Call Her Mine

by Melissa Foster

  He turned his hand over and squeezed hers, his gaze drifting to Bea. “I just want to protect her.”

  “We all do, and that will never change. When she’s thirty and falls in love with a wonderful man, you’ll still worry over every little thing, but the decisions will be out of your hands. The only question is, will you have given her the foundation she needs to build a solid life, or will an unexpected crack appear, threatening everything she has ever believed to be true?”

  Aurelia sat in the rocking chair in Bea’s nursery, worrying with her hands. Her mind sprinted even faster down a terrifying road. She closed her eyes, but the visions of a dark forest closing in on her were suffocating. In her mind she saw a fork up ahead and absently pressed both feet hard and flat on the bedroom floor. To her right she saw herself standing with Ben and Bea. The image was crystal clear and light as day. To the left was just her and Ben. Her throat tightened, and she gasped, clutching the arms of the rocking chair. The darkness behind her lids drew her attention straight ahead of her, where she saw a blurry image of Caroline. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t conjure a clear picture of the woman. Either she’d been so blinded by fear she hadn’t let her face take hold in her memory or she’d blocked it out of anger. Either way brought just as much pain to the center of her chest, like an empty, gaping hole.

  “Rels?”

  She heard Ben’s voice and searched for him in the darkness, but he was gone. He called her name again, and she felt his hands on hers. “Ben!” Her eyes flew open and she found him kneeling before her. The air rushed from her lungs as she fell into his arms. “Ben, I’m so scared.”

  “I know, baby. I am too.”

  “There’s no right answer. She’s Bea’s mother and you’re Bea’s father. She’s not mine, but I feel like she is, and that’s not supposed to be what this is about.”

  He drew back, taking her face between his hands. Anger and sadness warred in his stormy eyes as he said, “She’s ours, Aurelia. Not just mine. Ours.”

  She nodded, but more tears fell. “She’s hers, too. We can’t ignore that.”

  His jaw clenched, and when he opened his mouth to speak, no words came. His forehead fell to her shoulder as his arms circled her. They clung to each other, shedding tears, swimming against a raging tide as the weight of the morning swamped them.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  LATER THAT AFTERNOON, Ben and Aurelia sat with his family in Willow and Zane’s living room, which should have been brimming with smiles and laughter in celebration of Mother’s Day. Instead, he held tightly to Aurelia’s hand, meeting his family’s distraught faces. He’d just told them about Caroline showing up. Thankfully, Derek, Flossie, and Alisha had taken Jonah into another room, and Bodhi and Zane were playing outside with Louie, giving them privacy.

  “Oh my God, Ben,” Willow said wistfully. “You can’t let her take Bea away.”

  “Did you ask if she wanted to take her?” Bridgette asked.

  “She abandoned her,” Piper snapped. “That woman’s not taking her. I’ve got your back, Ben. You tell me when, and we’ll go tell her how it’s going to be.”

  “But you wouldn’t even know she existed if not for her,” Talia, always the most levelheaded, reminded him. “I think you should hear her out. She’s not demanding money, is she?”

  Piper glared angrily at Talia. “Hear her out? She left the baby on the doorstep. The only thing Ben should hear out is his foot kicking her ass out of Sweetwater for good.”

  “Piper, you’re not a mother!” Bridgette snapped. “You can’t know why she did it or how she’s feeling. I can’t imagine how hard it was for her to leave that sweet baby in the first place.”

  Piper pushed to her feet and seethed, “So you think he should just hand her over?”

  “No! I’m not saying—”

  “Girls!” Roxie snapped, clutching Bea to her chest. “Stop, please. This isn’t a matter that can be settled by accusations and assumptions.” She turned concerned eyes to Ben and Aurelia and said, “I know you’re both hurting, and you’re scared, but I’m with Flossie on this one. You said she suggested you talk with Caroline and get the answers before making any rash decisions. Ben, you have more money than you know what to do with, and you’re her father. Caroline can’t take her away without a legal battle. And that’s not something I am condoning. I’m just pointing it out. But this isn’t about you, Aurelia, or even Caroline.”

  His mother smiled down at Bea, lovingly stroking her cheek, and said, “This is about this innocent baby girl, where she came from, what her future will hold.” Her eyes found Ben’s again, and he felt her pain the way he now understood only a parent could feel the pain of their child. “Benny, this is one of the most important decisions you will ever make, and you must remember that it’s not about the hurt you feel for your daughter, or how much you want to protect her, or your own heart, or Aurelia’s heart. It’s about the hurt your daughter will feel if she finds out you kept her from seeing her birth mother.”

  Guilt strangled Ben, making it hard to breathe, even harder to think clearly. He shifted his attention to his father, the only one who hadn’t given his two cents, and said, “Dad? What should I do?”

  His father looked around the room at each of his children, who were all sitting on the edge of their seats, except Piper, who was pacing, arms crossed, jaw clenched. Willow sat beside their mother, looking like she was going to cry as she gazed at Bea. Talia was watching Ben, her serious eyes peering out from behind her glasses, imploring him to talk to Caroline. When his father’s eyes met Aurelia’s, her grip on Ben’s hand tightened, and he felt her trembling. Then his father’s serious eyes found his, and he saw so many conflicting emotions, it was like looking in a mirror.

  “Son,” his father said, “do you remember what I said about giving people space to make their own mistakes?”

  Unable to form a single word, Ben realized he was holding his breath, and he nodded.

  “We raised you to be a good man, and you have excellent judgment. I trust your instincts, and I know you’ll make the right decision for all of you.”

  What the fuck? That wasn’t an answer. “Dad—”

  His father held up his hand, silencing him, and shook his head.

  Piper scoffed. “In other words, you’re giving Ben enough rope to hang himself.”

  “You of all people know that a rope can be turned into a lifeline, a sturdy bridge, or a noose,” his father said sternly. “Have some faith in your brother.”

  Piper rolled her eyes and seethed, “I’d rather give that woman a piece of my mind. I have faith in that.”

  That sparked an uproar of angry comments, heartfelt pleas, and accusations. Ben pulled Aurelia closer. He realized he was surrounded by all the people he loved on Mother’s Day, a day that should be celebrated. A day he’d wanted to be the most memorable and wonderful for Aurelia. And just a few streets away, Caroline was probably bawling her eyes out alone in an unfamiliar room.

  He pressed a kiss to Aurelia’s temple as his family battled out his war, and he said, “Rels, can I talk to you privately?”

  She nodded, and as they pushed to their feet, his family silenced, all eyes turning to them.

  “I want to talk to Aurelia alone for a minute.” He led her out of the living room and up the stairs. When they were out of earshot of the others, he sat on a step and pulled her down on his lap. She looked like she was balancing on the edge of a knife, afraid to move.

  He kissed her softly, holding her close as he said, “What a clusterfuck of a Mother’s Day, huh?”

  She lifted one shoulder.

  “I’m sorry, babe. I’m sorry for losing my temper and for the nightmare that we’re in.”

  She swallowed hard. “What do you want to do, Ben?”

  “I don’t think it’s about what I want to do any more than it’s about what Caroline wants to do. I can’t stop thinking about what you said earlier, about not being able to ignore that she’s Bea’s mo
ther. You know you’ve become Bea’s mother in my eyes, but I feel sick to death because it’s Mother’s Day and I just slammed the door in the face of our baby’s biological mother.” He slid his hand to the nape of her neck, as he’d done so often, and touched his forehead to hers, tears burning as he said, “I don’t know what’s right or wrong, but I know I won’t be able to live with that and still look into our little girl’s eyes and feel like I’m the father she deserves.”

  “I know.” Her voice was a fraying thread. “I just keep thinking that if my grandparents had lied to me about my mother, it would have totally messed me up. I don’t think it would help knowing that they thought they were protecting me. It would feel like a huge betrayal, and I could never fully trust them again. Ben, it’s not just that, but look how much our parents affected who we are. If they’d lied to me, it would have made trusting anyone else, even you and your family, much harder, if not impossible. I don’t want that for Bea. We’re adults. We can weather any storm. But she didn’t ask for any of this.”

  She had taken the words right out of his mouth. “I know, babe. Will you come with me to see her?”

  “I want to, to support you, but I think this has to be between you and Caroline. I worry she’ll feel ganged up on, and that will put her on the defensive. But if you need me, I will go with you.”

  His love for her seeped into every crack and crevice of his being, filling spaces he’d never known needed filling. “I will always need and want you,” he said as he embraced her, soaking in her essence, her love, and her unconditional support. “But I’ve got this, babe, for all of us.”

  After spending way too long explaining to a certain sister why he had to see Caroline alone, Ben gave Bea and Aurelia more kisses and tighter hugs than ever before, and then he headed over to the inn. As he made his way to Caroline’s room, he tried to prepare what he’d say when he saw her, telling himself not to go off on her again, to count to three before saying a word.

  By the time he reached her door, adrenaline had him wide-eyed and breathing hard. I can do this. Calm. Be fucking calm. He squared his shoulders and knocked.

  The door opened slowly, and he was surprised to see a man standing on the other side. The slim man’s head was shaved to a sheen of stubble, matching his scruff. Thick chestnut brows accentuated kind green eyes.

  “I’m sorry. I think I have the wrong room,” Ben said nervously.

  “No. You have the right room, Ben.” He had a gentle demeanor and wore a checked dress shirt and jeans. He looked younger than Ben, maybe in his midtwenties. “I’m Brad, a friend of Caroline’s.” Ben took his proffered hand, and Brad said, “I’m glad you came. Come in, please.”

  Ben stepped into the room, thrown by the man’s friendly greeting after the way Ben had treated Caroline, and was met with an Asian man dressed in all black, standing just a few feet inside the room.

  “This is Nelson, my husband,” Brad said as Nelson offered his hand and a nod.

  “Hi. Ben Dalton,” he said, shaking Nelson’s hand.

  When Nelson stepped aside, Ben’s gaze swept over a sofa and armchairs, and just beyond, Caroline, lying on the bed. He hadn’t noticed how gaunt she’d looked that morning. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks still damp from tears. She looked embarrassed as she pushed up to a sitting position. He was the one who should be embarrassed after the way he’d treated her.

  “Careful, Car,” Brad said as he and Nelson went to her.

  “I’m okay,” she reassured them. Looking sheepishly at Ben, she said, “I didn’t expect to see you again.”

  She spoke slowly, and some of her words ran together, but Ben could tell she wasn’t drunk. He wasn’t sure what he was dealing with, but it was clear that Caroline was not the same vivacious woman he’d met at the bar all those months ago.

  Regret peppered him like machine-gun spray as he said, “I’m sorry for how I treated you—”

  “It’s okay,” she said softly. “I deserve it. Believe me, I’ve been beating myself up since I left her on your doorstep.”

  Brad put his hand on her shoulder and said, “Caroline is a good person, Ben.”

  She smiled at Brad, and then she said, “I’m no better than anyone else, though. But I need you to know, I didn’t intend to leave her with a note.”

  Nelson waved to a chair and said, “You should sit down.”

  “Thanks, I’m good.” Ben remained standing, eyes on Caroline, trying to think past the rush of blood in his ears. “Why did you?”

  “I think Nelson’s right. You should sit down for this,” she said.

  Something in her tone made him sit.

  She inhaled deeply and blew it out slowly. Then she moved to the chair nearest him. Nelson sat on the love seat, and Brad remained standing. He placed his hand on her shoulder again, and she reached up, putting her hand on his.

  “When I realized I was pregnant, I thought about finding you and telling you. But that night we were together, all you talked about was the woman you were in love with, and even though you were trying to forget her, I got the feeling you weren’t done with her. I didn’t want to mess that up.”

  “Then why did you track me down? And how did you find me?”

  “I had no one else to turn to. I had to find you, and you’d told me the name of your company and that you were from Sweetwater. It took only about three seconds to find you on Google.”

  Of course . . .

  “Ben, I’m glad you came, and I want to tell you everything, but it needs to be in short form. I had some trouble with headaches and fatigue during my pregnancy, mood swings, too. My sense of smell was off, and sometimes I couldn’t think clearly. But I was pregnant, so I expected some changes, and my doctor wasn’t worried. Two weeks after I gave birth, the headaches worsened, and there were times I could barely function. I went in for tests, and they found an inoperable brain tumor.”

  A pained sound escaped Ben’s lungs. “Caroline . . .” he said, but there were no words to describe the pain and regret consuming him. More importantly, he knew that pain was nothing compared to what the three other people in the room were going through.

  Nelson put a hand on Ben’s back and said, “It’s a lot to take in.”

  “Yeah,” was all Ben could manage. “Why didn’t you call me?”

  “She didn’t tell anyone,” Brad said. “I didn’t even know about Janie until yesterday.”

  “I don’t have close friends in LA, at least not friends I wanted to burden with this. And I guess I was in denial, trying to care for Janie and prove the doctors wrong. But it was becoming harder to focus, and my headaches were getting worse. I couldn’t fool myself any longer. I knew I couldn’t care for her, and I also knew it was unfair to think I could just show up and spring her on you, but other than Brad and Nelson, I’m pretty much alone in this world.”

  Ben tried to process what she’d said, but he was still trying to wrap his head around her fate.

  “The morning that I was going to see you,” she said, “I had a headache so debilitating, I couldn’t speak. I was drooling, my vision blurred, and all I kept thinking was that something could have happened to Janie. The headache didn’t fully subside, but it eased enough to drive, and that’s when I took her to your house. I was so afraid that I’d get hit with another one and not be able to explain, I left the note and waited down the block where I could see the front door. Once I knew you’d found her, I left town. I was heading back to LA, but I had a seizure in the parking lot of the airport. A nurse who was on her way to catch a plane saw me. I got lucky. She knew what to do to make sure I didn’t choke. After I came out of it and regained control, which seemed like hours later, she wanted to take me to a hospital, but I convinced her to call Brad, who lives in New York City. He and Nelson have been helping me ever since.”

  “We didn’t know any of this,” Brad explained. “We didn’t know she had a baby, much less left her on your doorstep. We would have been there for her throughout her pregnancy, the
birth, helped her care for the baby.”

  “Her seizures have gotten worse, and yesterday she told us about Janie because she was afraid to drive herself here to see you,” Nelson explained.

  Ben felt like he’d been gutted—for Caroline, for Bea, and for Brad and Nelson, too.

  “I don’t want to take her from you, Ben.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I’m so sorry to do this to you. I knew you could afford to take care of her, though I wasn’t sure you would want her. But when we were together that night, the way you spoke of the woman you were in love with, and your family, I knew in my heart that if Janie had any chance of finding a loving home, it would be with you. I’m so thankful you took her in.”

  Fighting tears, Ben reached for her hand. “Caroline, I’m so sorry. I’ll help in any way I can. Get you the best doctors—”

  Tears slipped down her cheeks, and she said, “I’m grateful for your offer, but nothing can be done. I don’t have a lot of time left, but I’m glad to know Janie has a chance for a new beginning and that she’ll be loved.” Sobs stole her voice, and Brad wrapped his arms around her.

  “I know, Car,” Brad said, giving Ben a look that told of his love for his friend and his grief over losing her.

  Nelson pressed a kiss to Caroline’s head, and Brad stroked his cheek, giving him a reassuring nod. “Excuse me,” Nelson said, and then he went into the bathroom.

  “I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay,” Caroline said, as if she were convincing herself. She wiped her eyes and sat up straighter, as if she practiced schooling her expression daily, and said, “I have medications to help, but I have only a few weeks left. I just want to see Janie one last time, to hold her, kiss her, smell her. I want to apologize to her and tell her how much I love her.”