All the Little Lies: A High School Bully Romance

by S. J. Sylvis

  With the thought, I looked over at his lunch table. He was picking away at his food, shoving it around his tray. Ollie and Eric were talking animatedly, and everyone else, girls included, were hanging on their every last word. Madeline sat a few seats down, still at their table, but no one was speaking to her.

  If it were anyone else, I might have felt bad. But she was mean, and mean girls deserved to be lepers.

  Christian’s head swiveled toward the lunchroom doors, and I followed his gaze. The dark oak slabs opened, and Headmaster Walton waltzed in, his bright-red tie a focal point. Then, right after him, I saw Ann’s bright, straw-colored hair and tired face following him.

  I sighed, Piper stopped talking and asked me what Ann was doing here. I shrugged as Headmaster Walton pointed me out, and Ann caught my eye.

  “I’m gonna go find out before she sits down at our table like we’re all besties.”

  Piper snickered. “I’ll take care of your tray. I’ll see you after school to finish our conversation, even though you didn’t hear a word I said because you were too busy ogling Christian.”

  I gave her the side eye but didn’t bother arguing with her. She was right. I was ogling him.

  Before I made it all the way over to Ann’s painfully bright smile, I snagged my attention on the popular table again. No one was paying attention; there was too much commotion going on in the lunchroom: lots of chatter, my peers moving through the food line, cafeteria ladies cleaning and replacing food, random teachers grabbing their afternoon cup of joe. But Christian, he was locked onto me, staring, pinning me down with a questionable look.

  Ignoring him and the way my chest fluttered, I turned and headed right for the doors. I gave Ann a fake what-are-you-doing-here smile and whisked through the door as she trailed me.

  Her heels clanked against the tile floor as she waltzed over to a nearby bench and sat down. I did the same before turning to her and asking, “Why are you here?”

  She laughed. “Oh, Hayley. You’re one of my favorites.” I bristled at the thought, picking at the stray pieces of my tattered skirt end. “I just came to check on things. You know, that’s kind of my job.”

  “Things are fine,” I answered truthfully. Things weren’t that bad. They could always be worse.

  “That’s what you all say.” She shook her hair out and massaged her temples. I knew that being a social worker was a thankless job, but I also knew that not every social worker did their job correctly or with as much heart as others. Ann, though, was beginning to show her worth. I was pretty sure she was one of the good ones. There was something about her that was warm and fuzzy. Motherly. But that didn’t mean I was going to divulge in some amazing mother/daughter relationship with her. I wasn’t going to suddenly start seeking her advice. Should I go to the game with Piper? Should I keep pushing Christian away? Should I trust him when he asks me all these questions? Why is he butting in? Why did his kiss brand me? What do you think about Pete locking me in my room? I’m almost eighteen, do you think those men who killed my father are going to show up on my doorstep like they promised so long ago?

  Ann dissolved my thoughts just as quickly as they filtered through. “Who is your friend? The one you were sitting with?”

  “Her name is Piper.” I licked my lips.

  I could feel Ann staring at me, but I didn’t meet her eye. “I’m glad to see you have made a friend here. Have you guys hung out outside of school much?”

  I shook my head. “Not really.”

  “And why not?”

  This time I turned my attention toward her. “Do you really think she’s going to want to come hang out at Pete and Jill’s with me? And honestly?” I sighed. “Even asking Pete and Jill to use the washing machine grants me an eye roll and heavy huffs of breath. I don’t talk to them unless I have to. The thought of asking them to go to Piper’s or to the game this Friday makes my skin crawl.”

  Ann’s small, makeup-covered nose twitched. “Creating these relationships with your peers is important, Hayley. Consider it done. You’re going to the game Friday. You’re going to be a normal teenager. Your grades are soaring. Headmaster Walton told me that the faculty letters are pouring in and they’re excellent. There is no reason why someone as hardworking as you can’t have a little bit of fun.” She dipped her head down low. “Especially considering the last five years of your life. Pete, nor Jill, will protest when I tell them this.”

  A rush of anxiety hit me. “Why do you care so much? I’m almost out of the system. Maybe you should put forth your effort with someone younger than me. I don’t need your help with Jill and Pete.”

  Ann’s eyes stayed warm, her expression still relaxed. Her lips turned upward just slightly. “I care because you remind me of someone I used to know.”

  She stood up, smoothing out her skirt. “Go to the game. I’ll give Jill and Pete a call. I need to check in with them anyway. I didn’t like how things ended last week.”

  Curiosity piqued me. Angling my head up to her, I asked, “Who do I remind you of? Another kid who is lost in the system?”

  Her expression never changed. It was still warm and comforting. “Was.”

  “What?”

  “She was lost in the system.”

  She started to walk away, and at the last second, before reaching the end of the hall, she looked over her shoulder. “You remind me of me, Hayley. And I’d love to see you come out on top.”

  Then, she walked out of the doors, leaving me with my thoughts. I knew she wasn’t like all the rest.

  I stood up and smoothed out my skirt when I heard the bell ring. Scooping up my backpack, I was about to walk to my next class when a rough and callous voice rang out. Christian was the first to enter the hallway, everyone else still gathering their things and throwing away their lunches.

  “Going to the big game on Friday then, yeah?”

  My jaw slacked. “Were you spying on me?”

  He tucked his hands into his pressed khaki pants, casually. He looked effortlessly cool in his uniform, whereas I looked like a lost schoolgirl with tangled hair and ratty shoes. “Maybe.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Why? Why are you so concerned with everything I do?”

  His jaw tightened, his teeth working back and forth. He began to walk past me as people started to pour out of the lunchroom. Piper caught my eye and lifted her eyebrow, a knowing grin on her face.

  As soon as his clean, woodsy scent enveloped me, he whispered, “I have no fucking clue.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Christian

  It was funny how quickly things became a part of your everyday, same ol’ schedule. Things like brushing your teeth, taking a piss in the morning, running suicides before practice. The things you didn’t think twice about. You just did them because you were so accustomed to doing them. You didn't even give them a second thought.

  When did they become the norm? At what moment did I decide that brushing my teeth directly after I downed a cup of coffee was the thing to do? At what point did I decide that driving to an entirely different town, in the fucking dumps, to stare at Hayley’s house was what I’d do every night?

  When did I decide that watching her inhale her food during lunch was my new norm? She was taking over. She was inflicting herself into my bones, seeping her devastatingly broken, yet beautiful face into my brain. I was worried. There was this superego part of me that wanted to be there to save her, to swoop her up into my arms and protect her from everyone who hurt her—including me.

  Did she remind me of the past? Yes.

  Did that bother me anymore? Maybe if I wasn’t looking at her somber blue eyes. Maybe if I wasn’t reminded of the bruise on her side. Maybe if I didn’t see that tiny bit of fear etched on her features. Because that did something to me. She was the cure to my guilt, whereas before, I thought she was the culprit of it.

  The stadium lights were as bright as the sun above my head. We only had two minutes to go; one touchdown stood between us and the
winning buzzer. Oakland was three points ahead. I looked up into the stadium briefly. I scanned over to my father, standing up on the bottom bleacher in his nicest suit. This was the first game he’d been to in a long, long time. I knew he’d leave shortly after, and although I didn’t want to admit it, him being here made me want to play better. It may have been the desperate little boy inside of me that wanted his father to be proud of him, but either way, I had played my very best tonight.

  I flicked my eyes past him as I ran out onto the field from the sidelines. The crowd was roaring, my cleats pounding on the wet grass and dirt, my teammates grunting and hollering all around me, but somehow, my eyes found her.

  Hayley was standing with Piper, her dark hair in two braids. She had on a navy bulldog’s shirt, and there was an actual smile on her face. Not the kind that she wore in class when the teacher congratulated her on her high test score. Not the kind she wore when she bumped into someone and said excuse me. No, this one reached her eyes. Hayley Smith was having fun, and I hadn’t seen her smile like that for a really long time. It made me crave the past, and I was used to running from it.

  “Sideswipe,” I yelled throughout the huddle. I had a couple confused looks. Ollie nodded briefly through his helmet, and Eric muttered, “Coach gon’ kill ya.”

  “Sideswipe,” I repeated. We all clapped and lined the field. Coach was probably having an aneurysm at this point, knowing we were bypassing his safe call, but I knew what I was doing. One long pass to Ollie and we’d have a touchdown. Coach made me captain for a reason, and I’d remind him of that when we beat Oakland at the end of the game with more than a measly field goal.

  “Hut.”

  The ball snapped to me quickly, the pigskin-rubber glued to my palm. I trampled backward, and I zeroed in on Ollie’s fast legs trucking down the field. I wound my arm back, knowing I was about to get plowed, and ignited the ball down the field. I swore the entire stadium went quiet. The buzzer was about to go off, and I landed on my back with an Oakland defensive lineman on top of me. He tried to intimidate me with his glare, but it didn’t work. I pushed at his heavy body when I heard the crowd roaring. I was hoping it was because Ollie had scored and I didn’t blow it. Just as soon as the thought left my head, a few of my teammates appeared above me, pulling the meathead off my body even further. They were smiling ear to ear, black smears underneath their eyes dotted with sweat.

  They lifted me to my feet, and I knew that I’d made the right choice. Coach could suck my dick. That was how you won a game. Eric and Taylor lifted me up onto their shoulders, yelling and screaming insanities at Oakland’s players. I was smiling for once, too, genuinely happy.

  Through the celebrations, we were pulled off the field as the kicker came on to do the extra point. Coach growled at me but pulled me in for a back pat in the end. “Little fucker,” he said in my ear. “Don’t pull that shit in college. You’ll be benched no matter how good you are.”

  I chuckled and pulled my attention away, glancing back up into the stadium to catch a glance of the little ray of sunshine. My brow furrowed when I didn’t see her.

  But fuck it. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking of Hayley.

  After we all barreled into the locker room and started to pull off our pads, everyone was on a high. Eric already had girls heading to the cabin to celebrate, and my dad was already long gone back to the house to catch up on work and get ready for his next business trip, wherever the fuck that was.

  Ollie was smiling ear to ear as he pulled me in for a hug. “Glad you knew what you were doing out there, bro. The scouts are going to be sucking your dick to get you on their team.”

  I laughed as I whipped on a clean T-shirt.

  With my back turned to the locker room door, I watched as every guy’s expression changed. Ollie pulled back, and his eyebrows drew together. “Piper, what the hell are you doing in here?”

  I spun around quickly, my resolve wavering. “Christian.” She gulped.

  Ollie and I were both over to her within seconds, ignoring the rest of the team. Her face was pale, her body trembling. Her words were rushed. “It’s Hayley. Something bad happened, and she won’t let me call 911. Hurry.”

  Ollie and I didn’t even bat an eyelash. We ran as fast as we could after her.

  Chapter Twenty

  Hayley

  As my face was smashed into the cold, gritty ground, I wondered how I’d gone from standing in a crowd roaring with excitement over a football game to lying in the gravel. Remnants of asphalt were rubbing my skin raw as someone pushed the side of my head down as the other kicked me in the back. Tangy blood filled my mouth, and I held back a whimper. I tried to fight them off. I knew I got one in the balls by the way he had crouched down after, but the other flew on top of me, and now I was pinned.

  Their voices were rough, their faces covered in black masks of some sort. It was dark where we were. As soon as I felt them grab me while walking to the bathroom, I knew I should have waited for Piper. I didn’t want her to miss the last few minutes of the game, and I didn’t want to have to wait in a long line of people as they rushed out of the stands.

  With each punch and kick to my body, I wondered if this was a result of Gabe. Maybe he did know that I went to English Prep now. Maybe it was a mistake coming here, pretending I was a normal teenager who didn’t have threats appearing all around her.

  The two hours of fun with Piper and the eye roll of Pete when she picked me up weren’t worth this.

  Not at all.

  “Fuck, people are coming. Is it her? Has he texted back?”

  Who?

  The guy holding me down spoke. “Fucking shit. He hasn’t messaged back. If we got this wrong, he’s going to kill us himself. He’ll never know he can trust us. Let’s just take her anyway. Dump her on the side of the road if it’s not her.”

  The palm that was over my mouth, holding my head down, loosened just a tad. They stopped beating on me when I stopped struggling. They were waiting for confirmation. My worst nightmare was coming true. My blood hardened. Fear morphed into anger.

  I could sense the nerves rolling off the guys; they were younger, maybe even close to my age by the sound of their voices. The one who inflicted the most pain on me was pacing back and forth, tiny flakes of the ground crunching underneath his boots. People were about to pour out of the stadium. Piper was going to come looking for me. I tried to look around at my surroundings. I couldn’t have been too far from the bathrooms, but when you’re kicking and clawing while getting taken down with a hand over your mouth, you lose track of time and your awareness.

  I heard a phone ping, and even though my body was already hurting in places I couldn’t even register, I hastily opened my mouth and bit down on the hand covering my face as he loosened his grip. Rule number one of the Hayley Fight Club: never let your guard down. Lucky for me, the bastard underestimated the strength of a seventeen-year-old girl.

  He screamed out and withdrew his hand hastily. I spun my body around, gravel scraping my stomach. I screamed bloody murder and hopped to my feet, ready to take off. I didn’t dare look back to see if they were running after me. I ran until I tripped over something, losing my balance. I quickly spun around on my hands and looked in the direction I came from.

  All I saw was darkness and a few flying insects through a tiny stream of light. I jumped up again and climbed the grassy area, wheezing and unable to catch my breath. My foot slipped twice, and I was just waiting for a hand to wrap around my ankle, but nothing ever came.

  I could see the brick-covered bathrooms up ahead with people swarming about.

  “Hayley!”

  I whipped my head over to Piper, my now loose braids smacking me in the face. My feet took me over to her quickly, and her wide-eyed expression had me turning to look back. They followed me, and now I just put her in danger, too.

  “Run.”

  I grabbed Piper's hand and dragged her alongside me. We passed by curious faces, bumping into random people. As soon a
s we made it to the parking lot and we were in the comfort of other people trying to get to their cars, I leaned my back against her hood and tried to catch my breath. I was gasping as adrenaline ran through my veins.

  Piper’s mouth was still wide open as her gaze ran all over my body. I tried to catch my breath to explain what happened, but she just kept rambling, “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.” Then, she reached out to touch me but thought twice and, instead, pulled her phone out. “I’m calling 911. You're…you have…there’s a lot of blood. Hayley, can you talk? What happened?”

  “No!” I yelled before slumping down on the ground. Now that the adrenaline was starting to give way, things hurt. My stomach ached. I could still taste blood in my mouth. It seemed my eye was swelling, because I could only see half of her face. My words were choppy. “I don’t have money. No hospitals. Pete and Jill will be mad. And Ann will know.”

  “Hayley!” Piper bent down, her red hair swaying in front of her worried face. “Oh my God. Okay, um.” She covered her hand with her mouth. “Get in the car now. Lock it. I’ll be right back.”

  She helped me to my feet and gently put me in the backseat. I slowly slumped down, my head resting on the soft fabric. I wasn’t sure where she went—maybe to get me some wet paper towels to clean the blood up. At this point, I didn’t care. Lying down felt better than sitting against the hood. My body started to come off its high. I trembled and continued to breathe through my nose. A small noise sounded from around me, but I was too tired to open my eyes. It sounded like a whimper.

  Oh my God. Is that me?

  I reached up and felt my face. It was wet. Sticky and wet.

  Am I crying? Why does this hurt so bad?

  Suddenly, the car moved a bit, and the door opened up. A cool breeze hit my face, and I clenched my eyes shut. Jesus Christ, they’re back, and I don’t have enough fight left in me.