Splendor in Sanctuary [Sanctuary, Montana 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Jane Jamison

  He had her back on the horse before she had a chance to think. “Wait a minute. Does that mean we’re not staying? We’re not going to make love?”

  Will was on his horse and tugging at the reins to turn it back toward the cabin. “Like Josh said, first things first. I want to get the news out before you change your mind. After that, we won’t have to meet in that old shack any longer.”

  A feeling of sadness overtook her. “I know it’s not a great place, but I’m going to miss it. It’s where we got together. Promise me that you won’t let anyone ever tear it down.”

  Josh and Will exchanged a look that showed they thought she was being a sentimental girl, but she didn’t care. Will repositioned his hat lower on his forehead. “Sugar, we’ll have the place bronzed if it’ll make you happy. Come on, cuz, let’s get this show on the road.”

  The ride back was even faster. Once there, Josh and Will were so intent on getting her home that they practically shoved her into her car. They promised to meet her there as soon as they could, then spurred their horses toward the McLean family home.

  The drive home had never seemed longer, but she was still smiling when she pulled up to her home and rushed into the house. “Dad? Mom?”

  The silence that greeted her unnerved her. Her mother rarely went out during the late afternoon and evening hours. Had they had an event to go to? But then, wouldn’t they have mentioned it to her?

  She pulled her phone out of her purse and cringed when she saw that it had been set on silent mode. She’d already missed several calls. Her mother had phoned her five times while her brothers had each phoned her twice. She made sure her ringtone was as loud as it could go.

  She was just starting to read her messages when her cell phone rang. “Hello?”

  “Honey? It’s Mom.”

  Tatum knew at once that something horrible had happened. “What is it, Mom? Where are you?” She dragged in a hard-won breath.

  “Tatum, honey, it’s your dad.”

  Chapter Eight

  Tatum rushed into the lobby of the hospital, searched the people milling around, and saw her mother coming out of one of the elevators. “Mom!”

  Her mother opened her arms wide. “Honey, it’s going to be all right.”

  Tatum pulled her mother into a hug that she never wanted to stop. When she finally turned her mother loose, she could see that she’d been crying. “What happened? Why are you alone? Where is everyone?”

  Her mother took charge, leading her over to a waiting area and sitting down on one of the couches. Tatum joined her, but the longer her mother held back the news about her father, the worse she felt.

  “The rest of the family is in the cafeteria getting some coffee. I needed to be alone for a bit.” Her mother searched her. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you, but my calls went to your voice mail.”

  Guilt racked Tatum, but she didn’t have time to indulge in it. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I didn’t realize I had it on silent mode until I reached home. I came as fast as I could.”

  “What’s done is done.” Her mother slouched into the couch, suddenly looking ten years older. “Your father is in the intensive care unit.”

  A weight descended on her chest, threatening to crush her lungs. “What happened? Did he get hurt? Was he thrown from a horse?”

  “No, honey, nothing like that.” Her mother took out a tissue and dabbed away a tear. “He made me promise not to tell you. Honey, your father is ill.”

  “Ill? How? With what?” She dragged in a breath. “I knew he was hiding something from me. I just wished I’d pressed him for the truth.”

  She adored her father and had never given any thought that he could get sick. He was larger than life in her mind, and she’d childishly let herself believe that he’d always be around.

  Her mother took her hand and Tatum enclosed it between her two. “Honey, you were right. Your father hasn’t been feeling well. Once we had him checked out, we found out that he has prostate cancer.”

  “Cancer?” Tatum felt like she’d pass out. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “You know how your father feels about you. He wanted to spare you the worry.”

  She closed her eyes and let the irritation fade. “But I could’ve helped him. I could’ve done something, been there more. Damn it. I hate it when he treats me like his little girl.”

  “You’ll always be his little girl, Tatum. You might as well accept that.”

  Being the only daughter was a two-edged sword. She’d used the fact to get her way growing up, but at times, it came back to bite her. “I know. Still, he has to realize that I’m an adult. But that doesn’t matter right now. Tell me what happened.”

  “I finally talked him into seeing the doctor, and the doctor scheduled his surgery for tomorrow.” Her mother held up a hand to stop her. “I know, honey. He was going to call you, but we couldn’t reach you. Then this evening when we were taking him to get checked in for surgery early tomorrow morning, he said his chest hurt and that he had a shooting pain down his left arm.”

  “Oh, my God. You’re telling me Dad had a heart attack?”

  “Yes, he did.” Her mother’s voice broke, but she straightened up, swallowed, then continued. “Don’t you see? We were already headed to the hospital so we got here in time. He’s resting now. You can go up and see him soon.”

  “So that’s why he seemed out of sorts lately. He was getting ready for surgery and hiding it from me. I sensed something was wrong, but I never dreamed that he’d have cancer. And then to have a heart attack?” She clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms to keep from letting herself sob. “I should’ve insisted he tell me what was going on, but I figured it was something about the ranch. I never dreamed it was anything like this. If only I’d talked to him and made him tell me.”

  Instead, she’d gotten obsessed over Josh and Will. If she’d paid more attention to her father, if she’d made him tell her what was going on, maybe she could’ve gotten him to a doctor sooner, before the heart attack hit him.

  “Honey, don’t go blaming yourself. Everyone else feels the same way, especially me. I should’ve had him schedule the surgery sooner, but you know your father. He’d never admit that he wasn’t in tip-top form. ‘Mind over body’ is his mantra, you know that. But tonight…Well, in a strange way, I’m thankful he had the surgery scheduled for tomorrow.”

  Tatum fell back against the cushions, her strength ripped out of her. No matter what her mother said, she’d still feel guilty.

  If only I’d spent more time at home. Wasn’t that the point of living there? I should’ve taken more care to watch over him. I should’ve forced him to tell me what was wrong.

  “Stop it, Tatum Baldwin.”

  Tatum blinked. “Stop what?”

  “I can see it on your face. You’re blaming yourself.” Her mother patted her hand but with an extra firmness that brooked no argument. “Your father wouldn’t want you to do that.”

  “When can I see him?” Tatum’s gaze drifted from her mother to the pair of men standing just inside the entrance.

  Josh and Will.

  “Soon, honey. But let’s give him time to rest a bit, all right?” Her mother got to her feet and stood tall. “Until then, we pray for him and keep the faith. Now, would you like to join me and the others in the cafeteria?”

  “I guess.” Tatum forced her attention back on her mother. “But I’ve got to make a phone call first. I’ll meet you there, okay?” She scanned her mother from head to toe, perhaps for the first time, noting how gray her mother’s hair had gotten. When had she stopped coloring it? “Or do you need my help getting there?”

  Her mother wiped away a tear and laughed at the same time. “Pishposh, honey. Don’t go treating me like I’m about to keel over. You run along and make your call. I’ll see you in a bit.”

  Tatum hugged her mother again and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Her skin felt cooler than she remembered it. Her mother had always se
emed so vibrant, so filled with a warm glow. How much of a toll had her father’s health problems taken on her? Turning her mother loose was hard, but Belinda Baldwin wouldn’t have stood for anyone worrying over her.

  She watched, phone in her hand, as her mother entered an elevator. She lifted her hand to return the small wave her mother gave and waited until the elevator doors had closed. Whirling, she hurried toward the McLean men.

  Their concerned expressions told her that they’d already heard about her father. She took them both by an arm and pulled them outside. “What are you doing here? Do you want my family to see you?”

  Josh tried to take her into his arms, but she wasn’t in the mood. “We’re here for you, Tatum. We heard about your father—you know how fast news travels in this town—and we wanted to be here for you.”

  Probably half of the town had heard before she had. But that was her fault for having her phone on silent mode. And for being too engrossed in her own life to pay more attention to her father. Guilt, brutal and cutting, swept through her. “I appreciate that, and under different circumstances, I’d lean on you for support.”

  “Different circumstances as in men who aren’t McLeans?” Will didn’t appear angry as he slid a comforting hand down her back.

  “Exactly.” She ran a hand through her hair and looked around her at the people coming and going. “I know we were planning on telling everyone, but we can’t do that now.”

  “Of course not. At least not until your father gets better.” Alarm filtered into Josh’s eyes. “He’s going to get better. You know that, right?”

  “Of course he will. But he doesn’t need anything upsetting him. And that includes telling him about us.” She smiled as a woman she recognized passed by. “Now will you clear out of here before someone spots us together?”

  “Whatever you want, sugar. But we will tell him soon. When the doc says he’s doing better.” Will held her by the arms then dropped his hold on her when she glared at him. “We can give him a couple of days and then ease him into the idea. How’s that?”

  “A couple of days?” She shook her head and stepped away. The pain on their faces tore at her heart, but she had to think about her family and her father first. “I don’t know if we can ever tell him.”

  “Damn, Tatum. I’m so sorry.” Will locked his hands behind his head. “We’re being selfish and unfeeling. Forget we said anything about telling him.”

  “Yeah, Will’s right. I feel like a heel.” Josh gritted his teeth. “If there’s anything we can do for you, all you have to do is say the word.”

  A sob broke free as her vision clouded with tears. “We have to forget everything. I can’t run the risk of telling him and having him have a relapse.”

  “What are you saying, Tatum?” Josh glanced at Will for help, but found none.

  Her chest hurt as though she were having a heart attack, too. In a way, she was. “Josh, Will, I don’t think I can see you any longer. I can’t do that to my father.”

  They tried to reach for her, tried to stop her, but she spun around and fled back into the hospital. They called after her, but she wouldn’t, couldn’t stop. Instead, she headed toward the elevators. Once inside, she looked back toward the entrance and saw Josh and Will, their faces masks of torment, staring at her.

  She ducked her head, unable to stand to see them that way. “Could someone please press the button for the cafeteria?”

  * * * *

  “I told you I’d get Tatum to come.”

  Will tossed another log onto the fire. “Don’t get too cocky, Josh. She hasn’t shown up yet. And she may not since her father’s still in the hospital.”

  “Naw, she’ll come. She has to. I know she didn’t really mean what she said. If we have to give her more time, then we will. But we’re not letting her go.”

  “From your mouth to her ears, cousin.” Will turned toward the sound of a car pulling up to the shack. “Tell me that’s her.”

  Josh flashed a huge grin. “Yep, it’s her.”

  Josh strode to the door and opened it, heedless of the swirl of snow billowing inside to float down to the wooden floor. The weather had grown bleaker in the hour since they’d gotten to the cabin, but they would’ve gone through a blizzard to see her.

  She hurried through the door, brushing off Josh’s attempt to tell her how sexy she looked. Once by the fireplace, she turned to face them. “I know what you’ve got planned.”

  “You do?” Will didn’t make a move toward her. She was like a doe that had just crossed paths with a hunter and frozen in place. She’d bolt at any second if he wasn’t careful.

  Her green eyes sparkled, but that’s where the happiness ended. She didn’t smile and her face looked sadder than he’d ever seen it. “Of course I do. You want to convince me that we should be together.”

  “Damn straight, darlin’.”

  Will shook his head at Josh, telling him to give her space. They had to ease into talking her into changing her mind. “You know we’re meant to be together, don’t you?”

  “Yes.” But her first answer was squashed by her next words. “But not at the expense of my father’s health.”

  “Word has it that he’s doing better.”

  The bleak look on her face broke apart. “Word has it? You mean all the gossipers in town? Which, of course, means a great deal more than what any doctor might say.”

  Worry clenched his gut. “Are you saying the rumors are wrong?”

  “This time they’ve got their story straight. He’s out of ICU and in a regular room now. Thankfully, it wasn’t as bad as we’d thought at first. What did they call it? A mild cardiac episode. As though that makes it any less scary to me. They’re keeping him for observation, but he should get to go home soon.”

  Josh crossed to the table and picked up one of three bottles of wine. He poured a glass then silently offered her a drink. She refused at first, then took it. “And what about the cancer surgery?”

  “That’s been postponed a while until they’re sure he’s strong enough. But you know my father. He’ll be back at the ranch and riding horses as soon as he can break out of that place. ‘Come hell, high water, or McLeans,’ as he always says.”

  Josh passed around the glasses then lifted his in a toast. “This may be the first one of its kind coming from a McLean, but I say we toast to Joseph Baldwin. May he live long enough for his grandkids to pester him to buy their first quarter horses.”

  Will had to give it to his cousin. Sometimes Josh knew exactly the right thing to say. “Here’s to Joseph Baldwin for giving us the woman of our dreams.”

  She paused, the goblet at her lips, then lifted her glass in salute. “To my father.” She gave them a determined look. “And to keeping him alive and healthy, no matter what it costs me.”

  “No matter what it costs us, you mean. We only want the best for you and yours.” Will took a sip then put the glass down before striding toward her. “We heard what you said at the hospital and we’ll respect your wishes, if push comes to shove. But we can’t let you break it off. We love you too much to let you go and I know you love us just as much. Or have you changed your mind about that? About us?”

  “I have changed my mind. I don’t love you. It was an infatuation that has run its course, a chance to play out my high school fantasy. That’s all.” But she couldn’t look him in the eye.

  “Bullshit. What Will said is true. Tell us you don’t love us and make us believe it. If you can, we’ll never bother you again. Can you do that, Tatum?”

  Will wasn’t sure he would’ve had the nerve to ask what Josh had, but he was glad he had. They had to get things straightened out. If she didn’t want them badly enough to tell her family, even with her father’s illness, then maybe they weren’t worth saving.

  She brought her head up and tears filled her eyes. “I can’t do that. I love you more than I ever thought possible.”

  Will was by her side in the next moment, taking her coat from her, then pulli
ng her into his arms. “Then don’t give up on us. If we have to keep us a secret for one year or forever, then we’ll do it. What we won’t do is lose you.”

  She sobbed, breaking Will’s heart with her pain. “I can’t ask you to do that. It’s not right for me and not for you, either. We need to have families and have children. If I hold you back from having that with someone else, I’d never forgive myself.”

  “It’s not your choice alone to make.” Josh slugged back his wine. “We don’t want someone else. We can’t ever love anyone the way we love you, so why even try? Don’t you get it, Tatum? It’s you or nothing.”

  “But we’ll never keep it a secret for long.” She wiped away a tear. “I’m surprised we haven’t already been found out.”

  “Then when it happens, we’ll deal with it. By then, your father will be well and he’ll be able to handle the news.”

  “You don’t know that, Will.” She crossed her arms in front of her as though trying to protect her heart.

  “No, I don’t. None of us knows the future. That’s why we have to make the most of the here and now. Whatever it takes, we’re your men and you’re stuck with us. Get used to it.” He’d added the last, hoping to coax a smile from her, but his attempt failed.

  Josh came closer. “He’s right, darlin’. We’ll do whatever it takes to keep you. Come on. Let’s table this decision for now and try out that air mattress.” He winked and shot her a cocky grin. “I know you want to.”

  As usual, Josh got her to laugh. Will took her hand, drew her over to the mattress in front of the fireplace, then bent to give her a kiss.

  They tried to disrobe her, but she resisted. Every time she’d complain, tried to say she had to leave, they quelled her words with soft kisses. Even if they couldn’t get her to relax enough to take off her clothes, at least they’d replace the worry in her eyes with desire.

  * * * *

  The three of them went to their knees with Tatum in the middle as the fire blazed in the fireplace. She’d never felt so safe or so right in all her life. But the night was getting long and she needed to get back into town.