You have to know, I’ve never met someone’s mom before. This is utterly terrifying for me.”
“Trust me, it’s scary for me, too. I don’t exactly have the best relationship with my mom.” She rolled her eyes, reminding me of the strain she’d told me about. A mother who couldn’t understand her ambition or lifestyle. A woman who assumed she should be a home maker, a family woman.