Abide: A Christian Romance Novel (The Lewis Legacy Series, Book 7)

by JoAnn Durgin

  Tears rolled down his cheeks. It’d been a five-year drought since he’d cried. Not since the day of Helena’s funeral. Then the well had gone barren. Bone dry.

  Surrender Helena. That thought stopped him cold. Had he truly surrendered Helena to the Lord? In his heart he thought he had, but maybe he’d only mouthed the words, and they hadn’t penetrated his heart, his soul.

  Although he’d never outright rejected Helena, he’d buried himself in work. He’d sacrificed as much of his time as he could for his wife, but it was never enough. When they’d married and then the business expanded rapidly, Caleb thought she understood the demands on his time and energy. She’d been active in several local charity groups in Dallas, but they didn’t fill much of her time. Nothing else he suggested seemed to work, and she’d grown increasingly weepy, needy, and clingy.

  One of his grandmothers had long-suffered from depression, and he began to recognize the same behavior in his wife. When he’d dared to suggest she seek professional counseling, Helena’s response was to run off to Paris—whether by herself or with someone else he’d never known—and not returned until a week later.

  He’d remained faithful to Helena. Even in his lowest moments, he’d never succumbed to temptation. Although he’d had a number of opportunities with other women, that wasn’t the kind of man he was. In all areas of his life, he’d stayed faithful to a God he welcomed as a presence in his life. Even though he’d temporarily lost sight of Him, he’d always known marital infidelity wasn’t the answer to his discontent. It would only be a temporary physical release that masked deeper problems and led to more complications.

  When Lauren was four, the relationship between them deteriorated to its lowest level. Helena had been pampered her entire life, but she’d been the best mother she knew how to be, and Caleb couldn’t fault her parenting skills and love for their only child. But when Helena came home unusually late the second time in a week—the masculine scent of a man’s cologne lingering in the fabric of a dress Caleb had picked out for her—he vowed to resurrect his marriage. He’d left the office early, wined and dined his wife, paid her compliments, lavished her with attention and expensive gifts. Jetted off with her for long weekends and spent time with her like he hadn’t in years.

  At one point, he’d hoped another child might be the answer, but that had been his dream, not Helena’s. His efforts to revive a dying marriage, no matter how impassioned, seemed to come too late. The sad fact was that he hadn’t lived up to her expectations. Even more than being a mother, Helena wanted Caleb to be her entire world. No one person could be that for another or they’d surely fail. His young wife had a void inside her that only the Lord could fill.

  Then she’d found the lump in her breast. Actually, he’d found the lump in a moment of intimacy. The discovery had only fueled Helena’s angst and spurred on his overwhelming guilt. The relationship slowly declined from there.

  Two years later, she was gone. And he’d failed her.

  His deepest regret, the one he kept hidden in the darkest part of him, was that he should have loved Helena more. Loved her better. Not that anything he could have done would have saved her from the ugly ravages of the horrible, hideous beast that was cancer. The banks of the river between them had grown farther apart each year, and the bridge he’d tried to build was a few feet short of reaching the other side.

  He’d loved his wife when he married her, and he’d loved Helena when she died.

  That was what he needed to remember.

  He’d closeted himself away from the world. By doing so, he’d only made things worse by focusing and dwelling on the grief. That hadn’t been good for him or Lauren.

  Mopping the moisture from both cheeks with the heels of his hands, Caleb continued his prayer. “I surrender Helena to you, too, Lord. She was sick and couldn’t be healed. I understand that. Taking her home was your way of healing her. I’m asking you to show me the way. If Eliot can help me, please give him wisdom to help me face down these threats with courage and strength. Above all, Father, please keep my little girl safe.”

  His voice cracked again. More tears fell, and he let them go. Moving his hand over his mouth, Caleb stifled his quiet sobs. “If anything happens to me, please watch over Lauren. I want her to grow up and have a wonderful life, family, friends, and love. I pledge to you that I’ll train her in the way she should go, and in your ways. I’ve neglected that responsibility, and I know how that grieves you. I surrender her to you because I know you love her even more than I do. But I’ll do my best as long as you’ve entrusted her care to me.”

  Swallowing hard, he pushed on. “Show me how to trust in you, Lord. Show me how to give you all of me, and not just the parts I’m willing to give. I ask these things in the name of your Son, Jesus. Amen.”

  He needed to get moving, but Caleb inhaled several deep, cleansing breaths and released them slowly. His time of prayer helped to calm his nerves, and a quiet peace flooded his soul. Blessed grace and sweet comfort from the heavenly Father who could take all his human faults, fears, insecurities, and weaknesses upon Himself and give Caleb the confidence he needed to face whatever might come, armed with truth, and the sword and shield of righteousness.

  Hauling himself to his feet, Caleb exited his office through the main corridor. He slipped out and began walking down the quiet hallway, grateful no one was around. He hoped he could make it around the lobby and over to Caty’s office without being stopped.

  “Hey there, Mr. Reid!”

  Gritting his teeth, Caleb glanced over his shoulder but kept walking. “Nice to see you, Miles.”

  “Sir, do you have a quick minute? Caty—Miss Lewis—suggested that I bring a couple of my ideas to you.”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t have time right now. Make an appointment with Cordelia. We’ll meet one day next week.”

  “No fooling? I mean, seriously?”

  “Seriously.” Caleb kept walking. “I’ll see you then.”

  “Yes, sir. Thank you. You have yourself a great weekend, Mr. Reid.”

  “You, too, Miles.” Waving one hand in the air, Caleb hastened his steps.

  As usual, Caty’s office door stood open, but he paused in the doorway when he realized she wasn’t alone. The receptionist he’d met earlier. Suri? Suki? Suma.

  “Hi, Suma. Caty, when you have a moment, I’d like a word with you, please.”

  As expected, Suma had risen to her feet when he’d made his appearance. “My break’s almost over, and I need to get back to the switchboard. Nice to see you again, Mr. Reid.” Suma nodded with a small smile and departed.

  Stepping farther into the office, Caleb stopped a few feet from Caty’s desk and lowered his voice. “Caty, I realize this might sound a little bit nuts, but are you free to take Lauren shopping this afternoon?” She probably thought he was pushy and obnoxious. He couldn’t blame her.

  Cheeks flushing, Caty fiddled with the ink pen in her hand. “As in right this minute?”

  “Sorry. I should have asked if you have plans after work.”

  “I don’t have plans.”

  “I—” He was bungling this. “Something’s come up, and I need someone to watch Lauren while I go to an important meeting. It might take a couple of hours.” He raked one hand through his hair and then crossed his arms. “I have a credit card in her name that I’ll give you to buy her some new clothes, shoes, that kind of thing. Whatever she tells you she needs. One of the malls might be good.” Malls were well-lit, lots of people around, security patrols. Yes, that would be best.

  Caty stared at him with clear compassion in her expression. “I’ll be more than happy to spend time with Lauren. Shopping for someone else is more fun than shopping for myself.” He appreciated how she didn’t question his motives.

  “I’ll call you when my meeting is over. We’ll go from there.”

  “Sure,” she said, hesitating a moment. “Caleb, you look like you’re tied up in knots. Are you okay?” Her concern touched him. He
needed to leave before he became unplugged and the rest of the story tumbled out of him. With Caty looking at him with those trusting eyes, he wanted to tell her everything.

  What are you doing? Fear struck him all over again. How could he possibly put Caty in danger? In wanting to protect Lauren, was he being foolish? Putting both of them in danger?

  “Okay, this is going to sound even crazier, but would one of your brothers be available to go with you? Meet you there?”

  Her jaw went slack. “On a shopping trip to the mall?” Rising from her chair, she walked across her office and closed the door. “Sit down, and tell me what’s going on.”

  “I don’t have time now.”

  “Yes, you do. Take three minutes. I want to help you, but I can’t do that if you won’t tell me what’s going on.”

  He didn’t even hesitate and dropped onto the loveseat. She sat down beside him and pulled him into her arms, holding him close. She rested her cheek against his and whispered, “Abide, Caleb.” Pulling back, she took his hands, covering them with hers. “‘Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.’”

  Caleb nodded. “From the Book of John.”

  “Yes,” she said quietly. “It’s one of my favorite verses of Scripture. In times of stress, I repeat that verse, as many times as needed. It never fails to help keep me calm. I’ve always found that giving Christ complete authority over my life brings an unbelievable freedom. The kind of freedom that nothing, or no one else, can.”

  What a godly woman, as lovely inside as she was beautiful on the outside. How was it that Caty seemed to understand his deepest struggle? “A few minutes ago, sitting in my office, I prayed that I can be strong enough to surrender to His authority. Fully surrender.” He swallowed hard and met Caty’s gaze. “That includes Helena. The past five years, I’ve lived in fear of my own making. It stops here. Now. I need to move forward with my life, Caty, and I hope that includes you. I need you in my life. You can’t even know how important you’ve become to me.”

  Her eyes misted. “Strong men recognize they can’t do life on their own, Caleb. Thank you for entrusting Lauren to me. I know what a huge step that is. I don’t plan on going anywhere, and I’ll watch over her for however long you need.”

  “Thank you.”

  You need to tell her everything. Then Caty could make the conscious decision to walk out of his life or stay with the knowledge of what he was facing.

  “I’ve called Eliot to help me. Sorry to blurt it out like this, but I’ve received six kidnapping threats over the past few years, and I had another one waiting for me when we returned from lunch today.” Caleb hoped she wouldn’t ask what the note said. He might be strong, but if he had to repeat those words, he might break down.

  “Oh, Caleb.” Caty’s concern was obvious as she rested her hand on his arm. “Have you also called the authorities?”

  “No, and I’m not sure I will. I went that route in Dallas when someone came too close to Lauren at an after-hours school event. Without anything further to go on, they can’t do anything, even if they want to help.”

  “You could still try.”

  “I need to go,” he said, rising to his feet. “Forgive me. I shouldn’t have kissed you without first telling you what’s going on in my life. I shouldn’t ask you to do anything now. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything happened to either you or Lauren. You should stay clear of me. I don’t want to drag you into something potentially harmful.”

  Jumping off the loveseat, Caty moved ahead of him and barred the way to the door. “Maybe that’s not your decision.” Crossing her arms, she stared at him through defiant blue eyes.

  “Please move. I need to leave.”

  “I can see you’re also one of the most stubborn, infuriating men I’ve ever met in my life.”

  “I’m not going to argue. Step aside.”

  “I will not.”

  “I’ve never manhandled a woman. Don’t make me start now.”

  Taking hold of his shirt by the collar, Caty pulled him close, her eyes searching his. “Caleb, you trusted me enough to share what’s happening, so now you need to trust me to help you. Don’t you think I could tell that something is weighing heavily on you where Lauren is concerned? I’ll call Carson. He’s here in Houston through the weekend.”

  “You realize by doing that, I’ll be dragging someone else into this mess?” Shaking his head, Caleb groaned with frustration.

  “For once, could you please stop relying on yourself and depend on God and your friends?” Caty released her hold on his shirt. Stepping back, she smoothed her hand over the collar of his shirt.

  “I feel helpless,” he admitted. “That’s not something I handle well. I never have, and I doubt I ever will.”

  “Not many do, especially men, if you don’t mind my saying. You can’t give into the fear, Caleb. That’s what they want. Be stronger than they are. Put your trust in the Lord, but also go see Eliot. Like you said about the accounting discrepancies, we’ll figure this out. But this situation is so much more important because this time, it’s personal. If anyone can help you, Eliot can. From what Sam says, he’s like a well-trained bloodhound. Even better, he’ll pray with you every step of the way.”

  Caleb swallowed hard. “I don’t know what to say except…thank you for being willing to help with Lauren. That means more than you’ll ever know.”

  Her smile was compassionate. “I do know.”

  Taking out his wallet, Caleb handed over a credit card. “If you can, convince Lauren to branch out in her color choices. No black. No gray. Some color might be nice for a change.” Even though a maniac threatened his daughter, he had to maintain some sense of normalcy. He was accustomed to going through the motions.

  Caty took the card. “I’ll do my best. Promise me you won’t drive too fast.”

  “Define fast.” When she shot him a frown, he nodded. “Promise.”

  After planting a kiss on his cheek, Caty stepped aside. “Call me when you’re finished with your meeting. We’ll figure out where to meet.”

  “I will.”

  “Abide.”

  He nodded. “Abide. Thanks again, Caty.” With that, he opened the door and departed.

  As he’d expected, Lauren was ecstatic at the prospect of spending time with Caty. He’d grabbed his jacket after telling Cordelia the plan. Only a few minutes behind schedule, Caleb exited the parking garage. If the traffic cooperated, he should still be able to make it to Eliot’s in decent time.

  On and off during the past five years, he’d wondered if he’d find another woman to love. More like a woman who could love him. Did he have much to offer anymore? He’d noticed some gray hairs mixed in his beard lately, and that gave him more of an impetus to shave every day. Not that he minded getting old and gray.

  He just didn’t want to grow old and gray alone.

  “Abide,” he said in the quiet of the car.

  Chapter 25

  Caleb stared at Eliot. “You’re telling me to get a dog?” That was definitely something he’d never considered.

  “I’m advising you to get a guard dog. For your situation, it makes better sense than putting 24-hour security on Lauren. From what you’ve told me, you live in a fortress, and Lauren’s driver is a black belt. The cars are nearly as secure as a presidential motorcade, and Greenbriar-Browne is tantamount to a castle with top-of-the-line security.”

  “The only thing missing is the moat and drawbridge.” He’d leave Lauren enrolled in the school since he had no other valid options. Hopefully, she wouldn’t do anything to violate the terms of her probationary period. Given the latest threatening note, short of confining her to the house, Greenbriar-Browne was the best place for her. Lauren was making friends there, and she seemed to like her classes. He needed to get over his personal misgivings about the headmistress since Mrs. Winthorpe seemed to have Lauren’s welfare uppermost in
her mind. He needed to suck up his pride and not question or second-guess his decision in that regard.

  Caleb shifted in his chair. “This isn’t about money. I can pay whatever you’re asking in order to protect Lauren. You read what was in this most recent note.” He’d also made Eliot aware of the contents of the previous notes since he could recite them word-for-word from memory.

  Calm down, man. At the moment, he sure didn’t sound like a man who trusted in the Lord’s protection.

  Eliot checked his calendar. “I know it’s not about money, Caleb. I’m flying out of the country on an assignment early next week, and my available men are already contracted for other assignments. Even if I had a man available, I’d give you the same advice about getting a guard dog. For another thing, it wouldn’t be advisable to put male security detail on a girl Lauren’s age. It’s not an ideal situation.”

  “That makes sense. Do you have any female agents?”

  “Not for an assignment like this. I don’t give my female agents the dangerous assignments.”

  Caleb lifted a brow. “You consider my case dangerous?”

  “Insofar as there are existing threats, yes. As far as assigning women to a case, it has nothing to do with capability. I’ve served alongside plenty of females in the military.” Eliot’s gaze met his. “Attending a funeral for a woman killed in the line of duty was one of the toughest things I’ve ever done, especially since she had kids.”

  Caleb shook his head. “I can’t even imagine.”

  “If you’d still prefer to hire a security firm, I can give you some recommendations. You’re welcome to call them if you’d like.”

  He didn’t hesitate. “That’s not necessary. I trust you. You’re the man I need to help me.” Call it the nudging of the Holy Spirit or discernment, but in the lives of Caty and Eliot, it was as though Caleb could practically see the hand of the Lord upon them and working in their lives. A few short years ago, even as a Christian, he would have mocked the idea. But faith was real, and these people lived their faith.