Peter's Pence

by W. W. Jacobs

'ave wot he couldn't. "Why, the shop's shut."

  "I don't think so," ses Sam, glaring at 'im. "Anyway, we can go andsee."

  Peter said he'd go with 'im, and just as they got to the door Mr. Goodmansaid he'd go too. O' course, the shops was shut, and arter Mr. Goodman'ad stood on Tower Hill admiring the Tower by moonlight till Sam feltready to drop, they all walked back. Three times Sam's boot-lace comeundone, but as the ethers all stopped too to see 'im do it up it didn'tdo 'im much good. Wot with temper and dryness 'e could 'ardly bid Peter"Good-night."

  Sam and Ginger 'ad something the next morning, but morning ain't the timefor it; and arter they had 'ad dinner Mr. Goodman asked 'em to go to theZoological Gardens with 'im. He paid for them all, and he 'ad a lot tosay about kindness to animals and 'ow you could do anything with 'ema'most by kindness. He walked about the place talking like a book, andwhen a fat monkey, wot was pretending to be asleep, got a bit o' Sam'swhisker, he said it was on'y instink, and the animal had no wish to do'im 'arm.

  "Very likely thought it was doing you a kindness, Sam," ses Ginger.

  Mr. Goodman said it was very likely, afore Sam could speak, and arterwalking about and looking at the other things they come out and 'ad anice, strong, 'ot cup o' tea, same as they 'ad the day before, and thenwalked about, not knowing what to do with themselves.

  Sam got tired of it fust, and catching Ginger's eye said he thought itwas time to get 'ome in case too much enjoyment wasn't good for 'em. Hisidea was to get off with Ginger and make a night of it, and when 'e foundPeter and his uncle was coming too, he began to think that things waslooking serious.

  "I don't want to spile your evening," he says, very perlite. "I must get'ome to mend a pair o' trowsis o' mine, but there's no need for you tocome."

  "I'll come and watch you," ses Peter's uncle.

  "And then I'm going off to bed early," ses Sam. "Me, too," ses Ginger,and Peter said he could hardly keep 'is eyes open.

  They got on a bus, and as Sam was about to foller Ginger and Peter ontop, Mr. Goodman took hold of 'im by the arm and said they'd go inside.He paid two penny fares, and while Sam was wondering 'ow to tell 'im thatit would be threepence each, the bus stopped to take up a passenger andhe got up and moved to the door.

  "They've gone up there," he ses, pointing.

  Afore Sam could stop 'im he got off, and Sam, full o' surprise, got offtoo, and follered 'im' on to the pavement.

  "Who's gone up there?" he ses, as the bus went on agin.

  "Peter and Mr. Ginger Dick," ses Mr. Good-man. "But don't you trouble.You go 'ome and mend your trowsis."

  "But they're on the bus," ses Sam, staring. "Dick and Peter, I mean."

  Mr. Goodman shook his 'ead.

  "They got off. Didn't you see 'em?" he ses. "No," ses Sam, "I'll swearthey didn't."

  "Well, it's my mistake, I s'pose," ses Peter's uncle. "But you get offhome; I'm not tired yet, and I'll walk."

  Sam said 'e wasn't very tired, and he walked along wondering whether Mr.Goodman was quite right in his 'ead. For one thing, 'e seemed upsetabout something or other, and kept taking little peeps at 'im in a way hecouldn't understand at all.

  "It was nice tea we 'ad this arternoon," ses Mr. Goodman at last.

  "De-licious," ses Sam.

  "Trust a teetotaller for knowing good tea," ses Mr. Goodman. "I expectPeter enjoyed it. I s'pose 'e is a very strict teetotaller?"

  "Strict ain't the word for it," ses Sam, trying to do 'is duty by Peter."We all are."

  "That's right," ses Mr. Goodman, and he pushed his 'at back and looked atSam very serious. They walked on a bit further, and then Peter's unclestopped sudden just as they was passing a large public-'ouse and lookedat Sam.

  "I don't want Peter to know, 'cos it might alarm 'im," he ses, "but I'vecome over a bit faint. I'll go in 'ere for 'arf a minnit and sit down.You'd better wait outside."

  "I'll come in with you, in case you want help," ses Sam. "I don't mindwot people think."

  Mr. Goodman tried to persuade 'im not to, but it was all no good, and atlast 'e walked in and sat down on a tall stool that stood agin the bar,and put his hand to his 'ead.

  "I s'pose we shall 'ave to 'ave something," he ses in a whisper to Sam;"we can't expect to come in and sit down for nothing. What'll you take?"

  Sam looked at 'im, but he might just as well ha' looked at a brass door-knob.

  "I--I--I'll 'ave a small ginger-beer," he ses at last, "a very smallone."

  "One small ginger," ses Mr. Goodman to the bar-maid, "and one specialScotch."

  Sam could 'ardly believe his ears, and he stood there 'oldin' his glasso' ginger-beer and watching Peter's teetotal uncle drink whiskey, andthought 'e must be dreaming.

  "I dessay it seems very shocking to you," ses Mr. Goodman, putting down'is glass and dryin' 'is lips on each other, "but I find it useful forthese attacks."

  "I--I s'pose the flavor's very nasty?" ses Sam, taking a sip at 'isginger-beer.

  "Not exactly wot you could call nasty," ses Mr. Goodman, "though I dessayit would seem so to you. I don't suppose you could swallow it."

  "I don't s'pose I could," ses Sam, "but I've a good mind to 'ave a try.If it's good for one teetotaller I don't see why it should hurt another."

  Mr. Goodman looked at 'im very hard, and then he ordered a whiskey andstood watching while Sam, arter pretending for a minnit to look at it asthough 'e didn't know wot to do with it, took a sip and let it roll round'is mouth.

  "Well?" ses Mr. Goodman, looking at 'im anxious-like.

  "It ain't so 'orrid as I 'ad fancied," ses Sam, lap-ping up the rest verygentle.

  "'It aint so 'orrid as I 'ad fancied.' ses Sam."]

  "'Ave you 'ad enough to do you all the good it ought to?"

  Mr. Goodman said that it was no good 'arf doing a thing, and p'r'aps he'ad better 'ave one more; and arter Sam 'ad paid for the next two theywent out arm-in-arm.

  "'Ow cheerful everybody looks!" ses Mr. Good-man, smiling.

  "They're going to amuse theirselves, I expect," ses Sam-- "music-'allsand such-like."

  Mr. Goodman shook his 'ead at 'em.

  "Music-'alls ain't so bad as some people try to make out," ses Sam.

  "Look 'ere; I took some drink to see what the flavor was like; supposeyou go to a music-'all to see wot that's like?"

  "It seems on'y fair," ses Peter's uncle, considering.

  "It is fair," ses Sam, and twenty minutes arterwards they was sitting ina music-'all drinking each other's 'ealths and listening to the songs--Mr. Goodman with a big cigar in 'is mouth and his 'at cocked over oneeye, and Sam beating time to the music with 'is pipe.

  "'Ow do you like it?" he ses.

  Mr. Goodman didn't answer 'im because 'e was joining in the chorus withone side of 'is mouth and keeping 'is cigar alight with the other. Hejust nodded at 'im; but 'e looked so 'appy that Sam felt it was apleasure to sit there and look at 'im.

  "I wonder wot Peter and Ginger is doin'?" he ses, when the song wasfinished.

  "I don't know," ses Mr. Goodman, "and, wot's more, I don't care. If I'd'ad any idea that Peter was like wot he is I should never 'ave wrote to'im. I can't think 'ow you can stand 'im."

  "He ain't so bad," ses Sam, wondering whether he ought to tell 'im 'arfof wot Peter really was like.

  "Bad!" ses Mr. Goodman. "I come up to London for a 'oliday--a change,mind you--and I thought Peter and me was going to 'ave a good time.Instead o' that, he goes about with a face as long as a fiddle. He don'tdrink, 'e don't go to places of amusement--innercent places of amusement--and 'is idea of enjoying life is to go walking about the streets anddrinking cups o' tea."

  "We must try and alter 'im," ses Sam, arter doing a bit o' thinking.

  "Certainly not," ses Mr. Goodman, laying his 'and on Sam's knee. "Far beit from me to interfere with a feller-creature's ideas o' wot's right.Besides, he might get writing to 'is sister agin, and she might tell mywife."

  "But Peter said she was dead," ses Sam, very puzz
led.

  "I married agin," ses Peter's uncle, in a whisper, 'cos people wastelling 'im to keep quiet, "a tartar--a perfect tartar. She's in a'orsepittle at present, else I shouldn't be 'ere. And I shouldn't ha'been able to come if I 'adn't found five pounds wot she'd hid in amatch-box up the chimbley."

  "But wot'll you do when she finds it out?" ses Sam, opening 'is eyes.

  "I'm going to 'ave the house cleaned and the chimbleys swept to welcomeher 'ome," ses Mr. Goodman, taking a sip o' whiskey. "It'll be a littlesurprise for her."

  They stayed till it was over, and on the bus he gave Sam some strongpeppermint lozenges wot 'e always carried about with 'im, and took some'imself. He said 'e found 'em helpful.

  "What are we going to tell Peter and Ginger?" ses Sam, as they got nearthe 'ouse.

  "Tell 'em?" ses Mr. Goodman. "Tell 'em the truth. How we follered 'emwhen they got off the bus, and 'ave been looking for 'em ever since. I'mnot going to 'ave my 'oliday spoilt by a teetotal nevvy, I can tell you."

  He started on Peter, wot was sitting on his bed with Ginger waiting forthem, the moment he got inside, and all Ginger and Peter could say didn'tmake any difference.

  "Mr. Small see you as plain as what I did," he ses.

  "Plainer," ses Sam.

  "But I tell you we come straight 'ome," ses Ginger, "and we've beenwaiting for you 'ere ever since."

  Mr. Goodman shook his 'ead at 'im. "Say no more about it," he ses, in akind voice. "I dessay it's rather tiresome for young men to go aboutwith two old ones, and in future, if you and Peter keep together, me andmy friend Mr. Small will do the same."

  Sam shook 'ands with 'im, and though Peter tried his 'ardest to make 'imalter his mind it was no good. His uncle patted 'im on the shoulder, andsaid they'd try it for a few days, at any rate, and Ginger, wot thoughtit was a very good idea, backed 'im up. Everybody seemed pleased withthe idea except Peter Russet, but arter Sam 'ad told 'im in private wot ahigh opinion 'is uncle 'ad got of 'im, and 'ow well off he was, 'e gaveway.

  They all enjoyed the next evening, and Sam and Mr. Goodman got ontogether like twin brothers. They went to a place of amusement everynight, and the on'y unpleasantness that happened was when Peter's uncleknocked a chemist's shop up at a quarter-past twelve one night to buy apenn'orth o' peppermint lozenges.

  They 'ad four of the 'appiest evenings together that Sam 'ad ever known;and Mr. Goodman would 'ave been just as 'appy too if it hadn't ha' beenfor the thoughts o' that five pounds. The more 'e thought of it the moreunlikely it seemed that 'is wife would blame it on to the sweep, and onenight he took the match-box out of 'is pocket and shook his 'ead over ittill Sam felt quite sorry for 'im.

  "Don't take up your troubles afore they come," he ses. "Orsepittles aredangerous places."

  Mr. Goodman cheered up a bit at that, but he got miserable agin the nextnight because 'is money was getting low and he wanted another week inLondon.

  "I've got seven shillings and fourpence and two stamps left," he ses."Where it's all gone to I can't think."

  "Don't you worry about that," ses Sam. "I've got a pound or two leftyet."

  "No, I ain't going to be a burden on you," ses Mr. Goodman, "but anotherweek I must 'ave, so I must get the money somehow. Peter can't spendmuch, the way he goes on."

  Sam gave a little cough.

  "I'll get a pound or two out of 'im," ses Mr. Goodman.

  Sam coughed agin. "Won't he think it rather funny?" he ses, arter abit.

  "Not if it's managed properly," ses Mr. Good-man, thinking 'ard. "I'lltell you 'ow we'll do it. To-morrow morning, while we are eating of ourbreakfast, you ask me to lend you a pound or two."

  Sam, what 'ad just taken up 'is glass for a drink, put it down agin andstared at 'im.

  "But I don't want no money," he ses; "and, besides, you 'aven't got any."

  "You do as I tell you," ses Mr. Goodman, "and when you've got it, youhand it over to me, see? Ask me to lend you five pounds."

  Sam thought as 'ow the whiskey 'ad got to Mr. Goodman's 'ead at last.'Owever, to pacify 'im he promised to do wot 'e was told, and nextmorning, when they was all at breakfast, he looks over and catches Mr.Goodman's eye.

  "I wonder if I might be so bold as to ask a favor of you?" he ses.

  "Certainly," ses Peter's uncle, "and glad I shall be to oblige you.There is no man I've got a greater respect for."

  "Thankee," ses Sam. "The fact is, I've run a bit short owing to paying aman some money I owed 'im. If you could lend me five pounds, I couldn'tthank you enough."

  Mr. Goodman put down 'is knife and fork and wrinkled up 'is forehead.

  "I'm very sorry," he ses, feeling in 'is pockets; "do you want itto-day?"

  "Yes; I should like it," ses Sam.

  "It's most annoying," ses Mr. Goodman, "but I was so afraid o'pickpockets that I didn't bring much away with me. If you could waittill the day arter to-morrow, when my money is sent to me, you can 'aveten if you like."

  "You're very kind," ses Sam, "but that 'ud be too late for me. I musttry and get it somewhere else." Peter and Ginger went on eating theirbreakfast, but every time Peter looked up he caught 'is uncle looking at'im in such a surprised and disappointed sort o' way that 'e didn't likethe look of it at all.

  "I could just do it for a couple o' days, Sam," he ses at last, "butit'll leave me very short."

  "That's right," ses his uncle, smiling. "My nevvy, Peter Russet, willlend it to you, Mr. Small, of 'is own free will. He 'as offered afore hewas asked, and that's the proper way to do it, in my opinion."

  He reached acrost the table and shook 'ands with Peter, and said thatgenerosity ran in their family, and something seemed to tell 'im as Peterwouldn't lose by it. Everybody seemed pleased with each other, and arterGinger Dick and Peter 'ad gone out Mr. Goodman took the five pounds offof old Sam and stowed 'em away very careful in the match-box.

  "He reached acrost the table and shook 'ands with Peter."]

  "It's nice to 'ave money agin," he ses. "There's enough for a week'senjoyment here."

  "Yes," ses Sam, slow-like; "but wot I want to know is, wot about the dayarter to-morrow, when Peter expects 'is money?"

  Mr. Goodman patted 'im on the shoulder. "Don't you worry about Peter'stroubles," he ses. "I know exactly wot to do; it's all planned out. NowI'm going to 'ave a lay down for an hour--I didn't get much sleep lastnight--and if you'll call me at twelve o'clock we'll go somewhere. Knockloud."

  He patted 'im on the shoulder agin, and Sam, arter fidgeting about a bit,went out. The last time he ever see Peter's uncle he was laying on thebed with 'is eyes shut, smiling in his sleep. And Peter Russet didn'tsee Sam for eighteen months.