Alien Interludes

by Tracy St. John

  Raxstad lumbered to his feet. “I’m grateful we have such a concerned Imperial Clan. It’s only that it makes my job harder when Clajak shows up at headquarters, wanting detailed reports on the spot.” Korkla nodded. “I’l see what I can do to distract him. You know how he gets. The man has the focus of a laser when he’s determined.” Raxstad paused long enough to kiss Michaela good night before he joined Govi in the depths of slumber.

  At least he’d remembered her. Govi hadn’t.

  “Jessica said the baby kicked Clajak awake last night,” she reported to Korkla.

  He snorted. “Just what I need. A sleep-deprived emperor.”

  “One more week until the birth.”

  Korkla sighed. “That’s right. I keep forgetting to put in for time off. The timing couldn’t be worse, but we’l have to do the best we can.” He had retreated into his own little world as the other two had, leaving Michaela alone. She stared at Korkla, wiling him to see her again, as he had when they’d first met.

  Please look at me. Please see I’m sad and tell me everything is okay. Tell me you still love me, and that you’re past the disappointment I’ve caused.

  None of that happened. Korkla finished his meal and apologizing for his fatigue, he kissed Michaela good night. The Dramok left her to join the other two men in the sleeping room.

  After a while of sitting at the table, staring at nothing in particular, Michaela rose and cleared the remains of the meal. Once that was done, she felt at a loss. If she crawled into bed with her mates, she’d no doubt disturb them with her tossing and turning. These last few months, she’d held off joining her sleeping clan until she was so tired she could no longer keep her eyes open.

  The nursery was ready, as it had been for weeks. Al the unfolding and refolding of Serena’s wardrobe had done nothing to give Michaela the sense of motherhood. Yet she found herself in the room once more. She stood in the middle of the dyed pink fur carpeting, feeling only emptiness inside and out.

  She stared into the ful-length mirror across the room, wondering for perhaps the hundredth time why she’d bought it. The time when Serena would preen before it, modeling a new dress or gown, was stil years away. The mirror was another of those happy purchases from the first pregnancy, when Michaela had envisioned the entire future of her child-to-be in al its glory.

  For now it showed only Michaela. Her dark features, a testament to her Middle-Eastern ancestry and so similar to her mates’, were drawn with sadness. If her clan had bothered to look at her, realy look at her, they would have seen the dark eyes swimming with almost perpetual tears, how her once round cherubic face had grown gaunt because eating was drudgery to be borne only to keep hunger at bay.

  They’d see how her mid-back length black curls had gone untrimmed for months. Her long, ankle-length dress was wrinkled.

  “Who’d want to look at this anyway?” she growled, self-hatred suddenly burning bright. She tore off the dress, her bra, and underpants and stared at the body that had been her shame for most of her life.

  When clothed, the only hint that Michaela might be different from her felow Earther Mataras was the width of her shoulders and the huskiness of her voice. Her breasts were round, pert mounds, the dusky nipples large and inviting. Her waist was thin, flaring out to hips that matched her shoulders in width. Childbearing hips, and wasn’t that just another cruel joke?

  Naked, her true nature was al too apparent. Her penis and child-sized scrotum partialy hid her vulva. An intersex Earther with fuly-formed genitals of both sexes was so rare as to be virtualy impossible.

  In al of recorded Earth history, Michaela was the first of such to be born, though there were stories of one other in the ancient past. Most intersex individuals possessed one sex in particular with partialy formed parts of the other. Under Earth’s old fanatical regime, the birth of such a rare person was deemed a sign of unholy influence and resulted in the baby being euthanized. A kind doctor, sympathetic to Michaela’s desperate parents’ pleas, had falsified her birth certificate. Michaela had lived her first eighteen years as a male until escaping Earth’s tyranny.

  Her clan had rescued her from certain death. With Korkla, Govi, and Raxstad, Michaela had at last found acceptance of her unique body. The men had assured her of her beauty with compliments, adoration, and ardent lovemaking. With them, she finaly felt worthy of drawing breath.

  They’d made her happy for several years, until this same body refused to support their child. Now they worked long hours until they were too exhausted to make love.

  They had excuses of course. The attacks and abductions. The psychologicaly damaged Mataras. However, Michaela noted Jessica’s men found plenty of time to devote to her, and they were Kalquor’s ruling clan. The empress’ near abduction almost a year ago had made her men al the more devoted to her, forcing them to re-evaluate their priorities and putting her at the top of the list.

  Michaela wondered if it had been her to be kidnapped, would her clan have also made more time for her? Or would their disappointment with her inability to bear their children have left them exactly where they were now?

  Clanning was a permanent arrangement. Korkla, Govi, and Raxstad were stuck with her, a freak of nature who possessed al the parts of a female. But her body wouldn’t do the one thing the nearly extinct Kalquorians needed the most: support a child al the way to birth.

  They made a mistake, and they’ll pay for it the rest of their lives, Michaela thought. That’s why they won’t look at me anymore. That’s why they don’t touch me, except the minimum of what’s expected.

  She put her dress back on, hiding the evidence of what should have never drawn more than half a dozen breaths.

  * * * *

  “Push, my empress. Push hard!”

  Imdiko Flencik, Jessica and Michaela’s personal doctor, coaxed the gasping monarch as she strained to deliver Serena. While childbirth on Kalquor was rendered painless, a lot of effort stil went into it.

  Jessica sweated buckets as she screwed her eyes tightly shut, bearing down for al she was worth. Michaela, holding one of Jessica’s hands, grimaced too. Her friend had a hel of a grip, and the bones in her hands ground painfuly together.

  “Push, push, push,” Flencik commanded, his eyes riveted on the black mass of corkscrew curls slowly emerging from Jessica’s body. Michaela forgot the agony of her hand at the sight.

  Serena has my hair.

  “Rest for a moment, my empress.” Flencik smiled encouragingly at the panting woman. “We’re almost there. One more round wil finish it.”

  “You’re doing fine,” Emperor Clajak whispered on the other side of Jessica. He held her other hand. Emperors Bevau and Egilka stood at the head of the birthing chair, stroking Jessica’s sweaty chestnut locks. Having been through it twice before with their own children’s births, the three men were old hands at this now.

  Michaela’s clan waited outside a curtained partition. Their child or not, it was unthinkable to the Kalquorians for the men of another clan to see Jessica in the throes of childbirth. Michaela wondered what they were thinking, hidden away from her sight.

  “Al right, last time,” Flencik said. “Push with everything you’ve got, my empress.”

  Jessica bore down mightily, and the baby’s entire head emerged. Another push and the little girl was out, glistening and tiny in the cup of Flencik’s huge hands.

  Except for the fact Serena was al female and had blue-purple Kalquorian eyes, she looked exactly like Michaela, who burst into tears as the babe unleashed her first wail.

  Everyone around her grinned. “Congratulations, Matara Michaela,” Flencik rumbled. “Come hold your little girl.” Michaela reached for her, for her baby Serena. The huge Imdiko doctor snuggled the child into the cradle of her arms, and Michaela cried harder, adding her joy to the tot’s enraged squeaks. “Thank you.

  Thank you. Thank you,” she blubbered at everyone, gratitude beaming from each cel of her being. At that moment, al disappointment fled. This litt
le being, with her round cherubic face, uptilted nose, rounded chin, and bow ribbon lips was her child. Michaela finaly felt it with al her being.

  I’m a mother.

  Michaela held her close, and Serena’s wails stiled. So perfect! She couldn’t even wait for Flencik to clean off the fluids. The instant the umbilical cord was cut and sealed, Michaela rushed around the partition to show her clan their daughter.

  The three men gathered close, surrounding mother and child with exclamations of wonder. “So tiny,” Raxstad whispered, his ham-sized hands hovering over but not quite daring to touch Serena.

  “Beautiful,” Korkla breathed. “She looks just like you, my Matara.”

  Too happy to speak, Michaela alowed the Dramok to hold their daughter. Her arms already felt achingly empty without Serena, but she had to admit her joy at seeing her mate cradling the infant.

  After a moment of caressing and whispering sweet nonsense noises at the babe, Korkla reluctantly handed her off to Govi. The Imdiko let tears flow down his cheeks without the slightest indication of shame, making Michaela cry al over again. They were a real family again. She was sure Serena had healed the breach.

  It took a little convincing to get Raxstad to hold his daughter. Michaela had never seen her fierce Nobek mate afraid of anything, but tiny Serena, no longer than both his hands fingertip to fingertip, held the big man in a thral of terror.

  “She’s too fragile. I’l hurt her,” he protested as Korkla arranged his arms in a cradle position.

  “You’l do fine,” Govi assured him, carefuly placing Serena in his care. “See? Just handle her like you would a barbed kurble bal.” Raxstad’s eyes were wide as he held his daughter for the first time. As the seconds passed and she didn’t crumble to dust in his arms, he relaxed. A slow smile lit his face.

  “We’re fathers,” he said, his voice hushed in reverence. “I thought I’d not see this day.”

  His words brought pain lancing through Michaela’s joy. Her heart stuttered as the men crowded around the babe, gently stroking the sleepily blinking infant.

  Flencik waded into their midst, his muscled bulk eclipsing everyone around him. “Let’s get this precious little girl cleaned up.”

  “And then you might let me see her,” Jessica caled imperiously behind the curtain. “I think the incubator who carried her around for the last few months should get a moment to hold her too.” Laughter burst from al the men. No one noticed Michaela didn’t join in.

  * * * *

  Serena, perfectly healthy, went home with the clan the next night. Michaela commandeered the infant, giving her up to be held by her fathers grudgingly and for only a few minutes at the time.

  Serena never fussed when Michaela cradled her, giving the new mother extra confidence as she fed, diapered, and rocked the newborn. She examined every exquisite detail of her daughter, from the blue-black corkscrew curls on top of her tiny round head to the amazing miniature nails on the baby’s dainty toes. She’d never felt so right about anything in her life. Holding Serena gave her the peace she’d been so desperate for.

  The men hovered like moons orbiting the tiny infant. They fussed over Serena, and by extension, Michaela. It only seemed to underscore the neglect she’d suffered in the last few months, but she ignored that pain, choosing instead to hope the baby would heal the rift between them.

  At one point Govi gave her a long, searching look. “Have you lost weight, Michaela? You’re looking a little thin.” Feeling pathetic with happiness to be noticed and not wanting to say anything that might close her mates off again, Michaela smiled. “I’m fine. It’s just al the stress and excitement of waiting for Serena’s arrival.”

  Korkla grinned. “It’s a wondrous day, isn’t it my Matara? You’re positively glowing with joy.”

  “She’s everything I dreamed.” Michaela looked into the sweetly sleeping face of her daughter. Her daughter. “More than I dreamed, actualy.” Raxstad’s hand stroking her hair with the old tenderness made her heart swel. “There has never been a more perfect child,” he asserted.

  No one in the room refuted the statement.

  * * * *

  The weeks passed in a sleep-deprived blur for Michaela. Four days after Serena’s birth, the men returned to the hectic demands of their jobs. Michaela scarcely noticed the long hours they put in during this time, because she wrapped her life around the baby. She rose for every feeding, every diaper change, every little whimper Serena emitted. Though giddy from exhaustion, Michaela didn’t care. She loved tending to her tiny daughter, adored being the face hovering over when she opened her eyes, and walowed in the thril of rocking her to sleep in their special chair, made just like the one Michaela’s mother had rocked her in when she was smal.

  After seven weeks Serena finaly began to sleep the nights through, along with taking long naps during the day. After three days of catching up on her own rest, Michaela finaly looked outward from the little world she’d created for her and her daughter.

  She found things hadn’t changed between her and her mates.

  They continued to work from the moment they rose in the morning until returning late at night for a quick meal before faling exhausted into bed. Two transports ful of traumatized Mataras had arrived from Earth, and Govi’s team had their hands ful attending to them. Three more transports of shattered female Earth survivors were en route to land within the next few weeks.

  Michaela’s Imdiko wasn’t the only clan member being run ragged. The incidents of Earther female abductions were on the rise, sending Raxstad and the rest of Global Security scrambling to enact safeguards for Kalquor’s newest residents. Emperor Clajak kept Korkla hopping as the hands-on monarch juggled one crisis after another.

  They did snatch every opportunity to com several times a day, cooing at their daughter as Michaela held the infant up to the vid. At home, each man took turns holding Serena as they shoved meals down their throats before heading out the door or to bed. They shared a little of their days with Michaela and praised her for taking exemplary care of the baby. But once again, the Earther felt alone and forgotten by al but her child.

  She had a plan for that.

  “We haven’t gotten together as a clan for some time,” she informed the men at breakfast one morning. “I expect you home for dinner tonight at a reasonable time. I’l make something especialy nice, so no extra hours working today.”

  Govi sighed. “That would be good, but I’m meeting with the hospital administrators this afternoon, and that usualy runs long—”

  “I don’t care!” Michaela slammed her fist on the table top.

  Blue-purple eyes riveted on her as the men at long last gave her their ful attention. She felt the weight of their combined stares as they realy looked at her for the first time in forever. Even Serena, cradled in the crook of Korkla’s arm, goggled at her.

  It was Raxstad who asked, “Michaela, is something wrong?”

  With quiet firmness, she said, “I want you al home with me and Serena tonight. We wil have a nice meal together like a family should. I’l let you know later this afternoon as to when I expect you here.” After a brief second’s pause, Korkla answered, “Of course, my Matara. If it is important to you, it is important to us. We wil do what we must to be home at the appointed time.” A couple of tense knots eased in Michaela’s shoulders.

  After the men left, she got busy. She had House Service come in and clean the clan’s quarters as she and Serena went shopping. She bought the baby and herself new dresses, giggling to her daughter because neither of them needed more clothes. Their closets were already crammed ful. But Michaela had long been a take-charge person, and in her mind new clothing demonstrated a fresh start, a reclaiming of her strong character.

  No more sitting around being sad and lonely, she vowed. She may not have carried Serena, but by God, her egg had created her! Time for her men to recognize that and come to terms with the gift her body had given them.

  Once they were back in their sparkling clea
n quarters, Michaela put Serena down for her nap. She took a long, luxurious bath, a pleasure she’d denied herself for months.

  Enough of punishing myself for things I can’t help. It’s not my fault I was born male and female. It’s not my fault I can’t carry a baby to term. If I could help it, I would. High marks for intent, so there!

  Wel chastised and bathed, Michaela donned a long, whisper-soft robe and drifted out to the balcony that jutted out from the cliff in which her clan resided. When indoors, the beautifuly decorated suite of rooms resembled any high-end home she’d seen on Earth. Kalquorians managed to preserve the natural beauty of their home planet by living in the cliffs, mountains, and caves when possible. However, that didn’t mean a lack of luxury and state-of-the-art amenities.

  The balcony that lay outside the clan’s sleeping room had been beautifuly carved and polished from the cliff face until it shone like marble. It made Michaela think of fairytale castles rather than a seaside rock face. Not that she’d trade her home for something manmade. She loved the clan’s apartments, loved the view of the pink sand beach and emerald green ocean beyond the balcony. The crash of the waves almost drowned out the hushed whir of shuttle traffic overhead.

  Michaela leaned against the low wal of the balcony, inhaling the sea’s salty scent. She felt at peace for once. Things were going to be al right. Tonight would see things patched up with her clan, their love for her renewed. She vowed to make it happen.

  “I’m more than a malformed womb,” she whispered into the light breeze. “They just need to be reminded, that’s al.” Serena’s piping cry, emitted over the monitor Michaela kept strapped to her wrist, brought her indoors. She fed the baby and set her on a cushioned mat in the main room of the clan’s living quarters to practice roling over among soft toys.

  Michaela made a cal to the complex’s main kitchen. She ordered a huge meal, each of her mates’ favorite dishes. Once the scheduler confirmed the delivery time for dinner, Michaela commed each member of her clan. Not surprisingly none of them was available to take the cal, but she recorded messages, letting them know when she expected them home.