Forever Hidden

by Tracie Peterson

John’s jaw dropped and then closed. “Whitney . . .”

  Madysen walked up to Whitney and wrapped her arms around her. It stilled their older sister’s movements. “Whit, I love you, but I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”

  Whitney shook off Madysen’s embrace and looked at them all, eyes wild. “Don’t you get it? What if his whole purpose in coming today is for all of this?” She spread her arms. “Why else would he be so determined to be here for the funeral other than to assert some kind of rights?”

  Granddad moaned.

  John stood. “I don’t think the law would be on his side, Whitney, if that is what he’s up to. But the fact of the matter is, we don’t know why he’s here or what brought him. Other than what he told me.”

  “Which could be a lie!” Whitney’s cheeks were bright red. “I really think you and Havyn need to get married right now. I’m serious.” She slapped the contract down on the small table in front of her and crossed her arms over her chest.

  A little of the shock had worn off and Havyn shook her head. “I’m really glad that you consider John worthy now”—her words held a hint of sarcasm even though she wasn’t aiming for that—“but even though John knows that I love him, I don’t think it’s fair to throw this at him. Especially on the day we buried Mama. When I get married, I want it to be a joyful day. Not a day full of tears.”

  “But we don’t have any time to waste! I don’t want that man—”

  “Ahem.”

  They all turned to the doorway.

  Their father stood there, his face full of sadness. He looked down to the hat in his hands. “I can see this is a bad time. Is it all right if I come back tomorrow morning?”

  John walked over to the man. They shook hands. “That would be fine. Around ten?”

  Dad nodded and walked away without another word.

  What if Whitney was right?

  Thirty

  Whitney’s heart raced in her chest. “See?” She walked over to John and tugged on his sleeve. “I’ll go get the pastor. We need to get this taken care of right now.”

  John shook his head. “Whitney, please, calm down.” He took her by the arms. “As much as I love Havyn, there’s a lot we still need to discuss. And plenty we need to talk to your grandfather about. I don’t think it’s necessary to rush into anything.” He released her and ran a hand through his dark hair. “I didn’t see any evidence in him that he came here to try to steal anything from you.”

  “What if that’s just what he wants you to believe?” At that moment, tears burst forth. All the anger she’d held toward her father rose to the surface. He’d hurt them. Left them. Abandoned them. And she couldn’t forgive what he did. She couldn’t.

  Madysen was at her side, sliding an arm around her waist. “Let’s go talk in my room for a few minutes.” She offered a hankie.

  Her younger sister brought her to Granddad’s chair. Whitney leaned down to hug him. Why didn’t she feel anything? It was as though all her feelings were just . . . numb.

  Granddad moaned and she looked down at the paper he’d written on: Please forgive me.

  While she didn’t blame her grandfather—she was actually thankful that he’d taken action to get Christopher Powell out of their lives—she couldn’t respond.

  How could she when she had no idea how to truly forgive?

  John walked the length of the sheep pen, hands deep in his pockets. He’d already checked on the dogs and the chickens. Even though the farm workers had gathered that morning and worked out a schedule for everything to get done without him or the family.

  He stretched his legs and went down to the lower pasture. After Christopher’s departure, they’d all taken a break. Havyn went to check on Madysen and Whitney while John settled Chuck back into his bed. Chuck had asked for Havyn. After John asked her to go see her grandfather, he went for a walk to clear his head.

  He’d asked everyone to rest for a couple hours. Chuck wrote to Havyn that he had been working on a letter to them all, and needed to finish it. Maybe they’d soon be able to put to rest the matter of the financial state of the farm.

  If he could get the workers paid again today and get the ledgers caught up, he’d be able to breathe a sigh of relief. For all of them. So they could move forward. Then they could all work with Chuck each day to get his exercises done, so he could build strength and get back to the farm that he loved.

  It seemed the only way to get everyone back to normal. But there was still Christopher Powell to deal with. . . .

  Whitney’s fear had clearly gone a bit overboard today, but what if she was correct in part? What if Chris had some ulterior motive for being here?

  He pushed the thoughts aside. It had been a hard day. But they’d made it. So far. They just had to get through one day at a time after this.

  As he walked back toward the house, Whitney’s demand that he and Havyn marry today barreled back to him. He couldn’t restrain a smile. As much as he wanted to marry Havyn, marrying her out of fear on the day of her mother’s funeral wasn’t right. But oh, how he wanted to marry her.

  He wanted to shout from the rooftop that he loved her, but he’d wait for her to get past her grief. He could wait. She was worth it.

  When he made it back to the house, he found the sisters all gathered around their grandfather’s bed.

  “John, I was about to come find you.” Havyn’s smile greeted him. “Granddad wrote a note for us.”

  Whitney stood. “Granddad asked me to read a letter from him.”

  Their grandfather pushed her several sheets of paper.

  Whitney cleared her throat and began to read.

  “Whitney, Havyn, and Madysen, my dearest granddaughters. By now, you probably know the story. Doc Gordon hounded me for months, saying my symptoms showed there was a bigger problem coming if I didn’t make changes. I ignored him because I needed to keep things running. You all depended on me. So when John showed up, I hired him. I knew him. Knew his grandpa. The whole reason John came was to fulfill his grandpa’s last request.”

  John held up a hand and grinned at Chuck. “Did you ever open the box?”

  Chuck held up one finger.

  “I take it that means to wait.”

  A slight nod.

  “I’m sorry. Please continue reading, Whit.”

  Whitney actually grinned at his use of her sisters’ nickname for her. Then she read on.

  “Yes, I asked John to sign the contract, but there’s more to that story as well. And he was good enough to help me out. When I met his grandpa in the mine in Cripple Creek, we often shared stories of our families to pass the time as we chipped away at the mountain searching for gold. When I left for Nome, I told him that we should try to get our families together one day. Giuseppe joked that maybe his grandson would even marry one of my granddaughters. It was nothing more than that. Just talk between two friends. But we wrote letters back and forth over the years. I told him about all of you, and he kept me up to date on him and John.”

  Whitney peered over the papers at their grandfather as she turned the page and then looked back to the letter.

  “John spent every last cent he had to fulfill his grandfather’s request. When he got to town, he had no money, no place to stay, no way to feed himself. He went searching for a job and Doc Gordon sent him out here. Ironic, isn’t it? The very man that he’d come to see in Nome. Then I hired him. Knew I could trust him. He wasn’t a stranger. And I confess I was desperate. It was hasty, I know. But John’s a good man. I’ve given my blessing for him to marry Havyn.”

  Whitney looked at Havyn, gave her sister a wink, and then went on.

  “You don’t ever have to worry about money. I’ve got plenty of gold hidden away. As for your father, and my part in lying to you and your mother, I’m sorry. I did what I did to protect my own. I know it wasn’t right, but I forged your mother’s signature and my friend the judge declared them divorced. She never wanted it—your mother believed marriage was for lif
e. I just couldn’t see God being so cruel as to expect her to bear a lifetime of your father’s deceptions and affairs. I only wish I’d been able to ask her forgiveness as well. I hope you will forgive me. I have no way of knowing how much time I have left on this earth, but I know I couldn’t bear it without my girls.”

  Madysen leaned over and hugged Chuck. “Oh, Granddad, we couldn’t bear it without you! I don’t understand why all of this has happened, but I love you and I always will.” She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed.

  Whitney walked around the bed to where John stood and then bent down. She reached under the bed and came out with a box and ledger. “Granddad said the box was for you all along, John. Not for him. And here’s the ledger. It’s all we need to pay the workers. He gave me the key to the money drawer too.” She held up the key and handed it to him, a small smile on her lips.

  “Thank you.” It might take time for them to become friends, but at least Whitney seemed to trust him now.

  Havyn came over and took his arm. “So this is what you brought all the way from Colorado?”

  He looked at it and nodded.

  “Why don’t you open it? Granddad said it was for you.”

  John laid the box on the end of the bed and opened it. On top sat a letter addressed to Chuck. It was already open, so Chuck must have read it all those weeks ago when John first gave the box to him. John lifted it out and laid it on Chuck’s lap.

  The next letter in the box sat atop an oilskin packet. It read John.

  Just the sight of Nonno’s handwriting made him smile. How he missed him.

  He unfolded the paper and read.

  My dear John,

  I know this letter comes as a shock, and so I wanted you to have the company of my dearest friend when you read it. You probably know by now that Chuck and I have formed a partnership of sorts. A conspiracy to plan your future, you might believe, but, I assure you, it was designed with only your very best interests in mind.

  Chuck will see to it that you understand, but let me say that I have long believed God would see our two families joined together. I hope that you feel the same way, and I believe with all my heart that because this is something God has ordained, you will. I have left you all of my worldly goods. My desire is not only for your own benefit, however. I want you to use this money to help take care of Chuck’s family should he pass on. We both pledged to take care of each other’s families, and while I realize you are a man full grown, fully privileged with making your own choices, I hope you will honor my final desires and take on my pledge to Chuck. It is the last thing I will ever ask of you, Patatino.

  Nonno

  The letter almost made him want to laugh out loud. Who would have ever thought that two old men would be matchmakers? And very good ones, as it turned out.

  “Would you read it to us?” Havyn’s sweet voice broke through his thoughts.

  “Sure.” He read the letter to them and looked up to see the left side of Chuck’s lips lift in a smile. “You two . . .” John shook his head.

  Looking back down at the box, John unwrapped the oilskin package. Whatever it was, Nonno hadn’t wanted it to get wet.

  Two large stacks of gold certificates lay within. Thousands of dollars. John laughed. “I carried thousands of dollars on my back as if it was nothing more than a sentimental trinket!”

  “Sounds like Giuseppe Roselli was quite a man.” Madysen smiled up at him. “Just like his grandson.” She patted him on the shoulder. “I’m looking forward to you being my brother-in-law. I always wanted a brother. Sisters can be so annoying.”

  This time John didn’t hold back. He laughed out loud.

  An hour later, all the workers were paid. Whitney had graciously gone with John out to the barn with the ledger and a bag of money from her grandfather’s safe. While she hadn’t said anything to him, they worked together well.

  He turned to her now. “Thank you for all your help. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  Her eyes misted as she handed him the bag and ledger. “I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you, John. You didn’t deserve that.”

  Whitney might have a hard exterior, but he’d seen the warm and loving sister that was underneath the layers. It must have been hard on her, being the oldest in the circumstances they’d lived through. “No, it’s good for you to be protective of your family. Don’t ever change that, Whitney Powell.”

  She considered him for a moment, and he had the impression she was restraining a smile. “I think Madysen’s right. It will be nice to have a brother.” She wiped her hands on her apron and walked away.

  “How did you manage that?” Havyn came up behind him.

  He turned. “Manage what?”

  “I heard Whit apologize to you. I’m impressed.” Her light laugh washed over him.

  He smiled and pulled her close. “I’m glad that everything is out in the open. From now on, let’s agree not to have any secrets between us. Especially where matters of the heart are concerned.”

  She nodded. “Then let me be the first to say that I love you and I can’t wait to marry you.”

  John gazed for a long moment into her eyes. “And I love you, Havyn Powell. Now and for the rest of my life.”

  For what seemed a long time neither one said anything. Finally, he stepped back. “I should probably let you get to your chickens. That was where you were headed, right?”

  She lifted her face to kiss him. “They can wait.”

  The next morning, Havyn opened the door to their father. “Please come in.”

  The first few moments in the parlor were quiet. John sat next to Granddad. Madysen and Whitney were with Havyn on the settee.

  Dad looked at all of them. “By now, you probably know the whole story. I didn’t come to rehash everything. I just wanted to see you. To apologize to Melissa.” His voice cracked.

  “And you never once thought about how much it would hurt us to believe you were dead all those years?”

  Good ol’ Whitney, always went to the heart of things.

  “It couldn’t have hurt you as much as having me alive had.” Their father looked down at his feet. “I was no good. I was a drunk and a slacker. Your grandfather tried over and over to help me with jobs, and I constantly sabotaged myself. Look, I don’t expect you to understand, but in time I’m hoping you’ll forgive me.”

  “Ha!” Whitney stood and stepped away as if she’d been stung. “You’re a fool to come here expecting that.”

  “Whitney, don’t be that way.” Madysen went to her sister. “I know you probably remember more of the bad things because you were older, but God said we should forgive.”

  “Then He expects too much. How am I supposed to forgive someone who hurt us like he did? He was our father and he walked away. Made another family and left the first one behind to believe he was dead.” She looked back at their father with a scowl.

  It cut Havyn like a knife. All these years, she’d had time to digest it all. Her sisters . . . they were just now having to deal with what their father had done. And as adults, it was harder and more real. Looking from Whitney to Madysen, she prayed that they would all be able to get past this. Someday.

  “I’m sorrier than words will ever convey.” Dad lifted his eyebrows and stood tall and straight. “But it was for the best. I knew your mother needed more—knew you girls needed a better father. After I signed the divorce papers, I knew your grandfather would think it best to let you think I was dead. I saw it as a way to give you a better life. He told me if I did it his way, he’d take care of all of you for the rest of your lives, but if I stayed . . . he would walk away. I weighed it all out and knew you would be better with him than with me. And if we hadn’t done it, I’d be dead anyway. God used all of that to clean me up. That’s why I’m here. To show you that I’m different. To ask for your forgiveness.”

  Whitney glared at him. “Don’t count on it.”

  Havyn wanted to weep. For the last half hour words had flown between Wh
itney and their father. Madysen tried to mediate, but made little progress. A glimpse at Granddad showed all this was making him miserable too.

  She jumped to her feet. “I’m sorry. I can’t hear any more of this! Dad, I’m glad you’re alive, but it’s going to take us all a lot of time to work through it. So why don’t you come back next week? In the meantime, we need to grieve our mother, and we will work on forgiveness.” She gave a pointed look to Whitney. “Won’t we?”

  Whitney didn’t answer.

  What else was there to say? “It’s been a really tough week. I need to think. I need time alone.” With a glance to John that she hoped he understood, she turned and walked out of the room. As she left the parlor, voices erupted again.

  Let them deal with it. She had a different plan.

  Outside, she walked to the chicken yard and took deep, long breaths.

  God, I know You have a plan. This isn’t the one I would have chosen, but I keep reminding myself that You are God. I don’t know how we will make it through all of this, but I’m tired of carrying around this huge weight. The secrets that I carried, that I felt guilty for, the worry about the future, everything about the farm, Granddad, and Mama. Lord, help me to let go. Help me to lay all this at Your feet and rest in You. I want to follow Your will. Not my own.

  The chickens followed Havyn around the yard as she paced.

  Buttercup and Sally jabbered at her in their chicken talk.

  “I know, you’re right.”

  Several other chickens chimed in.

  “That’s true.” She threw out some scratch for them and smiled at their antics. Pretty soon a song came to mind. Lifting her voice up to the heavens, Havyn sang:

  “When peace like a river, attendeth my way,

  When sorrows like sea billows roll

  Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say

  It is well, it is well, with my soul.”

  Epilogue

  Two Weeks Later

  Even though it was only August, there was a taste of snow in the air as Havyn stepped into the Roadhouse. The many layers of satin and lace in her wedding gown reminded her of Mama. She’d stashed away boxes of fabric for their weddings over the years, praying for the husbands that God would bring her daughters. If only she could look down from heaven to see . . .