Pretend

by Riley Hart

  “It’s been a pretty good day. Nothing out of the ordinary as far as confusion or outbursts. I’m sure he’ll be so happy to see you.”

  Would he? If he was in his right mind and remembered who Gavin was, would he be happy? The knots in his gut tightened. It was a unique feeling, going to see his father in a nursing home, and not one he enjoyed. Ridiculous as it was, he always saw his dad as this invincible being. His parents were old-fashioned. His dad was always the one to take care of the family.

  They stuck to their gender roles. If there was a problem, it was up to his dad to fix it, and now here he was, wasting away in a nursing home, and he couldn’t fix it. None of them could.

  “You’re welcome to go in, Mr. Davis.”

  “Thank you,” Gavin replied to the woman behind the desk. When he got to his father’s room, the door was closed. He knocked softly on it before slipping it partway open. “Dad? It’s Gavin.”

  “Who?”

  Gavin’s heart dropped. “Gavin.” He stepped inside. “Do you remember who I am?”

  An unfamiliar anger flashed in his dad’s eyes. “Of course I know who you are. I’m not an idiot.” He shook his head. “I apologize. I’m going crazy being locked in this room.”

  Gavin’s eyes scanned the small, sterile-looking room. Yeah, he could get that. “Do you want to go for a walk?” His mom told him they had a garden out back where he could take his dad out to walk if he wanted.

  “Could we do that?” Finally there was a familiar light in his father’s eyes. They’d been so close when Gavin was young. Then, after they discovered he was gay, the pain in his dad’s eyes always kept Gavin at bay. When he decided to pretend he wasn’t who he really was, things were better again. That’s the man who looked at him now. The one who was proud of him, and damned if Gavin didn’t like that look. He wanted his parents proud of who he was regardless of who he felt attracted to.

  “Absolutely. Come on.” Gavin helped his dad out of the chair. He linked his right arm through his father’s left one and slowly led him toward the door. After checking him out, he went for the gardens were they could walk.

  “The air feels good, doesn’t it?” The sun burned bright, but they were lucky to have a slight wind. Summer had always been his favorite time of year.

  “It does. Reminds me of fishing with you.”

  Gavin’s head whipped his dad’s way at that. He would never get used to this—lucid moments followed by confusion. It was this constant fear every time he saw his father, not knowing what to expect. But this…the memories were something he hadn’t brought up before.

  “We used to have a lot of fun, didn’t we?” Gavin asked.

  “We did.” His father squeezed his arm. “Our boy. Your mother and I always wanted you so much. We were so proud of you—being in the church band, college, your job. I…” he shook his head. “We had our hard times when we worried about you so much. It about broke your mom…those things…those thoughts you used to have.” Gavin’s eyes fell closed and he let out a deep breath. Don’t do this, Dad. Don’t go there.

  “We prayed for you every day. The whole church did, and now we have our boy back. It’s a miracle.”

  No, no it wasn’t. He was the same Gavin, and that would never change. And it shouldn’t matter. “I’ve always been me. It’s the only person I know how to be, Dad.”

  And damned if it didn’t make him want to go postal on the whole fucking world that his family didn’t like the person that was.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Mason smiled when Gavin walked into the bar. “Hey. What are you doing here? You’re giving Jessie a piano lesson today, right?”

  “We did it early this morning. She has a friend’s birthday party this afternoon. She’s damn good for her age. I hope she sticks with it. I’m excited to see where she can go with it. Piano is a tough instrument. I loved it, but I almost quit at one point. I think most kids go through that. It’s probably my favorite to play now—that and the guitar.”

  Mason crossed his arms, enjoying the passion in Gavin’s eyes. That was one of his favorite things about the man, how passionate he was about music, and his love for it.

  “What?” Gavin asked.

  “Nothing. Kiss me.”

  Gavin leaned over the bar and took Mason’s mouth. Mason didn’t let it go on as long as he wanted to, not wanting to risk someone walking in on them.

  Since they didn’t currently have any customers, he walked to the other side of the counter and took the stool beside Gavin. “Do you think I can disappear for a couple hours tomorrow? I’d like to go to my father’s doctor appointment with him. He’s gained a small amount of movement back on his left side.”

  “Yeah, sure. No problem.”

  Mason rested his elbows on the bar and leaned his head into his hands. He closed his eyes, taking a minute to rest. “Thanks. You’ve been a life saver, you know that?”

  When Gavin didn’t answer, he slid his hand up, resting his forehead in it, and turned to see his lover. The man studied him, looked at him like he wasn’t really sure who Mason was. This time it was his turn to ask, “What?”

  “You’re exhausted and not taking care of yourself.”

  Mason tried to smile. “Why don’t you take care of me, then?” He knew what Gavin meant but didn’t really want to go there right now. He needed time off. He needed to lessen his trips to Denver, not add more.

  “Stop pretending you don’t know what I mean.” Gavin stood, and scooted behind him. Mason groaned when Gavin’s hands started to knead the muscles in his shoulders.

  “You’re going to make me come.”

  “You probably need that, too.”

  “I always need that.” He closed his eyes and enjoyed the strong hands on his shoulders, his neck, working all the tight muscles there. “You have talented hands.”

  “Comes from years of playing instruments.”

  “Can we do this every day?” Mason pleaded.

  “Hey, how is that fair to me?”

  “You get to touch me? Ouch, shit.” Gavin’s teeth bit into Mason’s shoulder. “I was going to invite you to lunch at my folks house this Sunday, but now I don’t know…”

  Gavin’s hands paused.

  “My family would like to meet you. I’m warning you that Isaac will probably be there, but if you want to come, you’re welcome. We can get the bar covered for a few hours.” Mason was fully aware this visit propelled their relationship forward, and he was okay with that.

  “I’d like that. I’m going to show him you’re mine.”

  He chuckled. “This possessive side of you is pretty hot, but it’s not needed.”

  The door creaked but Mason didn’t move. Gavin’s hands stopped massaging but he kept them on Mason’s shoulders.

  “Jesus fucking Christ.”

  Mason recognized the angry voice behind him. He turned and kept Gavin close as a group of firemen came in. Braden and Cooper among them, though it had been the homophobic prick Fred who’d spoken.

  “Problem?” Mason asked.

  Fred just shook his head, but the set in his body said he did. From what Cooper and Noah had told him, the problems with Fred went back to when Cooper and Noah first got together. They only grew when Braden fell in love with Wes. They’d come to an understanding at work, after an intervention with their captain, but that didn’t mean it changed the way Fred obviously felt.

  “That’s good.” He didn’t take his eyes off Fred as he spoke, letting him know Mason wouldn’t deal with his shit. Not in his bar, or anywhere else.

  Braden grabbed onto Fred’s shoulders. It was meant to look playful, but Mason could see the anger in his eyes. “Be careful with the water here, Freddy boy. I heard it makes you gay.”

  Everyone laughed except Gavin, Mason, and Fred, who shoved Braden away. Mason didn’t have the energy to laugh.

  “Watch out. Duty calls.” He stood, kissed Gavin on the forehead, and then went over to serve the firemen and the asshole that came al
ong with them.

  ***

  Gavin followed Mason to his parent’s house on Sunday morning. This would be the first time he met the family of someone he was in a relationship with, besides Braden. Probably because Braden had been the only man he’d been with besides a casual fuck.

  And they were more. He’d realized that for a while, but this cemented it.

  Gavin killed the engine as his car sat in Mason’s driveway. He got out as Mason walked toward him. “Your home is incredible.” It was a large, brick house, with perfectly manicured lawn and flowers. They had tall pillars out front, with a covered walkway and fountain off to the side.

  He never would have pegged Mason as growing up in a place like this.

  “It’s a bit much if you ask me. It was a good place to grow up, though. Let’s go.” Mason nodded toward the house and started walking. Gavin fell into step beside him. Mason held the door open and signaled for Gavin to go in first.

  The inside of the house was just as beautiful as the outside, with marble tables, crown molding and incredible artwork. “Wow.”

  “Don’t stress, music man. Just a house. I promise they’re much more down-to-Earth than you’d expect.”

  “Who said I’m stressing?” Really, he was. This was a big step for them.

  “Mason? We’re in here!” a woman’s voice called. Mason led Gavin through a set of double doors and into a large family room. Mason’s mother sat on the couch, his father in a wheelchair, with Isaac in a chair across from him, showing the man some paperwork.

  “Hello. You must be Gavin. It’s so nice to meet you.” The woman with a kind smile walked over and shook Gavin’s hand.

  “Hello, ma’am. It’s nice to meet you as well.”

  Mason’s eyebrows pulled together as if something surprised him. Gavin shrugged and smiled at Mason’s mom.

  “None of that. Call me Catherine. This is Mason’s father, Ted. Ted, this is Gavin.”

  Before Gavin could reply, Mason asked, “What are you guys looking at?”

  “Just restaurant things. We’ll talk about it later.” Isaac put the papers into his briefcase.

  Ted looked up from his seat. “Good to meet you,” he said, though his words were slightly slurred.

  “You, too.” Gavin held out his right hand so Ted could do the same.

  “Gavin.” Isaac nodded and Gavin did the same. He wasn’t sure why, but he hadn’t expected the man to be here already.

  “What time did you get here?” Mason asked Isaac.

  “I stayed the night, so I could help Mom with a few things. How was the bar last night, Mase?”

  Gavin stiffened. It was strange, uncomfortable even, that his boyfriend’s ex was so close to the family that he not only stayed here at times but that he called Gavin’s mother Mom. Add to it that he couldn’t read Isaac, didn’t know him well enough to know if he meant his question honestly or if he tried to give Mason shit for not being here.

  “Good. We were busy. Things are really taking off. It’s good to see all my hard work paying off.” The guarded edge to Mason’s voice told Gavin that there was more behind Mason’s words than he knew. Isaac didn’t respond, though, and Mason turned his attention to his father. “Hey, Dad. Looking good today. Want to hang outside for a bit? I want to show Gavin the garden.”

  “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take a shower,” Isaac stood and left the room. Gavin really hated that man. He wanted him out of Mason’s life. Because you see how well he fits here…

  But he didn’t, really. Not with the Mason that Gavin knew.

  The four of them went out for a walk once Isaac went upstairs. The majority of the tension seemed to leave with him. They walked, and Catherine would point out different trees and flowers that she liked. She told him stories about Mason when he was a kid. Of the time he decided to run away and tried to stay in the garden all night but got scared.

  “Thanks for that, Mom. Just what a guy wants is for his boyfriend to hear he was afraid to sleep in a garden.”

  Gavin chuckled as she wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “That’s okay. You were only twelve.”

  “Twelve!” Gavin asked, and then Mason and his mom both started to laugh.

  “She’s trying to make me look bad. I was seven.”

  “Eight,” Catherine corrected.

  “Play…ball…” Ted raised his right hand to point. It was the first time his father had spoken since they came out.

  “What’s that, Dad?”

  Ted shook his head. “Broken the....win…win…” He groaned, and then let out a deep breath.

  Catherine squeezed his shoulder. Gavin looked up at Mason, who gave him a sad smile, before bending forward. “You’re trying to embarrass me, too, huh? He’s talking about that time Isaac and I were playing ball in the field over there. I threw the baseball and it broke the window. We made up this crazy story about some other kids coming along and breaking it, which no one believed. I got grounded for two weeks, if I remember correctly.”

  “Not for breaking the window. That was an accident. You got in trouble for lying about it. You know we’ve always been big on the truth.”

  Even Gavin tensed when those words came out of her mouth. It was as though she tossed a blanket of tension over all of them, because Gavin knew that the way his lover saw it, they’d lied to him his whole life.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Lunch could have gone better. Everyone spoke politely, and they kept the conversation going, but it was still awkward as hell. Mason felt it the whole time—a heavy weight bearing down on them—and he knew everyone else did as well.

  “So, Gavin, Mason tells us you used to be a music teacher. Is that something you’re looking into doing again?”

  Mason eyed Gavin as he shrugged. “I’m not sure. I miss it sometimes, but…I guess I’m still trying to figure things out. Private lessons are an option as well. I’ve been approached by quite a few people in Blackcreek. It’s just not something I have the time for right now.”

  That made Mason pause as he was eating. Gavin hadn’t told him that. The last he knew was the conversation with Cooper, and he thought Gavin said yes. “Hey.” It wasn’t right for Gavin to miss out on something he wanted to do because he helped Mason.

  Gavin shook his head and Mason let it go for now. They’d talk about it later.

  After they finished eating, his mother excused herself to help his dad get ready for a nap.

  “Do you need any help?” Mason asked but she shook her head.

  “No. You’re fine.”

  “We’ll talk when I get up,” his dad slurred. Mason had no doubt that they would. He wanted to know what Isaac and his Dad had been looking at when he came in.

  “I’ll be here.” Mason waited until he heard the click of the bedroom door behind his parents before he eyed Isaac. “What were you guys looking at when I got here?”

  Isaac glanced at Gavin as though he wasn’t sure he could speak in front of him. Mason rolled his eyes. “I think Isaac has you figured out, Gavin. He knows you’re a spy researching Alexander’s for…who exactly, Isaac?”

  “You’re being an asshole. That’s not what I was thinking.” Isaac crossed his arms, and Mason continued to wait. He wanted a heads-up before the conversation with his father.

  “Numbers, Mase. Did you know your parent’s income was almost doubled when they purchased the Boulder location? It’s smart to think about growing if the opportunity is there and it makes sense. We have one in our lap right now. The price is low, you’ve seen it yourself. Buying out the new location would be the smartest move we could make.”

  Mason’s fist came down on the table. “Jesus Christ, Isaac, are you kidding me? Did you see my father?”

  “Do you know your father? He bounces back from everything. He’s already making great progress. He needs to work. Being productive will make him heal more quickly. Wasting away is not what he needs!”

  He felt Gavin shift beside him, felt bad that he had to witnes
s this, but Mason wanted him by his side as well. “Don’t do that. Don’t you fucking act like you know them better than I do.”

  “You’re not acting like you know them at all. You know I can handle this, Mase. You know we can do it until your dad gets on his feet, and this would be more stability for them. This is helping him build the empire that he wanted for his son. You’re thinking with your dick because you want to stay in Blackcreek, playing house with your boyfriend, instead of living the life you always planned.”

  A vein in Mason’s head pulsed. An inferno raged through all his internal organs.

  “That’s going too far—”

  Mason couldn’t help but cut Gavin off. “Fuck you, Isaac. You don’t know what I want. Just because things aren’t going the way you want, don’t try and pretend you know what’s best for me. That you’ve ever cared about what anyone wants, other than yourself. You say I’m thinking with my dick and maybe I am, but you’re thinking with your wallet instead of what’s best for his physical well-being.”

  “He wants to work! And he has us. Don’t you think landing this deal would make him feel good? He won’t be the one out there putting in the work. I will. I’ll take it all on if I need to. This is what he wanted when he opened Alexander’s. He wanted this for you, but you’re too busy feeling sorry for yourself because you think genetics is what makes a family! You’re too busy punishing them to—”

  “Hey, now.” Gavin pushed to his feet but Mason was already there. He grabbed ahold of Isaac, pulled him up and shoved him against the wall.

  Isaac and Mason were comparable in size, but the man didn’t try and fight him off. “Finally, there’s the fucking man I’m used to seeing in you. I had to piss you off for you to show it. You know I’m right, Mase. You—”

  “Stop it! Stop it right now before your father hears you both!” The frantic, high-pitched cry in his mom’s voice almost didn’t get through to Mason. His body was wound up too tight. His brain ran in too many directions at once.