Tall Tales and Wedding Veils

by Jane Graves

  Now she heard nothing.

  Wait. She did hear something. The front door? What was going on?

  She put her ear against the door and heard a sound in the hall. Footsteps?

  She backed away, but not quickly enough. The door swung open and smacked her squarely on the side of the head.

  “Ow!” she said, holding her head and glaring at Tony. “What are you doing?”

  “Aha!” he said, pointing at her. “You were listening at the door!”

  “I was not!”

  “Yes, you were! That’s pretty strange behavior for someone who doesn’t care what’s going on in the other room, now, isn’t it?”

  “I wasn’t listening at the door! I was just . . .” Her voice faded away.

  “Jealous?”

  “Oh, will you get over yourself? God. I’m standing here with brain damage, and all you can think about is you.”

  His gloating expression melted away. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” she snapped.

  He walked over and pulled her hand away from the side of her head. “It’s starting to swell. And turn purple.”

  “Great.”

  “Come with me.”

  Tony took her by the hand and led her from the bedroom and toward the kitchen. She looked around the empty apartment.

  “Where’s Babette?”

  “Gone.”

  “Gone? Why?”

  “She got a phone call and had to leave.”

  Tony opened the freezer and took out a sack of frozen peas. He wrapped a dishtowel around it, then sat Heather down at the kitchen table and pulled up a chair beside her. He lay one hand against her cheek as he pressed the bag to the other side of her head. She sucked in a breath, wincing at the pain.

  “Do I need to take you to the doctor?” he asked.

  “No. Of course not. I’ll be fine.” She took hold of the peas, and he leaned away.

  “In case you’re still wondering,” Heather said, “I wasn’t listening at the door when you came in. I was just . . .”

  “What?”

  She paused. “Picking something up off the carpet.”

  “What were you picking up off the carpet?”

  “Carpet fuzz. You know how I hate carpet fuzz.”

  “I thought you were sleeping.”

  Heather frowned. “How was I supposed to sleep when you kept barging through the door and waking me up?”

  “So after I woke you up, you just happened to look over and see some carpet fuzz on the floor.”

  “Yes.”

  “And you thought you’d get up and throw it away.”

  “Yes.”

  “Let me get this straight. You were lying in bed, nearly asleep, but you saw the carpet fuzz, and you felt compelled to—”

  “Oh, all right! I was listening at the door!”

  A smile crossed his lips. “Too bad you cracked, Heather. I was actually buying the carpet fuzz story.”

  “Oh, you were not,” she snapped.

  “You’re right. I wasn’t. But it was entertaining just the same.”

  “Okay, smart-ass. I have a question. Who called Babette?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “So she just got up, answered the phone, and left?”

  “Something like that.”

  “After flying five thousand miles for sex?”

  “She didn’t fly five thousand miles for sex, Heather. She’s a flight attendant.”

  “Okay, so she drove thirty miles from the airport for sex. Then she just got up and left with no explanation?”

  “Babette’s flighty. Pun intended.”

  “I didn’t hear a ring tone.”

  “She had her phone on vibrate.”

  “When I came into the living room, Babette was wrapped around you like an octopus. By that time, the vibrating phone was more sex toy than communication device.”

  Tony sighed. “You’re going to keep this up, aren’t you?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Babette didn’t get a phone call. I asked her to leave.”

  “You shouldn’t have cracked, Tony. I was buying the phone call thing.”

  “Right. So why were you listening at the door?”

  She stared at him evenly. “Why did you ask Babette to leave?”

  He looked at her. She looked at him. No answers from either of them.

  Stalemate.

  “Look,” Tony said finally. “I didn’t want to be with Babette, and you didn’t want me to be with Babette. She’s gone, so we both got what we wanted, right?”

  “Right.”

  “As long as we’re married, it’s going to be just us together. Anything else is just too weird.”

  “You can say that again.”

  “I was heading in to take a nap when Babette showed up. Shall we take one together?”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  Tony rose from the table, and Heather followed him to the bedroom. He kicked off his shoes, and they lay down on the bed. He put his arm around her and pulled her over to lie against his shoulder. She put the peas to her temple, and he held them there with his other hand.

  Heather drew in a deep breath, then let it out in a satisfied sigh. After a moment, Tony turned and gently kissed the top of her head, then let out a sigh of his own.

  It felt so good to lie here with him like this, with the afternoon sun angling through the blinds to infuse the room with a warm, hazy glow. With her ear pressed to Tony’s chest, she could hear the steady beating of his heart, and after a moment, his slow, rhythmic breathing told her he’d fallen asleep.

  Don’t get too comfortable. This is not forever.

  In her heart, she knew the only reason he’d sent Babette away was because he was something she’d never imagined him to be: a nice guy. One who didn’t like to see people hurt. It was the reason he’d concocted this crazy plan in the first place, and it was the reason she was lying here with him now. Once they had their annulment, though, she knew he’d be coaxing Babette right back into his bed again, along with any other tall, slender, gorgeous women he could get his hands on.

  Or maybe not.

  For just a moment, she imagined that Tony actually liked this taste of married life, that he was thinking about the possibility of making things permanent, that sometime in the next few days he’d tell her he wanted to hold off on their annulment, just for a little while, just to see where things might lead . . . .

  No. That was just wishful thinking.

  Tony was what he was, and spending a month as a monogamous man was never going to change that.

  Chapter 21

  After Heather got home from work the following Tuesday, she met Alison for a quick dinner, and then they went to Neiman Marcus at Northpark Mall so she could get a wedding present for Regina and Jason. On their way to the housewares department, Heather saw a display of scarves. She looked at a price tag. A hundred and twenty dollars.

  Neiman Marcus. It wasn’t nicknamed Needless Markup for nothing.

  “I can’t believe this is the only place Regina’s registered,” Alison said as they walked. “This is going to cost you a fortune. Why didn’t she register someplace like Target so people who aren’t made of money can actually get her something practical?”

  “Because practical isn’t prestigious.”

  When they reached the housewares department, they got a printout of the items on Regina’s registry and looked at it together.

  “What’s the cheapest thing on there?” Alison asked.

  “Let’s see . . . oh, my God. Will you look at the price of this flatware? Forty dollars for a single place setting?”

  “How about a toaster or something?”

  Heather scanned the list. “Okay. I can get her one of those. As long as I don’t mind spending two hundred and twenty dollars.”

  “For a freakin’ toaster? You can buy them all over town for twenty-five bucks!”

  “But it wouldn’t be a prestigious toaster.”

&nb
sp; Finally Heather settled on a set of four Waterford wineglasses for a hundred and twenty dollars. She gritted her teeth and handed the clerk her credit card, and a few minutes later, she and Alison were walking back down the mall. They passed the Body Shop, and something caught Heather’s eye.

  “Hold on,” she said, stopping in front of the window display. “Look at that.”

  Alison stopped and circled back, looking where Heather pointed. “Scented massage oil?”

  Heather smiled. “That could be fun. Come on.”

  “You’re buying massage oil?” Alison said as she followed Heather into the store. “What have you two been up to?”

  “You wouldn’t believe Tony’s imagination,” Heather said, laughing a little. “The things he comes up with sometimes just boggle my mind.” She grabbed a tester bottle of one of the oils and dabbed some on the back of her hand. “Oooh, this one smells like sugar cookies.” She held it out for Alison. “What do you think?”

  “I think you’ve gone off the deep end.”

  “Will you just smell it?”

  Alison did. “It’s all right, I suppose, as long as you fantasize about sex in a bakery.”

  After sniffing several more, Heather settled on two of the scents: coconut and sea breeze. After all, who hadn’t fantasized about sex on a South Seas island? She paid for them, and a minute later they were walking down the mall again.

  “Heather?”

  “Yeah?”

  “How do you feel about Tony?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve never seen you like this. You get positively giddy every time you talk about him.”

  “So what? We’re having a good time. I also get giddy at DisneyWorld.”

  Alison grabbed Heather’s arm and pulled her over to a bench to sit down, nearly sideswiping a woman pushing a baby stroller.

  “You know once you get that annulment,” Alison said, “he’ll be out of your life.”

  “I know.”

  “He’ll be seeing other women. A lot of them.”

  She thought about Babette. “I know that, too.”

  “Heather? How do you feel about him? Really?”

  Heather started to respond with her usual brush-off, but then all at once it hit her. You’re crazy about him. Absolutely over-the-top crazy.

  As the realization struck her, the strangest little tremor slid down her spine. When had that happened? When had she gone from being levelheaded and practical to being the kind of dopey, starry-eyed woman she’d always thought was silly? She hadn’t doodled his name on a pad of paper at her desk at work yet, but as she thought about it now, it wasn’t impossible to believe that she might.

  She looked away. “It’s just the sex. I’m going to miss it.”

  “Are you sure that’s all it is?”

  She started to say yes, only to realize what a lie that was.

  It wasn’t just in bed where she was crazy about Tony. It was in the kitchen when she was making breakfast and he sat there looking rumpled and sexy. At the bar when they were trying to keep up with a rush of customers, and they’d lock eyes across the room and she could tell what he needed her to do without him saying a word. At the tux shop when she told him one more time what an egomaniac he was, even as she knew the truth: Tony was probably the least self-centered man she’d ever met. It was the way he made her feel, as if he valued her brain outside of bed as much as he desired her body in it.

  In the back of her mind, she’d started to wonder if maybe there was another reason Tony sent Babette away the other day. Maybe he really was starting to think about her as more than just a temporary wife.

  No. She had to be realistic. Tony just didn’t like conflict. He wanted everyone around him to be happy. He’d do anything to make that happen, including passing up spending the afternoon with a hot Frenchwoman. Still, she couldn’t shake the hope she felt when she thought about him sending away that beautiful woman just so he could be with her.

  “Maybe it’s more,” Heather admitted. “A little bit.”

  “Oh, God,” Alison said. “Why didn’t I see this coming? Why did I push you into sleeping with him?”

  “Oh, will you lighten up? You act as if the moment we break up, I’m going to take a handful of sleeping pills.”

  Alison tilted her head and looked at Heather sadly. “No. It won’t be that drastic. But you are going to cry, aren’t you?”

  Heather stared at Alison, suddenly feeling a little shaky. “I knew what I was getting involved in. I also knew who I was getting involved with. I have no delusions where Tony is concerned.”

  “Yeah, that’s all very logical. But it won’t make it hurt any less, will it?”

  Heather stood up suddenly, grabbing her purse and the bag. “You’re making too big a deal out of this. Once we have the annulment, we’re calling it quits. And my life will go on.”

  “So the rehearsal dinner is Thursday night?” Alison said. “And then the wedding’s on Sunday?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’ll be splitting up soon after that.”

  “Yeah.”

  “What are you going to tell everyone?”

  “It won’t be as big a deal as you think. I’ll just smile and say, ‘Things didn’t work out. In the end, we were just too different, but it was sure fun while it lasted.’ If I’m not upset, nobody else will be, either.”

  “I guess the key to that is not being upset, huh?”

  “Exactly.”

  But never in her wildest dreams could Heather have imagined just how difficult a task that was likely to be.

  Before Heather knew it, Thursday had arrived, and she and Tony were heading to United Methodist Church of Plano for the wedding rehearsal. He’d put on slacks and a sport coat for the occasion, and she was reminded once again that no matter what he wore, or didn’t wear, he was so handsome he practically glowed.

  “Explain to me why they rehearse weddings?” Tony said. “You walk up the aisle, you repeat after the minister, you exchange rings, and you walk back down again.”

  “Oh, no. There are a lot of other things you can throw in. Like lighting a unity candle. Or having special music. Or reciting vows you write yourself.”

  “So how many of those things is Regina opting for?”

  “Knowing Regina, all of them.”

  “Sorry. I can’t see Jason writing his own vows.”

  “Of course not. Regina would write them and make him memorize them.” Heather thought about it. “On second thought, Aunt Bev would write the vows for both of them.”

  They pulled into the parking lot a little before seven. When they went into the church, Heather saw that almost everyone had arrived.

  Everyone but the groom.

  Fifteen minutes after the rehearsal was supposed to start, Jason still hadn’t arrived. Regina made breezy excuses for his absence, implying that he was such an important man with such important things to do that it was only natural that he might be delayed. But Heather didn’t miss the way Regina’s eyes kept flitting nervously to the door.

  “She’s making excuses for him again,” Heather whispered to Tony.

  “Why doesn’t she just dump the bastard?” Tony whispered. “I’m not real crazy about Regina, but watching Bev, at least I can understand why Regina’s the way she is. Jason’s parents seem perfectly normal, so what’s his excuse?”

  When Jason finally came through the door, holstering his BlackBerry, Regina’s relief was almost palpable. As the minister started the rehearsal, the bridesmaids were still chattering incessantly. Getting them to focus was like trying to get a litter of kittens to focus. Finally Regina’s snooty wedding planner got them paired up with their respective groomsmen, and everybody took their turn going up the aisle, with Tony and Heather bringing up the rear. They went through the blah-blah-blah of the ceremony, and when Bev intervened to make sure Jason knew precisely how to lift Regina’s veil when the time came, Heather glanced across at Tony. He gave her a subtle eye roll, followe
d by a smile.

  Heather smiled back, thinking this wasn’t the first time in the past few weeks she and Tony had shared a moment of silent agreement. As the days had passed, she found more and more that she was going to miss about him, and sometimes the sex was the least of it. And standing here in this church now, a bridesmaid once more, she wondered what the chances were that she’d find another man with whom she was as comfortable as she was with Tony, who also might actually want to settle down and become a married man.

  She didn’t even want to think about those odds.

  When the rehearsal for the ceremony was over, they went back down the aisle again, and a not-so-subtle disagreement erupted between Aunt Bev and the wedding planner over the placement of the flowers. Uncle Gene tried to referee, but as usual, Aunt Bev gave him her sharp tongue and evil eye. He went over to a pew and sat down, undoubtedly thinking about how he was spending thirty thousand dollars to get bitched at when the majority of the time it happened for free.

  Finally everyone left the church and headed to Forest Glen Golf and Country Club for the rehearsal dinner. Tony drove up the tree-lined lane to the clubhouse, a neo- Colonial brick mansion with white pillars and a fountain out front. Beyond the clubhouse were the rolling hills of the golf course, lit warmly by the setting sun.

  When they reached the front door, they got out of the car, and Tony handed his keys to the valet. They went inside and started toward the double doors leading to the banquet room.

  “You go ahead,” Heather said to Tony. “I need to visit the ladies’ room.”

  He nodded and continued on. Heather turned toward the hall leading to the restrooms, only to hear voices coming from that direction. Angry voices. She stopped just around the corner and listened.

  “No. Turn it off now.”

  “Regina—”

  “I said turn it off!”

  Heather heard an angry huff, then the sound of an electronic device powering down.

  “Now give it to me.”

  “No. I’m not going to—”

  “I refuse to sit through dinner with your phone constantly ringing. It’s embarrassing!”

  “Christ, Regina! Do you have to be such a bitch about it?”