by Amy L. Gale
She raises her eyebrows and smiles. “Yeah, it ended up getting you your dream job. Maybe you should be thanking me, dear.”
I grab a pillow from the couch and throw it at her. “You know what I mean.”
She catches it and nods, a smirk still gracing her face. “Okay, how about a fancy dinner. We’ll celebrate elegantly.”
“Deal.”
Knocking radiates through the apartment. Did Chloe order something while I was on the phone with Kate? No way, no delivery is that quick. Maybe she’s got something else up her sleeve.
“You expecting someone?” I nod toward Chloe.
She cocks her head. “My guests usually come to my apartment.”
I shrug. My heart beats in double time. Did Tyler see the article? Déjà vu floods through me. Doubt he’d have the same reaction twice, but then again he never fails to surprise me. I take a few steps toward the door. Jolts of electricity flow through my core. Why is my body ignoring my brain? It’s not him… we’re over. Amazing, hope exists even though all rational thought proves otherwise. I grip the handle and pull open the door.
Jenna and Lexie stand in the doorway, each holding up a copy of the magazine.
“Congratulations.” Lexie smiles.
I let out a deep breath. The smile gracing my face melts into a frown. See, not him. Why would he show up? There’s nothing here for him. Not anymore. Just burning passion and an endless river of love that I can’t give to him, we’re better apart. Now, if my heart would just listen to reason.
“Don’t be so excited to see us.” Jenna lowers the magazine, exposing a black strapless sundress that looks runway worthy.
I blink repeatedly, pulling myself back into reality. “Sorry, my brain’s on overdrive today. Come on in guys.”
“Uh huh.” Jenna flings her blond locks over a shoulder and struts inside.
Lexie follows. “Great article, Ali. Superb quality writing.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you guys like it.” A compliment from Lexie means a lot. Not just because I’ve fixed the tension with the band from the last article. Jenna probably cares more about that than anyone. Lexie truly understands what I’m trying to achieve. I mean, she’s done it. Plus, she knows if an article’s well written or just a bunch of words on paper.
They make their way inside and head to the living room. Chloe stares at the pair like the devil’s summoned them to steal my soul. She slides over, making room for them on the couch.
“I see you girls read the article. Let me guess, now you’re in Ali’s fan club?” She points to herself with both pointer fingers. “You’re looking at the president.”
“I’m in.” Lexie hi-fives Chloe and sits next to her on the couch.
Jenna takes a seat on the last cushion. She sets her purse on the table. “Everyone loves your article. Even Chaz… guess he can read.” She sweeps her gaze from my feet to my head, locking eyes with me. She stares through my soul. “Yeah, everyone.”
My heart drums against my chest, skyrocketing through me. Dammit. She knows exactly what I’m thinking. How the hell does she do that? At least I know Tyler’s read it. One question erased from my frazzled mind. I sit in the living room chair adjacent to the couch. “That’s great. I was hoping they all were happier with this article.”
Chloe looks at me, then back at Lexie and Jenna. “How’d you guys find Ali’s apartment?”
Lexie twirls her hair around a finger. “Tyler had it written on a piece of paper. I guess from the first time you guys met. He left it in the practice room. We figured we’d surprise you and congratulate you on the article. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course. It’s great to see you two.” Okay, there’s more to this than an impromptu visit. No way they kept a paper with my address on it from months ago. Lying isn’t one of Lexie’s strong points and Jenna’s never beats around the bush. “Can you guys stay a while? I’ll order in.” What are they up to?
“Sounds good to me. I won’t have to listen to Tyler mope and whine all damn day.” She slips off her stilettos and leans against the arm rest.
Ah ha, here we go. I look down at the floor trying to suppress the tears threatening to fall. What is she talking about? Tyler doesn’t whine or mope. He lives for the moment, like an outlaw cowboy. No risk too great to take and no regrets. He’s made it more than clear he never wants to be stuck in one place or tied down. Why would he send his cronies here? He knows we would never work out.
Lexie slaps Jenna’s leg.
“What… are we not saying his name?” Jenna shakes her head and huffs. “You’re both acting completely ridiculous. I mean, he’s a mess. And look at you.” She points in my direction.
I get it, Jenna’s back into her mama-bear mode trying to fix everything, if it was only that easy. I slowly lift my head, trying not to look her directly in the eyes. She turns me to stone.
“You just had an article published in a national magazine, and you’re acting like you lost your best friend.” She throws her hands in the air. “I get it, he fucked up. I warned you he’s not cut out to be the GQ model at these events. Honestly, I’m surprised you weren’t the one to clock that guy.”
Chloe scrunches her eyebrows and turns toward Jenna, almost crushing Lexie in between them. “What the hell are you talking about? He fought with Ali’s co-worker, and then left her there. Why would Ali fist fight… especially at a black-tie event? She’s like the most professional person.”
“I think your BFF skipped a few parts of the story.” She shifts her eyes between me and Chloe. “That Jake idiot threw digs at Ali all night, then got sloppy drunk and called her a whore in front of everyone.” She folds her arms across her chest. “If Tyler let that asshole get away with talking to you like that, I’d kick his ass.”
Chloe holds up her hands. “Whoa. So Tyler basically fought for your honor in front of everyone.” She jumps up from the couch and heads to the kitchen. “Yeah, that information kinda changes things… don’t you think?”
“I almost lost my job, was made a spectacle of at my first ever event, and the ballroom was pretty much destroyed. It’s not as romantic as it sounds.” We’re not in the middle of a chick flick. In the real world, it causes havoc and destruction. I mean, everything changed in a matter of minutes. Something I know all too well.
“I can’t believe you omitted all of this. You should’ve jumped into his arms and ridden off into the sunset.” Chloe grabs some glasses and a bottle of white wine. “Looks like he’s your hero yet again.” She points to the magazine article.
“I couldn’t… he left me there remember?” God, why is everyone turning on me and joining team Tyler? No matter how you look at it, he was wrong. End of story.
“He got scared and ran. Driver took him halfway home, then he regained some brain function and went back. You were already gone.” Jenna grabs a cup and pours some wine.
Okay, I get it. Facing a life you never expected terrifies anyone. I’ve run too. It never changes anything but he didn’t just run, he left me. And what the hell was he scared of anyway? “How can I trust someone who literally leaves me when I need him most?”
“You don’t get it, Ali. He came back. He realized he can’t leave you.” Lexie takes a glass of wine.
I grab a glass of wine and slug in down in one gulp. The cool liquid perks up my senses. Maybe even enough to get this room of hopeless romantics to understand reason. “Doesn’t matter. It’s over and it was destined to fail from the start.”
“Why? If you want it to work it will. Trust me, I’ve been there.” Lexie sips her wine.
What is she talking about? Not even close to the same situation. “You can travel with your work. You have it all. Plus, Van didn’t tell you… like a million times that his biggest fear is to settle down.” I take a deep breath. “Long distance relationships are torture… and I need to focus on my career.”
“Did you talk about it with him, or are you remembering things he said forever ago?” Lexie twirls her hair aro
und her finger. “Everything can change in an instant.”
A stray tear rolls down my face. I quickly wipe it away. No one on earth knows that better than me. “That’s exactly what happened.”
Jenna jumps up from the couch. “That’s it, I can’t take it anymore. You’re both torturing yourselves like two morons.” She grabs her cell phone and presses a few buttons, turning it on speaker. “You can decide yourself how he feels.” The ringing sounds throughout the room.
“Hello.” Tyler’s voice pierces my ear drums. It’s a voice I’d know anywhere but never thought I’d hear again. Tears stream down my face. I want to run to the phone, tell Tyler I love him and we can make it work. My feet plant themselves firmly to the floor.
“Hey, it’s me. We’re heading back soon. Want anything?”
“Nah, I’m reading Ali’s article again. It rocks,” his shaky voice cracks.
Oh my God, he’s read it more than once? I pick at my lip. Maybe he just thinks it’s good reading material. Yeah, that’s probably why. He is the hero of the tale.
“Did you call her?” Jenna sets her cup on the table.
“About a hundred times. She won’t talk to me.” He sighs.
Not won’t, can’t. He doesn’t understand I’m making things better for both of us. Why prolong the inevitable? It just makes things worse.
Jenna rolls her eyes. “What’s your problem? Where’s that love ‘em and leave ‘em attitude you and Chaz live by? We’ll be in Europe soon. You’ll forget all about her.”
“Not this time. I fucked things up big time.”
“What the hell is so different about Ali? I don’t get it.” Jenna flashes a smile and points at the phone.
“Everything.”
“That’s a lame answer.” She steps back and points to the phone.
“She’s different, Jenna. Not like the chicks on the road.” He exhales loudly into the phone. “She’ll try anything, and if she’s scared she sure as hell won’t tell ya. She’s tough, calls me on my bullshit. She doesn’t give a shit about the whole rock star deal. And being with her makes me think your life doesn’t suck so bad.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She gives a death glare to the phone.
“I don’t know. I guess I get it now. Why you and Marcus got hitched once we got signed. When I’m with her, it’s like the lights on the stage just blazed down, the energy from the crowd blasts me, like catching a gnarly wave. She’s the perfect high,” his voice cracks. “I’m really fucked. I can’t stand being without her.”
A live wire of tingles sweep through me. Do I make anyone else in the world feel like that? Tyler awakened me, turned me human again. He saved me way too many times and now I’m the only one who can save him. I can’t. I won’t be that broken girl… not again. An earthquake ripped through our souls, leaving a path of destruction. I can’t let it happen to us again.
A split second later, the levee breaks. I cover my face with my hands trying to stop the river of tears. My heart sinks to the ground. Dammit Tyler. Why? Why did I let myself fall in love you with you? I run toward my bedroom.
“Jesus, Tyler. I think you just wrote a ballad. Newsflash, maybe you should tell her all of this.” Jenna pivots, watching me flee to my safe haven.
“Yeah, I would if she’d talk to me.”
“I got this. I gotta go.”
I close the door behind me and launch onto the bed, hiding my face in the pillow.
Chloe comes rushing in. “Are you okay?”
I lift my head. “Not even close.”
Jenna and Lexie follow. Lexie sits on the bed next to me. She sweeps a few strands of hair away from my tear soaked face. “I hope those are happy tears.”
Is she insane? I sit up and wipe my face. “Why would I be happy?”
Chloe plops next to me. “Oh darling, are you for real? I mean, hello. He just professed his love for you to Jenna. And I think I just melted into a puddle in there.”
I shake my head. “It doesn’t change anything.”
“What?” Jenna folds her arms across her chest. “It changes everything. Are you deaf?”
“Ali, he pretty much said he wants you no matter what. I mean, what else do you want from him?” Chloe smirks. “Does he need to bring you the Hope Diamond or something?”
The trio stares at me like I’m some evil demon set on selling Tyler’s soul. They don’t know a Goddamn thing about what I went through and I sure as hell am not putting myself through it again. Maybe they need a dose of reality.
“What gives?” Jenna taps her foot.
Heat creeps across my face from my cheeks to my ears. “I’m not doing this to myself, not again.” I take a deep breath. “I had love before. Real, true love. I know what it is and I never thought I’d find it again… but I did.” I swallow hard. “When Josh died I didn’t want to live. I prayed a million times I wouldn’t wake up. But every morning my eyes opened and a few seconds later the pain gripped my heart like a vice.” A few more tears escape. “I can’t go through that every time Tyler leaves. I won’t see him for months or maybe longer.” I clear my throat. “I know it’s not the same but it sure as hell feels that way. Why should I let myself live in pain?”
Lexie covers her mouth with her hand, slowly letting it drop down her chin. “I’m so sorry, Ali.”
“Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing to him?” Jenna’s cold eyes burn through me. I swear, she lacks the sympathy gene.
“This may be the absolute worst celebration ever,” Chloe says. Leave it up to her to break the tension. At least someone still has my back.
“Yeah, let’s have a do-over. Jenna and I are planning a celebration for you Saturday and we won’t take no for an answer.” Lexie puts her arm around me.
“I’ll make sure she’s there.” Chloe pulls me into a hug.
Jenna joins the crowd turning the heart to heart into a four-way hug. God, another celebration with them might kill me. I’m pretty much dead inside anyway.
I bow my head toward the floor. She’s right. There’s no easy way out. We either both stay away from each other and try to pick up the pieces of our shattered hearts or stay together and completely destroy each other. No one wins.
CHAPTER 20—CELEBRATION
LIVEWIRE spelled out in huge letters brightens the dark sky, sending flickers of neon red sparks through the crowded street. I stare up at the flashing sign gracing the entrance to one of L.A.’s hot new night clubs. My stomach quivers sending waves to the pit. Why do I feel like I’m about to enter hell? Ah, maybe because one of Lucifer’s children planned tonight’s events.
Okay, so Jenna isn’t so bad, but she definitely has her moments. We walk up to the club, our heels clicking, creating a unique rhythm like we’re about to break into a choreographed dance. A line of people waiting to get in wraps around the corner. I step to the side and file in behind them. Looks like we’ll be heading back to my apartment and celebrating with take out and wine. We have a better chance of getting into the Oval Office than we do this club.
Jenna adjusts her painted on black mini dress and struts forward. “You guys coming?”
Lexie walks by Jenna’s side, her brown hair falling in perfect curls along her red tank dress. She gestures for Chloe and me to follow.
“I’m so out of my league right now.” I pat down my plain black skirt.
“You’re gorgeous. Less is more.” Chloe winks and grabs my hand. “Come on.” She pulls me forward, invoking her inner Mighty Mouse.
Easy for her to say, she could make a plastic bag look stylish. I almost run to keep up with her. Maybe those three have a shot at getting in using their, ahem, assets but I’m not playing the seductress card.
Jenna walks up to a man that looks like he just walked off the defensive line of a pro football team and whispers in his ear. Great, God knows what she’s promising. Probably things I’ll have to look up in the Urban Dictionary.
She tips her head toward the door. “Let’s go, we’r
e in.” She flashes a sexy smile at the man.
“The fabulous foursome rides again.” Chloe blows the man a kiss.
He muffles a smile and stands aside, waving the four of us in. I can just imagine the perks of his job. I fold my arms over my chest and march forward. Why did I agree to this?
Striking black and white décor greets me, giving the brand new club a cool retro vibe. Red laser-esque lines of lights hang along the walls. Black leather semi-circle booths surround a dance floor. A huge stage takes up the back wall. Sophistication meets Rock and Roll evoking a classic rock 70’s vibe. Okay, so the club is cool. Not really a dance club, more of a stand and sway style.
“This place is freaking awesome,” Chloe says as she swings in a circle.
“The band playing tonight rocks.” Jenna sports a sinister grin.
“Not Devil’s Garden, right?” My lips form a hard line. I mean, I’d love to see them live someday. Once this wound forms a scar and I have full function of my brain again, if that ever happens.
“Sorry, not that lucky. They’re called Riptide.” Jenna heads toward the bar.
Okay, never heard of them. Maybe tonight isn’t the disaster I anticipated. Hearing a new band and hanging out with the girls may be just what I need. Might as well live it up.
I push through the crowd, getting elbowed in a variety of places and make my way to the bar. Chloe dashes forward and wiggles her way to the front. She’d make a hell of a jewel thief with her stealthy ways. She leans forward, trying to get the bartender’s attention.
Jenna slides in between two guys. They move to the side like Moses parting the Red Sea. She struts forward, flicking a blonde lock over a shoulder. If a gust of wind blew her hair back, I’d think I was in the middle of a beer commercial. She takes a place at the bar next to Chloe. The bartender spots her and immediately comes to her aid. Lexie and I squeeze in next to her. What’s it like to live a day in Jenna’s shoes?
“Pick your poison, girls.” Jenna leans forward, exposing cleavage from the top of her strapless dress. “How about some Cosmo’s?”