by Alexa Davis
“This might help, right? I mean, you’re finally giving her everything she wants.” I stroked Morgan’s swollen belly, my heart pounding with excitement. “She wants you to have a baby and a man.”
“Yes, and it kills me to give her what she wants, but I suppose this might go some way to bridging the gap. Who knows, maybe we’ll be a normal family after all.” She laughed mirthlessly and rolled her eyes again. “It’s just lucky that she doesn’t live near enough to visit all the time.”
“Maybe I’ll ask her to move in,” I teased. “Just for the first few weeks when the baby is born. We might need her help, it’ll be such a difficult time...”
“Don’t you dare,” she growled back at me. “Let’s just get through this and get back to normal. Eat your breakfast. I’m hopping in the shower. I’ll be back in a moment.”
As she left me alone, the terror came in thick and fast. This was actually much scarier than going to face the damn loan sharks. Then I was scared, but now I was utterly petrified. Facing Morgan’s partly-estranged mother was scarier than anything else in the world.
I ate as much of my breakfast as I could manage to get into my twisting and churning stomach, then I hopped up to look into my wardrobe to try and decide what to wear. I didn’t want to look too rich or too try hard, but I didn’t want to look scruffy, either. I needed to give the right impression that I was a nice man who loved her daughter very much.
Even if I hadn’t yet told Morgan that yet.
“Okay, shirt, no tie. Jeans, but nice shoes,” I muttered to myself. “That will have to do.”
As I tugged the clothing on and glanced in the mirror, I was dissatisfied with my appearance, but I knew it would have to do. I certainly didn’t want to turn into a crazed man who tried on a million different outfits. This would be fine.
“Oh, you look nice,” Morgan squealed as she entered the room with only a towel wrapped tightly around her body. “Really lovely.”
“You don’t look too bad yourself,” I growled at the sight of all her very naked flesh on show. “Come on, let’s blow this thing off and stay in bed all day.”
I pawed at her, trying to remove her towel for a brief glimpse of her, but she was having none of it. “Get off me, you fool,” she chuckled. “I have the perfect dress to wear today, one that hides my bump so I can tell Mom before she realizes. I don’t want to waste a good day of shopping just because you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”
“Fine,” I playfully pouted. “But later on...”
“Yes, yes, later on. Afterwards.”
The afterwards would be great – it was just the before that I had to worry about.
***
Oh God.
We stood outside the door of Morgan’s mother’s home, waiting for her to answer the door, with my heart hammering in my chest the entire time. Nerves cascaded through me. I wanted to turn and run about a million times, but I didn’t. Morgan’s hand fixed me in place, doing it’s best to reassure me when nothing else could.
The door swung open and a woman who looked a lot like Morgan smiled happily at us both. “Oh, hello, I wasn’t expecting you so early.” She stepped aside and indicated for us to go inside. Morgan embraced her mother inside the door, leaving me awkwardly waiting by her side. “It’s lovely to meet you. I’m Viv.” Her graying hairs wisped around her face and her dark blue eyes stared deep into my soul; time had treated her well.
As she smiled at me, all my fears floated to the side. Despite everything that Morgan had told me about her mother, she seemed like a very sweet woman to me. Chances were she probably had her daughter’s best interests at heart, it just didn’t comply with what Morgan wanted for herself.
“I’m Terrance.” I smiled and shook her hand.
“Come in, sit down, I’ll make drinks.” Viv showed me where the living room was and I made my way inside. The room was filled with a pinkish, floral design and family pictures hanging on the walls.
“I’m just going to pop to the bathroom,” Morgan gave me a bashful look, but I nodded at her, trying to let her know that I would be okay.
I moved around the room and examined the pictures closer. There were images of Morgan that I’d never thought I would see – a slightly awkward teenager, a super cute child, surrounded by friends, on her graduation day. It was nice to see the sides of the woman I loved that I might not get to know otherwise.
“Here, oh!” Viv’s voice made me jump as she came back into the room. “Yes, I bet you haven’t seen any pictures of Morgan as a child before; she’s so secretive about things like that.”
“I know,” I chuckled. “She always lives in the present moment, doesn’t she?”
“Yes,” Viv sighed deeply as she sat down. “I’ve always tried to make her see into the future, just a little bit. She’s always resented me for that. I guess I always wanted better for her than I got myself, not that Morgan will ever see it that way.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, it didn’t feel like it was my place to say anything really. This wasn’t a part of Morgan’s life that I’d ever had any involvement in. I took my drink and sat back down, just waiting for Morgan to appear.
I sat back and listened intently as they caught up for a while, sharing the sort of small talk that mothers and daughters should discuss every single day. It was a shame that things had gotten so difficult between them. I just hoped that the baby would go some way to healing that rift.
“Actually.” Eventually Morgan turned to face me and she grabbed my hand, dragging me back into the conversation. “Terrance and I haven’t just come here for a social visit...”
“Oh, and there was me thinking you’d come to introduce me to this very important man in your life.” Viv put down her cup delicately and folded her hands into her lap while she looked at us intently. “Please, go on.”
“Erm...” Morgan’s face flushed, she hunched her shoulders over awkwardly. I would’ve jumped in and told her the news on her behalf, but it wasn’t my place to do so. “Actually, we... We’re...having a baby.”
“Oh my God.” Viv’s hands clapped across her lips, her entire expression lit up with joy. “Oh my goodness, are you serious? Is this real?”
She didn’t wait for an answer – she simply leapt up and grabbed us both into a warm family hug. She held us to her as the tears fell down her face, happiness swirling in her expression. I felt a warmth deep in my chest as I was embraced by this family, as I was invited in without the words actually being spoken.
“Yes, Mom,” Morgan finally jumped in. “I’m serious, we’re having a baby.” She pulled the ultrasound picture out of her bag and handed it to her weeping mother. “We don’t know what we’re having or anything, but there he or she is, your little grandchild.
“Oh congratulations,” Viv cooed, drinking in the picture like it was absolutely everything. “This is the best news ever.”
Morgan clung to me like I did her, the love in the room circling us both. We had it all, we were so lucky, and things were only on the up from here.
***
“How does it feel?” I asked Morgan happily. “You’re finally in now, the last box is unpacked. Does it feel more like your home?” Her things littered the place, filling up areas I didn’t even know that there was space, and I liked having her encroach upon me, it felt amazing.
“It does actually. And, I’m glad we can finally move freely about the place, sorry it took me so long to get organized.”
“It doesn’t bother me.” I shrugged, genuinely the happiest that I’d ever been in my life.
I couldn’t hold it back any longer – the words were sitting on the edge of my lips, bursting to get out. I wasn’t even sure why I’d held back for this long, it seemed ridiculous now. All I wanted to do was set every single emotion inside of me free.
“Come outside with me,” I begged on impulse. “Let’s go and take a look at the night sky. It’s been such a nice day, and I want to round it off perfectly.”
“Sure, whatever you want.” She pursed her lips as she thought. “And actually, it was a nice day, much better than I expected. Mom was okay today, wasn’t she?”
“She was lovely.” I took her hand and led her outside. “Really nice.”
The stars twinkled above us as the fresh, brisk air hit us in the face. The night was a nice one, just like the night I took her out here to make love. As I wrapped Morgan up in my arms, and we glanced up at the wondrous sky, I felt the heat warming up every inch of me.
“Morgan, I love you.”
As those word fell out of my mouth, I felt my heart skip about ten beats in my chest. I felt freer than ever before. I’d trapped them within me, trying to keep my cool, but what was the point now? It was time to finally reach out and grab everything that could be mine.
“I love you, too, silly,” she chuckled happily as a response, saying the words with more ease than me. “I love you so much.”
I took her chin in my hand, and I kissed her lips gently, loving the way her mouth felt against mine. The sparks flew, and I didn’t think time would ever be able to dull them,
“Well, I suppose we better go baby shopping tomorrow. I feel all unorganized now, don’t you?”
“There are months yet...” Morgan shrugged, feeling none of the immediate panic that I was.
“I can’t wait,” I snapped back, impatient and excited. “I need to be all ready now. This must be that nesting instinct you hear so much about.”
“Okay, okay, whatever you want.” She laughed. “Are you going to be all Dad-Zilla now? Will I have to rein you in at every step?”
“Maybe,” I admitted with a laugh. “I just want everything to be perfect. I just want everything to be right for our baby.”
Epilogue
Morgan
2 Years Later
“Argh, why is this bed always so full?” I groaned playfully as yet another leg kicked into my side. “It almost feels like there are three people in here.” Cue a whole round of giggles. “Hey, who was that?”
I snapped my eyes open to see my daughter’s sweet round face looking right back at me. Her circular cheeks were filled with the beautiful bright grin that I mostly now associated with her. It was my smile really, she’d definitely inherited it from me, but I spent much more time looking at her than at myself.
“What are you up to, Arianna?” I asked, while taking her chin in my hand. “Are you being cheeky again?”
“Dada let me in,” she insisted, always convinced that she was right, even when maybe she wasn’t. That came from her father, along with those sparkling green eyes I could never resist.
“Oh, did he now?”
Terrance turned his body over as he noticed us talking about him, or maybe he felt my stare prickling on the nape of his neck. “What am I being accused of now?” he grumbled sleepily, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes.
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter. Just get up and make me breakfast, or are you both forgetting that it’s Mother’s Day?”
As Terrance’s eyes widened in mock surprise, which didn’t fool me one bit since I’d been reminding him for weeks, Arianna burst into giggles all over again. She tried to stuff her fist into her mouth to hide it, but there was no escaping the laughter.
“Uh oh, we better get in the kitchen, Arianna,” he whispered to her, as if I couldn’t hear. “See what we can pull together last minute.”
As they scurried from the room, I glanced at the collage of photographs we had sitting on the wall, documenting the past two years perfectly. There was me with a massive bump, with my arm around Nickie; me and Terrance in the hospital room the day Arianna was born; my mom doting on the little pink, newborn baby; Auntie Nickie caressing her gently; all of us at Braxton and Emily’s wedding.
It really was a blessed life. I was the luckiest person alive. My heart was filled with all the love in the world, and I really didn’t feel like I needed anything else.
When I tried to remember the difficult times, the times when I didn’t think that Terrance would step up, or that horrible period that Braxton spent in hospital, or when Mom and I didn’t exactly see eye to eye, it all felt like it had gone on in another lifetime, or to someone else entirely. It was strange to recall that things hadn’t always been this smooth sailing.
“Here we are!” Terrance presented a plate of food as if it was golden, which considering what his cooking used to be like, it practically was. “A continental breakfast, just for you.”
“And flowers!” Arianna yelled in glee. “For you, Mommy.”
“And of course that isn’t all, we didn’t forget at all, did we, Ari?” Arianna shook her head, barely paying any attention because she was so busy picking things off of my plate to eat. “So we have a whole day of awesome stuff planned for you. Breakfast, then out to a movie – sorry about that one, Ari picked out that new animated movie that she’s utterly certain you want to see.”
“Sounds good to me.” I ruffled Arianna’s hair, glad to have the day with us all as a family. Although I only worked part time now, to fit around Terrance’s hours at his own company, these precious family moments were to be treasured. “Whatever this little angel wants.”
“Then a walk in the park because we all know how you love the park, and afterwards Auntie Nickie is taking Ari for a sleepover, and I’m going to cook you dinner.”
“Ooh, two meals in one day, I am spoiled!” I laughed as I shoved a piece of crispy bacon into my mouth. “But seriously, all of that sounds incredible. Thank you so much for planning it you two, especially you, Ari. I know you must have done all the hard jobs.”
She nodded, accepting the praise willingly, prompting me to kiss her on the head once more.
“I’m just going to clean the kitchen,” Terrance smirked as Arianna and I ate. “Having help is wonderful, but sometimes a little messy. Once you’re ready – and take as long as you want the movie doesn’t start for a while yet – we’ll get going.”
He left us behind to snuggle and watch some morning television, both picking at the breakfast alternately. To think that this was the baby I was so scared to have, to think that I would fear not knowing what to do, or making a mess of things... Motherhood had come naturally to me.
Maybe that made me one of the lucky ones, or maybe everyone got the same instincts once that beautiful bundle of joy in their arms. Either way, having Ari had changed my life for the better in every single way. Without her, I had no idea where I would be now, and I truly didn’t want to find out.
***
“What’s this?” I gasped loudly at the floaty red material, draped across our bed. “It looks like...” I picked it up to examine the item closer. “Yep, it’s a dress. What is this for? I thought that we were staying in for dinner?”
“We are,” Terrance called from the kitchen, the room I’d been instructed to stay out of for at least the next hour. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t look nice.”
I didn’t bother to argue. I’d been thoroughly spoiled all day long, so there was no point in resisting now. Instead, I grabbed the dress and held it up against me. I was a little rounder now after having Ari, my body slightly more curvaceous, but Terrance seemed to like that, so I did, too. I knew my body wouldn’t snap back to exactly how it was before, so what was the point in worrying about it? My body had given life, it no longer mattered how it looked.
Still, I got the sense that this dress would actually look very flattering on me.
In sheer excitement, I tore my jeans and tee shirt off and tried it on. As I pulled it over my head, the expensive material glided softly over me, reminding me for a second that not everything I wore had to be practical and easy.
As it fell to the floor, and I got a good look at myself, I was taken aback by how good I looked. I didn’t get a lot of time to fuss over my hair and make up usually, my priorities were on my little girl, but now I had a whole hour to kill and a strong desire to make myself look presentable.
I grabbed all the beauty prod
ucts I could get my hands on and I got to work making myself look like the princess I felt like I looked. Terrance was right – it did feel good to get dressed up for once. Maybe I would even pull some of my best underwear on, too...
I’d had the loveliest day of my life, and I was excited to see what tonight would bring. Terrance seemed to have some big plans; he wanted to make this Mother’s Day as special as possible, and it would be silly of me to ignore that.
***
“Wow, you look... I’m speechless,” Terrance gasped as I finally joined him in the kitchen. “I knew that dress was going to look amazing on you, but wow. I had no idea how much. It looks fantastic.”
He pulled me close to him, and I fell against his suit clad body with absolutely no resistance. “You know, you don’t look too bad yourself. I like you in a suit.”
“Me, too.” He pressed his lips gently against mine. “Even more so now that I feel like I deserve it.”
“What on Earth do you mean?” I whispered against his lips.
“Well, now I work for my suits. I have my own business. I’ve earned them.”
We kissed for a little while longer, just enjoying one another. Having Ari was wonderful, but it did mean we didn’t get enough time to just be us. Luckily, Nickie adored our daughter, and she was always happy to babysit.
“You know, since we’ve had Ari, I think we’ve gotten a little wrapped up in her, haven’t we?” Terrance asked, clearly thinking along the same lines as me. “It’s been busy; these last two years have simply flown by.”
“I can’t even recall year one,” I laughed happily. “It was all crying and milk and diapers on an endless circle. Totally worth it, though.”
“Oh, of course. That isn’t what I meant at all.” Terrance stepped back and flicked his eyes up and down my body appreciatively. “What I meant was I haven’t had enough time to pay attention to you and your needs.”