Conflicted

by Heather Dahlgren

  “Actually, I’m glad you’re up. I just got a text from Young. Maddie is pregnant. She went to the doctor today to be sure, and she is two months along.” I can see the excitement in his eyes.

  “Uncle Dick.” He laughs, and his phone rings. He looks at me. “Get it. I’m not going anywhere.” He answers, and his smile gets bigger. Every time he talks with them, I can see how incredibly close they are just by the way he reacts. I can’t wait to finally meet them. They all seem so amazing.

  “Young, I’m so fucking happy for you. Maddie, I know you are nervous, but just think about it. You’ll be able to raise this baby with the love and support that you didn’t have. I think this will be the final step in your healing process. You will make an unbelievable mom.” I don’t even know these people, and I am crying. My man knows just what to say, and it makes my heart melt. He talks with them for a bit, and before I know it, I have drifted off to sleep.

  I open my eyes, and Keith is standing at the foot of my bed. I look at the clock and realize I’ve slept through the night. I’m going home today. I smile and sit my bed up. Keith turns to look at me and winks. “You ready to break out of here today?”

  “You have no idea. Well, actually, I guess you do.” He sits on the edge of my bed and moves my hair off my face.

  “I can’t wait to hold you in my arms tonight.” Damn, neither can I.

  “What time do we need to leave? Do I have time to shower because I’m feeling pretty gross?” He kisses my eyes, nose, and lips.

  “You could never be gross, but yes, you have plenty of time. I actually have mom and the girls meeting us here. Connie insisted on helping you get ready.” That’s why she’s my best friend. She knows I wouldn’t want to leave looking like ass.

  A half hour later, Connie walks in the room. “You look like shit. Let’s get you showered.” I look at Keith, and he shakes his head.

  “Never. You are gorgeous.” He helps me out of bed and into the bathroom.

  “I think I’ve got it from here, big brother.” He closes the door on her face and laughs.

  “I’ll help her shower, and you can help her with the girly shit.” He looks at me with a completely serious face. “You alright with that?” I lean forward and kiss him.

  “Absolutely.” He goes behind me to untie the gown. I’ve showered once before, but the nurse helped me, and this is much better. Once the gown is opened, he moves his way around front and carefully pulls it down, letting it fall to the floor. I’ve seen the bruising on my ribs, but he hasn’t, and he makes that clear when he looks at me with wide eyes.

  “Fuck, Mel. I’m so sorry.” He drops to his knees and begins kissing every bruise. It is so emotional for me. It’s like he is trying to erase the bad, and I am so grateful. I run my hands through his hair as he carefully continues. He finally looks up at me with those beautiful blue eyes overflowing with love. “I love you, Mel, so damn much. When I see you like this, it makes me crazy. I should have killed that piece of shit when I had the chance.” He looks back at my bruises, and I place my hand under his chin, lifting his head toward me.

  “I wouldn’t want that. I don’t want his blood on your hands. You have no idea how much you help me just by being here. I’d be lost without you, a shell of myself. You make me whole. You make me want to push on and fight.” He stands up and gently wraps his arms around me. He’s so gentle with me, thankfully, because I’m so nervous of my ribs being touched.

  “Let’s get you showered.” I know he is still focused on the bruises, but I look at him and smile. He pulls my panties off and turns on the shower. Once it’s warm enough, he helps me in. He won’t even let me wash myself. He uses a washcloth and tenderly washes my entire body. When it’s time for my hair, he actually climbs in the shower, fully clothed, and washes it for me. I tried to protest, but he just ignored me. I’ve never had someone take care of me in this way. He never ceases to amaze me. Once I’m all clean, he gets out and grabs a towel for me. He shuts off the shower and wraps me in the big white towel. He holds my hands, helping me out of the shower, and helps me dry off. He hasn’t said a word, and I am starting to wonder if this is too much for him. Once I’m all dry, he helps me put on with my bra and panties. He turns to leave, and I touch his arm.

  “Keith, don’t. Please. I’m alright.” He turns and looks at me.

  “You are not fine. I saw this happening to you, and I saw him punching you. I see these bruises, and it is like I let it happen. Instead of fucking killing him, I fucking pulled him off.” He scrubs his face and begins rubbing his neck.

  “If you are going to think like that every time you look at me, I don’t know how we are going to get past this. You got him to stop, whether it was shooting him or pulling him off. It doesn’t fucking matter, you stopped him. You are going to have to find a way to move past this, because if you can’t, I can’t.” He is looking at me, and before I know it, he slams his mouth to mine. I open my mouth and taste him for the first time in much too long. I moan in his mouth, and he runs his hands into my hair. We explore each other’s mouths like it is our first kiss. It is the most normal I’ve felt since this all happened. He pulls away and rests his forehead on mine.

  “I’m so sorry. You’re right. You just mean more to me than anyone in this world. I’d lay my life down for you.” He kisses my nose. “Now get your sexy ass dressed.” He leaves the bathroom, and Connie comes in to help me feel normal again.

  I’m free. As soon as I was dressed, the nurse was in there with my discharge papers, which wasn’t a moment too soon because we needed to leave to get to the courthouse. I’m now sitting next to Keith, holding his hand, silently showing my support. I hate that they all need to see his father. They are the next case, and I can see the nervousness in his mom and sisters. He, however, looks calm and collected. That is, until they call the case. I notice his grip on my hand get tighter, and his other hand fists into a ball. They begin to stand, but he turns and looks at me. “I love you.” He kisses me, and before I can say it back, he is ushering his family to the front. It takes about ten minutes for his father to be brought in, but once he comes in, it’s a total mood change. He looks over at them, and Connie and Karen begin to cry. Keith and his mom, however, just look straight ahead, not paying any attention to him. I can see it is bothering him and that actually makes me smile.

  “All rise.” I try, but by the time I get myself halfway up, the judge is already telling us to sit. I sit back down and listen to it all. They go through everything from all his arrests, his drinking problem, to the night he beat up Keith’s mom. It’s extremely difficult to listen to it all. Keith has his arms around his mom and sisters the entire time. When the judge asks if anyone has anything to say, I expect Keith to jump at it, but he doesn’t; however, his mom does. She looks right at her now ex-husband.

  “You used me, you abused me, and you caused my kids pain. That will never happen again. It’s taken time for me to realize it, but I have. I deserve better, I deserve happiness, and that is exactly what I’m going to go out and find. When you get out, we will all be gone, and it’s for the best. I’m happy for the first time since I met you, and I’ll be damned if you are going to ruin that for me. I wish you luck in your recovery. I hope you are able to find happiness one day, but it’s time for me to say goodbye, Mitch.” I wipe my tears as she turns back to the judge and nods her head. Keith kisses the side of her head, and they wait for the sentencing.

  “Mitch Dickson, you will serve six months in prison immediately followed by an inpatient rehab for a time to be determined. Court is adjourned.” He smacks down the gavel, and I watch Keith hug his family at the same time as I watch his father being taken through the door back to prison. The girls walk out of the courtroom, but Keith comes to help me. Once I’m up, and we walk outside the doors, I turn and look at him.

  “I love you too.” He smiles and kisses me.

  I am sitting in bed, bored as hell. I’ve been home since Friday, and it’s Sunday. Keith won’t let
me do anything. I’ve watched him pack and clean. He showers me and cooks for me. He contacted a moving company, and they are supposed to be here today. It’s driving me nuts because I need to make sure it’s done my way. He gave me a bell, a fucking bell, so if I need him, I just have to ring it. The first night it was fun, but now, I just want to get out of bed and get my own coffee. I sit there quietly and begin to smile when I hear the shower turn on. I toss the covers off me and slowly get myself out of bed. I make my way to the kitchen and see Connie sipping on her coffee. “He’s going to freak the fuck out when he finds out you’re out of bed.” She laughs when I flip her off. “Sit. I’ll get your coffee.” I sit down in the chair, happy as hell to be out of bed.

  “Thanks, Connie. I can’t sit there any longer. I’m bored as hell.” I look around amazed that everything is packed away. We are down to using paper cups and plates because everything is packed. It is really happening and soon. Keith talked with Campbell, who was able to find a beautiful rental for his mom in New Jersey. He also had his friends looking for an apartment for Connie, Karen, and Doug. They found one only two blocks from where I will be staying with Keith, which made me super excited because I didn’t want to be far away from Connie. With getting this all in place, I don’t think he’s slept more than a handful of hours since I’ve been home. We are all supposed to leave tomorrow. Keith got a moving truck for his mom and one for me, the girls, and Doug. We are going to help her and head to New York the following day. Keith said Campbell and Kenz’s parents are going to meet us there, so hopefully, they will all hit it off since she is moving very close to them. It all just seems unreal. I can’t believe in two days I will be in New York City.

  “Mel, what the hell are you doing? You need to be in bed.” Connie mumbles ‘told you so’ under her breath, and I want to kick her.

  “Keith, I need to get out of bed. I can’t lie around for another day. I won’t do anything, but I can’t be in there any longer. Not to mention, tomorrow, we will all be on a plane. I should get used to sitting in a damn seat.” Connie bursts out laughing, and Keith snaps his head to her.

  “Sorry, big brother, but I think you need to loosen the leash a bit there.” I try not to laugh, but she makes it hard.

  “First of all, I would NEVER keep Mel on a fucking leash. Enough with you and your dog references.” He turns to look at me and squats in front of me. “Second, I’m only doing it because I fucking love you so much. I don’t want to cause you a minute of pain. If you want to be out of bed, that’s fine, but the second you feel pain, you better tell me.” I lean forward and kiss his soft lips. I cross my heart and smile at him.

  “I promise.” He stands and kisses my cheek before moving to make himself a cup of coffee. He leans against the counter and sips it.

  “The moving van will be here in a few hours. Mom’s van is getting her stuff first, so I’m going to need to head over there to help. Connie, you need to stay with Mel until I’m back.” He sips his coffee again as Connie salutes him. “I talked to Campbell again today, and he gave your down payment to the landlord. He has the key and will meet us over there Tuesday when we get there. His mom and Kenz’s dad are meeting us at Mom’s place tomorrow to help get things in order. They said we didn’t have to stay the night, but I think we will see how it goes. Doug is going to bring his and Karen’s stuff over here shortly, but then meet me at Mom’s to help.” He crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows when Connie starts to laugh.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve just never seen anyone so fucking organized before. It’s really not funny; it’s fucking awesome. Thank you for everything you’ve done for us.” He gets a shy smile on his face while still looking at her.

  “I promised you I would.” Damn, my heart is just not strong enough to handle this. Everything he does or says makes me fall deeper in love with him. Not to mention, want to jump his bones. I’m dying here, and he won’t touch me until I’m healed. Connie blows him a kiss, and there is a knock on the door. Looks like Doug and Karen are a bit early. He goes to answer it, and I look over at Connie.

  “He is fucking amazing.” She nods her head in agreement. Keith comes back into the kitchen followed by the detective from the other day.

  “Mel, Detective Jones needs a minute of your time.” He sticks out his hand to shake mine. Keith stands right beside me, and I look up at him. He gives me that sexy wink. and I blow out a breath. I just want this to be over already.

  “I’ll be fast, Ms. Thompson. Mr. Jenson was in front of the judge today, and he pled guilty to all the charges. There isn’t going to be a trial. He was given a minimum of ten years because after further investigating, we found out this isn’t the first time he’s done something similar to this. The man who attacked you, he also pled guilty and was sentenced to fifteen years in prison. Neither of them is eligible for parole. Also, after their release, they will be on probation for a long time. You have no worries of them finding you ever again.” I feel the tears running down my face. The relief is incomprehensible. “I just wanted to personally give you the good news. I wish you all the best.” He shakes my hand and looks at Keith. “I’ll see myself out.” Keith shakes his hand, thanking him over and over again for all his hard work. He then gently holds me in his arms, letting me cry it all out. I finally pull back and look at him.

  “It’s over, sweetheart.” I nod my head and smile through my tears.

  “Thank God. Now take me to New York.”

  What a fucking whirlwind it’s been. Since Mel’s attack, I have been non-stop getting everything figured out to get us the hell out of there as soon as possible. It was sad for my mom and sisters this morning, saying good-bye to the only home they have known, but we are finally on our way to our new lives. We should be landing in Atlantic City, New Jersey in about a half hour. It is then an hour ride to Mom’s new place. I can’t keep the fucking smile off my face. In the past, when I leave my childhood home, it’s bittersweet. I hated leaving my mom and sisters, but I couldn’t wait to get home, to see my other family. This time, it’s the happiest moment of my life. I am bringing everyone I love back with me. My family is finally safe. I won’t ever get another phone call begging me to come home. It is fucking amazing. I look over to my right and see my girl. The absolute love of my life. She gave up everything to move with me, and I’ll never forget that as long as I live. My friends, the best group of people I have ever known, are finally going to meet my girl. I’ve never been happier in my life.

  Once we land, I keep an arm around Mel to make sure she isn’t exerting herself too much. I know she wants to do things on her own, but until a doctor tells me she can, she is just going to have to deal with my constant babying. We each only brought one carryon bag, and the rest we packed away in the moving vans, so we easily make our way through the airport. When we get outside, I stop dead in my tracks. Campbell, Kenz, Young, Maddie, Becca, and Jeff, Becca’s boyfriend that Young told me about a while back, are all waiting for us. “Holy shit,” I whisper to myself, and Mel looks up at me. “You see that small group right there?” She looks to where I point and nods her head. “Those are all my friends.” She gives me that breathtaking smile. “You ready to meet them?”

  “I wish I would have been able to shower first, but yes, I can’t wait to meet them.” I chuckle and kiss her plump lips.

  “You always take my breath away.” She blushes, and I’m so fucking happy I still have that effect on her. Not to mention, I am happy as hell that just over a week later, she only has light bruising on her face and a few small cuts. I grab her hand and start over to them. As soon as Kenz sees me, she screams, alerting the rest of them we are there.

  “Dick.”

  “Dickhead.” They yell, and I start to feel like I’m home. I squeeze Mel’s hand and head straight for them. I look back to make sure my mom, sisters, and Doug are following, which they are. I reach them, and Campbell grabs me first.

  “Damn, Dick, it is good to finally have you home. We missed you.” He pulls back and lo
oks at Mel with a smile. “You are obviously Mel. I’m Campbell; it is a pleasure to finally meet you.” She lifts her hand with the cast and drops it quickly.

  “Shit, sorry.” She holds out her other hand, and Campbell shakes it. “It is so nice to finally meet you too. Keith has told me so many wonderful things about you all. I feel like I already know you.” He laughs and looks at me.

  “Keith, huh?” Mel giggles beside me, and I just flip him off. Young, Maddie, Kenz, Becca, and even Jeff come over.

  “Dickhead, you douche! Welcome home.” After a quick hug, he pushes me out of the way and grabs Mel’s hand. “Hello, sexy.” He leans in to kiss her neck, and before I can even get a shot on him, Maddie smacks his head.

  “Down, boy.” She hugs me, and I kiss her cheek.

  “Congratulations, Maddie. You are going to make an amazing mom.” I hear her sniffle, and I’m taken back. “Don’t cry, Maddie. It’s going to all work out.” She pulls back, wiping her eyes.

  “I’m not crying because I’m sad. It’s these fucking hormones. I can’t fucking control them. I’m turning into one of those girls that I always wanted to punch right in her tits!” Everyone laughs, Mel included. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’m not usually like this.” She hugs Mel, and I can’t get the fucking smile off my face.

  “It is so nice to meet you, Maddie.” Kenz grabs me in a hug next.

  “Dick, I’m so happy you are home. We’ve been lost without you. I heard what happened to Mel, and I’m sorry we weren’t there for you, but we are here now.” This right here, this is why they are my best friends. I kiss her cheek.

  “Thank you, Kenz. Congratulations again on your engagement. I’m so honored to be a part of the wedding.” She shows me her ring with so much excitement. “Beautiful.”

  “You going to introduce us?” I wrap my arm around Mel.

  “Kenz, this is Mel. Mel, this is Kenz.”