by Alexa Davis
I tried to block it out as she showed me everything she’d brought, I did my best to blur out the outfits in front of my eyes and listen only to the whistling of the kettle instead, but I couldn’t. I kept seeing beautiful, buttery-soft clothes that looked so appealing I wanted to cry. I had to keep gulping back the thick ball of emotion that lodged firmly in the back of my throat.
“Oh my God.” The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. I didn’t mean to speak, but then the next item of clothing came out, shocking me to my very core.
The dress. The red dress from Barneys’ window flashed in front of my eyes, making me cringe inside. I hadn’t told Denise that I wanted it, there was no reason for me to feel betrayed, but I did anyway. A heat raced through my body at a million miles an hour, crushing me.
But then I noticed Denise looking at me strangely, and I knew that I needed to correct myself. “It’s just so beautiful,” I finished lamely. “You’ll look amazing in that.”
Probably better than I would anyway, I told myself firmly. There’s no point in being jealous, it’s fine.
“Urgh, I know right?” she laughed. Her eyes spotted the computer screen and her whole face lit up. “Ah, you’re looking for more work. How’s that going?”
“It’s going,” I replied vaguely. “I think I need to widen my search a bit.” I wanted to shock her. I wasn’t sure why, just because I was a little bit sick of feeling inferior. It wasn’t something that Denise did intentionally, but it affected me all the same. “I think I’ll have to reconsider my view on nude scenes.”
Her face broke into a smile. “Well, that’s wonderful news, Lindsey. I’m really proud of you. You’re taking a positive step in the right direction. If you’re doing something that scares you, then chances are the reward will be much bigger anyway.”
“Hmm,” I mumbled hoping that she was right.
You might be proud of me, but would my mother be?
Tears welled up in my eyes, but I blinked them away rapidly and shook my head. No way was I going to think about my mother and what she would think about my life right now. I couldn’t allow myself to sink into that depressive hole.
Luckily before either of us could say anything more, one of our phones rang out. I grabbed mine and stared at the screen, but it was black as ever. It had to be Denise.
“Well, hello there,” Denise purred into her phone in a flirty tone of voice. “Fancy hearing from you again. How’s it going, Max?”
Max? I didn’t think I could remember a Max. I turned my back to Denise and finished off the hot drinks. As I circled the spoon in the mug, I couldn’t help overhearing the conversation, or at least one end of it.
“That sounds like fun.” Her tone had turned more professional which made me wonder whether or not it was a job. “I would love to do that, but unfortunately, I have another job then, so I won’t be able to.” I tried not to roll my eyes. I wanted to be in a position to turn down a job.
“Oh my God, that’s the pay?” She sounded shocked. “Well, if that’s the case, I might have someone else who’s interested in the job.” Her hand tapped my shoulder which made me spin around slowly. Was she offering my services for something? I wasn’t sure I much liked the idea of that even if it did sound like something that would be well paid. “Yeah I have this friend… Oh, she’s great. Uhuh. Uhuh. Great, send me the details. Good speaking to you, Max.”
As soon as Denise hung up the phone, her eyes lit up in shock. I gulped fearfully as I waited for her to lay whatever she had planned on me. My heart thundered in my chest, my mouth ran bone dry, I could feel my breaths coming out sharp and ragged. I didn’t like this one bit.
“So, that was Max…”
“Yeah, I guessed that much.” I didn’t mean to say that so sharply, but it came out that way regardless. “What did ‘Max’ have to say?”
“He has a job offer for you, and it is very well paid.” She winked at me. “I’m talking five figures, enough to pay the rent for a few months. Sounding more appealing now?”
On the one hand, of course it was. I needed that cash, desperately. I wouldn’t go and flash it on clothes, though; I would use it to get myself out of the hole that I currently found myself in. I would be able to relax for a few months until I got myself a job that I really wanted to do.
On the other hand… “What would I be expected to do?” I asked cautiously. “That’s a lot of money, what would I have to do for it?” All of a sudden, nudity wasn’t looking like such an issue, after all.
“Well, it isn’t so much a traditional acting job,” she started. “You would have to pretend to be someone’s girlfriend for a night.”
I recoiled back in horror. “Like an escort?” Surely, Denise did not think I would be okay with that. I would like to think that I gave a good enough impression of myself that she wouldn’t think I would really sell my body? We joked about it, but it wouldn’t ever happen.
“No, not like an escort,” she laughed a bellowing sound from the pit of her stomach. “It would literally be for a meal. Max’s friend has some bullshit family drama which will only be cooled if he’s seen out with a nice girlfriend. All you have to do is pretend to be his lady for a few hours and bam, you’re rolling in it.”
It sounded too good to be true, which meant it had to be. “What’s the catch?” I demanded. “What’s wrong with the guy?”
“He’s a Britt,” Denise shrugged. “Maybe that means something to you. It doesn’t to me. He’s rich as all hell and has a pain in the ass family. That’s as far as the catch goes.”
My brain spun. I didn’t know what to think about it all. It really did sound like the ideal thing for me at the moment, which made me suspicious. No nudity, just a few hours, a big payout. The why part I didn’t totally get. but that wasn’t for me to figure out. I just had to do what was requested of me: I had to become someone else for a short while, just like with any other acting job.
“Why aren’t you doing it?” I asked Denise. “If it’s so good.” It didn’t make sense, surely this was the sort of thing that Denise would have loved to do.
“You need the money more than me.” She stared down at her phone screen as some messages bleeped through. “Plus I have another job on that night, I wasn’t lying about that part. Plus… I have a bit of a history with Max. I don’t want it to get even more complex.” She shrugged and popped her gum. “You know how it is.”
“Right,” I practically whispered. “Okay.”
I slugged my drink back desperately, trying to clear my mind a little bit. The tea had started to go a little cold so it wasn’t much use, but I kept on drinking regardless. I just needed something to do with my hands while I tried to work out what I was going to do about all of this.
“Okay, that was Max. He wants you to meet him and his friend on Friday night at seven at Bijous. Can you do that?” I nodded numbly. “Don’t make any decisions before then if you don’t want to, just go and meet with them and see what you think. I would do it if I were you since this seems like the perfect way to keep your head above water, but of course it’s up to you.” She gathered up her bags and swept towards her bedroom. “See you later, okay?”
“Yeah,” I replied absentmindedly. “See ya.”
I strolled back over to the computer now armed with another option. I would scroll through the jobs for a little while longer – I had to just in case there was something amazing out there that I was missing – but at least I had another option now. Maybe it wasn’t ideal, maybe it wouldn’t be easy, but it was much better than standing naked in front of a load of people. It would also be better than doing a play from Hitler’s point of view, something I knew would be very insensitive.
I sighed, realizing just how much my morals were holding me back, but I just couldn’t let go of them. I hadn’t been left with much in my life after…well, after the tragedy that shook up my youth completely, but my morals I did have. Without them, I wasn’t sure who I was anymore. Maybe if I could do this sill
y fake girlfriend thing and still keep them intact it wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Argh, I thought as I rubbed my eyes hard. When did everything get so damn hard? And why aren’t there any signs of it getting any easier?
Chapter Five
Adam
Friday
“Max, I don’t know about this,” I told him anxiously down the phone. “This doesn’t feel right. I feel like you should be here with me. I don’t actually know the girl…”
“Nor do I,” he reassured me as if that was supposed to make me feel better. “But trust me. I know Denise, she wouldn’t steer me wrong. If she says this girl is good, then she’s good.”
“Are you sure you aren’t having you judgement clouded by your history with her?” I spat back glumly. “I don’t want this to be a massive fuck up.”
“Will you just stop worrying?” he laughed. “You’ll be fine. Trust me. Just be nice, okay?”
“Be nice?” I felt incredulous. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I’m always nice.”
“Just be nice.”
With that he hung up the phone leaving me in a pit of disbelief. What the hell? I was a nice person, I was known for being nice, especially when you considered my family. The Britt men were assholes, ruthless and demanding. They were known for not caring about who they stepped on along the way. I made up for that by being extra nice. I couldn’t believe for one second that I would be accused of being not nice. It just didn’t seem right.
“Can I help you, Sir?” A waiter slunk to my side with a bright smile on his face. I twisted my body around to give him a curious look. Could I ask him if I was nice or not? No, that wasn’t appropriate. He didn’t even know me. “Would you like to see the wine list?”
“Yes,” I gasped. I needed wine. Lots and lots of wine. “Please.”
I scanned my eyes over the list as he handed it to me before pointing to a very expensive bottle. I knew what I liked and that often cost a lot of money, but it didn’t bother me. I didn’t want to live up to the stereotype of being an asshole, entitled rich kid who did nothing for his money, but I couldn’t help it. I’d grown up with the finer things in life and I liked that. I didn’t care about judgements anyway, what other people thought of me was not my problem.
The waiter brought over the wine and I took a sip from the bottle before nodding. It tasted good enough to me. As I had a full glass poured for me, I glanced down at my watch. I expected it to be late, half of me thought that the girl wasn’t coming at all, but as it turned out it was only one minute past seven. Either I was ridiculously early or time was ticking past very slowly…or maybe both.
My heart stopped beating and I let out an audible gasp as the door to Bijous swung open and I saw a beautiful blonde enter the restaurant on her own. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but she was the only person that I’d seen come in on her own since I sat down at this table. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and stepped closer to the greeter at the door. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but as he turned and he pointed towards my table, I slid my chair back and stood up automatically. Respect got the better of me and I found myself acting like I was on date – even though this was the furthest thing from one.
Her eyes swung around and she met mine. Her face froze in shock for just a moment, allowing me to fall deep into the oceans of her eyes. There was a true vulnerability here, a sadness in her gaze that was almost overwhelming. In her moment of shock, she was revealing a lot of herself to me without meaning to and that pulled me in on a hook. I wanted to know more, I wanted to learn absolutely everything about her.
No, I told myself crossly as I fixed my eyes on the floor below me. Do not forget what this is. Remember why I’m here. Put my guards up, I need to keep strong.
By the time I rose my eyes up again she stood in front of me with a smooth expression on her face, too. Her walls had gone back up just like mine, and we were just two strangers looking at each other curiously.
“Hi…erm, I’m Adam Britt,” I said awkwardly while extending out my hand. “It’s good to meet you.”
Urgh, did I have to sound like such a dork? What the fuck was wrong with me?
“Yeah, I’m Lindsey Marsh,” she replied quietly. “It’s good to meet you, too.”
We both sat and took sips of our respective drinks. That God the waiter thought to pour Lindsey out one, too. It gave us both a moment to pause and think.
“So, I don’t know how much you know…” I started, trying to get straight down business. “I don’t know what Max told your friend Denise?”
“Erm, not much,” she admitted. “She just said that you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend for a night, for your family’s dinner or something.”
“It’s a dinner to honor my father for his business. Some award thing,” I glowered. “It’ll be boring as fuck, I imagine, but yeah that’s what I need you for.”
I slumped back in my chair and stared her down. I could see that she was waiting for more of an explanation. She probably wanted me to tell her exactly why this was necessary. I considered delving into all the bullshit with my dad, but instantly decided against it. If we were both keeping our walls sky high, then I certainly didn’t want to reveal any insecurities or vulnerabilities when it came to my dad putting me down. I intended to leave it there.
“Do you want to eat?” I asked causally while picking up a food menu to prove my point. I was the one in control here, and I needed her to remember that. I might have gotten myself into this mess, but I wanted to have the reins as I got myself out of it. “I hear the food is good here. It’s not somewhere I’ve ever eaten before, but it wasn’t easy to get a reservation at the last minute.”
Lindsey didn’t imitate me; she remained sitting in the same position staring me down. Something prickled the back of my neck as I felt the control slipping away ever so slightly. “What is the pay for the job?” she demanded.
Almost instantly I felt my hackles rising. This wasn’t at all like the situation with Brandon and Helen, but I was reminded of it all the same. I didn’t like the gold digger thing, it really wound me up. I balled my fists underneath the table and gritted my teeth. With the red mist in front of my eyes, I ran my gaze down her body. That dress was nice, but it clearly wasn’t expensive, so to piss her off and to see if this was only a money thing to her, I went lower than I intended to. A whole lot lower.
“Three hundred dollars,” I said with a smirk. “That’s the offer.”
I could see Lindsey’s face fall. Obviously this was just a money thing to her, which was a thick, bitter pill to swallow. “That isn’t enough to cover one month’s rent,” she muttered mostly to herself. “Nope.” She shook her head rapidly. “I’m not doing it.”
I watched in shock as she kicked out her chair from beneath her and stared daggers down at me. I folded my arms across my chest in a smug satisfaction that I was right about her. Clearly, she wasn’t the right person for the job if she was willing to throw in the towel at the first opportunity. I should have known this would end up in utter disaster. I shook my head slowly as she stalked, shaking her ass as she walked, and she stormed out the door with her head held high.
It was only when the door closed back behind her that I realized what an idiot I was. What did I do that for? I thought desperately. Of course this is all about the money. What sort of weird person would do such a thing if it weren’t about the money? That was why I offered such a high fee in the first place.
“Fuck,” I muttered as my blood ran ice cold.
I slammed a couple of hundred dollar bills down on the table to pay for the wine and chased after Lindsey. She was my only option, the only woman happy to go along with this scheme, and she was beautiful, too. She even came with the added bonus of making my brother jealous as all hell. I needed her way more than she needed me.
“Lindsey,” I called out as the cool air brushed against my cheeks. She was almost around the corner, which meant I was almost too late. “Lindse
y, wait.”
She spun around and glared at me again. I was growing used to that look already and we only met a short while ago! “What do you want, Adam?” she spat out.
“I’m sorry.” I stopped in front of her. “I was an asshole in there. I don’t know why I acted like that.”
“Do you not think I’m worth the five figures you offered originally?” She looked hurt as she declared this. “Am I not pretty enough for you?”
Damn it, I never said five figures. That was obviously Max’s spin on it because he knew that I could afford it. Still, with the pain that shone in Lindsey’s eyes and the fact that I’d already been a dick, I couldn’t turn her down now. “Fine,” I breathed out. “Whatever.”
She extended out a hand for me to shake. I gave it an odd look, but she wasn’t backing down. She wanted me to make a verbal agreement with her so I wouldn’t back down. She was trusting that I was a man of my word…luckily I was. I shook her hand and smiled.
“So, now what?” she asked awkwardly. “Where do we go from here? I guess this isn’t something that we can just do. We need to like, know more about each other?”
“I guess you’re right.” I coughed awkwardly. “I suppose we should meet up tomorrow with fresh minds and we can talk everything through fully. Get all our ducks in a row.”
“Right. Give me your cell phone,” she demanded. “Let me type my number in so you can contact me directly. Save going through Max and Denise again.”
I watched her as she furiously typed in her digits, my brow furrowed in confusion. I couldn’t read this woman at all, she was a wannabe actress but didn’t seem like any other actresses that I knew. Not that I knew many, but the ones I did were much more…brash. She seemed sweet and kind. I really liked her a lot so far. I also kind of liked the way that she stood up to me. She knew her worth, she had her morals, and she wasn’t about to take any less for herself.
I had no idea where the hell this was going to go, but I was quite looking forward to the ride. I just hoped that she was worth the extortionate amount of money that I was about to spend on her.