Secrets & Surrender

by L. G. Castillo

  Taking the blanket out of the trunk, we walked to the riverbank. He picked a spot and flicked it open. Then turning to me, he said, “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

  I swallowed thickly. Uh-oh. Here it comes.

  “Mandi, I know you have a hard time trusting me.”

  “I trust you.” He raised an eyebrow. “Okay, so maybe it took a while for me to open up to you. But can you blame me? I mean, how was I to know that you were serious about us?”

  “You’re right. I went about this the wrong way. And at first, it was because I’d never met anyone who’d turned away from me. I admit, girls usually came easy for me. But meeting you, you’re so different from anyone I’ve ever met.”

  “Of course, I’m one of a kind.” I gathered my dress and plopped down on the blanket. “You should be so lucky I let you hang with me, considering the lame preppie clothes you wear and the fact that you think Slash is the ultimate guitarist.” I grinned.

  “That part is debatable.” He chuckled and sat down beside me. His face turned serious. “But not the part where you’re one of a kind. You’re the only one for me, Mandi. I hope you can see that.”

  “I do,” I whispered softly.

  “Are you sure?” Hazel eyes searched mine for an answer. “Sometimes I feel like you’re holding back from me. Maybe you don’t want me to go with you to SWT?”

  “No. Oh, Nic.” I kissed him gently, swallowing back the truth and hoping my kisses were enough for him. “I do want you with me. I—ouch!”

  “What’s wrong?”

  I pulled at one of the dozen red rhinestone bobby pins that held my mass of curls off my shoulders. I held up the flower-shaped rhinestone pin. “This damn thing’s been stabbing my head all night.”

  “Then why did you wear them?” He laughed as he helped me take the pins out of my hair.

  “Cassie thought I should wear my hair up. She said I have a pretty neck.”

  Loosening a pin, a strand of hair fell to my shoulder. He leaned in close, hot breath hitting against my skin. His fingers glided down my throat sensuously. “It’s more than pretty. It’s beautiful.”

  “Nic.” My breath quickened. His lips hovered over mine, tempting, teasing.

  “Mandi, I love you.”

  Warm hazel eyes held onto mine, waiting for me to say those three words back to him. I opened my mouth to tell him I felt the same way, to tell him there was no one else in the world who made me feel the way he did. The words were stuck in my throat.

  Instead, I crushed my lips against his. I kissed him with such passion that he jerked back, taken off guard. I clutched the lapel of his tuxedo jacket, deepening the kiss and keeping him close to me. I desperately wanted to show him the words that were trapped inside of me.

  My hands flew over the buttons of his shirt. I needed to feel his skin, his warm body, against mine. Nic moaned when I pressed my lips against his well-defined chest. Slowly, I kissed every inch of him. My fingers trailed down his muscled abdomen.

  “Mandi.” He groaned when my hand rested on his hardness. He took my hand and brought it up to his lips. “Are you sure?”

  I looked at his heartbreakingly handsome face, which was made even more so by the moonlight. During all these months of dating, we’d never gone all the way. Surprisingly, it was Nic that stopped me. I’d wanted to jump his bones since the night of our first date. I knew I wasn’t his first. And he wouldn’t be my first either. For some reason, Nic had wanted to wait. It’s as if he knew he wanted to be sure that I wanted him completely.

  Holding his eyes, I sat up and unzipped the back of my dress. Then I unhooked the back of the halter from behind my neck, letting it slip down to my chest. His eyes drank me in appreciatively.

  “I’m sure.”

  In one swift movement, I was in his arms. His kisses were like fire. His lips trailed down my throat and then down to my breasts. Breathless, I reached behind me. With one snap, my bra was off.

  “You’re so sexy,” he breathed, his hands caressing my breasts.

  Our kisses grew hotter and, before I knew it, all of our clothes were tossed aside, and his bare chest pressed against mine. I felt his hardness against my thigh.

  “I want you, Nic.”

  He nodded, reaching into his pants pocket. A cool breeze blew, making me shiver as I waited for him. I gazed up at the twinkling stars and made a wish. I wished that this perfect night would last forever. There was a rustling and tearing of a package. Nic’s face was suddenly over me again, taking the place of the stars.

  “My beautiful, Nic.” I closed my eyes and wrapped my legs around his waist, bringing him closer.

  “Mandi, let me see your eyes.”

  I opened my eyes and sucked in a breath. His face was so soft, so raw with emotion. He tensed and slowly pushed into me, filling me with such love that I cried out.

  “Did I hurt you?”

  “No. It’s just . . . it’s just . . .” I pressed my lips against his, substituting, words of love with kisses.

  The world moved rhythmically. It was a slow burn at first. Then I felt a pressure building within me, and I clung to Nic, my fingers digging into his back. He let out a moan and he moved faster. Then he shuddered and my body exploded in unison with his.

  I laid in his arms, breathless, his sweat slick body against mine. I pressed my head against his chest, listening to the racing beat of his heart. My heart pounded in sync with his, answering his call of love. His arms pressed me tightly against his chest and those words came out again, tearing at my heart with the questioning tone he used.

  “I love you. Mandi?” His voice cracked with raw emotion.

  I knew he was asking if I loved him. And I wanted to say those three words, but instead, I once again choked back my reply. I closed my eyes, a tear rolling down my cheek. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t give him all of me. I had to protect my family. Every day that passed, I grew closer to him and fell in love with him a little bit more, putting them more at risk

  Sometimes when we touched, like the way he was holding me now, I found myself breaking, wanting to tell him everything. And it scared the hell out of me, knowing that I was so close to telling him about my family.

  His arms tightened, waiting for me to tell him I loved him. I wanted to hold on to him until my arms grew numb, until all my fears disappeared and I could give myself to him completely. But then a small voice within me wondered if I could trust him, really trust him.

  I closed my eyes, squeezing him tightly in response, hoping my touch and kisses were enough because, right now, it was all I could give him.

  “Me too,” I whispered.

  chapter 18

  Mandi

  Nic’s mother was gonna die in three, two—

  “Dominic, are you sure there are no other dorm rooms available? Perhaps a larger suite? I’m sure a simple phone call from your—Mandi, please be careful with that box. The crystal is used, but still highly valuable—what was I saying? Oh, yes, your father would be happy make a phone call on your behalf. This kitchenette just isn’t sufficient for your needs.”

  I was standing in the middle of the kitchen with a box labeled Waterford ready to bash Mrs. Marcelli over the head with it. I must’ve still been in shock to see her in Nic’s dorm, ordering us where to place his moving boxes. Why else would she still be alive in my presence? I was stunned that I was able to be in the same zip code, not to mention the same room, with that woman.

  And it was all my parents’ fault.

  Leaving Koppe was hard. Who knew that I was actually going to miss that small, ass-backward town? The hardest was leaving Cassie and Cody. I was so worried about Cassie moving back to Houston and leaving Cody. Then Nic told me about Cody’s surprise. Apparently, Cody, that stinker, had rented a house for him and Cassie. I wish I had been there to see her face when he showed her. Cassie had been depressed since prom, thinking that she’d have to leave Cody and return to Houston to live with her mom.

  Lif
e was going smoothly with Cassie settled in with Cody, and my family had settled into our new home too. The house we were renting was a little bit better than our old one. It had three bedrooms instead of two. For once, Juan actually smiled when he found out he had an actual room of his own. Smiles from Juan were rare these days. It was like overnight, he had turned into a total pain in the ass. Ever since Nic had announced he was moving with us to San Marcos, he’d been dissing Nic every chance he got. And Nic was nothing but nice to him. If Juan didn’t grow up soon, I was going to kick his ass.

  Fortunately, my parents couldn’t have loved Nic more. Before moving to San Marcos, Nic had helped my father find a job at the local light manufacturing plant. Nic knew the owner...or more like his mother knew the owner. Apparently, they were old college buddies. Obliviously, Nic’s mother was desperate to win Nic back because with one simple phone call, my dad had a job, no interview needed.

  Mom was even offered a job there too, but with taking care of Selina and Miguelito, she wanted to find something more flexible. And of course Dad, being Dad, had welcomed Mrs. Marcelli to our home anytime she wished. It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Mrs. Marcelli and Bianca had been waiting in her Mercedes, with the car doors locked, when we pulled into the driveway of our new rental.

  “Sure thing, Mrs. Marcelli.” I plastered a smile on my face and dropped the box to the floor with a crash.

  Oops.

  “Don’t worry about it, Mother. The suite is large enough.” Nic wrapped his arms around me protectively when his mother’s green eyes blazed in my direction. “I already told you. I have everything I could ever want, especially now that you see how important Mandi is to me.”

  Her lips thinned into a line for a moment before she continued. “Are you sure? We could get you a condo. I saw quite a few lovely ones across the street. Of course, we could help Mandi find a condo near you, if you like.”

  Yeah, I didn’t buy the lame apology she’d given earlier—under Nic’s watchful eye. And I didn’t buy the line that they’d help me be near Nic either. She knew I couldn’t afford a condo. And I wouldn’t dare take any money from her or Nic. It was hard enough that I owed her one for helping out my dad with a job.

  “Very sure.”

  “Well, perhaps we could have this place remodeled then? Yes, that’s it. I’ll call Philippe to see if he’s available to fly in for a consult. He did an amazing job with Bianca’s room. But first, this place needs a good scrubbing.” She ran a finger over the countertop. “I’ll have Maria come tomorrow to clean. Bianca!”

  “What?” Bianca called from Nic’s bedroom.

  “Would you bring me my purse?”

  “Where is it?”

  “Mother, I appreciate your help, but I’m fine with the place as it is,” Nic said.

  “Consider it a homecoming present.” She waved him off as she headed to the bedroom. “And I’ll have Philippe take a look at the Ruiz’s home too, considering that you’ll be spending some time there. I’m sure he can manage to figure out something for that place.”

  Aww, hell no! That woman can insult me all she wanted, but no one insults my family like that.

  Nic’s eyes widened when he saw me taking off my earrings.

  “Mandi, she didn’t mean it like that,” he said, latching onto my arm.

  He lucked out that there was a knock at the door and that I didn’t want any witness to the ass whooping I was gonna give that woman.

  “That’s probably Steve from the room next door. I invited him over. Will you let him in? I’ll have a talk with my mother.”

  I looked into his worried eyes. I knew he was having a hard time, wanting to defend me and at the same time, give his mother a chance. It couldn’t be easy. Even though he’d sacrificed his family to be with me, deep inside, I knew it was eating him up. And while I didn’t buy his mother’s apology, I couldn’t dismiss the hope in his eyes that, somehow, we could all work this out. I guess everyone wanted to be close to their mother, even if she did or said stupid things sometimes. The problem with Nic’s mother was that she was on stupid mode a lot.

  I let out a breath. “Fine. Just don’t let her near my parents’ house.”

  “Promise.” He pecked my cheek, grinning. “Things are going to work out. You’ll see.”

  It was worth it to see him happy. There was something about moving to San Marcos and helping him settle into his dorm on campus that made it all so real. We’d been so busy, I hadn’t had time to step back and think that we’d done it. We’d actually done it. I was finally a college freshman! My family was with me. Nic was with me. This was as good as it got. Yeah, so I had to put up with Mrs. Marcelli’s snobby comments. But seeing Nic happy was worth it.

  When I opened the door, a voluptuous redhead stood in the hallway. She sure didn’t look like a Steve.

  I blinked, not believing what my eyes were seeing. I thought the girls at Koppe High dressed strangely. This girl was on a totally different level. She had on a green sleeveless summer dress with huge white polka dots. The massive head of curls on her head was teased so high, I doubted that her head would’ve been able to fit through the doorway. The only thing keeping her tiny heart-shaped face from getting lost in the mass of curls was the headband with a huge bow.

  Baby blue eyes gazed back at me with surprise. Then there was a flash of dimples when she smiled. “Oh, you must be the cleaning lady, Maria. Buenos días! Cómo estás?”

  “Excuse me?” I gawked as this chick continued to butcher the Spanish language.

  “Hablas, uh, hablar, oh darn what’s the verb? Uh, habla inglés?”

  “Of course I do. Do you?” I snapped.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” She giggled. “I thought you didn’t understand me. I didn’t know if you spoke English.”

  “Are you kidding me? Of course I know English. And I’m not Maria.”

  She blinked, gazing at me blankly. Backing up, she peered at the number printed on the door. “This is suite 403, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Whew, okay. I’ve got the right place.” She giggled again. “Sometimes I get the numbers mixed up. You know, 430 instead of 403. Or maybe she told me 430 and I wrote down 403?”

  Bowhead Girl’s high-pitched squawking was giving me a migraine.

  “Well, maybe if you tell me who you’re looking for I can help.”

  Help get you out of here. I silently prayed that she wasn’t Steve’s girlfriend.

  “Oh, sorry. I tend to ramble when I’m nervous or excited. Or both. It gets worse when it’s both. My shrink says I should practice deep breathing. He says it helps. I don’t know if it does or not. Every time I try, I end up getting really dizzy. Have you ever done that? Breathe really fast and then get these black dots and the room starts to float around in waves. The last time I did that I—”

  “Who are you looking for?” Oh my God! Does this girl ever stop talking?

  “Nic Marcelli. Is he here?”

  “Yes.” The word came out slowly as my heart raced. “And you are?”

  “Kristie Stanton. I’m his fiancée.”

  Part II

  chapter 19

  Nic

  Kristie Stanton had brought me a Porsche.

  A freaking Porsche!

  Mother was only too happy to pay for the sleek red beauty. “A belated graduation gift,” she’d said. Was it a coincidence that Kristie’s father happened to own several Porsche dealerships across the country and that one of them happened to be in Austin and that Kristie happened to volunteer to drive it down to campus?

  I think not.

  I would’ve been more excited about finally owning my first 911T if I didn’t think I was going die before I even had a chance to drive it.

  My eyes darted around the table, and I silently thanked whatever higher power that had managed to miraculously get everyone out of the dorm, away from the kitchen knives, and to the San Marcos Café.

  Mother was way too quiet. She sat on the edge of the
worn seat, looking uncomfortable as she wiped the table with a napkin. The café was one of those rundown, hole-in-the-wall places that had great food. Apparently, other college students thought so too because it was packed, which was good for us because I highly doubted Mandi would kill me in front of witnesses.

  Everything appeared to be going fine until Mother steered the conversation to a family trip we’d taken to Belize with the Stantons years ago.

  “Oh, Nic, do you remember when we went snorkeling? You kept snapping the back of my bikini top until it broke!” Kristie giggled.

  “Uh, not really.”

  “Yeah, right,” Bianca snorted. “And you don’t remember when I found the Polaroids under your pillow, either.”

  I should’ve come up with a better plan.

  I sipped my iced tea, glancing warily at Mandi. She was still wearing that same scary smile she’d plastered on her face when she had come into my bedroom and announced that my fiancée was at the door. Her dark eyes were boring into me so hard, it made my head throb.

  Yeah, my head’s going to explode any minute now.

  Bianca was having way too much fun at my expense. Her eyes danced between Kristie and Mandi, just waiting for something to happen. I didn’t know what she expected. It wasn’t like Mandi was going to throw Kristie down in the middle of the café and rip her hair out.

  “You still have the photos?” Kristie beamed.

  Mandi’s eyes narrowed in on Kristie, a scowl marring her pouty red lips.

  On second thought . . .

  Kristie was clueless as she chirped on about how much she missed hanging out with Bianca and me since we were no longer attending the same private school and how excited she was that I had decided to attend SWT. She’d been accepted to SWT and other smaller colleges in the state. Then Bianca had told her I was enrolling at SWT, which basically sealed the deal for her.