Hidden Depths

by Ally Rose

  ON 9TH NOVEMBER 1989, the Berlin Wall came down. The sequence of events leading up to this was clearly influenced by the fall of Communism throughout Eastern Europe that year. However, there was one East German who gained much notoriety for precipitating the fall of the Wall on this night rather than any other night. His name was Gunther Schabowski.

  A Politburo minister, Schabowski announced on television that East Germans were free to travel outside the country immediately. In his second, revised and corrected version later the same day he announced citizens could apply for a visa on 10thNovember, valid for travel the following day. Confusion and chaos reigned as crowds, full of expectation, gathered at checkpoints throughout East Berlin.

  The Stasi uniformed officers and border guards at the checkpoints who previously would not hesitate to open fire with their shoot to kill policy of anyone trying to escape from the East to the West, started to have doubts. These doubts grew as the guards questioned their role, their job as – supposedly – keepers of the peace, their power to enforce it and ultimately their purpose. The gentle push of the crowd met feeble resistance; the guards opened the borders and looked on passively in amazement, stunned and powerless.

  Klaus, Ingrid and Felix ate their dinner on trays in front of an open fire and watched, in awe, the live coverage on East German television. Ingrid had cooked fricasee with bread, one of her mother’s recipes, and their bellies were warm and full. Life couldn’t get any better watching the events in Berlin unfold on this historic night.

  ‘I’ve been keeping a bottle of Schnapps for a special occasion,’ Ingrid announced, opening the drinks cabinet.

  The telephone rang. It was Gisela, Klaus’s mother.

  ‘Mutti. Yes, it’s great news… We’re watching the television coverage right now… Yes, Ingrid’s fine… Can I call you back a bit later? Thank you. Tschuss .’

  ‘You always get your mother off the phone as quick as possible. Poor Gisela.’

  ‘Ingrid, don’t nag,’ Klaus told her.

  The telephone rang again. This time it was Bernd.

  Klaus listened a few minutes and suddenly burst out laughing.

  ‘Poor Ute… she’ll get over it.’ Klaus told his brother. ‘Tschuss .’

  Klaus returned to the fireside.

  ‘Bernd said he thinks he’ll soon be made redundant from the Communist party.’

  ‘Don’t be silly Klaus. And what’s that about Ute, is she ill?’

  Felix was quick on the uptake. ‘I think you mean Tante Ute will miss the privileges of being a functionaire’s wife. Isn’t that right, Onkel?’

  Klaus winked at his nephew. ‘Glad to see you’ve got your brains from Ingrid’s side of the family, my boy.’

  Ingrid gave Klaus a nudge for his cheek. ‘Well, I’d take advantage too, given the option of shopping in Western stores. Maybe soon we’ll all have that privilege.’

  Felix had often been afraid to speak for fear of the consequences at Torgau, realising his politeness, silence and obedience usually kept him out of trouble – except when trouble had knocked on his bedpost at night. Whatever he did or said made no difference then. Now, he was hearing rare praise for his opinions and his confidence grew.

  ‘Tante, don’t jump the gun,’ Felix warned. ‘They’ll close up the borders again just as quickly as they’ve opened them.’

  Ingrid took Felix’s hand. ‘Don’t worry, life only goes forward and tonight is a big step forward. Whatever happens, you’re safe with us.’

  ‘I don’t want to leave Motzen ever again,’ Felix told them.

  ‘You won’t have to. You can live in my mother’s house.’

  ‘Ingrid! Not now,’ Klaus exclaimed. It seemed inappropriate to bring up the subject now. Ingrid had never mentioned Gertrude’s house in front of Felix before.

  ‘Oma Gertrude’s house? It’s in the village, near the pond. Susi and I used to visit her there. We loved staying in Oma’s house.’

  ‘Yes, that’s right,’ said Ingrid, looking at Klaus, knowing she’d now have to explain things to her nephew, if only to appease her disapproving husband.

  ‘Sometimes, when I’m out running at night, I go there and sit in the garden,’ Felix confessed. ‘It hasn’t changed a bit.’

  ‘You do? Good job you haven’t been seen, my boy,’ said Klaus. ‘Well, we keep an eye on it, opening the windows a few days a week to freshen it up and tend the garden.’

  ‘Because the house belongs to you and Susanne,’ Ingrid added.

  Felix shook his head. ‘I don’t understand.’

  Ingrid couldn’t face telling how she had alienated Sofie, breaking their close sisterly bond. To give Sofie’s children the house was a small gesture in reconciliation and would give the twins some security. Ingrid and Klaus had agreed on this act of atonement and giving up Gertrude’s house was a small sacrifice they were happy to make. Ingrid lived with her guilt about Sofie on a daily basis. Felix reminded her of her sister… the way he moved, his looks, his mannerisms, his smile. She would be brave one day and tell him, when he was a man, to ensure he had no false illusions about her and she hoped when he heard the truth he’d be able to forgive her even if she couldn’t forgive herself. Tonight a half-truth would suffice.

  ‘Well, it’s like this. Klaus and I have our home and a little plot of land here and Gertrude wanted Sofie to have a home here too. When you and Susanne are adults, the two of you can decide.’

  Ingrid had spoken from the heart. Klaus gave her a look of approval. Suddenly, Felix felt overwhelmed and vulnerable. ‘We’ve got to get Susi out of Torgau and bring her here,’ he urged them, beginning to sob. Ingrid reached out to him and held him in her arms.

  ‘She’s all alone in that scheisse place!’ Felix blurted out.

  ‘We’ll get her out when the time’s right, I promise,’ Klaus told him.

  After a few deep breaths he became calmer, feeling he could melt into the safety of Ingrid’s arms. It had been a long, long time since anybody had touched him in a comforting, non-threatening way, let alone hugged him.

  ‘Now the Wall is down, must I stay hidden?’ he asked.

  ‘Let’s wait a little longer, just to be sure. Events are unfolding very quickly. But I’ll tell Bernd about you,’ Klaus reassured Felix. ‘I’m sure his last assignment in the Communist party will be to help us reintroduce you to society and get Susanne out of that place. Can we all agree on that?’

  ‘Agreed,’ echoed Ingrid and Felix.

  ‘Now, how about a Schnapps?’

  Chapter Five: Fated Coincidences

  A FEW DAYS AFTER the fall of the Wall, the full moon went almost unnoticed amongst the blaze of lights from the worldwide television networks encamped in Berlin near the Brandenburg Gate. The celebrations had continued non-stop, day and night, with crowds gathering at this symbolic place; an obvious focal point of a once divided city.

  It was here in June 1963, two years after the wall had been erected, that President John F. Kennedy visited the city to show moral support and stood by the Wall with the incumbent West German Chancellor, Willy Brandt. Later that day, at the Schoneberger Rathaus, JFK gave a rousing after-dinner speech, proclaiming ‘Ich bin ein Berliner ’. Berliners who witnessed the enigmatic and influential American’s speech that day knew the speech could be literally distorted into a joke, as a berliner is also a doughnut pastry. But taken in its intended form, ‘I am a Berliner’, or rather ‘I’m one of you and on your side’, the President was given a warm and rapturous applause.

  The Wall was slowly being dismantled. Chunks were now missing where ‘woodpeckers’ had chiselled away with their hammers until the holes were wide enough to walk through. Pieces of the wall would later be sought-after souvenirs and sold as memorabilia. For now, though, the crowds were not thinking about future money-making ventures. They were ecstatic, climbing the wall to wave German flags without the risk of being shot. The atmosphere was jovial and euphoric; the German nation was in union at last.

  These images
were broadcast around the globe. Against this backdrop, dignitaries up to be interviewed and the biggest cheers were saved for the German Chancellor, Helmut Kohl. He made a daily appearance and mingled amongst the crowd making daily, televised speeches to the crowds and his popularity soared.

  Klaus and Ingrid wanted to experience the atmosphere in Berlin first hand. With them on the train to Berlin was Felix, wearing his usual disguise of a dark wig and hat. At Ost Bahnof they walked amongst the crowds along the Wall by the River Spree to the Oberbaum Bridge. Here, those from the East who attempted to climb over the Wall had to swim across the river to freedom in the West. Felix had been desperate to come here to see where his inebriated father Jakob had perished in a futile attempt to escape to the west. But despite the dismantling of the Berlin Wall, the bridge remained closed and impenetrable. Felix found a small hole in the wall and peered through.

  ‘This is where my father ended up,’ he announced. ‘The fool somehow got as far as the middle of the bridge before the guards opened fire.’

  Klaus understood. ‘That’s why you wanted us to come here.’

  ‘Yes, Onkel. Mutti hid the report but I found it. Jakob didn’t die from being shot. The bullet hit his cigarette case in his breast pocket. How lucky was that? No, he was stupid enough to jump into the water, and drowned because the drunken fool couldn’t swim.’

  Ingrid put her arm around Felix.

  ‘I’m OK,’ Felix shrugged. ‘Come on, let’s get over to Checkpoint Charlie.’

  They walked along the U-Bahn to Friedrichstrasse and waited patiently in line to pass through. It felt surreal. At Checkpoint Charlie the guards were relaxed and friendly but even so, no one in the crowd dared to ask the guards why they were still there. It was in stark contrast to the recent shoot to kill policy for escapees, because if it was deemed the guards had missed on purpose, they were court-martialled. But they rarely missed their targets. The Stasi held great fear for East Germans and this would not disappear overnight. No one could predict this really was the end after 44 years of the Socialist era in East Germany. Political idealism seemed split: those who fully believed in the Communist system versus those who were celebrating a glimpse of freedom from suppression and a new vision of the future. Both sides had never known any other life. Fear had long bought their silence and obedience and it was hard to trust the miracle unfolding before their very eyes.

  The little group of three walked hand in hand to the western side of Berlin. Cheers and the popping sounds of champagne corks greeted them. A tall young woman, with closely cropped hair, carrying her baby in a pouch, passed by, shoved a banana into Felix’s hand and disappeared into the crowd with her baby and bag of bananas. Felix, knowing how rare and sought after bananas were in the East at that time, offered to share it.

  ‘You eat your little pot of gold,’ Klaus and Ingrid told him and enjoyed watching Felix wolfing down the banana with gusto.

  They continued to the wide avenue of Unter Den Linden, with its long alley of linden trees, beautiful in summer and now bare of leaves on this autumnal evening. Ahead were the lights and sounds of the celebrations in Pariser Platz by the Brandenburg Gate.

  A catering truck offered free warm drinks to the East Germans – known in the West as ‘Ossies’ – who showed their identity cards. Ossies were easily spotted with their antiquated and unfashionable clothing in contrast to the West Germans, or ‘Wessies’, with their access to Western consumerism. The Wessies were affluent in comparison and had to buy their drinks, thus the catering truck made money in spite of its spirit of altruism.

  Klaus queued for coffees whilst Ingrid and Felix waited nearby. A loud cheer rang out as another chunk of the wall crumbled under the pressure of the constant chiselling. A gaping hole opened, like a gate to a secret garden, an opening to the possibility of an unknown enchantment on the other side.

  ‘I’m going to walk through the hole in the wall,’ Felix announced. ‘Don’t worry, Tante, I know where you are and I won’t be long.’

  Ingrid watched Felix disappearing into the crowd. She was anxious about losing him in the crowd but watching Felix taste the air of freedom in the last few days, she could not let her fears stand in the way of his excitement and pleasure.

  Felix reached the gap in the wall. A 10-year-old boy was running in and out of the hole. A girl, three or four years older, grabbed the boy’s hand and pulled him away.

  ‘No!’ The boy screamed as he tussled for control with his sister.

  The girl stubbornly insisted. ‘Yes. Papa said not to!’

  Felix could tell they were Ossies by their clothes as he was dressed in a similar fashion. For some reason, which was making him feel uncomfortable, he couldn’t take his eyes off the pretty girl.

  ‘Martha and Friedrich! Stop that,’ boomed a familiar voice.

  Felix froze as a small, athletic man of about 50 arrived to chastise his children. Surreptitiously pulling up his collar and wrapping his scarf around his face so only his eyes were visible, Felix shrank into the shadows. The children’s papa didn’t notice him but Felix knew the man standing less than five metres away from him was Dr Jens Wissemann, an employee at Torgau – the man who had helped Felix escape.

  ‘Come on, you two,’ Dr Wissemann told his children, pulling them apart and returning them to their mother who was standing with her back to Felix. In the midst of this activity something fell unnoticed from the doctors’ coat pocket – his identity card. He’d shown it to get his family the free hot drinks on offer at the catering truck and shoved it carelessly into his pocket. Felix swooped to retrieve it. Before he had time to return it, Dr Wissemann and his family had disappeared into the crowd.

  In his haste to find the doctor, Felix almost collided with the banana lady with the baby he’d seen earlier that evening.

  ‘Like a banana?’ she asked.

  ‘You already gave me one, at Checkpoint Charlie,’ Felix reminded her.

  ‘Did I? Then have my last one.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Felix couldn’t refuse another delicious banana. He offered to shake her hand, intending to make a quick getaway.

  ‘I wanted to do something tonight,’ she began, ‘to be a part of history and offer a symbol of sorts. When my daughter asks, “Where were you when the Wall came down and what did you do?” I’ll say, bananas!’ She laughed.

  ‘Thank you, it’s very kind of you,’ Felix told her.

  The baby was wrapped up snugly and was quite content amongst the noise and excitement of the crowd. A young woman with spiky, punk-style hair appeared and the baby smiled, recognising her mother’s companion.

  ‘Here you are!’ said the woman, kissing the baby.

  ‘I’m all out of bananas. This young man was my last recipient,’ she said, pointing at Felix. ‘What’s your name?’

  Felix gave the first name to come to mind. ‘Jens,’ he replied.

  ‘Jens, pleased to meet you. I’m Hanne, this is my friend Claudia and my daughter Audrey. Where are you from?’

  Felix felt uncomfortable about giving away too much information. ‘Berlin.’

  ‘Whereabouts?’

  ‘I live in Treptow, near the Oberbaum Bridge.’ It wasn’t such a big lie, he used to live there, near to the place where his father drowned.

  ‘Oh, we live the other side of the bridge, in Kreuzberg,’ Hanne told him.

  ‘We’re all Berliners and there’s no more Wall to divide us,’ Claudia cheered.

  ‘Jens, do you mind if we all have a photo together? Hold up your banana for banana posterity?’ Hanne said, laughing at herself.

  Felix reluctantly agreed. What harm could it do? He couldn’t foresee that it would be kept on Hanne’s kitchen wall as a souvenir of this historic night for the next 15 years.

  As their brief encounter was about to end, Audrey reached out her tiny hand and tugged at his hat, which fell, with the wig, to the floor. Hanne glimpsed the scars on Felix’s earlobes and felt a wave of sympathy for him, although she was puzzled as to
why he disguised his fair hair under a dark wig.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Hanne said, embarrassed for him.

  Felix quickly picked up his wig and hat and ran off, back through the hole in the wall to find Ingrid and Klaus.

  ‘There you are!’ said Ingrid. ‘Onkel Klaus has gone looking for you. You were gone ages and your coffee’s gone cold.’

  ‘Sorry,’ muttered Felix, having readjusted his wig and hat just moments before.

  Klaus breathed a sigh of relief when he returned and saw Ingrid and Felix together.

  ‘Where did you go? We were worried about you?’

  ‘I didn’t go far. Sorry, Onkel.’

  ‘Can you believe it? We’re a part of history tonight,’ Klaus told them.

  ‘It’s a miracle,’ Ingrid proclaimed.

  In the crowd, people were shaking hands and hugging one another. The euphoria and party atmosphere would last for days. Klaus felt a little guilty, being in Berlin and not telling his brother, but Felix had to be protected a while longer and hoped Bernd was somewhere in the crowd with his family, enjoying the celebrations.

  Felix patted his pocket regularly to check if Dr Wissemann’s identity card was safe inside. It meant he had the means to contact the man who had smuggled him out of Torgau, if necessary. ‘Oh, I forgot. I was given another banana. Here, I’d like you two to share it.’

  Klaus smiled cheekily at Ingrid, peeled back the banana skin and put the fruit in his mouth while Ingrid took the opposite end in her mouth. They nibbled the banana until their mouths met in the middle for a sticky kiss as with a sudden loud bang, fireworks were set off from the Brandenburg Gate and an explosion of colours lit up the night sky.

  Chapter Six: The Brothers

  FELIX KNEW THAT THE repercussions from the fall of the Wall would dictate when he could re-emerge back into society, out of the darkness and into the light. Klaus and Ingrid were confident that Torgau would face closure in the new, united Germany and with this in mind, Klaus rang Bernd and asked him to come alone to Motzen, without delay.

  Meanwhile, Felix stayed hidden in Das Kino as a precautionary measure. Fear was a crippling companion after years of state security exercising blanket surveillance and the East Germans knew that severe consequences always followed if the regime was compromised or challenged. Consequently, most ordinary citizens were reluctant to step out of line.