Back to Yesterday

by Pamela Sparkman

  “No. I’ll pick you up properly. That’s non-negotiable.”

  She huffed. “Fine, whatever.” She wrote her address on the back of an order ticket, tore it off, and handed it to me. Then, without another word she marched off like she had done battle with the devil and came out on the losing side, only she wasn’t mad. When she rounded the corner to walk into the kitchen, she was smiling.

  I flipped over the ticket to read the address and then laughed out loud. She wrote…You’re right, I never lose. I’ll meet you at the park at one o’clock. Bring fried chicken.

  We stood there staring at the plane, Levi and I, like it was a foreign object, both of us trying to figure out the best way to use the block and tackle to our advantage.

  Maikel approached us, massaging his chin, mimicking his father. “So what are we looking at?” he asked.

  “We need to figure out the best way to hoist the plane so we can remove the propellers, and fix the damaged fuel line,” Levi explained. “There’s a way to do this, we just need to think.”

  “I take it you’ve not lifted many planes before,” I joked.

  Levi emitted a low, deep chuckle. “This will be the first. Mules, hay bales, and farming equipment are about the extent of my expertise. I was sort of hoping the guy who flew planes would have some ideas.”

  “You would think, wouldn’t you?” I took a seat underneath a nearby tree to think it all through.

  Maikel came and sat down beside me. “Does anybody know where you are?”

  I brought my knees up and rested my forearms against them. “No.”

  “Will they think you’re dead?”

  I tended to think better when my hands were busy, so I picked up a stick and began making shapes in the dirt, still contemplating a plan while answering the kid’s question. “Not yet. All they know for sure is that I didn’t come back from my mission.”

  It was still daylight, although it would be getting dark soon. I looked up into the sky and wondered what Sophie was doing that very minute. It would still be early in the day back home. She was most likely serving breakfast to her regulars. I would give anything if I could be back there again, sitting in a booth, watching her work.

  My gaze wandered over towards the barn. I saw a hay bale shoot at the very top. “Hey, Levi, you use a ramp to slide bales of hay from there, right?”

  Levi followed my line of sight. “I do. Why?”

  “We could build a ramp.” I paused, mulling the idea over. “We could reinforce it, make it good and sturdy, oil it down, making it slick, and put it in front of the nose. Then tie the rope to the propeller hub. We could use the mules to pull the plane forward up the ramp by the ropes in conjunction with the block and tackle and ease the nose inch by inch up the ramp. You and I would have to hold the wing tips to keep the plane from tipping over as the mules eased her up. We could then place the timbers under each wing for support while I climb inside and lower the emergency lever to release the landing gear. Then once the wheels are down and secured, we could take her off the ramp because we wouldn’t need it anymore.” I stood, pleased with myself, and smiled. “What do you think?”

  Levi stared at me, unblinking.

  I laughed. “Well?”

  After a minute, he said, “I was going to say that. I just needed more time to think it all through.” He grinned and looked at his son. “Come on boy, we have a ramp to build.”

  We worked until nightfall. When that monumental moment happened when I climbed into the cockpit, pulled the emergency lever, and her legs came down, we shouted in celebration. We had succeeded in a task that seemed nearly impossible, yet we had not given up. We all felt it – that sense of pride. In that moment, nothing seemed impossible. I needed that and I was thankful for it.

  Levi invited me into his home for dinner. We ate a modest meal of potatoes, beans, and bread. When I caught the first whiff of hot food I immediately thought about Sophie, and me sitting in my usual spot at the café, watching her carry plates of food to her customers. You never know why a memory assaults you, but I welcomed those memories whenever they would strike because she felt like home, and I missed home. I missed her.

  Later, I took a bath and Levi offered me some clothes of his to wear. They fit well enough and I was thankful to have them. Maikel went to bed and Levi and I stayed up a while longer talking about the war and what it was doing to his country. Even though I was missing home, missing Sophie, and clinging to the hope of seeing her again, I couldn’t be sorry for being where I was. These people needed help. The whole world was in despair and in need of saving. I was only one person; however, I could sleep at night knowing I was doing something to help restore peace.

  “As much as I miss my wife,” Levi said, “I’m relieved that she’s not here to see what is happening in this world. I don’t think I could stand to see the pain it would cause her. She had a beautiful soul.”

  I understood his sentiment. “How did she die?”

  “She died giving birth to Maikel,” he said quietly. “She made me promise that I would love him enough for both of us.” Lowering his eyes to the floor he said, “Every morning when I wake up I vow to keep that promise.”

  “Maikel is a fine boy. You’ve done well, my friend.”

  Levi said nothing for a while, contemplating, I think, and then he looked at me. “So tell me, Charles. Do you have someone special back home?”

  I still wasn’t ready to share Sophie. I felt like God put her on this Earth for me alone. Maybe that was selfish of me, but part of me needed to be selfish.

  Levi smiled and sensing I wasn’t going to answer, he simply said, “When you’re ready, you can tell me about her.” He patted me on the shoulder. “I’m going to bed. The spare bedroom is ready for you. We don’t have much, but what we have is yours while you’re here.”

  “Thank you, Levi. I don’t know what I would have done if–”

  “Don’t thank me. Just do what you do, and help win this damn war.” With that, he turned out the light.

  I instantly felt lonely, and for the first time, I felt the need to talk about her. “Levi?”

  “Yes?”

  “If you don’t mind staying up a little longer, I would like to tell you about mine and Sophie’s first date.”

  Levi turned the light back on and settled across from me. He encouraged me to start with a nod.

  “First dates are awkward enough. But throw in a one-legged idiot (me) and you got yourself a disaster of epic proportions.” I laughed. “For starters, I struggled to set up our picnic. With the use of only one leg, the other being in a cast, I can only imagine how ridiculous I must have looked trying to smooth out a blanket. Tank wasn’t any help. Well, I take that back. He did carry the picnic basket for me…”

  “I’m happy to amuse you,” I said, using one crutch to spread out the corners. “You could help me you know.”

  “Nah, this is more fun.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, something yellow caught my attention, and I thought I saw Sophie standing at the entrance to the park. When I looked again she wasn’t there. “Where do you want me to put this stuff?” Tank asked. He was my best friend’s brother and I sort of thought of him as my brother too. He was older by two years and was currently serving his third year in the Army. He wasn’t in the Air Corp like I was, though. He was a soldier, and a damned good one. He would be going back to the front lines soon, and I hated it for his mom. She had already lost one son. Surely God wouldn’t see fit to take another. That’s what I told myself anyway.

  “Right here is fine,” I said, pointing to a spot on the now smoothed out blanket. “Thanks for carrying the food. I guess I didn’t think this through all the way when I suggested a picnic.”

  “What…like how you were going to walk on crutches and carry a picnic basket at the same time?”

  “Blow it out your barracks bag,” I mumbled.

  Unfazed, he said, “I gotta meet the dame who’s got you jumping through hoops to impress her.”


  “I hope you’re already gone by the time she gets here,” I said. “I want her to like me. You’ll make her run the other way.”

  “Oh please. Women love me.”

  I looked around at the nearly empty park. “Oh yeah, they’re lining up.”

  “Funny…I don’t see your woman yet.”

  “She’ll be here.” I sat down, stretching my casted leg out in front of me, needing to rest a bit.

  Tank sat down beside me. “What’s so special about this girl?”

  The corners of my lips curved up. I couldn’t help it. It was the most natural thing in the world to do when I thought about Sophie. “She’s different,” I said.

  “Different how?”

  “I don’t know. She’s…”

  “She’s what?” a soft voice asked behind us.

  Tank and I both turned around, and there she was, holding a pie. Her cream colored dress was simple in style, tubular and slim, with a yellow belt cinched at the waist, and matching cream colored gloves. Her hair was in some sort of up-do with neat little curls on top, complete with a yellow ribbon tied into a bow. Her red, red lips whispered a smile. She was radiant.

  Stepping forward she said, “Were you talking about me?”

  The yellow bow told me that I had been right. She had been standing at the entrance. She must have been watching me the whole time while I struggled to set everything up. Always thinking she was being sneaky.

  Feeling playful I said, “Not yet. I was about to, though. You interrupted before I could answer.”

  Tank approached her with a smile, holding out his hand. “I’m Tank Cassidy, Ma’am. Pleased to meet you.”

  “Sorry,” Sophie said apologetically, lifting the pie with both hands. “My hands are full.” She said with a grin, like it should have been obvious.

  Tank shifted on his feet while looking down, embarrassed. “Right. Well, I should be going. You two have a picnic to get to so…”

  “Don’t run off,” Sophie said. “Please, finish your conversation.” She looked at me, amused I think. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  Perhaps she thought she would embarrass me, so I wanted to play along. “Okay, have a seat.” I reached for the pie and placed it beside the basket. “For the next few minutes we’ll pretend you’re not here.”

  “We will?” Tank asked.

  “Absolutely. You heard the lady. She wants us to continue our conversation. So, ask me your question again.”

  Tank cleared his throat, hesitating before saying, “I, uh, asked you what was so special about her.”

  “Ah, that’s right.” I snapped my fingers. “Excellent question. Now, let’s see.” I pretended to really put some thought into my answer, drawing it out as long as possible, until I…drew a blank. For real, not pretend. And not because I couldn’t think of anything special about her, but because I realized I didn’t want her to know how special I thought she was. Not yet.

  The seconds ticked into minutes. No one said a word. It had gone so differently in my head. I was supposed to say something witty and charming, and with any luck, Sophie was supposed to blush or whatever girls do when guys say nice things about them, and I was going to be one step closer to winning her over. That wasn’t what happened at all. I had embarrassed her. I know because when I forced myself to look up at her, she had lost the sparkle she had when she’d first arrived. Her eyes were downcast. I had hurt her feelings.

  She began nodding like she was giving herself a pep talk or memorizing a speech. “It’s okay. I know I’m not that special.” She tried to offer up a laugh, play it off like it was no big deal. “Tank, I hope you like apple pie,” she said. “I would like for you to stay and have some.” Her eyes drifted to mine, then quickly looked away and began scooping out the precut slices. “Charles, would you like a piece?”

  It didn’t go unnoticed that she had called me Charles instead of Charlie.

  “Sophie,” I pleaded.

  “Hmm?” she asked, placing a slice of pie on a napkin and handing it to Tank. She was avoiding eye contact and I couldn’t blame her.

  I wanted to explain, to tell her that, since meeting her, my heart was in jeopardy of ruin, and she could be the one to ruin me. I wanted to tell her that when she plowed into me that day in the diner that she had leveled me in more ways than one. I wanted to tell her all of that, yet I couldn’t tell her any of it. I needed more time to ease her into it. So I said nothing and answered unenthusiastically, “Apple pie would be great.”

  We ate our pie like you would eat pizza because I hadn’t remembered forks. If it hadn’t been for the loud silence hanging in the air between us, it would have been fun. Comical, even.

  Eventually, Tank stood and offered his hand again to Sophie. This time she accepted his handshake and politely smiled.

  “It was nice meeting you,” Tank said.

  “Likewise.”

  I could see that Tank was relieved to be leaving. I had made everyone uncomfortable, even myself. You would think that a date going this terribly wrong couldn’t get any worse. Not so. It got exceptionally worse because I had gotten stung by a bee – on my ass of all places.

  Turns out, I was allergic to bees.

  I awoke with a lump in my throat, a pain in my chest, and brown eyes staring down at me. I didn’t want brown eyes staring at me. I wanted blue ones. I needed the ocean. I must have said as much because the brown eyes blinked with confusion.

  “What are you talking about?” The brown eyes were now attached to a face and that face belonged to Tank.

  Why was I looking at Tank?

  “The ocean,” I mumbled. My tongue was thick and forming words seemed like an incredible feat. I had to try though because the pain in my chest was heavy. All I remembered was that I had hurt Sophie’s feelings. This was what guilt felt like and the only way to fix it was to form the words I should have said when I had the opportunity. “I n-need the ocean.”

  “I don’t know what the doctor gave you, man, but you’re not making any sense.”

  “L-listen to me. I need to answer your question.” The words were becoming easier to form. “Sophie…when she looks at me, her eyes pull me under, makes me feel like I’m lost at sea. I’m disoriented.”

  “No fooling,” Tank said. “You’re definitely disoriented.”

  I heard soft laughter all around me. I ignored it. “Roll up your flap and listen.” I needed to get the words out. My head was foggy and I still wasn’t sure why Tank was there when I knew I saw him leave. I didn’t care why he was there. I couldn’t mess this up again.

  “When she smiles, I feel like I can fly. I can’t fly because I busted up my leg and all I want to do is fly again.” The soft laughter died down and I knew I finally had his attention. “So when she smiles at me, Tank, she makes me fly.” I swallowed, wishing I could have a do-over. “That’s why she’s special…why she’s different.”

  I couldn’t keep my eyes open. “She makes me fly,” I mumbled.

  “Okay, buddy. I’m glad you told me. Get some rest now.”

  Tank’s face was fading in and out. I was struggling to stay awake. And then I saw her. Blue irises were looking right at me. She was still wearing her yellow bow. She was wearing something else too. A smile. I smiled back.

  “Sophie.”

  “Shhh. Get some rest, Charlie. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  “Why is Tank here? I thought he left.”

  “You got stung by a bee. Don’t you remember? You started acting weird. I knew something was wrong so I went after him and he drove us to the hospital. The doctor gave you a shot and said you’d be fine.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay. Everything is okay.”

  I shook my head. “No, I need another chance. Another date. Please.” I heard more soft laughter. “Who’s laughing?”

  “Well, there may be a few nurses who find you funny.”

  “I’m not trying to be funny.”

&nbs
p; “I know. Just rest.”

  “Sophie?”

  “Yes, Charlie?”

  “One more chance?” I couldn’t hold my eyes open any longer. I was fading away.

  “Charlie, can you hear me?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I said, okay. We can have another date.”

  “With witnesses?” I murmured.

  Another soft laugh. “No…no witnesses this time. Just you and me.”

  I sat straight up, my heart pounding. Looking around, I noted my surroundings and was instantly zapped back to reality.

  “You slept like shit didn’t you, son?”

  My head snapped around in the direction of the voice. Levi was standing in the doorway sipping something from a mug. Sighing loudly, I admitted the truth.

  “You could say that.”

  “Well, come on. No sense in wrestling with sleep when we have a plane to wrestle with.”

  I swung my legs over to the side of the bed and willed myself to be in the present. “Yeah, about that,” I said, slipping my feet inside my boots. “I have no idea how we’re going to fix the propellers. I don’t know, Levi, maybe my big plan for fixing the plane is impossible.”

  Levi moved from the doorway, motioning for me to follow him. “I’ve been thinking about that too, and I think I have a solution.”

  I followed him outside to the barn. The sun was barely breaking over the horizon. I rolled my stiff neck, feeling exhausted and still trying to push away the dream I’d had.

  “So, what’s your idea?”

  “We use the forge,” he said, pointing to a fire pit. He explained how he used the forge to make his own tools, equipment, and weaponry like knives and such. The fire pit had an air source that blew air underneath to create a hotter fire, hot enough to bend steel. Once the steel was hot enough you could manipulate it however you needed by using other tools. You could twist it, bend it…straighten it.

  I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “You’re a blacksmith, Levi?”

  “You didn’t think you were the only one with talent, did you?”