The Widow's Friend

by Dave Stone; Callii Wilson

  I marvel at the fact that you ever went out with Tommy Thompson, both all those years ago and now. Now this is just my perception but you’re a definite nine, both then and now, and he’s about a four. I just don’t get it. Maybe you see something there that I don’t, both then and now. It’s just hard for me to understand.

  So did your daughter turn on you a bit yesterday? That’s too bad—it really is. It sounds like you are your son’s sole defender. That must be a lonely battle. If you ever need to talk or a shoulder to cry on, just shoot me an e-mail. I’ll be there as quick as I can, assuming that I see the e-mail. We can drive around Sugar City in the dark or just sit and talk. Sorry, we are still in somewhat of an awkward stage. It’s kind of like being fourteen again.

  Your story about the car and the keys was quite entertaining; though I’m sure it wasn’t fun at the time. Sometimes I think we can be a little too independent. A knock on a door can sometimes be the best answer, but you, my dear, are a very independent soul.

  I was thinking that it was very considerate of you to wear socks and no shoes when I visited last week. I think you worry about it a bit more than I do, but it was still nice of you. You’re not tall Callii, you’re delicate and feminine, that’ why I hang around—besides the fact that Mary Lou lives there.

  Our Christmas Eve party will be held in Rexburg, at my son’s house. It’s a small party of about twenty, and it’s a place to go. I don’t think his house could hold many more people than that. Christmas day will be dinner at my house with both my son’s family and Mary’s parents from Driggs attending. Then we’ll probably have another dinner on Sunday for Bailey and her family, because they’re coming late.

  New Year’s Eve is usually a nonevent for us. We’ve hosted a few parties over the years and attended others at the homes of friends, but more often than not we just stay home. The last several years it’s been all about setting off fireworks in the road with Lexi and the neighbor kids. I believe I’ve told you already, I’m a pretty boring guy. Are you beginning to believe me?

  Well, Callii dear, I’m signing off already. I think I’m going to slip in the Christmas Carol DVD tonight and actually watch it in the same room with Mary while we wrap gifts. She’ll probably do most of the wrapping. She is fastidious and I am a gorilla, but I’m willing to help. She doesn’t really know how lucky she is, does she? (Please agree :-)

  That reminds me, I read something at work today, and the subject was, what do men want and what do women want? The following paragraph hit me right between the eyes, “One thing that is the most devastating thing a woman can do to her man is to hold him in contempt. That is so devastating to a marriage that, over time, it is often more toxic than an affair. I am fairly certain that more marriages survive an affair, as difficult as that is, than contempt. Of course, this goes in both directions, but when a woman shows contempt towards her man, his very manhood is called into question.”

  I have time and again thought to myself, I can’t continue in a relationship where I’m treated with contempt! So you can see why this paragraph struck me so hard.

  And then the guy says, “So then, if what a man most wants is to be admired by his woman, what is it that a woman most wants?” So Callii, we’ll have to tune in next week to see what that answer is.

  And now, Dr. Freud here, signing off to go watch Scrooge. Goodnight Jo.

  Your friend, Levi

  ***

  From Callii Wilson (One hour later)

  Hello to you again. How’s the movie? I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you. Also, I don’t understand your last statement on your last e-mail. Will you explain it a little more, please?

  I am running away from home tomorrow. I have no idea where to run to or what I am running from. Want to join me? Just kidding—kind of.

  I gave my eight year old grandson a copy of each of your books today. He was thrilled. He loves to read and he’s very good at it. He even loves reading the scriptures. I’m not sure where this kid came from.

  Anyway, have a nice evening and sweet dreams, Jo

  P.S. I did get some 9 volt batteries today. I even installed one. I also shoveled about 20 inches of snow from my driveway and sidewalks. What a woman!!!!!!

  ***

  From Levi Stone (Thirty minutes later)

  Hi again Jo. I have to agree—what a woman!!!!!!! Also, just one week ago Wednesday, I didn’t run away but I slipped away to one of the great days in my life. I hope tomorrow treats you just as well. Have fun little grasshopper, but we ants have to work.

  Sleep well and play well, Levi

  P.S. I just e-mailed you the article to help explain.

  ***

  From Callii Wilson

  Dec 22nd

  Good Late Evening to you my good friend and author, Levi. I just finished the book, and what a tale you can weave. I really can’t get over what a great writer you are. You need someone to advertise for you somehow. I think you could be famous. You are already famous in my eyes.

  I am babysitting two grand kids tomorrow. They’re coming bright and early so I am going to bed now, but I wanted you to know that I really enjoyed the book.

  I hope everything is going well for you. I will write again soon.

  Night, night, from your friend Callii, the Black Widow

  From Callii Wilson

  Dec 24th

  I hope you have the best Christmas ever. I am happy this Christmas that I have you for a friend.

  Thanks, Callii

  ***

  From Levi Stone (Two hours later)

  Hi girlfriend. I thought you’d be up until midnight cleaning up your eighty-two year old father’s house. I didn’t think I’d hear from you until sometime after Christmas. It seems that you transform from a grasshopper to an ant during the holiday season as you serve your role as the hostess with the mostest. You’re a good woman, grandma Callii.

  The holidays have been good so far, no problems to report. Mary bought me some cowboy boots today for my Christmas present. I’m now officially one inch taller, and now almost as tall as you are. It was one hundred and fifty bones for the boots. I thought I might as well get some good ones—they’ll last me until I die. I can only imagine what they’ll look like in thirty years.

  Tomorrow will be the first morning ever that I’ll wake up on Christmas morning with no Santa Clause and no kids here—weird. We’ll have dinner here later on, however.

  I’m gonna give you an assignment if you don’t mind. Write me a note on Sunday night, just a little something that I can look forward to, and I will be—trust me.

  Your friend forever, Levi

  ***

  From Callii Wilson

  Dec 27th

  Hello Levi, it is finally quiet around here, so I am doing as you told me to, I am writing you an email. See how obedient I am? Don’t tell anyone—it would ruin my reputation.

  How was your Christmas? Mine was good, but I am still working on cleaning up the mess. It was pretty quiet until about 1:00, and then all Hell broke loose! There were hyped up kids all over the place, but I think they all had a good Christmas. All of my kids came for dinner and so did my dad, along with one of my brothers and his family. My daughter-in-law’s mom and sister came also. It was a free for all for anyone that could come, but the more the merrier is the way that I see it.

  Today I went to Chu****

  ***

  Well, it is now Monday and you can see I had problems getting my email to process. I tried to copy so I wouldn’t have to rewrite it, but everything froze up. I am going to try to send this on to you and then I will write you again. This time it is my router, I think, because I had to turn it off and restart my computer and…. So this is a test, only a test.

  Until I write again. Your computer challenged friend, Callii

  From Callii Wilson

  Dec 28th

  Hello, my friend, hello. Okay, so I think it might work this time. Sorry about not getting my assignment done on time, and what’s more,
I opened your email on my phone this morning and then accidentally erased it again. It is set up so stupid! My finger just has to be near this one spot and it erases it without me doing anything else at all. I know you think I am incompetent, and I guess you’re probably right, but I’ll have you know I spent a lot of time on my assignment, and then I wasn’t able to get any credit for it. I am upset about that, mainly because now I am going to have to try to remember what I told you, and then tell it to you all over again. I guess there are advantages to phone calls.

  I think I was telling you about going to church with my dad and brother. We went to my old church on fourth north. They held the final meeting there last Sunday. They are going to tear it down and build a new one in its place. My dad was a Sunday school teacher there many years ago. It’s all really kind of sad.

  I guess the church I go to will also be sold fairly soon. We have a new church that is almost finished. It is south and west of me. That is also kind of sad but I guess changes have to be made.

  So what are you looking forward to now that Christmas is over? I always have to have something to look forward to or my spirits can get low. Right now it is going to Disneyland with my kids and grandkids. We are leaving on the 7th of January.

  My daughter and her family are flying, but the rest of us are driving there. Mattie is going with me. She is so excited, as are the rest of the grand kids, but I hope we don’t get on each other’s’ last nerve. We all have rooms in the same hotel so we will be close but not too close. We’ll be gone for a week. I think that by the time we get back I will be ready to be home again.

  Today my washer bit the dust—not good! I went to buy a new one, but now I am thinking I will cancel it and have a repair man come and look at it first to see if it can be fixed. I think it is the belt because everything seems to work except the spin cycle. I had a heavy blanket in it and I think it was too much for the poor thing.

  I went to lunch with my husband’s kids today. It was fun to catch up. His daughter is here from Iowa.

  It was also my anniversary today—kind of bittersweet.

  I was talking to my brother and his wife on Sunday. We were talking about the good old times. Penny, formerly Penny Peterson from Sugar City, mentioned an old sleigh riding hill in your little home town. I asked her if she knew any Stones from over that way and she said she knew a Levi and a Sherry. She also said she was a good friend of Sherilyn, Matthew’s sister. I told her about the books you have written and she is going to borrow them from me. She knew Matthew quite well, and she is excited to read the book you wrote about him.

  I read it on Christmas Eve day. I enjoyed it, but it made me sad. It was such a waste of a young life. Kids are really hard on other kids and I think it is worse now than it was back then.

  Well, I think I’m going to quit while I’m ahead. You never know when I will crash again. This computer has to gain my trust again before I get too carried away.

  Write when you have time—soon I hope. And will you send me the one from yesterday again please? Sorry.

  Till we meet again in cyberspace, your non computer geek, Callpurnia

  ***

  From Levi Stone

  Dec 29th

  Hi Callii, it’s good to hear from you, even if it is at five in the morning. I couldn’t sleep, but what else is new? Anyway, I got up to check my e-mail and surprise, here you are. I need to let you know that my computer is whacked now too, so I’m writing this on Mary’s Mac. School teachers are given Macs you know, but her computer doesn’t recognize the name Callii – imagine that? Anyway, answer a couple of quick questions and then I’ll write you a long one, probably on Wednesday night.

  Today, after I get home from work, I have to go visit the Geek Squad at Best Buy. They come in handy sometimes. It seems that my windows system has crashed and I don’t have a CD Rom to repair it, but I think it will be an easy fix for the Geeks. I’m sure that leaving it open for my one year old grandson to bang on didn’t help.

  Was yesterday your anniversary? Too funny—it was mine too. December the 27th, we were married on a holiday break because Mary was out of school. And you? Why was yours on that day?

  I’ve been trying to remember who your sister in law is. So far I’ve been drawing a blank, but the sleigh riding hill was just behind the house I grew up in. People used to bring old car tires and light them on fire back then. You had to know the pot holes on the hill if you wanted to save your carcass from bumps and bruises. Do you remember the old saucers made of metal? But mostly we used the old reliable sleds with the wooden bodies and the metal runners. Can you remember the old rubber boots we wore that had buckles up and down the front? Those were the days, my friend, and that’s why I write the kind of books that I do. :^)

  It’s always fun to hear from you, Callii. You are a light in my life. So please answer my few questions, and then I will respond back to you with a long one.

  Your friend, Levi

  P.S I don’t think I have ever met someone with so many variations of names as you have. Many years ago I counted up the nicknames I’d had over the years. There were about fifteen of them, and now I can only remember about three—the fog is thickening.

  Write soon, Levi

  ***

  From Levi Stone (One hour later)

  Hi there Jo, how is Mary Lou tonight? You better lock the cellar door before you go to bed. I can hear music from the twilight zone in the background.

  I popped open your e-mail about three minutes after you sent it, and I couldn’t resist, so I ran upstairs and popped open my sophomore yearbook and there she was, Penny Peterson. I had someone altogether different looking in my head, but now I know who she is. Your brother has good taste. She was one of those older girls that we gave reverential respect to. I had my eye on younger girls at the time. Too bad I couldn’t have saved you from Ronnie Tanner while you were saving me from Tricia Holiday back when we were in high school. Life could have been so much better for the both of us.

  Actually, I think Ronnie Tanner was good for you in high school, but the best thing I ever did was dump Tricia Holiday for Amy Bosworth. Tricia Holiday married Alan Bonny and I think they deserve each other. Justice has been served.

  I’ve been thinking of you a lot today—you do that to me. I’ll write a longer note tomorrow when I have more time.

  Goodnight Callii Jo from head to toe, still dreaming, Joe the Shmoe from Kokomo

  And then I sent her a link to the introduction to “The Twilight Zone”.

  From Levi Stone (Twenty five minutes later)

  I hope I’m not scaring you. I’d be glad to run over and comfort you right now. Just say the word.

  Still dreaming….

  ***

  From Callii Wilson (Five minutes later)

  Scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  So scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  ***

  From Levi Stone (Ten minutes later)

  I’ll be there in thirty minutes.

  ***

  From Callii Wilson (Four minutes later)

  All talk! No action!

  From Levi Stone (Two minutes later)

  She don’t know me very well, do she?

  ***

  From Callii Wilson (Five minutes later)

  Is that you I hear creeping up the stairs, or is it Mary Lou?

  ***

  From Levi Stone (Twenty minutes later)

  Oh, to be in Mary Lou’s shoes right now.

  ***

  From Levi Stone (Fourteen minutes later)

  And by the way, speaking of all talk, I believe that you’ve set some pretty restrictive parameters down for me. I find them quite confining, but I don’t want to go the way of Tommy Thompson and be sent packing, so I remain a member in good standing, minding my p’s and my q’s.

  ***

  From Levi Stone (Three minutes later)

  Good night grandma Callii and sleep well.


  Your friend, Levi

  ***

  From Callii Wilson (Five minutes later)

  I told you so—you’re all talk and no action. And Mary Lou doesn’t wear shoes, she wears roller skates.

  Good Night, big talker!

  ***

  From Levi Stone (Seven minutes later)

  So, I thought I’d sent you to bed tenderly, but no, you have to go and act all sassy. Those are pretty strong words for a girl who builds fences between herself and her beaus. And by the way, I don’t really find it all that strange that you and I have the same anniversary. At first I thought it was a one in 365 chance, but after further consideration I remembered that you’ve been married roughly 365 times, so taking that into consideration it’s roughly about a 100% chance. So sleep well gramma. I hope Mary Lou bangs on the door all night long!

  ***

  Then I sent her another music link: “Old Flame” by Johnny Reid. It was a rough and tumble, raspy kind of a love song, and it seemed about right for tonight’s exchange.

  From Levi Stone (Two hours later)

  Hi grandma Callii. Well, we just ended our e-mail discourse for the night harshly, and in a bad taste attempt at humor kind of a way. Oh well, I still love ya’ little sassy one.

  So who are you Callii? Are you the lovely grandma that sets boundaries for her occasional visitors, or are you the black widow that uses and abuses them. Are you your mother’s daughter that she watches down on from up above, or are you the do-whatever-feels-good girl that your mother would advise me to run away from? Are you a grasshopper who goes through money like water, or are you the little business woman that knows the meaning of a dollar. Are you the Sunday school teacher’s daughter that he trained up in the way of the Lord, or are you the back row bleacher bum that does the bare minimum. Are you my friend for life and romantic flame, or are you a man killer that wants me for just my body. (What a pathetic choice.)