by Amy L. Gale
However, Holly thought to herself as a wave of nausea rolled through her, in most cases the woman carrying the child knew who the man was who was responsible.
It was two o’clock when Holly finally walked through the door of the office. The receptionist looked at her with wide eyes and then the heads of the sales staff began to lift their gazes from where they sat at their desks pretending to be occupied with work. Holly marched through the remodeled warehouse to her corner office. She shut the door and pulled closed the blinds that looked out into the larger office. She set her bag containing the materials for the now canceled meeting on the desk, tucked her Gucci purse into her large desk drawer, and locked it.
She fell into her oversized leather chair and let out a breath. If the staff was surprised by the mere fact that she’d taken the morning off, which she couldn’t remember ever having done, what were they going to think when her impending doom became obvious?
Impending doom. Was that really what she thought about it? Yes, she decided, it was. She was an only child and an odd one at that. Her father had doted on her, but she’d never been able to pinpoint whether her mother enjoyed her company or was truly embarrassed by her oddness and over-excelling. One thing was for certain, Holly had always looked out for herself and no one else. How could she possibly think that motherhood was a good idea?
She pounded her hands against the leather. She didn’t think it was a good idea. She wouldn’t have been in this situation if she’d been thinking at all.
The tap at the door took longer to come than she’d expected. Tracy opened it slowly, steam rising from the cup of tea she carried with her.
“Feeling better?”
“I don’t think I’ll be getting better.” Holly stood and took off her Christian Dior suit coat. The swing coat had been her last purchase, and as she pulled it from her arms she brushed off the navy blue fabric and admired it as if it were the last beautiful thing she’d ever own. God, she’d need maternity clothes now. She draped it on a hanger and then hooked that on a rack bolted to the brick outer wall of her office where samples of her work hung.
Tracy stepped through the door. “Did you go to a doctor?”
Holly closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Tracy knew her too well. “Of course.”
Tracy set the tea on the desk and sat down in the chair nearest her. “Okay, so what kind is it?”
“What kind? What kind of what?”
“Well if you have a cold, you’re here. If you have the flu, you’re here. You had appendicitis and you gave a presentation and sealed a multi-million-dollar sale before you collapsed and were rushed to the hospital. So…” She folded her hands on her lap. “I assume this is some disease that’s kicking your ass. Do you have cancer?”
Tracy’s solemn tone had Holly bursting into laughter. It felt good to laugh. It eased things for just a moment.
Holly smiled for the first time all day and looked down at her best friend. Her long, flowing cotton skirt was a blue dyed design that Holly was sure she’d created in her own bathtub. The gold belt added the right amount of glamour to the outfit. Her long, mousy hair fell in natural curls well past the middle of her back, and no matter how hard Holly tried, she couldn’t convince her to color it. Tracy was forty-five, but her skin had been drenched in so many herbal creams she didn’t look much more than Holly’s thirty.
A crease formed between Tracy’s brows. “I assume you’re dying—and you’re laughing.”
“Oh, damn it, let me laugh. I’m still pissed off at you.”
“Okay.” Tracy wiggled in her seat. “Why?”
“You and your damn you’re-going-to-be-old-too-young crap.” Holly picked up the tea that Tracy had brought to her and sipped. She swallowed hard, trying to clean her mouth from the residue that always seemed to linger with Tracy’s brews.
“Does this still have to do with your birthday?” Her friend stood. She shook her head, which made her dangling earrings sound like wind chimes “You needed to loosen up. You had a great time. There was a part of you I’ve never seen. I’m not sure you’d ever seen the Holly that came to that party.” She smiled. “It was refreshing.”
“Yeah.” She sipped the tea again. Tracy was right. Holly had never seen herself like that either. “I don’t drink.”
“You did.”
“I don’t dance.”
“You’re great at it.”
“I don’t cozy up to strange men I don’t know.”
“Oh, but it’s fun, isn’t it?” Tracy laughed. “It’s been two months. You can’t still be hungover, and I’m sure after this long you’ve gotten over one night of being human.”
“Let’s just say that night changed my life.” Holly reached for her smock to cover her Dior suit. She opened the drawer of her drawing table and pulled out the designs she’d left there the day before.
Tracy followed her. “I don’t read good things into that statement.”
Holly just shook her head as she reached for the pen she needed for shading. “Let’s start with a few items. You’re my only friend.”
“Yes, but I’ve tried to remedy that.”
“I know. So who were the people you invited to my birthday party?”
Tracy blew out a breath. “Well, the Conners, Dickensons, and Martinezes. Then there was Alan, Reese, Oliver and Eileen, Tara and Sandy.”
“I know all of them. Someone brought a friend.”
“I think Tara brought a few of them.”
“Who were they?”
“Oh, hell, Holly. I don’t know. That’s the point of a party. Having fun and meeting new people.”
Holly nodded. “Well.” She put down the pen and turned on the stool toward her dearest friend. “That conservative Holly that we know and love lost a bit of control that night.”
“Too many mojitos.” Tracy’s nod and a little dance with her shoulders sent her earrings chiming again.
“As is the case. Point being, I think I ended up in a corner with one of those friends of a friend of Tara’s.”
“You looked like some high schooler in a lip lock.” Tracy roared in laughter. “I’ve never been more proud of you.”
“Wonderful.” She walked across the office to a small refrigerator in the corner and took out a bottle of water. She opened it, took one sip, and instantly felt nauseated.
“Didn’t you get his number?”
“No, I don’t really remember him at all.” But she had gotten something from him she’d never forget.
“You know, if we asked Tara, I’m sure we’d figure out who he was.”
“Two months, Tracy. It was two months ago.”
“Yes, but if he’s still on your mind, it would be worth looking into.” Tracy gave her a nudge and a smile.
“Yes. I think I’d better find him. It would be nice to know who he is.”
“Broke your heart, didn’t he?”
“Tracy, my heart is fine. But it would probably be a good thing to meet the father of my child before the baby is born.”
Tracy took the bottle of water from Holly’s hand, drank it down, and then sat right on the floor, her flowing skirt piled around her.
Holly gave a snort. “Yeah, that was my reaction too. Well, actually I think I did some yelling.”
“Holly…”
“I know.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m thirty years old. I guess I’m about to become a mother.” Finally hearing herself say it made the churning in her stomach worsen, and she ran out of the office and down the hall to the bathroom, where she proceeded to throw up the banana she’d managed to get down.
Tracy followed her into the stall. “Oh, God! No wonder you’re sick.”
“This has just been the annoying part. It only started a few days ago. It was reading that stupid stick this morning.” She wiped at her mouth with a handful of paper towels Tracy handed her. “The doctor confirmation wasn’t any nicer.”
“So what did they say?”
“The doctor? He said I was pregnant.”
“What else damn it?"
“I’m eight weeks pregnant.” She shook her head. “I’m as regular as the sun coming up each morning. Why did I not notice I skipped a period?”
“You were under a lot of stress.”
Holly wet another paper towel and wiped her mouth again. “I’m used to that kind of stress.”
“I’m not. It was our biggest client ever. My guess is you paid off your car with that check.”
Holly nodded. It had been worth the time and effort they’d put into winning the account. But still, how had she not noticed?
As Tracy walked her back to her office, Holly could feel the eyes of those in the office settle on her. She sat down on the couch as Tracy retrieved the tea she had brought in earlier and handed it to her.
“I guess this is the first time my tea won’t cure you.”
“I think I’m beyond cure.”
“This isn’t all bad, Hol.” Tracy sat down next to her. “I don’t have kids, so I’ll never have grandkids, so this will be fun for me.”
“I’m glad you’re excited. I’m just not sure I can share in that with you. This is not something I’d ever planned for. And, in any brief moment that I might have thought about it, I had included a husband.”
“It’s all going to work out you know. It just is.”
“I’m not made to be a mother.”
“No one is. I think it’s something that comes naturally.”
Holly rolled her eyes. “I’m not ready for this.”
“You have choices.”
Holly gritted her teeth. There were no choices as far as she was concerned. She would face motherhood head-on. But the heroic thought made her nauseated again. She forced the sickness down as she tried to cope with the fact there was no backing out.
Holly stepped off the elevator and made her way to her condo. She unlocked the door and set her bag in the hallway. She walked to her bedroom, saw her bed remained rumpled from last night, and pulled back her comforter. She couldn’t remember a day when she hadn’t made the bed, but today seemed to be an exception.
She thought to herself as she pulled the sheets over the down pillows, she’d had a lot of exceptions in the past few weeks.
It would be easy to blame Tracy. Truth was, she was old and stuffy, and she was still too young to be old and stuffy. Tracy had always held strong to the thought that Holly needed a free spirit, a little bit of a wild side. The experiment had gone horribly wrong.
Besides, having a child was like having a lifelong relationship commitment, and she wasn’t very good at relationship commitments. She’d had exactly two of them. The last one had ended disastrously with Greg reiterating what Tracy had always said—she was dull.
Be that as it may, she was successful and she was happy.
She didn’t need nights at the bar or vacations to places where people showed off more skin than clothes, and she certainly didn’t need a man.
But a baby needed a father.
Holly sat down on the bed she’d just made, realizing she’d only be climbing into it again in the next few hours. She put her head in her hands and began to sob.
Who would Holly have been had she not had her father there? Her mother was as uptight as she was. She supposed she got that honestly enough. But she’d never wanted to be like her mother, pretending she was something she wasn’t. It was her father who had kept her grounded and feeling a little less like the oddity she was.
Obviously she’d needed the moment of freedom to open herself up. After all, she’d somehow let Tracy talk her into the party. She’d had at least four mojitos, a few shots, and a glass of champagne. And she remembered the giddy feel of kissing the stranger in the corner of the bar—and she’d enjoyed every moment of it.
They’d gone back to his hotel. That much she knew. His eyes and hair were dark, and he was tall.
Holly wiped at her tears. Well, hell, how would she find him if he was in a hotel? That didn’t settle well. A one-night stand with a man who didn’t even live in town. Everything about the situation didn’t figure into her life at all.
She started a hot shower and scrubbed her face. What could she remember of the tall, dark stranger? She needed to think of something. What would she tell the baby about him when he or she asked? Oh I don’t know, dear, but he was handsome when I was drunk.
She’d have to come to grips with the fact that she’d have to ask Tara about the man. Sooner or later the world was going to know she was knocked up. Her humiliation was about to be as evident as her swollen stomach. She might as well start asking questions. Though if she couldn’t remember the details, how was anyone else going to remember them, especially two months later?
To make up for being late the day before, Holly arrived at the office by six thirty the next morning. By the time Tracy walked through the door, she had finished the designs she’d neglected and started a new series that was specifically baby-inspired.
Tracy picked up the design and looked it over. “Hmm, what’s on your mind?”
“Tall, dark, handsome, and completely mysterious.”
Tracy walked back and shut the door to Holly’s office. “Did you figure out who he was?”
“Nope,” she said, still adding a neutral green color to the overly cute turtle she’d just drawn.
“Tara said you weren’t with any of the guys she brought to the party,” Tracy whispered, as if they were in a crowded room and not alone within the brick walls of Holly’s office.
“Great. Did you tell her I was knocked up and needed to know?”
“Hey, snap out of the mood. Do you want—”
“No, I don’t want any tea,” she snipped and put down her marker. “Thanks.” She let out a breath. “Thanks for asking.”
“Do you want to know what I found out?” Tracy perched herself on Holly’s desk and crossed her bangle-clad arms over her chest.
“You know who I went home with?”
“What I know is that bar we were at, Maguire’s, is under new ownership. What I know is old man Maguire sold his well-established piece of Denver to his great-nephew. What I know is he was there the night we had your party.”
“Tara knew this much?”
Tracy nodded. “I said you wanted to see the guy from your party again, that you’d really hit it off.” Holly shook her head in disgust, and Tracy lifted her palms in the air. “Well… it’s true. But I said you weren’t sure which of her friends he was. She said it was the owner of the bar.”
A ripple of hope finally took over the nauseous feeling she’d had all morning. It was a welcome change. “It looks like we’re going to lunch today. Let’s see if my memory of tall, dark, and handsome is correct.
By the time Tracy made her way back into Holly’s office to head out to lunch, Holly had thrown up three times. She wasn’t sure if it was morning sickness or nerves.
They climbed into Tracy’s vintage Volkswagen Beetle and headed out of the parking garage.
Tracy patted Holly’s knee. “You’ll be fine. It’s not like the guy is a total stranger.”
“You’re not helping me.”
“Loosen up.”
“I did.” Holly squirmed in her seat. “I loosened up so much, I’m sitting here waiting to find out who saw it all.”
“Loosen up again and open your mind. You’re so negative.”
Holly shook her head. Pending motherhood seemed to have her even more uptight than usual. Her worst nightmares were already coming true. She was becoming her mother.
She’d really like a glass of wine. She’d have to find something new to calm her nerves.
The Denver lunch crowd wouldn’t make it into the bar until noon. They had arrived promptly at eleven to scope out the place and search out the owner of the restaurant.
The perky twenty-something hostess, with her dark hair pulled into a perfect ponytail atop her head, perfectly round breasts pushed against the tight white cotton of her T-shir
t, and the tiny sparkle of a nose ring, seated them in the corner by the window. The waitress who came to the table to get their drink order was a perfect match to the hostess.
“I’ll have water,” Holly said, looking away.
“Hot tea, please.”
“I’ll bring you a box to choose from,” she said and retreated.
Holly looked around to find three more girls dressed the same. It certainly didn’t fit her image. “Well, we know what his type is, don’t we?”
“Look for a bright side.”
“To hell with your bright side. By the way, I’m not naming the baby Tracy, just thought I’d throw that out there.”
“Hag,” Tracy whispered as the waitress returned with the box of tea bags.
They ordered their lunches, sat, and waited for a man, any man, to walk through the door. The only men to arrive were all in business suits, fifty, and not the man Holly had gone home with.
“Is there anything else I can get you?” the perky waitress asked as she set the bill on the table after their meal.
“There’s a new owner here, right?” Tracy smiled up at the woman.
“Oh, yes!” Her eyes opened wide, and the airy sound in her voice had Holly wrapping her arms around her stomach. “He’s very popular. Very nice to look at.”
“I’ll bet. He wouldn’t happen to be here, would he?”
Holly’s heart took a rapid rise in beats per minute as she scoped out the room.
“No, he’ll be here after one.”
“Wonderful, thank you.” Tracy laid her credit card on the bill, and the perky girl took off with it. Then she fixed Holly with an uncharacteristically no-nonsense stare. “You have the day off.”
“Excuse me?”
“Go home, pull yourself together. Put on some casual clothing and get your ass down here at one.” She signed the slip when the girl returned it to the table, gathered her woven bag, and headed for the door.
“I’m not coming back.” Holly followed Tracy to her car.
“Did you see the way she talked about him? He’s obviously slept with every woman he’s hired. Besides, I’m not his taste. Look around. I don’t fit the bill.”