All the Little Lies: A High School Bully Romance

by S. J. Sylvis

  If I had to go back to Oakland High and be around Gabe, I’d lose it. This wasn’t even about not getting into an Ivy League, or scholarships, or the great faculty recommendations from a school like English Prep. This was wholeheartedly based around survival. The mere thought of being around Gabe sent me straight into a spiral of panic.

  “So, why does my brother hate you?” Ollie whispered as he kept his eyes on Ms. Boyd who kept glancing at us from atop her tiny, gold-framed glasses.

  “He didn’t tell you?” I whispered back, my leg still bouncing.

  Ollie placed his palm on my leg to stop it from jiggling. Normally, a random touch from someone would have made me recoil, but with Ollie, all it did was calm me. Ollie had always been the sweet brother, the caring one. Whereas Christian was the hothead who never backed down from a fight, Ollie was the one who thought things through. He always seemed to have a plan back when we were kids. “Not a single word. But that’s not surprising. Christian isn’t exactly an open book. Never has been—and especially not after Mom died.”

  I thought back to when we were younger. Ollie was cute and constantly wanted to hang out with Christian and me. His light hair was usually messy, and his face was always stained with dirt. He’d had crooked teeth, but those were fixed now. I didn’t think anyone could deny that he was attractive. He and Christian didn’t look a whole lot alike, but they were both cut from the same perfect stone.

  My heart ached. “I’m sorry about your mom, Ollie.”

  His hand squeezed my leg gently. “I’m sorry about your dad.”

  “Ollie?” I asked, feeling a bit braver around him than I did with Christian.

  He tipped his chin after checking to make sure Ms. Boyd wasn’t looking at us.

  “What did I have to do with your mother’s death?”

  “What?”

  “Christian said that I was the start of it all. How?”

  Ollie’s eyebrows drew together. “He said that?”

  I nodded, but before I could elaborate any further, Headmaster Walton’s door flew open, and Christian walked out looking like the hot, smug bastard he was. His eyes instantly fell to Ollie’s hand on my leg, and I could have sworn his nostrils flared, but I didn’t dare look him in the eye. Not only was I embarrassed I had a slight breakdown in front of him, but even more so as his voice was the only thing I could focus on to get me to calm down. Talk about pathetic.

  The headmaster appeared behind Christian. “Ms. Smith, I’d like to talk to you for a moment. Ollie, you’re free to go back to class with Christian, but in the future, please don’t punch your teammates while they’re trying to leave the locker room, even if you are trying to protect someone’s privacy.”

  Someone = me.

  I hurriedly stood up, Ollie’s hand falling from my leg. I passed by Christian without sparing him a glance.

  This could go either way. Christian could have walked in there and told Headmaster Walton a lie, and I’d be getting thrown out of English Prep, or he could have told the truth, and Madeline would make my life a living hell.

  I wasn’t sure which was the better option at this point.

  “Ms. Smith, please take a seat.”

  Sinking down into the leather chair, I felt my heart slide to the ground. Headmaster Walton waltzed over to his seat and sat down, smoothing his hand over his tie. “I was made aware of the little situation that occurred yesterday.”

  This is it. I’m getting thrown out of English Prep.

  “I want you to fully understand the severity of this.” I began to nod as he continued. “Bullying is not okay. I will be having words with Madeline later today about stealing your uniform, and if something like this occurs again, please make it a priority to tell me. Or Christian.”

  Or Christian? I would most definitely not be telling either of them, but especially not Christian.

  “I understand,” I answered. My chest was beginning to feel less constricted. “So, just to be clear, I’m not getting thrown out of English Prep?”

  Headmaster Walton gave me a genuine smile and shook his head. “No, and I’m very pleased with what your teachers have been saying about you, Ms. Smith. You’ve been here for two weeks and they’re already saying you’re one of the brightest students they’ve ever had.”

  Pride swelled in my chest, and it felt good. It soothed the panic and distress I'd been feeling just moments ago. I’d had a whirlwind of emotions today, and it was only nine in the morning.

  “You may be dismissed back to class now. Stop at Ms. Boyd’s desk, and she’ll write you a note.”

  I gave him a small smile and stood up, smoothing out my skirt. “Oh, and Hayley?”

  “Yes?” I asked.

  “Madeline and her parents will be paying for a new uniform if she can’t seem to locate the one she stole yesterday. And”—he looked down at my folder for a moment—“I do need to report this incident to your social worker. I just wanted to inform you.”

  I ground my teeth and gave him a curt nod.

  Great.

  Piper pulled up to the curb and put her car in park. We’d spent the entire drive to my house dissecting Christian and my slight meltdown.

  “I hate to say it, Hay.”

  I unbuckled my seatbelt, leery of her expression. “What?”

  Her pink lip curved upward. “I think Christian wants to hate you...but he can’t.”

  I scoffed. “He definitely hates me, Piper. Trust me.”

  The cold, demeaning stare he gave me the first day he saw me proved that much. Yes, he talked me out of a panic attack earlier, and yes, he very well could have had me thrown out of English Prep this morning if he really wanted, but he still hated me. In fact, he basically told me so.

  “Who is that?” I followed Piper’s line of sight and sunk back into the passenger seat.

  I groaned. “Ugh. That’s Ann. My social worker.”

  Her mouth formed an O. “She looks nice.”

  Ann was on the nice side—for social workers, that was. She was actually the nicest social worker I’d ever had. After the incident with Gabe, they replaced my old social worker, Daniel, with Ann. They thought I’d respond better to a woman versus a man, and they were right.

  I still didn’t let myself get too close to her, though. It wasn’t like she was trying to be my fairy godmother or anything. She was only in charge of me because the state said so. Confiding in a social worker was a lot like crying wolf. You couldn’t complain about much of anything because no one would believe you, and not to mention, it usually made things worse.

  You’d just continue to suffer, alone, until you aged out.

  “I gotta go in there and do damage control. She’s probably filling in Asshole One and Two about Madeline taking my clothes and the ‘bullying’.”

  Madeline didn’t so much as spare me a glance for the rest of the day, but I knew she wanted to. I could sense her anger from across the cafeteria and even more so during our classes together. A mysterious dodgeball hit me in the head during PE, too, and I was certain it was from her.

  Piper gave me a comforting smile. “Okay, well, email me later if you get bored after homework and stuff. Or maybe, like, be a normal teenager and create a social media account, and we can chat on there.”

  I gave her a fake laugh and climbed out of her car. Social media wasn’t the safest thing for someone like me to utilize, but I wasn’t about to say that to her. Instead, I bent down at the last second. “I’ll wash your uniform and give it back after Madeline replaces mine.”

  She shook her auburn hair out. “Don’t worry about it. I have, like, five hundred uniforms. Keep it in case you find yourself walking down the hall half-naked again.” I glanced down at the skirt, and she interjected. “But if it makes you feel better giving it back, that’s fine, too.”

  This time I smiled for real. “Now you’re learning.”

  She laughed as I slammed the door and crossed the street. I glanced back once at Piper and watched her fading headlights. I to
ok a deep breath but paused before I went inside to face Ann, Pete, and Jill. My eyes zeroed in on an all-blacked-out Escalade parked at the end of the road.

  Talk about sticking out like a sore thumb. This was a shitty neighborhood. I was half-worried Piper’s car would get messed with the night I snuck out to the party.

  I rolled my eyes as I continued to stall. Go on and get it over with.

  I squared my shoulders, flipped my dark hair out of my face, and went inside.

  “Oh, great. You’re back from school.” Ann stood up from the couch and dusted her skirt off. If only she knew that Jill had sucked Pete off in that exact spot a few days ago. My body shivered at the thought. Gross.

  “Hi.” Old cigarette smoke burnt my nostrils as I walked through the threshold. Pete was all but glaring at me, no doubt pissed that Ann had stopped by. His hair was as greasy as the engine oil on his mechanic’s shirt. Jill wasn’t home; she must have been on second shift at the nursing home today.

  “I just came to check in with Pete. I had a call from Headmaster Walton this morning.”

  Silence erupted throughout the room. Pete was still staring daggers in my direction. Ann was waiting for me to say something, but I kept my mouth shut. I had learned that it was always better to say nothing at all.

  “Pete said he had no idea you were getting bullied at English Prep.” She shot him a displeased look, and he brought his eyes to the floor.

  Trying to cover my tracks with him, I shrugged. “It was the first time, so I didn’t tell him or Jill. It’s not a big deal. I’ve handled worse.”

  Ann walked toward me. “Why don’t you and I go out front to talk?”

  She brushed past me, her flowery scent a nice break in the stale-cigarette smell from Pete. I flicked my eyes to his, and he glowered at me. He was definitely mad. Great.

  The screen door slammed when I stepped onto the porch. Ann had her arms crossed over her yellow blouse with her phone and keys clenched in her hands. “So, how are things really, Hayley? You obviously don’t want to talk in front of Pete, which has red flags popping up everywhere.”

  I could sense Pete staring at me through the screen door without even looking. The cold rawness in his glare seconds ago felt like a snake wrapping around my neck and cutting off my circulation.

  “Things are fine, Ann. I’d tell you if they weren’t. Pete and Jill are great foster parents. I didn’t tell them about Madeline because it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

  She stared at me, her mouth in a straight line. I looked away before she could see right through me. Hmm. The Escalade is gone. Drug deal?

  “Who is this Christian boy the headmaster talked about? Seemed like he had your best interest at heart. Boyfriend?”

  I laughed out loud, cutting my attention back to Ann. Not only was it funny that she thought Christian was my boyfriend, but also because she was obviously trying hard to find a common ground with me so I’d trust her. No, Ann. We’re not going to talk boys together like we’re besties.

  “We should cut the bullshit, Ann.”

  She leveled me with a stare. “I agree. So, tell me, how is it really living here?”

  Why was she doing this? Why was she acting like she cared or that she had some magical wand that would change the way my life was?

  “Does it matter?” I asked, shifting on my feet. I reached up and untied the bow around my neck, sliding it from my skin. The autumn breeze gave me goosebumps.

  Ann’s face softened. Her mouth set into a frown. “Of course it matters, Hayley.”

  I laughed sarcastically as I looked out into the near-empty street again, Pete’s beat-up truck sitting close to the curb. “No, it doesn’t, Ann. You heard the judge. If I mess this up, I’m going to a group home. I turn eighteen next month. If I’m in a group home when I age out, there is no going back. They don’t keep you when you turn eighteen. I’ll still get a small chunk of money from the state, but the group home won’t take it as room and board. Jill and Pete are my last hope; they’ll take my stipend money and let me stay until college. Even if things were terrible here”—I gave her a pointed look, raising my voice—“which they aren’t, there is no other option. So, with that said, things are just dandy. The best house I’ve been in yet. School is a breeze. The end.”

  The muscles along her heart-shaped face teetered back and forth. She knew I was right. This was my last chance. I had no other options. It was torture knowing things could slip right out of my grasp if the wrong move was made, but it had been like that for the last five years.

  I could be sent back to Oakland High with the snap of Christian’s finger. One mess up and the headmaster would likely turn his back on me. One wrong move with Jill and Pete and I could end up homeless before I even graduated high school. I felt like I was constantly teetering back and forth over a cliff.

  Ann inched a little closer to me and whispered, knowing very well that Pete was probably listening, “If it gets bad enough, Hayley...tell me. I’ll do everything I can to help you. You know that, right?”

  I wanted to believe her. I really, really did. I was desperate to believe her. But I’d been burned one too many times.

  “Yes,” I answered. Then I turned around and walked through the front door and waited for her to leave as I stood back and watched through the window.

  Part of me wanted to dart up to my room, but instead, I stayed in the living room with Pete, wanting to get it over with. I knew he’d have something to say. There was no point in running.

  I kept my gaze on the glossy window, feeling the devil behind my back. “Spit it out, Pete. I have homework to do.”

  My heart beat fiercely; my skin prickled with fear. I didn’t know why I mouthed off, but I suddenly wished I could suck the words back in.

  “She didn’t believe a fucking word you said. Now she’s going to be checking in every other fucking day.” Pete grew closer to me, his voice loud and mean.

  I spun around and leveled his sweaty face with a glare. “Let’s be real here. I could have told her that you have your wife suck your dick every night while I’m in the next room. Or I could have told her that you lock me in my room like some caged animal. Or maybe I could have told her that you only feed me leftover scraps from dinner and that you drink beer all night long and slap Jill around.” Pete’s face was redder than a tomato, his eyes blazing with anger. “But I didn’t. I didn’t because I need you just as much as you need me.”

  He spat as he yelled, “I don’t need you. You’re an ungrateful little bitch. I could have you kicked out of here and replace you with a new foster kid if I wanted.”

  I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes. “But could you really, Pete? I’m guessing you’ve been under suspicion before, which is why they placed me with you. The girl that no one wanted. I was your last resort.” My mouth kept rambling even though my brain was screaming at me to stop before he snapped. “What is it? What do you need the foster money for? Gambling? Some kind of crazy debt? You better watch yourself. Debt is what got my dad killed.”

  I saw him lose it right in front of me. His eyes grew crazed, and I knew I’d just awakened the beast. The smart thing would have been to put some kind of barrier between us, but I didn’t. Before I could even think to defend myself, he swept me off my feet and kicked my ribs while I was down on the dirty floor. I yelled out a grunt as his boot connected with my side. I curled into a ball, knowing very well that I needed to stay down. He was much bigger than me. Even if I got back to my feet, he’d easily knock me down again.

  My side burned with raging pain. Tears threatened to spill at the corners of my eyes. I bit my lower lip to stop it from trembling.

  Pete bent down, but I kept my vision on the couch leg, not daring to look up at him. “You have it backwards. You need me much more than I need you. Mouth off again and I’ll throw you out on your ass faster than you can say your farewell.” Pete stormed away, stomping to the kitchen. I heard the fridge door clank open and the pop of a beer tab.

  He
shouted, “Door’s getting locked at seven tonight. And no fucking dinner.”

  I slowly pulled myself up and grabbed my bag, basically limping upstairs.

  Not one single tear was shed. Not even from the dull ache in my side or from the fast-approaching purple bruise.

  I didn’t cry for men like him.

  I didn’t cry when my father died.

  I didn’t cry when Gabe proved to be someone he wasn’t.

  I didn’t cry when Christian told me he hated me.

  And I wasn't going to cry because Pete kicked me like I was a dog.

  Instead, I opened up my laptop, finished my homework, and applied to another college far, far away from this town.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Christian

  My room was pitch black when I tore my eyes open. I knew what day it was, but I had no intention of indulging in it. Birthdays lost their meaning over time, and it was the one thing Mom always went all out on. She may have been absent every other day of the year, but when Ollie’s and my birthdays came around, she pulled out all the stops.

  I used to look forward to the chocolatey cake and her high-pitched voice singing “Happy Birthday.” My father would even join in on the occasion. But today, the only thing I was looking forward to, at least right now, was the coffee waiting for me downstairs.

  As soon as I reached the kitchen in my drowsy state, I paused. There was a steaming pot of coffee already brewed. Ollie? I guessed it would be nice of him to actually get himself up to make coffee on my birthday. His silent gift to me, knowing very well I hated celebrating.

  “Mornin’, son.”

  My hand froze in mid-air as I reached for a mug.

  “Happy birthday,” he said, coming further into the kitchen.

  I inhaled and poured my coffee before turning around. “Thanks. Didn’t know you knew when my birthday was or that you’d be home today.”

  My father was wearing a plain T-shirt and running shorts, like he was about to go for a run. Maybe that was his norm? Wake up. Get coffee. Run. I wouldn’t know. He wasn’t here long enough for me to pinpoint a routine.