The conversation ended there. After another ten minutes we arrived back at the compound. As I let myself in, Devon took off and I climbed the stairs tiredly. I decided to stop at Mason’s door. I just wanted to let him know that I was home, but he didn’t answer so I went to bed.
I woke up the next day to a completely silent house. Mason had taken the kids away for the weekend according to the note that was taped to my door.
Amber
I’ve taken the kids to LA for the weekend. Rest up, we’ll see you Sunday night.
I spent the weekend watching all the seasons of the vampire show in my PJ’s, sleeping on the sofa in the family room. I couldn’t sleep in my room when I knew Kurt had been in there. I purposefully didn’t load up the cell. I just wanted a weekend away from it all.
I went to bed at seven on Sunday night and Mason still wasn’t home. He arrived home at eleven, but I didn’t see him until six am the next morning when he rattled on my door. As my eyes adjusted to the light, he opened the door and peeked in at me. I rubbed my eyes sleepily. His eyes roamed all over me as he watched me sit up in the bed.
“Amber, it’s Cassie’s funeral today. I need you to be ready to leave for the ceremony with the kids by eight.” His voice cracked as he spoke. Before I could think of anything to say that would be even remotely comforting, he stepped back out of the room and closed the door behind him.
His footsteps sounded a moment later. I got up and went into the bathroom. I needed a shower and to use the facilities. I was out in sweats twenty minutes later. As I walked out into my room, Mason was sitting on my bed, tie in hand. Looking like a lost little boy.
His gaze narrowed in horror as he took in my sweats and loose top. “You aren’t wearing that are you?” I shook my head and continued walking towards him. His eyes remained on mine as I moved towards the bed. I sat down beside him and he turned to face me. “Amber, I don’t know if I can do this.”
His small voice and shaking hands almost undid me. I reached over and placed my hand on his. “You’ll be fine. I’ll be there standing beside you. If you feel that you can’t do it, lean on me and I’ll help you through it.”
He leaned down and kissed my lips gently. Then pulled back and kissed my forehead. “Thank you. I know I’m a dick to you, but thank you.”
We sat completely still for a moment, staring into each other’s eyes, until the sound of my door crashing off of the wall broke the moment. A voice filled with venom spoke from the doorway. “Well isn’t this cosy?” Mason’s face froze and I glanced around, taking in Helena and Mason’s mom in the doorway.
Helena’s eyes were narrowed in disgust but Frannie smiled at me as I looked at them, completely stunned. “Helena, don’t be rude. Come on now.” Frannie tugged on Helena’s arm, but Helena shrugged her off.
“No mom. She’s trouble. It was her that the psycho who broke in here Friday was after.”
Mason’s eyes swung around and he pinned her with his gaze. “How do you know that?”
Her eyes swung guiltily from me to Mason, and she shifted from foot to foot. “You said so on the news.”
He had said that, but I could tell that he didn’t believe her. “Mason.” I placed my hand on his arm and gave him a gentle squeeze.
He turned and glared at me, shrugging out of my hold. “Don’t Amber, just fucking don’t, okay?”
Helena smirked from the doorway and moved away. Mason stood abruptly and snatched his tie, walking out of the room and slamming the door closed at his back. I sat stunned for a moment before Sophia started to cry. I was about to go in and get her when I heard a voice in the nursery through my monitor.
“I’m sorry sweetie,” Helena cooed at Sophia, “I didn’t know you’d be here. I assumed Mase would take you guys out of here. I didn’t know he’d stay or that Kurt would try and hurt you all.” She had done it. Helena had told him where I was.
My body froze and I heard someone else walk into the room. “You guys okay?” Mason asked.
Helena answered. “Yeah, all good in here.” I wanted to punch her and scream at her, but I couldn’t do it to Mason today. A second later, my door was rattled again and Mason came in.
“You want to come downstairs and do the fucking job I’m paying you for?” His eyes swept the room and he caught sight of me, standing at the dresser looking at my black and blue ribs. I could feel his gaze burning my skin. I pulled my red shirt on before pulling my black vest over it.
“Sure. Sorry sir.” I tried to joke with him, but he turned on his heels and stormed away from me.
I followed after him and bumped into Helena on the stairs. “Stay away from my brother,” she hissed in my ear.
I spun around to face her. “Or you’ll what? Find another psycho who wants to kill me and set him loose in your brother’s house?”
Her whole body froze and I stormed away from her. As I walked into the kitchen Mason was talking in a low voice to his mom, and Lucca was stirring. I scooped him up and lifted his formula, checking the temperature. As I sat in one of the chairs, Betty moved towards me with a plate of food and some coffee.
I focused on feeding Lucca and eating. I ignored Mason completely. His mom took Sophia and Lucca to change them and Betty went to change into her funeral clothes. I was left alone with Mason. “I’m sorry, Amber.” He moved behind me. I stood and tried to sidestep him, too tired to deal with the swinging pendulum of his emotions. Before I managed to move, he wrapped his arms around my waist as he muttered, “I’m so sorry for being such a complete dick to you.” He kissed the back of my head and held onto me for a moment. I linked my fingers with his and gave a light squeeze.
“Mason, Amber, it’s time to go.” His mom’s voice called from the hallway. I turned to leave and looked over at Mason. His face was chalk white and he was shaking. I reached over and squeezed his hand. As he squeezed back, his fingers shook. He pulled me towards him and pressed his lips softly to mine, before stepping away from me. He held his hand out for me as I turned around and looked at him in his suit. He was breath-taking. His grey tie brought out his eyes and his black suit accentuated his physique perfectly. He was shaking though and was biting his lip as he waited for me to take his hand.
As I reached him, he leaned down and kissed my head, whispering into my hair, “you are so beautiful.” He linked his fingers with mine and leaned down again. “Stay beside me today. I need you.” His words lit a fire in me as we walked out to the cars. His mom was in his car with Helena, Sophia and Lucca.
The boys and Lexa were standing beside another car, with another girl I didn’t know. I noticed the way Mason’s eyes narrowed when he saw her. Lewis moved in front of her and everyone climbed into the cars, leaving Mason and me to go in the funeral car alone. I started to walk towards it but Mason began to lag behind. All of the other cars left the driveway and were waiting for us on the street.
Mason’s breath sped and he yanked his hand out of mine. “I can’t… I can’t do this…” I watched in horror as he fell to his knees and rocked backwards and forwards. As I moved towards him, I caught sight of Betty leaving the house. She made to walk towards Mason, but I waved her away. She nodded at me.
“Mason.” He shook his head at me, running his fingers through his hair. “Mase, look at me please.” I sat on the ground next to him and he shuddered. I reached my hand out and touched his cheek. He leaned into my touch, turning his head and kissing my palm. His eyes were closed and I crawled closer to him, so our knees were touching. My black pants were going to be ruined, but I didn’t care. I needed to get him up.
“Mason, Lucca needs this. He needs to know when he’s older that his daddy gave his mommy a proper send off.” His eyes shot to mine and he leaned forwards, capturing my lips with his. His tongue probed at my mouth and I opened willingly. His hand snaked around my neck, holding me in place. He kissed me for a moment longer, and then pulled back, standing up and dusting his pants off.
“Shall we?” He held his hand down to me and helpe
d me to my feet. He ushered me into the car. As he closed the door, he turned to me. “Thank you,” he whispered. He linked his fingers with mine.
He kept hold of my hand through the whole service, only letting go when he got up to speak. His eulogy began with a poem about falling to cancer.
“Cancer is a monster,
It stole you way too soon,
And left your newborn baby boy,
An orphan without a mom.
Cancer we despise you,
It took a very dear friend,
And whisked them up to heaven
Where we will meet again.
Cancer destroyed a life,
It left us in despair,
As we try to move on,
But struggle with the strife.
Cancer is a killer,
And we all know that it’s true,
But all we wish for Cancer,
Is that it hadn’t picked on you.”
His voice was breaking as he read. Tears streamed from his eyes, and I went to move towards him. He shook his head and continued. As my eyes roamed around I noticed everyone was crying. When I moved my gaze back to Mason he was staring at Cassie’s coffin.
“Cass, I miss you so much and so does Lucca. I wish you were here to see his first smile and first steps and everything else. I had you for so many years and all he had was four short weeks with you. I’m so sorry I didn’t see it and that I wasn’t around much. I wish you’d told me how much…” he swallowed, “how much you needed me. I love you so much Cassie and I’ll never forget you. Sleep well angel. We’ll meet again one day. Until then I’m going to spend every moment telling your son how amazing you were and how much you loved him.”
A song began playing and Mason came back to my side. His shoulders shook as the song I recognised as Adele, All I Ask, played. The coffin began to move down and Mason pulled me into his arms, burying his face in my neck. His pain hurt me and I shed a few tears, but I held onto him and let him get it out.
As the song ended everyone left, but Mason sat down and pulled me down with him. He didn’t speak and neither did I. For ten minutes we sat in silence and then Harris came back in with Lucca in his arms. “Mason, we need to get going.”
Mason nodded and stood up, holding my hand. We walked hand in hand towards the exit. He stopped and blew a kiss over his shoulder, letting go of my hand as he did. He walked out, and went straight into the car. It moved away before I got there. His eyes dropped as he saw me standing there.
Quinn walked over and pulled me over to the car they were in. “He’s okay, Amber. He just needs a little time alone right now.” I nodded and climbed in beside Lexa. She was sobbing in the backseat and I instantly felt awful. I was so swept up in Mason, it didn’t even cross my mind that all too soon Ellis’s funeral would be here.
I moved beside Lexa and hugged her, breaking down as it hit me that Ellis was really gone. In a few days we’d be doing this all over again. “I’m so sorry, Lexa.” She sobbed and sobbed. All I could do was hold onto her.
“Amber, I’m sorry you won’t be there.” Her broken voice filled the car and my eyes shot to hers. “My mom and dad don’t want you there. I’m sorry.” Her broken tearstained face stopped me going off on one. I knew it was just the grief talking, but it hurt that her parents weren’t going to let me go to Ellis’s funeral.
As the car drove, I sat staring out of the window, ignoring everyone and trying to be strong, but my heart was hurting. My parents didn’t want me and the closest people I had to parents didn’t want me. What was wrong with me? Why did nobody want me?
We pulled up at a bar and the boys stepped out, followed by Lexa. I needed a minute by myself. I watched as Mason walked over to the boys and pulled Harris in for a hug. I didn’t move, but watched as everyone went inside, leaving Mason outside. After another few minutes I climbed out of the car and Mason pulled me into his arms.
Mason
As I sped away from the church I saw Amber’s face fading into the background. Her eyes were wide in surprise and her lips opened in an O shape. She couldn’t believe I’d left her there. I couldn’t believe it either, but I needed some time by myself. As I sat in the car, being driven to the bar for the wake, I wanted to go back for her, but I couldn’t.
I wanted to punch myself, but I had to keep going. I had to get to the pub first to speak to Jimmy and Clara and I needed to keep Amber out of the spotlight. We pulled up ten minutes later. Jimmy was standing there waiting on me.
“Hello son,” Jimmy called out, “how are you?” He nodded at me and Clara walked over and pulled me in for a hug. She was a tiny wispy woman, with grey hair, huge brown eyes and glasses that magnified how big her eyes were. She always dressed in green, today it was bottle green pants and blazer and a mint green shirt. She had been like a second mom to me since I was seventeen, and she was Quinn’s aunt.
“I’m doing okay, thanks. Is everything ready?” I asked glancing around. Jimmy’s had been our local for a number of years and he loved Cassie like a daughter. When I’d been thinking about where to go after the funeral Jimmy’s was the best place.
The outside was green with panelled sides and brown windows. The sign hung over the doorway and blew in the wind. As we stood outside in those few moments, some cars pulled up and my mom hopped out of my SUV with Helena following after her.
I had a suspicion that Helena was behind Kurt finding Amber, but it wasn’t the time to mention it. My mom plucked Sophia’s stroller from the back and put my sleeping baby girl in it. She looked so sweet in a dark purple dress with her blonde hair up in bows, one at each side of her head. Lucca was taken out in his car seat and together my mom and Hel strolled into Jimmy’s.
He moved towards them, opening the door and showing them through to the back, where the function was. Archie was already there, making sure no press could sneak in. My mom walked inside, but I wanted to wait outside. I needed to know if Amber was okay, or if she’d finally realised what a prize fuck up I was.
I glanced down at my watch and a shadow fell over me. As I glanced around, I saw a woman saunter away. My heart stopped in my chest. For a moment I couldn’t move and then I took off after her. I could have sworn it was Ollie. As I reached the end of the block another of the cars pulled up and Jackson got out, and strolled inside. I should really have been there to meet people, but my head was in too much of a clusterfuck.
“Mason,” my mom called and I jogged towards her. She was pacing up and down in front of the bar. As I reached her she put her hand on my arm. “I need to talk to you son.” Her voice was brittle and her eyes darted nervously around.
I let her lead me inside, but stopped in the main bar area, sitting down. It was quiet. I didn’t know what she wanted to talk to me about, but suddenly I was nervous. My hands shook as I placed them onto my lap. I tried to look cool and collected as I sat there. She glanced at me once and lifted a drink to her lips, taking a slow pull on it before setting it down. She didn’t seem to want to start speaking and fidgeted with her hands for a moment.
“What is it mom?” I asked her slowly, putting my hand over hers. She looked into my eyes, with tears in her own.
She shook her head and pursed her lips as she looked at me. Eventually she drew in a shaky breath and muttered, “here goes,” while staring at the table before she lifted her eyes to mine.
As I met her gaze, something shifted in her eyes and she straightened her back. “Ollie’s back.” Her words knocked the breath out of me and my whole body shuddered as I watched her. How could she possibly have known Ollie was back? But as I looked at her it became clearer to me. Ollie had been back for a while and had approached my mom to try and get me onside. I stared at my mom with my mouth open as different thoughts raced around my head. She was back, and she probably wanted more money, because the four hundred grand she stole wasn’t enough. Or worse she wanted my baby girl.
As soon as the thought about Sophia hit, I glared at my mom. “Have you seen her?” My mom n
odded and my gaze narrowed, my hand shaking atop of hers. “Mom, did you let her see Sophia?”
My mom nodded again and I snatched my hand away from her as tears rolled down her face. “She’s her mom and she just wanted to see her. She’s so great with her. You should see them together.”
Her words sounded in my head, but all I could think about was how betrayed I felt, I’d trusted my mom with Sophia and she’d screwed me over for what? For fucking what? “Why Mom? Why would you do that? I told you she wasn’t to see her. That if she ever approached you to come to me.” My voice shook and I couldn’t even look at her.
“She’s your wife…” I started to laugh mirthlessly and stood up, shoving my chair back from the table. “Mason, wait please.” My mom pleaded with me, putting her arm on mine. I shrugged her off and spun towards her.
“No, Mom. She’s nothing to me. She walked out on me and Sophia and cleared out our account of four hundred k. I want nothing to do with her. I can’t believe…” I shook my head, taking a step back. I turned for the door.
As I walked away I heard Hel call my name, but I kept going. Only stopping as I reached outside. I leaned down and tried to gather my thoughts when the final car pulled onto the road. I knew who it was without even looking. As I straightened up, I could feel her eyes on me, burning me as they seared onto my soul. I needed her. In that moment all I could think about was how much I needed her and how much I wanted her.
Screw everything else. She was my salvation. My light. My everything. As everyone stepped out of the car and hugged me, it was her I was waiting on. Her I was waiting to see. I stood by the boys and waited for a few moments. When I saw Amber standing a short distance away, watching me, I marched over and pulled her into my arms. I knew I needed her like I needed oxygen. Like I needed light and love and music.
She relaxed into my embrace and I kissed her head. Over the past few days, she’d been my rock, and like it or not, I was completely in love with her. What that meant for us I didn’t know. I had time to figure it out. As I held Amber I heard a noise from up the street and I glanced up, seeing a head of blonde hair whipping around the corner.
Black Mercy (San Francisco Rock Romance Book 1) Page 20