A Cottage by the Sea

by Carole Matthews

  ‘Harry’s in no fit state to drive either.’ He’s not had as much as usual but he’d still be over the limit.

  I could drive, I’m sure. I’ve not had that much to drink – just a couple of glasses – but I don’t want Ella to be without me if anything happens while I’m driving. My mind is whirring. ‘There’s one person who can take us.’

  ‘Noah,’ we say together.

  I nod. ‘I’ll see if I can wake him. You stay here. Lie down. Keep your feet up.’

  I have no idea if that’s the correct advice, but it seems the right thing to do in the absence of anything else. Ella does as I say. I cover her with the crocheted blanket and tuck it round her.

  ‘I’ll be two minutes.’

  Tiptoeing up the stairs as fast as I can, heart pounding, I stop outside Flick and Noah’s bedroom. Holding my breath, I listen for any noise. The last thing that I want to do is interrupt them when they’re hard at it. A gulp travels down my throat and it is the loudest thing I can hear in the silent, sleeping house. I knock gently, but there’s no reply. So I knock a little harder. Still nothing.

  ‘Flick,’ I call out. ‘Flick, are you awake?’ Obviously not. ‘Noah!’ I try. ‘Noah.’ Still no answer. What am I to do now? I can’t stand here on the landing all night, I’ll have to go in.

  As quietly as I can, I unlatch their bedroom door. Pausing to get my bearings, I creep across the room towards the bed, feeling like some hideous intruder. Flick is fast asleep on her side, hair mussed over the pillow, legs tangled in the duvet. Even in her sleep, she looks beautiful. Noah, asleep on his back, arm slung above his head, is next to her. I inch towards Flick and reach out to shake her arm. She grunts in her sleep and flings me off. I know what Flick is like when she’s asleep. We used to be able to hoover around her in the flat and she wouldn’t wake up if she’d been out on the lash the night before.

  I’ll have to go straight to Noah. I tiptoe round to the other side of the bed and, when I’m beside him, I kneel down. Gently, I shake his arm. Instantly, he starts awake and his eyes widen further when he sees that it’s me. Before he can say anything, I put my finger to my lips to hush him.

  He looks at me questioningly and whispers, ‘What is it?’

  ‘Emergency,’ I whisper back. ‘Ella’s not too good. I couldn’t wake Flick.’

  ‘We’ll leave her. She’s had a lot to drink. I’m not sure how much help she’ll be.’

  I feel bad because I’m sure that Flick would want to know if Ella’s in trouble. But if I’m completely honest, I’m also glad that we’re going to leave her behind. Flick is hopeless in a crisis and will only panic. If she’s drunk, she’ll be even worse and the last thing I want is Ella’s emergency trip to the hospital to turn into an outing. It will be a much more calm affair if Flick stays here.

  ‘I’ll get dressed as fast as I can,’ Noah assures me. ‘Give me two minutes.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  I creep away and go back downstairs to Ella who is, thankfully, still on the sofa. ‘He’s coming,’ I tell her. ‘Everything will be all right now.’ Already I know that we’ll be able to rely on Noah’s calm strength to do the right thing.

  Sure enough, a few minutes later, he appears in the living room. He’s wearing his jeans and a fleece, his hair styled by sleep.

  ‘We need to get Ella to the hospital,’ I tell him without preamble. ‘She’s bleeding. We’re frightened that she’s losing her baby. You’re the only one in a fit state to drive us.’

  He reaches in his pocket and tosses the keys to me. ‘Open up the car. I’ll carry Ella.’

  There’s no way I’m going upstairs again, so I find some shoes by the front door that I suspect might have belonged to Ella’s mum. They’re a bit too big, but beggars can’t be choosers.

  While I’m doing that, Noah has scooped Ella into his arms and is waiting for me. I collect the blanket and rush out to open the back door of the car. Carefully, Noah lowers Ella on to the seat.

  Slipping in beside her, I cradle her head as she lies full-length across the seats and I stroke her hair. ‘Don’t worry, honey. Everything will be fine. We’ll be on our way in a minute.’

  She clutches my hand as a wave of pain grips her.

  ‘Hurry, Noah,’ I urge.

  He nods bleakly at me. Then he closes the doors, jumps into the driving seat, guns the engine and we’re off. He takes it slowly down the narrow lane so as not to jolt Ella too much, but as soon as he reaches the main road, he puts his foot down.

  I look behind us. Cwtch Cottage is still clothed in darkness while we’re stealing away in the night.

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  The Accident and Emergency Department of the hospital looks like any one of a hundred throughout the country. We could be anywhere.

  I glance at my watch and see that it’s two in the morning. Thankfully, on a week night and out of the holiday season, A&E isn’t too busy. At least the place isn’t crammed with drunks as they so often are. Clearly there haven’t been a lot of fights in Pembrokeshire tonight. Instead, there are just a couple of poorly-looking children who are being nursed by their respective parents while they snivel in their arms, and a chap in overalls with a bad cut on his forehead that looks as if it needs stitches. Other than that, it seems that there’s not too much of a queue so I’m hoping that Ella will be seen quickly.

  Spying a bank of wheelchairs at the entrance, I grabbed one for Ella. Now she’s sitting in it, just waiting for the nurse to come. I hold her hand while tears roll quietly down her face.

  ‘I’ll try to find us some tea,’ Noah says and he strides off in search of a vending machine. Once again I’m glad that Flick isn’t here. She’d be marching up and down, demanding attention and generally winding everyone up. As it is, I can keep Ella calm.

  ‘You’ll be fine,’ I say to my friend for the millionth time. As it’s the only thing I have to offer, I can only hope and pray that I’m right.

  ‘I really want this baby, Grace,’ Ella murmurs. ‘I didn’t realise how much until now.’ She sighs tiredly. ‘With the situation with Art, I’ve been largely trying to ignore it. That’s wrong, isn’t it?’

  ‘It seems a shame,’ I acknowledge. ‘You should both be celebrating this. Perhaps we should have woken Art.’

  ‘What use would he be to me in the state he was in?’ She has a good point. ‘Besides it might have been too much of a shock to him to find out like this that I’m pregnant.’

  ‘You’re not going to be able to put off telling him for too much longer.’

  ‘I hope to God that I still have that news to break to him.’ She strokes her hands lovingly over her bump. ‘Hold on, little man,’ she whispers. ‘Things will be different from now on.’

  ‘It might be a girl,’ I remind her and we both manage a laugh at that.

  ‘I don’t mind whether this baby is a he or a she, I just want it to be healthy and safe.’

  ‘I’m sure it will be,’ I say. ‘I can feel it in my bones and when is Auntie Grace ever wrong?’

  ‘You’re a good friend,’ Ella says, teary.

  ‘And I’ll be a great godmother. You just hang on.’

  Noah comes back with three cups of tea in plastic beakers. Sod’s law decrees that, just as he does so, a nurse appears in front of us.

  ‘Ms Ella Hawley?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘This way, please. Doctor will see you now.’

  ‘Come with me, Grace,’ Ella pleads. ‘Don’t leave me alone.’

  I give Noah an apologetic look. ‘I’ll be waiting,’ he says. ‘However long it takes.’

  So, leaving him with three cups of tea, I push Ella in her wheelchair down the corridor, following the brisk nurse. She shows us into a curtained cubicle and says, ‘Can you pop on this gown and jump up there, dearie?’

  I’m not sure there’ll be much popping and jumping but, nevertheless, when she disappears I help Ella out of the wheelchair and into the hospital-issue gown. Gingerly, she climbs up on t
o the bed.

  I sit at its head, holding Ella’s hand tightly and resting my head against hers. She lies, knees up, sighing frequently. ‘Deep breaths,’ I say. ‘Try to stay relaxed.’

  Eventually, a doctor appears. I’m assuming he must be the doctor as he’s in a white coat even though he looks significantly younger than both of us.

  Despite his lack of years on the planet, he has a kind smile and a calm, confident manner. He examines Ella thoroughly, and we explain to him what happened and describe the bicycle accident last night while he frowns at our stupidity. It does sound completely irresponsible that we let a pregnant woman anywhere near a tandem – even though we both judiciously choose to miss out the bit about her coercion and Art being roaring drunk at the time. I hope to goodness that isn’t what has caused this. How terrible will we all feel then?

  ‘Any more bleeding?’ he asks, feeling her stomach.

  ‘Just a bit of spotting since I left home.’

  ‘Pain?’

  ‘Some when it started, but nothing now. Just the occasional twinge.’

  A few minutes later he pulls down her gown again. ‘Everything looks fine to me,’ he says and we both let out a relieved breath.

  ‘I’m not going to have a miscarriage?’ Ella speaks as if she hardly dare utter the word.

  ‘No. I don’t think so. But we’ll keep you in overnight, just to be on the safe side. Breakthrough bleeding in pregnancy is a common occurrence and, usually, it’s nothing to worry about. Sometimes the placenta can lie low in the womb, which can cause bleeding. Sometimes it can be caused by a trauma.’ He raises his eyebrows at us both and scribbles on his clipboard. ‘I’ll arrange for you to have a scan tomorrow and we’ll take a good look. You’ll have to wait here until we can take you up to the ward.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Ella says.

  ‘No more midnight cycling,’ he warns.

  ‘No,’ she agrees, chastened. I, for one, can tell him quite categorically that it won’t ever happen again. I should think after this that Ella will be left with a lifelong phobia of tandems.

  ‘You’re going to be a mum.’ He pats her hand. ‘You need to look after yourself. Rest.’

  The doctor leaves us.

  ‘Feel better now?’

  ‘Yes. Baby Hawley lives to fight another day,’ she quips and then promptly bursts into tears.

  ‘Hush, hush.’ I wrap my arms round her. ‘No harm done. That baby’s going to be born fit and healthy if I have to tie you down to a chair for the next six months to make you rest.’

  I grab tissues from a box on the shelf and stuff them in Ella’s hands. She blows her nose on them, heartily. ‘I’m going to be the model patient now,’ she promises, still sniffling. ‘I don’t want anything to go wrong, Grace.’

  ‘Of course you don’t. Neither do I.’

  ‘I’m sorry to have dragged you out at this hour.’

  ‘Don’t even think that,’ I admonish. ‘Always better to be safe than sorry. It’s not as if I was asleep anyway.’ When she stops crying, I ask, ‘Will you be OK if I leave you for five minutes? I should go and tell Noah what’s happening.’ It’s now past three o’clock. ‘He’ll be worried.’

  ‘Gosh, yes, you must,’ Ella says. ‘He’s a lovely man.’

  ‘Yes.’ I try to keep the longing from my voice.

  ‘How would we have managed without him?’ She shakes her head. ‘Flick doesn’t deserve him. She’ll be furious that we’ve stolen him from her in the middle of the night.’

  ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,’ I tell her. ‘I did try to wake her but she was absolutely out cold. I’m not even sure that she’ll notice he’s gone. I just thought she’d make a big fuss and I knew it would be the last thing that you wanted.’ I kiss her forehead. ‘I’ll be back in just a minute.’

  I find Noah in the waiting room, two cups of tea down and one cold by his side. He’s flicking through an ancient car magazine with a ripped cover.

  ‘Hey,’ I say and my heart flips over as he looks up.

  His brown eyes are red-rimmed, tired. His chin is dark with stubble and, even in this awful situation, I want to reach out to touch it, see how it feels under my fingers.

  ‘Everything OK?’

  ‘Yes,’ I say. ‘The doctor thinks so.’

  ‘Thank goodness.’ The relief is evident on his face.

  ‘They’re going to keep Ella in overnight and give her a scan tomorrow just to make sure.’

  ‘That sounds like a sensible precaution.’

  ‘I’m really sorry that I had to get you out of bed like that,’ I say. ‘I didn’t know what else to do. I was worried that I might interrupt…’ My voice tails away.

  ‘There’s nothing going on like that, Grace,’ he admits. ‘Believe me.’

  I feel stupidly grateful to hear that.

  ‘I’m here as Flick’s partner, but I’m finding the… physical… side of things a bit of an issue. Thankfully, Flick was asleep before her head hit the pillow.’

  ‘You don’t need to explain anything to me, Noah. It’s your business.’

  ‘But I want you to know,’ he says. ‘I’m not that kind of guy. I can’t just… Well. You know.’

  ‘I should get back,’ I tell him, throwing a glance over my shoulder back down the corridor. ‘I’m going to wait with her until she’s up on the ward. Are you OK with that?’

  ‘Grace,’ he says with a slow smile, ‘you do what you have to do. I’ll still be here.’

  ‘You have a five-year-old What Car? magazine covered in germs to entertain you and cold vending-machine tea. What more can a man need?’

  ‘I can do without my creature comforts,’ he says. ‘Just so long as Ella is all right.’

  ‘Thank you, Noah. You’re very kind.’ I find myself choking on my words. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can be.’

  ‘Send Ella my love,’ he says.

  ‘I will.’ And, with that, I dash back to see how my friend is faring.

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  It takes another hour until Ella is settled on the ward. She looks so tiny in the big hospital bed that I’m loath to leave her alone.

  ‘Are you sure you’ll be all right?’ The ward is in semi-darkness and I whisper so as not to wake the patients in the other beds.

  ‘I’m fine, Grace,’ she assures me. ‘Thanks for everything.’

  ‘I hate to leave you.’ Her hand is in mine and I can’t bear to let it go.

  ‘You’ve done more than enough. Go home!’ When I still look reluctant, she adds, ‘I’m tired. I promise you that I’ll be asleep before you reach the car park.’

  I tuck the crisp, rough hospital sheet around her. ‘I’ll be back first thing in the morning.’ I hesitate before I ask, ‘Shall I bring Art with me?’

  I’ll have to, really. What else can I do? I can’t lie to him. He has to know why Ella is in hospital.

  To my utmost relief, Ella nods wearily.

  ‘What shall I tell him?’

  ‘He’ll have to know about the baby,’ she says. ‘I know I’ve put it off, which was stupid, but I really didn’t want him to find out like this. What if he wants me to get rid of it?’

  ‘He wouldn’t do that.’

  ‘I can’t be sure of that, Grace. He’s not interested in children at all.’

  ‘It’s different when it’s your own.’ So everyone tells me.

  ‘I couldn’t have an abortion. I couldn’t before and I certainly couldn’t now.’

  ‘I think you’re way past that stage anyway, Ella.’

  She’s three months gone. Technically, I suppose she’s still well within the legal limit for a termination. But it’s not just some anonymous little squiggle now. It’s a proper child growing inside her. I know Ella and her nurturing instinct is just too strong to let Art persuade her to go down that route.

  ‘This scare has made me realise just how much I want this baby. No one will take it away from me.’

  ‘I’m absolutely sure it w
on’t come to that. But whatever happens, you must do what’s right for you.’

  ‘I know.’

  Ella yawns involuntarily and I take that as my cue to leave. I hug her and say, ‘See you tomorrow. Sleep tight.’ I put my hand over her tummy. ‘Night, night, Baby Hawley.’

  ‘Love you, Grace,’ Ella mumbles and, as I walk away, waving over my shoulder, I think she might be asleep by the time I reach the door of the ward.