by Rayna Stone
James understood that one. Far too well. If things ended up working out between them, they would have to seriously address what would happen if her colleagues found out. It was no secret that triads sometimes had to choose their relationship over their jobs and friends. Luckily, in their town, friends wouldn’t be a problem, but a position at a major university might be. “We don’t have to worry overmuch about being seen around town. People around here are very accepting, and we’ll be viewed by most as just friends hanging out. For the time being, we will do everything we can to make sure only a select few and very trustworthy friends know that there is more to this relationship.”
“Oh. Okay. See, that’s another concern right there. Relationship. I haven’t had one of those before, and I’m not too sure I’d be any good at that. Actually, I’m positive I have no idea how to be in a relationship. I have no frame of reference for that.”
James couldn’t hold back the chuckle now. She was so serious and worried that she didn’t even realize Ryan had started running his hand up and down her leg. They would have so much fun getting her to shut down her brain. They’d make sure that she felt every touch they gave her.
“How about this. We go on some dates and get to know each other. See if we feel like there’s something there beyond a casual friendship. Then, if we’re all ready to move forward, we consider ourselves in a relationship. You don’t need to worry about what to do, you just be yourself. We’ll work it out as we go. As long as it feels right, then you’re doing it right. Okay? No stress, no spreadsheets, just doing what feels good and makes you happy.” He didn’t miss the moment of horror that crossed her face when he mentioned spreadsheets, but overall, she seemed to relax. “Any other concerns?”
“Well, mostly just one more. About this BDSM stuff. I’m not so good at taking orders. I actually hate it. I’ve been on my own a long time, and I’ve worked really hard to be independent. I don’t know that I could be submissive to you all the time.”
Ah. The common misconception that submissives were mindless robots that lived to carry out demands. “Angel, I’m not dominant in daily life. I like to take charge in a sexual situation, but I have no desire to tell you how to live your life. I won’t order you around or make demands of you unless there’s some physical intimacy involved. And as far as that goes, we experiment. Everyone has to determine what they’re comfortable with. We can try different things if we get to that point and see what you like, what you don’t. Ryan and I spent years getting to a place where we knew our roles in the bedroom and out. Perhaps the power exchange will be intense for Ryan and I, but less so for you. All three of us will need to adjust. Finding our places in all aspects of this will be part of the fun. The bottom line is, if it doesn’t work for you, we find something that does. If the connection is there, this is no different than any other relationship. Everybody needs to find what makes them happy.”
Alexa breathed a sigh of relief and gave them each a small smile. “Okay, that sounds reasonable. But are you sure about the spreadsheets? I could make one with a list of all the things we try, document the outcome, and expand on things we like, analyze what went wrong and why…”
James cut her off before she ended up with a PowerPoint presentation on Bondage 101. He rolled his eyes at Ryan, who seemed to be basking in her nerdiness. “I think we’ll be just fine without a spreadsheet. And I think it’s time Ry and I left so we can all get some sleep. Are you still up for the hike tomorrow?”
That perked her right up. “You bet. I can’t wait to get on some trails. Should I meet you somewhere?”
Ryan helped her up from the couch. “No, baby. We’ll pick you up at nine, okay?”
Once Alexa agreed on the time she showed them to the door. They said good-bye and started for the car. Ryan gave him a brilliant smile. “You know she’s totally going to make a spreadsheet, right?”
James just rolled his eyes again. “Yes. Don’t tell Kelly, though. Those two could put together an entire four-year degree based on our sex life. ‘BDSM: Practices, Psychology, and Positions.’ We’d end up spending all our time at munches across the globe.”
Chapter Nine
Alexa was bouncing on the balls of her feet by eight thirty the next morning. She had all the fixings for sandwiches packed, and there was plenty of cheese, crackers, and other snack foods thrown in for good measure. Since the guys said that they would be back at the car for lunch, she didn’t have to worry about how much to pack. Except that meant that now she didn’t have anything to do. Usually when she hiked, she had to make sure her rig was weighted well and everything was in its proper place. She also always brought along some of her tools in case she saw a rock she liked or felt like digging around to see what was there. This morning she had her CamelBak for water and that was it. She felt naked. She also felt nervous. She was going on her first real date. It was going to be with two men. And she had no idea how to handle that.
Thankfully the guys were right on time, and within minutes they were barreling down the road. The weather was going to be perfect, still crisp and chilly in the morning before the heat of late summer beat down on them in the thin air. The sun was out and the leaves were still lush. Alexa preferred hiking in the fall when the trees were changing, but with the birds singing and the fresh mountain air, it didn’t get much better than today.
The conversation in the car was light. They told her about the hiking trail they’d be using today and some of the others nearby. After the serious conversation of the night before, she was caught off guard by their playful banter. In fact, she was still trying to switch gears when she agreed to try horseback riding for the next outing. Since she had never been on a horse, and didn’t relish the idea of it now, she really needed to get her head in the game. She never really had friends, or even anyone to talk to until college, so she had missed out on the skills most people learned to navigate social situations. She wasn’t completely inept, but she had learned really fast that it was best to keep to herself when she was young. As she got to college, she put on a more stoic, often times standoffish face. She could socialize, it just took her a little longer to strategize how she intended to handle a particular situation.
James and Ryan, they kept her off balance. Changing from playful to flirtatious, and then, digging for personal information. She found herself just answering questions because she didn’t have the time to define her role. It was nice to actually open up to someone, all the more so because she didn’t feel like they were tricking her to get her to respond to them. But she’d have to be a bit more careful if they were going to start bringing horses into the equation. Horses, they were big fuckers that bit you. Yeah, she was going to have to pay more attention.
The car rolled to a stop at the entrance to a little park. There were barbecue pits and picnic benches, even a little cleared field for baseball. It was nice and peaceful, and somewhere she could imagine a family coming for a Sunday of lazing around and playing with the kids. Off to the side was the beginning of a trail that went straight into the woods. It looked like one of those fitness trails where there were stops every so often for the hiker to do some sort of exercise. Alexa smirked a little, as those fitness trails were usually pretty easy to hike. She’d show these men they didn’t have to be so careful with her. She wanted the hard-core stuff. The kind of trail that really gave you a challenge. The kind of trail that didn’t need to add exercises along the way to get your heart rate up. Of course, if they ever managed to get her on a horse, they better pick the biggest pansy-assed trail available. Preferably one that only required her to sit on the thing and say “good horsey.”
James came up beside her and gave her a beautiful smile. He really was gorgeous. He was taller than Ryan, but thinner. She hadn’t seen much skin, but his clothes intimated that what lay beneath would be hard packed and lean. The kind of body that was taken care of, but not pushed to extremes for muscle building. Ryan, on the other hand, looked like the kind of guy who enjoyed his protein shakes. S
he could see his arms bulge beneath his shirt and his thighs barely fit in his jeans.
“We’re going to play an information-sharing game,” James said. “We could take months and months getting to know each other, but sometimes it’s easier to get to the heart of someone when you’re willing to take the risk and open yourself up. So, it’s sort of like twenty questions. If I think the information is surface material, something I could find on a resume, we’ll provide similar information. If I think the information is personal, something that molded who you are, you get a reward and we’ll also share something personal.” He winked at her. “Deal?”
Well, in for a penny in for a pound. She’d never opened up to anyone before, and here she was, without a soul in the world that even cared if she existed. She wanted to be brave enough to try, and she wanted these guys to know her. Alexa nodded her head and hoped that she didn’t disappoint them or herself by the end of this hike.
After they had walked a few paces, Ryan turned her way and said, “So here’s an example. I’m a veterinarian, and I really like working with wood. I carve things and I’m trying to make some furniture. Now, thankfully I’m a good vet because I totally suck at woodworking.”
“Ry, it’s been two years and you still can’t make a table with a level surface. And when he says he ‘carves things,’ what he means is that he tortures the wood until it resembles an ameba and then he calls it a mountain lion.”
Ryan smacked James on the arm and rolled his eyes. “It’s a skill that requires a lot of practice.”
Alexa couldn’t help but relax and smile at them. They were so easy with each other. And it was nice to hear that Ryan wasn’t perfect. Granted, it was just an inability to carve wood, but it was something. “I’m a paleontologist. It’s all I ever wanted to be, really. After my doctorate I spent the last few years on various dig sites helping other teams. I’ve made a lot of professional connections, so that’s good, but I took the job with my old professor so I could see if I would enjoy doing something that added a bit of stability to my life. I don’t really have any hobbies unless you consider reading and apparently surfing the net for information on orgasms.” They laughed. She made them laugh. A small thrill bubbled to the surface at the sound of it. A sound she was responsible for.
Still chuckling, James put his hand on her lower back to help her over a fallen branch. That thrill was even better. He dipped his head so that she could feel his breath on her neck. “Since I’m a big fan of orgasms, I find that particular hobby fascinating.” Do not trip. Do not trip.
“Okay, I’m a vet and I like horseback riding, as I mentioned. I grew up in a small town, I’ve been riding since I could walk, so I wanted to settle in a place where I could still live in the country and yet get to a city easily. We met Kelly in college and she moved out here to open a spa. After vet school, it almost seemed too good to be true, but Holly Oaks is perfect for us. The people are great, the area is beautiful, and Denver isn’t far. So, that’s my resume info.”
Alexa picked up the pace, knowing the easy part of the game was over. Now she’d see just how brave she was. She wanted to make the first gesture. Show them she could do this. Maybe even show them why it was so hard for her to do this. Without breaking her pace or making eye contact, she took a breath and decided on where to begin.
“I didn’t grow up with such a great family. So I kind of stayed to myself as a kid. I liked to read a lot, and that was my escape I guess. When I was nine, my parents died and I went into the foster system. It wasn’t bad, but a kid that has a hard time fitting in and is a foster kid doesn’t do so well.
“I was moved from home to home. Nobody was mean, but they weren’t exactly loving either. I wasn’t a permanent fixture for them, so they gave what they could and sent me to the next place. I knew that if I didn’t get my shit together I’d be in real trouble when I aged out. I saw what happened to some of those kids. All of a sudden you’re on your own with nothing. Everyone wipes their hands of you. I knew that if I worked hard enough and got scholarships and jobs, I could go to college. All I ever wanted since as long as I can remember was the stability that a degree could give me. So I busted my ass and put myself through college. I don’t have to worry about getting a job now, or where I’ll sleep at night, but here I am almost thirty and I don’t have any friends or family. Nothing but my job. I don’t think it’s enough anymore.”
James slowed his steps. “No friends or family?”
“No. I have a lot of colleagues, but nobody that I’ve let in to my life. I tend to push people away when they try to get close. It’s easier than facing rejection. It’s easier than letting them see who I was. I was judged for my parents and my situation for so long that I just gave up rather than face that judgment. And I guess I do have an uncle, but I only found out about him a few years ago and I’d rather forget he exists. He never tried to contact me until he found out I had something he wants. He’s more an annoyance than an uncle.”
Alexa stopped in her tracks and finally looked at both men. “So, I decided to try and push my fears aside and find a home. Make friends. Be part of a community. I want to have people in my life that actually count on me. I want to know I’m the kind of person that won’t let them down. And I want to have people that I can lean on, too.” She snorted a derisive laugh. “You know, give-and-take relationships. Just like a big girl.”
James stepped in front of Alexa, right into her personal space. “That was so brave, angel. Giving us that piece of you. You don’t have to worry about us judging a little girl for the actions of the people who were supposed to love her and take care of her. You made a life for yourself, and you held yourself together for so long. You can trust that we’re here now to help you stand. No matter what happens between us in the future, you gave us this gift and we aren’t going to abandon you. It’s a piece of you that should be protected and cared for, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do. You don’t have to be alone in the world. We’d both be honored to stand beside you.”
Alexa could feel her throat close up and her nose start to sting. She would not cry. Not even one tear. What James said was the most beautiful thing she ever heard and he should get smiles for that, not her tears. They wanted to protect a piece of her. She’d never even considered that’s what a friend would want to do. But now that the seed was planted, that’s what she knew she’d been craving all along. Someone to protect her heart. And she felt the desire to protect them just as strongly. She wanted to do whatever she could to give them the feeling of peace she felt seeping through her bones right this second.
Alexa felt Ryan move in behind her and grip her hips. “Are you ready for your reward, angel?”
James came closer when she whispered “yes” and cupped her face in both of his large hands. “Close your eyes, angel. I want you to just feel. Feel how grateful we are that you let us in.”
Alexa closed her eyes and immediately noticed how her other senses took over. She could smell each of the men surrounding her, and Jesus, it had to be pheromones. No man had ever smelled like this. She could detect a hint of soap, and some leather, but mostly it was just a clean, masculine scent. Not overpowering, not even sweat, she had no idea what it was, but it made her want to breathe deeper and take that smell into her whole body. It made her sway and reach out for balance. Her hands landed on James’s hips, and the sculpted feel of them caused her to reflexively tighten her hold.
She felt Ryan shift her ponytail over her shoulder and snuggle up close to her back. The heat that seeped through her shirt was quickly matched when James leaned in and she felt his lips sweep over her forehead and down her temple. She was flooded with sensation. Ryan’s lips trailing the back of her neck and James’s memorizing her face. She’d never experienced anything like it. They weren’t kissing her or tasting her, they were mapping her with touch. Like they needed to know the feel of her before they could take in any more.
It was almost impossible to stay still and let them continue to care
ss her face and neck, but somehow she knew not to move. Her stomach clenched while her heartbeat accelerated. She wanted to nuzzle her face against James, or tip her head for Ryan, or push her pelvis into James, or rub her ass against Ryan. Jesus, she had too many options and wanted them all at once. Then she felt the warm, damp touch of Ryan’s tongue press to the skin right behind her ear at the same time she felt James’s tongue lick the corner of her mouth. How their timing could be so precise was her only thought before Ryan dipped into her ear and James laved her lower lip. The shock of how erotic it felt made her gasp. James latched onto her mouth, fitting her lower lip between his own right as Ryan sucked her earlobe into the heat of his mouth.
Alexa’s heart stopped beating entirely. The air froze in her lungs. All she could feel was the pull on her ear and the strong intent of James’s mouth. Too soon, before she could even react, they slowly pulled away. She blinked lazily into the deep pools of brown in James’s eyes as Ryan whispered in her ear, “Perfect.”
* * * *
James had to take a minute to get his bearings after that kiss. Though it was completely innocent, it was a more intimate experience than he’d shared with anyone but Ryan in his life. There was so much more to this woman than he could have imagined. He had to admit to himself that before this day, he thought Alexa might be someone they could share some time and fun with. He didn’t really believe that anything lasting would develop because he had given up hope that it was possible. After witnessing how beautifully she opened herself up to them, and told them things that she had probably never told anyone, he knew he was caught. He wanted more from her now. He wanted to make this work between them. And he had a fierce need to give her the kind of love and protection that she’d been missing her whole life.