Call Her Mine
Page 10
He followed her gaze to Aurelia, who was looking lovingly at B. She lifted her eyes, catching Ben watching her, and the adoration in her eyes intensified. His fingers itched to hold her. It was alarming how empty his arms suddenly felt without Aurelia or B in them.
Piper came out of the bedroom, looked at the two of them, and said, “Again? What is it with you two? Can’t you stop looking like you want to devour each other for five minutes?”
Aurelia’s cheeks burned red, and she blurted out, “Breakfast! I was about to make breakfast. Who’s hungry?”
“I would love one of Ben’s famous frittatas.” Willow looked pleadingly at Ben.
“You must have him mixed up with another Ben.” Aurelia headed into the kitchen. “He can barely make cereal.”
Oh shit. Ben tried to hide his smile as each of his sisters looked curiously in his direction.
Talia sat down beside Willow and the baby and said, “What are you talking about? He’s a better cook than all of us.”
Piper laughed at the shock and confusion on Aurelia’s face. “That was better than a cold shower.”
“Ben . . . ?” Aurelia crossed her arms, glaring at him. “What are they talking about?”
He went to her, and she stepped back, putting more space between them. “Come on, Rels. You can’t blame me for wanting more time with you.”
“More time? Seriously? You made me feel guilty when I didn’t have time to make you breakfast.”
He pulled her into his arms despite her struggles and said, “I’m sorry, but I just wanted you to stay. Is that so awful? I like being with you and watching your hot little bod moving around my house.”
She rolled her eyes, but there was still fire in them. “What else have you lied about?”
“Uh-oh,” Piper said.
“Nothing. I swear,” Ben said. “And this wasn’t really a lie; it was a hopeful coercion.”
Aurelia lowered her voice and asked, “Does B have more than four potential mothers?”
He heard one of his sisters inhale sharply.
“No. Jesus, Aurelia. I’d never lie about something like that. I just wanted you to stay with me, that’s all. Look, the cooking thing started as a joke. The first time I realized you had no idea I could cook, I was going to tell you after you made breakfast, but then I realized it bought me more time with you. And yeah, I took advantage, and I’m sorry. I’ll cook breakfast for the next year to make up for it.”
“Next several years,” she said defeatedly. “And if you lie to me again, about anything, your ass is grass.”
He drew her into his arms again, glad to see she was smiling, and said, “I change diapers. If I were really an asshole, wouldn’t I have found a way out of doing that?”
She banged her forehead against his chest. Then she looked up at him and shook her head. “You’re a pain.”
“I know.”
“And you’re making breakfast today.”
“I figured. Do you forgive me?”
She sighed and nodded.
“Damn, I’d have bargained for a lot more than that. Do my laundry, wash my car, do dishes forever,” Piper said, making everyone laugh.
Ben pressed his lips to Aurelia’s, and she pulled away quickly, her gaze darting to his sisters. Still holding her, he followed her gaze. As much as he’d wanted to keep Baby B a secret until he knew if she was his, seeing his sisters loving her up made him all kinds of happy, and he knew they were just as excited about him and Aurelia. He’d caught enough of their innuendos over the last couple years to know they’d assumed the two of them had hooked up or would eventually end up together. “Any of you have a problem with me and Rels being together?”
Talia was holding the baby now, and she said, “You’ve always been together.”
“I think it’s great,” Willow added as she scrolled through her phone.
“I can’t even imagine who else would put up with you.” Piper waved to Aurelia’s bedroom and said, “We set up the playpen, and I showed Aurelia how to convert it for the changing area and sleeper. You should be all set, and it’s portable, so you can take it to Ben’s. I’ve got a baby swing and a stroller in the truck. Want to get it now, or after breakfast?”
“What’d you do? Buy out the store?” Ben asked. Reality hit him with a dose of sadness. “She may not be mine, you know.”
“Like I said yesterday, any woman who leaves a baby at a guy’s house is probably pretty sure he’s the father,” Piper said. “But you keep living in the Land of Denial, Benny boy.”
“She’s right,” Talia said. “I have to go to work, but I have a question. Why are you looking for the mother if you don’t even know if you’re her father?” She hugged the baby one more time and handed her to Piper.
“I can’t just sit around not doing anything,” Ben admitted. “And honestly, I’m pissed at the idea of someone leaving her alone. Forget the disruption to my life. What if something had happened to her? And Vic needs her immunization records. What if she hasn’t had any shots? He said she needs more soon. It’s just . . .”
“It’s the right thing to do,” Aurelia said. “He has a right to know who the mother is and why she gave her up. If the baby is Ben’s, then he’ll have to explain that to her one day, and if she’s not”—she looked at Ben with sadness in her eyes, and he knew in that moment that she was becoming just as attached to B as he was—“then social services will need to know so when she gets adopted her history isn’t a mystery.”
Piper held B protectively against her chest and said, “She’s not being adopted. She’s Ben’s. I know it.”
Willow’s phone rang, and as she answered it, she said, “Oh, yay! It’s Bridgette on FaceTime.”
Bridgette’s voice rang out. “Let me see her!”
“Are you freaking kidding me?” Ben glared at Willow as he took the phone from her hand and met his youngest sister’s wide, excited eyes. Behind her, Bodhi gazed over her shoulder, stone-faced as always.
“Ben!” Bridgette said. “You have a baby! I call dibs holding her Sunday night!”
She ran through the twenty-questions game, and afterward Ben handed the phone to Willow and cradled B in his arms, thankful to have her back.
As Bridgette oohed and ahhed, Bodhi said, “If this yoga girl isn’t her mother, you should call my buddy Mason Swift. We worked together at Darkbird. He’s done bounty hunting, and he’s a PI. There’s no one he can’t track down.” After several years in the Special Forces, Bodhi had worked for Darkbird, a civilian company hired to carry out dangerous covert rescue missions. But after falling in love with Bridgette and Louie, he’d taken a job strategizing and training rescuers one week per month, with no chance of being sent away or risking his life. Bodhi’s mother owned a flower shop in New York City, and he’d learned all there was to know about the business. When he wasn’t training, he helped Bridgette run their flower shop.
Bodhi gave Mason’s phone number to Ben and said, “He lives in New York City.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate this.”
“Hey, Bridge, in other headline news,” Piper announced, “Ben and Aurelia are sleeping together.”
“What?” Bridgette squealed, and Bodhi treated them to a rare laugh.
“Piper! I hate you so much right now,” Aurelia said, her cheeks turned crimson again. “We haven’t slept together.”
“Seriously?” Piper looked confused. “Baby-making Ben didn’t try to—”
“Enough!” Ben snapped. He handed the baby to Aurelia and said, “Bridge, Bodhi, enjoy the rest of your honeymoon.” He grabbed Piper’s arm and hauled her toward the door. “Outside. Now.”
“What the hell?” Piper jerked her arm from his grasp.
“What’s between me and Aurelia isn’t up for commentary. And no jokes about B, either. This is a stressful time for all of us, and I don’t need you making Aurelia self-conscious. She has enough to deal with right now. Got it?” She opened her mouth to speak, and he said, “Don’t start. Every
time your mouth opens, trouble comes out.”
Piper smirked.
“Come on, let’s get the baby stuff inside. What do I owe you?”
She narrowed her eyes and said, “A date with Fletch.”
“Have you lost your mind?” he asked as they descended the stairs. “Not only is Fletch one of Talia’s best friends, but I’m not in the matchmaking business. Besides, if I set you up with Fletch I’ll have Harley breathing down my neck. No, thank you.” Ryan “Fletch” Fletcher and Harley Dutch were both friends of Ben’s, and he wasn’t about to get between them. Harley owned a pub in Sweetwater where everyone, including Fletch, hung out, and he’d had his eyes on Piper for years, though she didn’t seem interested.
“Harley, the muff marauder?”
Ben glared at her.
“We all remember the name Heaven Love gave him in high school. He might be hung like a horse, but I worry he’s all kitten on the inside.” She laughed. “Now Fletch, he seems like he’d be naughty in the bedroom. And those glasses? They give him a little extra something, don’t you think?”
“Piper, stop. Why can’t you get your own dates?”
“I can, mostly, but I’m told I’m too intimidating. God forbid a woman knows what she wants in the bedroom.”
“I don’t want to hear this.”
She grabbed the stroller from the back of her truck and said, “If you’re against Fletch, how about Aiden? That man’s hiding something. He screams Fifty Shades Red Room to me. Don’t you think?”
Ben shook his head as he grabbed the baby swing box. “No, and I wish I could erase the last two minutes with you from my memory.”
After breakfast Ben spent almost an hour giving Piper instructions about how to care for B. Aurelia had to admit, seeing Ben so protective over a baby that might not even be his was a definite turn-on. He acted as if he’d been taking care of B his whole life. But on the way to the yoga instructor’s house, Ben stared straight ahead, with a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel, bringing reality back into focus. Aurelia had initially thought she could do this because Ben was her best friend. He’d been there for her so many times, so she was returning the favor. But now he was her boyfriend, and it was like a switch had flipped inside her head. She was about to see a woman with whom he’d not only had sex, but might have also created a baby.
She felt like she might throw up.
And Ben didn’t look much calmer.
“Ben, are you sure about this?” she asked uneasily.
“No.” His eyes never left the road. “I’m a little afraid if it is her, I’m going to give her hell, and I don’t want to. I mean, I want to, but it probably won’t help the situation.” He glanced at Aurelia and said, “Are you sure you’re okay coming with me?”
“No, but I’m here.”
He reached across the seat, and as he took her hand, she noticed his was sweaty. “Thank you.”
“This is messed up,” she said. “I don’t blame you or anything. Accidental pregnancies happen, but . . .”
“Listen, Aurelia. This is a lot for me, and it’s my fault. I can’t imagine how it makes you feel. I appreciate you coming with me and sticking by me, but if at any point this gets to be too much and you want out, just tell me. I won’t hate you for it. I don’t want to screw up your life.”
“I don’t want out. I just want answers. I know you do, too.”
He nodded as he turned onto a dirt road just outside of town and pulled up in front of a quaint rambler. He looked a little green as he put the truck in park.
“Are you okay?”
“No,” he confessed. “But I’m glad you’re with me.”
She looked at the house, trying not to think about Ben having sex with someone else inside it. “Did you drive all this way drunk the night you were with her?”
“I wasn’t drunk. You know I don’t get tanked.”
That should make her feel better, because he wouldn’t have risked lives on the road, but it just made the reality of his one-night stand hit harder. “This is where she lives? How can you remember that and not her name?”
“This is where we came that night. I had to focus so I knew how to get home. I know this makes me a dick, but her name wasn’t important at the time. Jeannie or Jenny—whatever it was didn’t make a difference. We were both only in it for the night.” His chest rose as he inhaled a long, uneven breath.
“Can I ask you something that might be uncomfortable?”
A small, strained smile lifted his lips. “More uncomfortable than admitting to you all that I have about this situation? Or more uncomfortable than asking a woman if she dropped off a baby on my doorstep?”
“Both. How do you go from one woman’s bed to the next like that? Doesn’t it feel weird not having a stronger connection? How can you even . . . You know?”
His jaw tightened and he turned away, staring out the window.
“I’m not just being nosy,” she said. “I really want to know.”
“You’ve had one-night stands. You know what it’s like. For a brief period of time you’re not thinking about what you don’t have. You’re just thinking about not thinking for a little while. Disappearing into something that feels good so you don’t have to feel bad.”
The idea of Ben feeling bad tweaked her heart unexpectedly, especially given the circumstances, when jealousy should be her overriding emotion. “You have everything, Ben. An amazing family who loves you, friends, a career that most people only dream of, a house, a truck that cost more than the bookstore I just bought. What could you possibly feel bad about?”
He turned slowly toward her with a tense expression, as if it was all he could do to hold his emotions in check. “That I was filling a void where you should have been, and I knew it, but I never stopped to fix it.” His eyes went glassy, and he said, “And now there’s a little baby whose entire life will most likely be overshadowed by that weakness.”
Tears burned in her eyes, not just because of what he’d said about her but because of how deeply he’d thought about B and the impact his actions might have on her life.
“I take full responsibility, Rels. But if you want to know what each of those times was about, I’ll tell you. Those were the nights you had dates with other guys, and I’d have done anything to escape the gnawing in my gut caused by the thought of you being touched by someone else.”
“Ben . . .” Her throat thickened, making it hard to speak.
“I’m sorry. As I said, this is all on me. I was an ass, always waiting for the right time. And in the end I chose the worst time of all.”
Her thoughts were spinning so fast from his confession, the truth poured out. “Ben, I don’t do one-night stands. There wasn’t anyone touching me.”
His brows slanted in confusion.
“I mean, once, in college,” she admitted, “but not since.”
“What about the football guy and the designer?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t do anything but kiss them good night. Until last night I hadn’t been with anyone since I broke up with Kent.”
His eyes filled with disbelief. “Aurelia, I might have a kid. It’s not like you have to hide indiscretions.”
“I’m not. I didn’t want you to know because you were going out and having fun, and there I was, hanging on to my unrequited emotions, which made me a loser.”
He reached across the seat, and his arm circled her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. He pressed his lips to hers and said, “They weren’t unrequited, and you could never be a loser. If anyone is a loser, it’s me, for thinking a brief encounter could ever take my mind off you.” He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand and said, “I’m sorry to put you through this, and I’m sorry to put B through this—and her mother, whoever she is. If I’d told you how I felt sooner, this might not have happened.”
“I didn’t exactly make it easy for you. I never thought you’d want a girlfriend, so every time you joked about getting together in that way, I blew you o
ff.”
“I still could have pushed.”
“And I would have pushed back. Ben, you can’t blame yourself for a relationship not happening when it was just as much my fault.” She glanced at the house and said, “We should get this over with.”
He swallowed hard, his brow furrowing. “What should I say to her?”
“I think you can lead with something like, ‘Did you drop a baby off on my doorstep?’”
He laughed. “Smart-ass.”
“Made you smile.”
They climbed from the truck, and as she came around the front he said, “Are you sure you want to come up to the door?”
“Would you rather I didn’t?”
“I’d rather you did, but I get it if it’s too difficult.”
She laced her fingers with his and said, “I already feel like I’m going to puke. What’s a little more discomfort?”
Aurelia thought she was going to puke? Not only did he feel guilty as fuck for dragging Aurelia through this—and for the baby’s sake—but now, as they approached the house, he was pretty sure he was going to pass out. “What if she thinks I’m here because I want to hook up again?”
Aurelia held up their joined hands and said, “Unless she’s into threesomes, I think you’re safe. You’re really nervous, aren’t you? I’ve never seen you like this. You’re sweating.”
He gave her a sideways glance. “What if it’s her? I don’t know that I’ll be able to keep from giving her hell, and I’m really trying not to get attached to B, but—”
“You too?” She stopped walking halfway to the front door and stared up at him. “I’ve been trying so hard not to snuggle her too much, or think about how amazing she smells or how her cheeks are softer than anything I’ve ever felt. Or how I love it when she wraps her tiny fingers around mine. And when she’s in my arms, sometimes I just want to cry for her, because she was abandoned by her mother. But I know she might not be yours, so I hold it all in because I’m afraid of how much it’ll hurt if she’s taken away.”