by Amy L. Gale
Doesn’t Tyler get that he can kill us both… or worse turn us into vegetables. Once a little testosterone flows, all sense and rationality disappears. Doesn’t he get a rush from surfing, and playing in front of thousands of people? No need to speed down the road like a maniac and for what… to beat this idiot next to us, who we don’t even know, in a street race with no benefits other than bragging rights?
The car screeches to a halt, sending the aroma of burnt rubber through the air. I pry my eyelids open. Both cars stop at the next red light. Thank you, God, we’re still alive. I try to calm my body from end-of-the-world hysteria to please-make-me-a-strong-drink panic. The white Corvette speeds away, and Tyler takes the right hand turn toward my apartment.
I take a deep breath and try and control my trembling hands. At this point, I’m not sure if they’re shaking from intense rage or the near-death experience. Tyler turns into a fearless teenager whenever the opportunity presents itself. I get it, his sense of adventure dominates but there’s a hell of a big difference between having fun and putting your life in danger. He thinks he’s invincible like bad things happen to other people, not him. I hate to break it to him but life doesn’t work that way. No one knows that better than me.
Maybe I’m the one who’s crazy. Why on earth would I put myself in this position again? It’s like history repeating itself. This stupid drag race stirred up memories as if they happened yesterday. For a split second, all the pain and devastation flowed through me. Am I a glutton for punishment with a deep psychological need to torture myself? I’ve got to get away. I won’t go through this… not again. I lost it all, the love of my life, my family, my friends, my home. I finally built up another life for myself here in L.A. and I’m about to lose it all again, like a vicious cycle. Well, I’m jumping off this ride before it crashes and burns.
Tyler pulls up alongside my apartment building. “You’re quiet, babe. Still reveling in the victory?”
Like I give a shit if he won the race. I wipe my sweaty palms against my jean shorts and turn toward Tyler. Hot lava flows through me as I study the smug smile on his face. I unhook my seatbelt and turn toward him. All I want to do is talk some sense into him. Let him know that everything he lives for and loves can change in the blink of an eye. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Just a river of tears flows down my cheeks.
He reaches over to wipe them away. “What’s wrong?”
I push his hand away and hightail it out of the car, bounding up the steps like an Olympian. So much is wrong I don’t even know where to start.
I bolt into my apartment and close the door behind me, shutting out the world. Maybe that’s half my problem. I lean against the door and take a deep breath. I mean, the stunt Tyler just pulled was ridiculous and dangerous but I may have overreacted a bit. I guess I could chalk it up to PTSD from our near death experience with the earthquake, but my past trauma runs much deeper.
Loud knocking vibrates the door. I stand tall and run my hands along my cheeks, trying to make myself semi-presentable. I’ve got to explain this to Tyler, but I really have no clue where to start. I pull open the door.
Tyler runs a hand through his windblown hair. “Did you want to hold the checkered flag?” He flashes a small smile.
I let out a quick laugh, probably to hold back anymore tears. “Sorry I freaked.” I take a step back. “Come on in.”
Tyler grabs my hand and leads me to the couch. We both sink into the cushions. He turns toward me and flashes those baby blues that set my soul on fire. Only this time, they’re full of concern.
“What happened back there, babe?”
I shrug. “A momentary lapse of sanity.”
He nods. “Yep, I’ve been there… now how about the truth.”
I fidget with my fingers. “Remember when I told you the quarterback passed away in a car accident.”
“Yeah, were you in the car?” He places his hand just above my knee.
I shake my head. Believe me, there were times I’ve wished I was in there with Josh. Not to end it all with him but who knows, maybe I could’ve done something… anything to save him.
I take a deep breath. “Listen, you don’t always end up in the victory lane.”
“I get it. Take no chances, and you won’t get hurt.”
“Exactly.” Tyler does understand.
“Except then you’re not really living are you, babe?” He takes my hand. “I promised myself a long time ago I would never let fear hold me back.”
Yeah, that’s because he has no clue what it’s like when tragedy strikes and your whole life crumbles. Living life recklessly doesn’t mean you’re defeating fear, it means you’re acting idiotic.
“Easy for you to say.” I pull my hand away. “You don’t get it. One moment… one lapse in judgment can ruin everything.”
“Running away is worse.”
Who the hell is he to judge me? “Sometimes it’s for the best.” A stray tear rolls down my cheek. “Waking up every day to something that triggers a memory of what could never be… a whole life planned… a life I wanted and then, poof, it’s gone. So I tried to pick up the pieces and move on, just like everyone tells you. Well, they forget the part where everything around you, the trees, streets, cars, people… even the air reminds you everything you once had is all a distant memory. It’s like the movie Groundhog Day set in hell. I couldn’t stand the torture anymore, so I left it all behind and started over.” The levee breaks, sending a river of tears streaming down my face. I quickly wipe them away and swallow hard. If I don’t get this out now, I never will. “Then I met you, and everything changed. The shattered pieces of me molded themselves back together.” I steady my trembling hand. It’s now or never, time to lay it all on the line. “You’re sexy as hell, funny at the exact right moment, bad-ass with a hint of hopeless romantic, and still a dreamer. You make every part of me come alive. I want to feel the way I feel when I’m with you forever… and you never want to settle down, which scares the hell out of me because now I can’t imagine being without you.” I breathe deep. “Tyler, I don’t want to lose you.”
He wipes my cheek with the back of his hand. “You won’t.” He pulls me on top of him and wraps his arms around me. “You rock my world, babe.”
I chuckle.
“Yeah, I know how it sounds. That’s why I write the music and not the lyrics. I’ve never been the best with words.” He runs his fingertips along my back. “You completely blindsided me… took me by total surprise. You’re hot, but you don’t realize it, smarter than anyone I know and can bring me to my knees with one look. You’re it… everything I want.”
He’s much better with words than he thinks. “Tyler, I think I’m falling in love with you.” Holy shit, the words just slipped out of my mouth. Oh God, he’s probably going to spring up from the couch and catapult me into the kitchen on his way to run out the door.
“Me too, babe.”
Okay, so he didn’t say those magic words exactly, but I heard them. I rise from the couch and take both Tyler’s hands, leading him to the bedroom. I walk backward, refusing to break eye contact. His intense stare radiates through me. Whoever said “a picture says a thousand words” hasn’t seen the look in Tyler’s eyes right now. They say more like a million.
Once my feet hit the soft bedroom carpeting, I instantly hunger for his touch. I drop his hands and pull his shirt over his head only breaking eye contact for a split second. I toss the shirt and press my lips against his, softly at first but quickly gaining intense passion. Everything’s different now. Like it’s the first time all over again.
I need to feel him, be close to him. Show him the things I can’t express. I untie his shorts and let them fall to his feet, sliding his boxers down with them. I take a step back. His tanned skin glows like a lantern, showing off his perfectly chiseled body. He’s flawless in every sense of the word. I take an extra second to admire him. He’s everything I desire in every way, and by some weird twist of fate he’s fallen in love with me.
> Tyler pulls me close by the waist of my jean shorts, ripping the button open. He slides his hands along the skin of my hips. In a split second, my shorts and panties fall to my ankles. He yanks off my tank top, throwing it into oblivion and presses himself against me so close that not even air can fit between us. He throbs against my belly, showing me just how much he wants me but it’s nothing compared to the desire that lurks inside of me. I’m stripped of everything right now, no worries about what will happen, no what if’s, nothing exists right now but the passion I have for this man.
I walk backward, still lip-locked, and pull him toward the bed. I reach into the nightstand and rummage through the contents until I feel a condom from the box I bought last week. I fumble with the wrapper and rip open the paper. My heart pounds inside my chest. It’s been a hell of a long time since I’ve done this but that stands true for almost everything going on in my life right now. I slide the sheath over his impressive length.
He lifts me, and I wrap my legs around him, pressing against him as hard as I can. He lets out a low moan. Animal instincts kick in, turning me into a seductress with no inhibitions. I sway from side to side until he slides inside me, wrapping my legs around him like a python. Electric shocks flow through me.
He slams us down on the bed and thrusts himself even deeper inside. I groan as the intense passion builds within, letting out a release of pure pleasure. My God, his talents are endless. All the walls between us fall down, and we find a place where anything goes, dirty rock star sex turns into amazing love making.
He flips us over, and I sit up straddling him. The uncomfortable almost embarrassed feeling from my lack of experience that normally dominates when I’m the one in control has completely disappeared. I rock back and forth, locking onto his intense stare. He bites his lip and breathes deeper. I pick up the pace, refusing to lose eye contact. I need to see him, to know that I’m giving him the pleasure he desires. He lets out a loud moan and releases his passion.
I fall on top of his chest, easing myself off him. The earth shatters every time Tyler and I make love, but today… the universe crumpled sending me into hyper-speed. I tilt my chin toward his face. He lies still, catching his breath. His blond locks spread across the bedsheets in a perfect mess. His skin glistens from the droplets of sweat formed on his hairline. I meet his gaze and lose myself in the blue hue. He’s never looked better.
We stare at each other, sweaty and satisfied, neither of us feeling the need to say anything. The last twenty minutes said it all… we’re in love. The weariness of the day takes over, and we drift off.
***
The crisp cool air cuts through, sending an array of golden leaves across the far end of the field. I glance at the scoreboard. Unbelievable, we’re one touchdown away from winning the final playoff game. It’s been like twenty years since the Seamist Tigers made it to state.
I turn toward the squad. “Ready… Go-Fight-Win.” Clearly not one of our best routines but it seems to get the crowd on their toes.
We grab our pom-poms and psych up the fans. Oh God, Josh is probably ready to puke. Everyone’s counting on him to bring it home. Doubt I could handle that kind of pressure. It’s not that I’d care if we lost, I mean it’s just a game but letting everyone else down is a tough burden to bear.
I glance at the huddle out of the corner of my eye. Only twenty yards for a touchdown. Josh takes his position and gives me a quick Miss America wave. I chuckle and do the same. It’s kind of corny, but I love how we have these little things, just between us. That’s our signal, we’ve got this. The ball snaps into Josh’s hands. He backs up… looks from side to side but no one’s open. I stop, mid-cheer, and stare. He cradles the ball and heads toward the sideline, running the play. The time ticks down on the scoreboard, only ten seconds left. Josh moves like a gazelle being chased by a lion. He leaps toward the goal line with only seconds to spare. I close my eyes, peeking through the lids. The clock winds down. Josh lands inches past the goal line. Touchdown! The Seamist Tigers are going to state!
Everyone rushes the field, but my feet refuse to move. The cool air douses my fiery cheeks. Today he’s everyone’s hero, not just mine. The players lift Josh up, carrying him across the field. I stand still, taking in the energy of this moment. He spots me and gives me “our” wave. A smile spreads across my face like wildfire. I wave back.
He jumps from the huddle and marches toward me. I finally will myself to head onto the field. Our eyes lock, and we both move toward each other, like missiles on a path to their targets. He flings his helmet and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a knock-your-socks-off kiss. A few fans slap him on the back or shoulder to congratulate him, not even realizing they’re interrupting the most romantic moment of my life.
He pulls away. “We did it, Al. You said it would happen and it did.”
I press my forehead against his. “I didn’t do anything. This is all you.”
He shakes his head. “Not even close.” He gives me a peck on the lips. “Don’t you get it? As long as we’ve got each other, we can do anything… rule the world.”
“I’ll shine up my tiara.”
The crowd dissipates. I take a step back and take hold of Josh’s hand. “Shana’s having a party. You up for it?”
“Hell yeah. Let me hit the showers, and I’ll pick you up at your house.”
I slam my lips into his one more time. Who knows, if we win state, I might be kissing Josh on television next week. “Hurry up. I need to congratulate my hero in style.”
He walks backward. “Looking forward to it.” Within seconds, he runs toward the locker room.
I head home and slip into a red sweater and black flirty skirt. Sure, the rest of the cheerleaders will stay in uniform, but since I have to make a pit stop at home to give my mother her car, I might as well use the time wisely. So working the graveyard shift at the hospital is no picnic, I get it. Still, it would be nice if I could have the car just once on the weekend. On the plus, she never knows what time I get home.
Two quick beeps sound outside my bedroom window. I slide the curtain to the side. Josh air drums on the steering wheel. He’s probably cranking up a Led Zeppelin album and pretending he’s living the dream. I hop down the steps like a caffeinated rabbit and bounce out the door.
The damp air sends shivers along every inch of my skin. Winter’s on its way and seems to last forever. I follow the white vapor of my breath and slide into the passenger seat. Josh spots me and turns down the radio.
“I was enjoying the concert.” I lean in and give him a quick peck.
His cheeks burn crimson red. “You got a front row seat, wanna be my groupie?”
“I’m already there.” I chuckle. It’s pretty much the truth. I’m in the front of the field, cheering for him every game. I guess I’m a super groupie.
Josh fires up the engine and takes off. Shana’s parents flew to New York for the weekend, something to do with her Dad’s job, so we’ve got a place to party and stay tonight. She even saved a room for Josh and I. Why is this ride taking so long?
The car skids across the curvy road. It swerves across both lanes, fish-tailing through the pavement. Josh grabs the steering wheel, trying to take control. I grip onto the seat for dear life. He turns the wheel to the right and pulls over to the side of the road. Thank God, we’re alive.
“You okay?” Josh leans over the center console so he’s almost sitting in the passenger seat.
I nod. “Yeah, what the hell happened? Is there black ice?”
“We slid on some wet leaves.” He sits back in the driver’s seat and holds my hand. “Two more blocks and we’re there.”
“Good, I could use a drink.” I tighten my seat belt and hold onto Josh’s hand like it’s my lifeline.
“Don’t worry Al, you know I’d never hurt you.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my fingers.
I melt into a puddle. How did I get lucky enough to win Josh’s love? Fate stepped in and brought the most amazing
man in the universe to the smallest town on earth and paired him with me. Most people don’t find a connection like this their whole life, and I’ve got it at eighteen years old. Our life together is going to be amazing.
Music blasts through the air, barely muffled by the closed windows of Josh’s car. It looks like the party is in full swing. He finds a parking spot at the end of the road, and we head inside. The moonlight glistens off Josh’s still damp hair on the short walk to Shana’s house. He’s the epitome of a sex symbol on the field but when he wears those perfectly fitted jeans and his football jersey I can barely stop myself from tackling him right here.
We walk inside, hand in hand. A group of players rush toward us like we’re in the middle of a play.
“Great game, buddy.” A voice yells out.
“We’re going to state, man,” Another guy says and hands Josh a beer.
Josh holds it up in the air. “To the Seamist Tigers, the new state champions.”
A roar of cheers drowns out the music. Josh takes a sip of his beer and puts his arm around me, guiding me to the living room. How can he be so humble? I mean, I love the fact that he never brags or takes the credit for himself, but he deserves some of it. If he wasn’t the star quarterback, the Seamist Tigers would still be on a losing streak. No matter what happens, good or bad, he always calls it a team effort. There’s no one else in the world quite like him.
“Hey, you guys made it.” Shana pulls me into a quick side hug. “If you’re looking for privacy I saved the last room on the left for you.” She winks.
Josh nibbles his lip. “Your call.”
Is he serious? I’ve been dying to get my hands on him for the past two hours. At least I have all night to revel in the wonder that stands before me. “Grab me a beer and let’s head up.” The words echo in my brain. Way to be romantic, Ali. It’s like a line from a ridiculously under budget B-movie.
He finishes his beer in one massive gulp and takes two bottles from the ice-filled bucket near the corner of the room. I nuzzle his neck, nudging him toward the steps. Other than prom and a few impromptu parties, finding alone time to spend with Josh is no easy task. It’s like I have to share him with the team, with the school, even with the town. Well, tonight he’s completely mine, and I’m not wasting a second.