Backroom Confessions

by Rose Jackson-Beavers

  She hoped that Jerickca would never find out that she was going to be terminated from her previous position for talking down to clients, so she quickly accepted the lay-off before anyone could say they fired her. She figured out how to sneak around, listen to management, and find out what was going on by turning the volume down low and pushing on the speaker button on her phone. Other employees never knew that she was listening to their conversation until someone would ask management if something that Megan told them was true. She could have lost her job many times, but she made it clear that she would never go down by herself. Megan was thinking back to other situations when she heard Ms. Parker’s voice.

  “Then I shall see you next week.” Jerickca extended her hand to Megan and gave her a firm handshake. She had good vibes about Megan. Although she was a little overdressed for the position, she didn’t come across as snooty. She thought Megan was rather pleasant and demonstrated a great personality, which would be important to clients having a hard time with problems.

  Jerickca couldn’t wait for the group interview. The real test of how these applicants would respond to others would be more visible, and this was extremely important to the program’s success. That would be the time to identify problems while monitoring how the applicants supported each other. Jerickca would watch to see who would be team players and who would try to make others look bad so that they could come across as the best person for the job. Jerickca wasn’t looking for a show-off or someone who would be selfish. She wanted to see potential workers supporting each other, laughing together, and getting along, because she needed staff who could work together to achieve common goals in some of the worst environments in the metropolitan community.

  Jerickca went back to her office to complete her paper work on Megan. She was sure that Megan would make it through the next step. She received more points on the criteria for location and experience on the rating scale, which made her points higher than everyone interviewed so far.

  After meeting with an applicant by the name of Kevin Danners, Jerickca did not invite him to the group interview. She was not impressed. He did not have any social work experience and had only completed an internship at the East St. Louis Housing Authority as an aid to the Activity Director. She needed someone who had field experience. Although he seemed to be a nice person, he was not the right person for this job.

  Jerickca had met with ten applicants and so far, she was impressed with only Denver and Megan. She had two interviews left. Tomorrow, she would meet with Phoenix Harrington and McNary McAfee. She couldn’t wait until the interviews were over so that she could recommend her selections to the Personnel Director, who would then do the necessary background checks and other pertinent paper work to qualify them for the jobs. Now, all she looked forward to was seeing her husband and her daughter and getting a good night’s sleep.

  When Jerickca pulled her car into the garage, she could smell the chicken her husband was frying. He was a husband who not only contributed to his family financially, but also supported her work by helping with their only child, Daphnie. Most of the time, he would begin dinner since Jerickca didn’t get home until 6:30 p.m. They both agreed early in their marriage that whoever made it home first would start dinner. It had been a good system, because in the beginning it was Jerickca who did all the cooking and cleaning. Her husband was definitely important in her climb up the ladder to management. If it had not been for his support, she would never have made it to the top in her field, because she had to put in long hours.

  She opened the garage door and pushed the garage keypad to let the door down.

  “Hi honey,” she said. He nodded his head. Jerickca thought, He has one flaw: he seldom talks. “Where is Daphnie?”

  There was no response from him. It bothered her that she could never talk to her husband about their day, but she learned to just let the sadness roll off and kept going. Actually, they barely ever talked. He didn’t seem mad or anything, but Jerickca knew when to leave him alone. She went upstairs, calling Daphnie. Once upstairs, she found her daughter sleeping and bent down to kiss her cheek. Daphnie turned over and said, “Hi Mom.”

  Jerickca loved this child and had been accused by a lot of people of letting her get away with too much. But to her, Daphnie was an only child, and she knew her limits.

  “Hi, baby. Did you have a good day at school?”

  “It was okay,” Daphnie said as she swung her legs over the side of the bed to get up. “I have math and English for homework,” she frowned.

  “Well, go down to the kitchen table and get started. I will come down to help you with the math when I finish changing into something more comfortable,” Jerickca said as she took off her jacket.

  “Mom, can I please study at my desk today?” moaned Daphnie.

  “No, you have too many distractions in your room. You would try to sneak and look at television or something, so just go to the kitchen.” Jerickca could not let Daphnie study in her room, because she had tried to trust Daphnie on too many occasions and returned later to find her watching television or listening to music with her earphones. She wanted Daphnie to put learning first, but Daphnie had other plans like singing or modeling.

  Jerickca changed into a knitted, sleeveless yellow dress, and her black comfortable house shoes. She walked into the kitchen to help Anthony with dinner. As she prepared everyone’s plate, they all settled down to eat. During the entire meal, Anthony and Jerickca never discussed anything. This was not unusual to either Jerickca or Daphnie, because they both knew that Anthony never really talked unless there was something he needed to say. Although Jerickca accepted his shy persona, she was getting older and needed more stimulation. After all, at work she was well respected, but at home she felt invisible.

  After dinner, Jerickca told Daphnie to finish her homework. Daphnie still hadn’t found her independence and expected Jerickca to sit at the table with her until she completed her work. This frustrated Jerickca even more, because she never felt like she was off from work. It was beginning to drain her of all her energy to come home and still have to motivate and encourage her family to complete tasks.

  Once Daphnie’s homework had been checked and corrected, they prepared for the next day by getting their clothes ready. Jerickca and Anthony decided to go to bed early.

  The next morning, when Jerickca felt the bed move, she knew that Anthony was responding to his 5:00 a.m. alarm. She heard the sounds of an old school tune, “Whip Appeal,” sung by Babyface. She hummed along with the song, and after it ended, she quickly fell back to sleep. When she awoke again, it was because of Anthony’s 6:30 call to wake her up. Usually this would be the time they discussed issues that needed to be addressed. It was weird the way they communicated. Jerickca never could understand why Anthony talked more to her when he was away from home than when they were together.

  “Jerickca, I noticed that you spent over your monthly expense limit. What did you need to buy that couldn’t wait? I don’t understand you. We could have much more money in the bank if you would just stop this unnecessary spending,” Anthony said.

  “How much more money do we need, Anthony? We have a large portfolio and other securities. We already have enough to retire on three times each,” Jerickca said with her voice beginning to rise from anger. “I just don’t have time for this right now. We’ll talk this evening.”

  “I don’t care what we have and I’m finished talking,” Anthony whispered as if someone had stepped into his office.

  “I’ll see you this evening,” she said.

  Anthony hung up the phone without saying goodbye. Jerickca knew that all she had to do was call him at work and tell him that she loved him and would try to stop spending so much money and he would be okay until next week. It had become a weekly ritual for Anthony to check the balances of the credit cards to know in advance how much money he would have to pay that month to avoid monthly finance charges. He always paid the entire credit balances, never wanting to owe anyone a dime or p
ay interest rates.

  After twisting her micro braids into a French roll and pinning them tight, Jerickca looked through the closet and pulled out a navy blue suit by Preston and York. This was one of her favorite suits, because this designer always had petite clothing. Although she wore a size sixteen, she wore petite clothing because she had short arms and legs. She searched her closet, where she found and put on a cream silk camisole. Finally, she pulled out her navy blue leather pumps and slid her feet into them. Once she had completed her outfit with a small, thin string of pearls, she was ready to go to work and finish her interviews so she could concentrate on training and implementing the new program.

  Today was going to be a power day for her. She checked to make sure that all the lights were out while briefly retracing her steps through the house. She walked through four bedrooms, three full bathrooms, and a laundry room. She then walked through her master bedroom suite, which contained a fireplace, coffered ceiling, two large walk-in closets, and a luxurious private bathroom with a whirlpool and a separate shower. Her home even had a terrific recreation room with built-in bookshelves and can lighting. Jerickca walked down the eighteen-step flight of stairs to the first level. On this level, she walked down the hall, crossed the marble-floored entry, and passed through the living room to her elegant dining room. She finally went into the dining room, crossed the hardwood floor with its gorgeous moldings, and went into her family room to turn off the lights.

  Occasionally, Anthony would miss turning off a light in the living room or dining room on his way out to the garage prior to his leaving in the morning. Since Anthony arrived home before dark most days, they never left any lights on in the house. Jerickca walked through the dining room into the kitchen. She set her purse down on the kitchen table. This was one of her favorite places in her whole house. She glanced around and admired her updated eat-in kitchen with its off-white walls, quality cabinetry, Corian counters, double ovens with the gas cook-top, built-in microwave, and walk-in pantry. She had personally decorated this room with a touch of country. Anthony had bordered the walls in beautiful wallpaper accentuated with beautiful white and blue ducks walking through a field of daisies. Jerickca was lucky to have found a beautiful oil painting of ducks looking through a white wooden country fence. It was a perfect match for the ducks on the wallpaper. Her kitchen table, which she kept dressed for guests and comfortably seated eight people, was made of oak wood.

  On the table was a stunning centerpiece made with a variety of silk and dried flowers. Far in the corner was a Hewlett computer and matching oak stand that Daphnie used most of the time when she could get Anthony off the Internet. Her home was her private fantasy, which she rarely invited others to enter.

  Jerickca walked to the kitchen sink and reached for her medication. She took Vitamin B-12, a water pill, Vitamin D, and Paxil, which helped to control her panic attacks. This had become a daily routine. Sometimes, she would eliminate the water pill, especially when she had to leave the building. Jerickca would never take any medication that would cause her to use someone else’s bathroom, because that was so unhealthy to her. That’s why she occasionally omitted the water pill.

  After taking her medication, Jerickca reached into the refrigerator to get her lunch. Finally, she was ready to go. She grabbed her dark Coach brief case and her purse. She opened the kitchen door that led to the garage and decided to drive her black Lexus sedan. She was always the last to leave the house. Daphnie usually left thirty minutes earlier to take the school bus. Using the remote, she opened the garage door and set the house alarm that was located on the inside wall.

  After putting everything into the trunk, Jerickca was ready to go. She got into the car, turned on the radio, and searched the stations for some music. She decided to leave the station on 104.9 to hear Stacey Static’s entertainment minute.

  She enjoyed listening to the Breakfast Crew, which consisted of long time disc jockeys Tony Scott, Stacey, and Tossing Ted. They had the best station of all in metropolitan St. Louis, but mostly she enjoyed the friendly bantering of the jocks. They seemed to keep abreast of the people in the know. After listening for a while to the Breakfast Crew, Jerickca slid in her disc of the new gospel group, Mary Mary. This group was sensational and young, but they had the spirit to sing, and sing is what they did.

  Jerickca searched and pushed number 5 and listened to “Can’t Give Up Now.” This song always seemed to mellow her before she got to work. Every morning, she made absolutely sure this song was played. Without it, she most certainly would have a bad day.

  Turning on to highway I-70, she played the song four times before getting to work. She sang with deep emotions, and sometimes she could feel the spirit so strongly she would pull on the parking lot to her office in tears, happy because God had been so good to her. On a good day, her daily trip to the office took approximately thirty minutes. This was when it wasn’t snowing. It was another story when snowflakes hit the ground in the Midwest. People went crazy, having accidents and sliding all over the place. Most of them acted as if they had never seen snow and lost their minds, as if they didn’t know what to do when all the fluffy, white snow fell gently on their cars and roads. Jerickca hated the snow.

  She had experienced two major accidents because of someone else. Once she was left in a ditch at the side of the road until a Good Samaritan happened by and pulled out both her and her car. The second time, she was in an accident in which another driver lost control and ran into her head-on. She hit her head hard on the steering wheel. After that accident, she had a bad attitude toward other drivers. She basically did not trust most of them. She watched how they behaved whenever the roads became wet with rain, sleet, or snow.

  Once she arrived at the office, she got out of the car and opened the trunk to get her briefcase. She hit the button on her key chain to activate the alarm on her car. Walking toward the building, she spoke to several workers. Kelvin, the janitor, opened the door and gave her a pleasant “Hello.” She responded with her own pleasant greeting.

  As she took out her keys to open her office door, Candy, the receptionist, handed her messages from the previous workday. They briefly spoke before getting started for the day. Once settled in her office, Jerickca picked up the phone and dialed her secretary, Karen, at extension 2001. She informed Karen, that her interviews for the day would begin at 9:00 a.m. She then unpacked her briefcase and made files on the last two candidates for the positions.

  At 8:45 a.m., her first interview for the day walked in. She heard voices and feet shuffling around. When she heard several women giggling, she walked toward the front to see what was going on. As she neared the front door, she saw Candy, Karen, and a childcare worker standing around a young man. When the daycare worker and Candy saw Jerickca, they immediately scattered. Karen turned to let Jerickca know that her nine o’clock interview had arrived. Jerickca looked at him, and he introduced himself to her as McNary McAfee. She asked him to complete the application in the conference room and said she would return shortly. She then told Karen to assist Mr. McAfee and to inform her the minute he had completed the application.

  As Jerickca turned to walk back to her office, she said, “Karen, I would appreciate it if you would continue to be professional at all times when we have guests in the office.”

  Karen responded, “Sorry. He was so fine. I just got carried away.”

  “Make sure that it doesn’t happen again,” Jerickca said with a smile.

  Karen felt somewhat bad, because it wasn’t often that she behaved in that manner. But that boy was so fine, she thought. Karen couldn’t wait to check on McNary McAfee. He was a breath of fresh air to her right now, especially since she was on the outs with her latest friend. Just maybe he wasn’t married and she could try to get with him. Mmhhh! He looks good enough to eat, she thought.

  Chapter 12

  McNary felt uncomfortable receiving so much attention on a day when he was trying to impress management with his skills. He was very serious a
bout his career and didn’t appreciate how those women had gloated and surrounded him. Although he could clearly see how gorgeous each of them was, the last thing he would ever do is sleep where he made his bread again. He had decided that was a serious taboo and he wouldn’t allow any woman—redbone, thick in the waist, long bouncy hair, big legs and butt, pretty as Halle Berry or fine as Angela Bassett (all attributes that he loved)—to sway him from getting this job. He had done that before and said he would never do something that stupid again.

  He couldn’t believe how they almost attacked him. All they had to do was throw him on the floor and take him. They were that close to his manhood, breathing in his ear and gently touching his arm. If Ms. Parker hadn’t walked up the hall when she did, he wasn’t sure what would have happened. He couldn’t believe it. Ms. Parker was young, a little on the plump side, which he found attractive, and well dressed. He preferred his women thick with a little meat on their bones, but what he found most attractive was her position of authority. He saw the way all the staff jetted back to their workstations when she appeared. This intrigued him. He loved women who were well bred and educated. He could easily see that she was like a bear with a baby cub touch. This, in his opinion, simply meant that Jerickca was a woman who could make a decision without hesitation, and ruled with a light touch, yet he thought she would be gentle in bed. She was indeed one good-looking woman, and he couldn’t wait to impress her with his skills.

  Jerickca felt an uncontrollable anger within herself the moment she walked into the hall and saw those women surrounding Mr. McAfee. She wasn’t sure at first who he was, but she remembered that she had a 9:00 a.m. appointment with a young man. She was about to lose control with her secretary and the receptionist because they knew what her expectations were. How dare they act like heathens on the job! she thought. Her employees knew that she was a professional who expected the best out of them. So when she saw them huddled around Mr. McAfee, she immediately had to count to ten. She had learned that technique from her friend, Dr. Spencer DeAndre, one of the top mental health professionals in the country.