Balance (The Divine, Book One)

by M. R. Forbes

  “How can you be here?” I asked her, clothing myself in a simple black t-shirt and sweats before she could see me.

  “You invited me,” she replied.

  “How?”

  Sarah giggled again. “You called to me, and I came. There is so much you still have so little control over. Like him.” She jerked her head towards Ulnyx. “You have trapped his soul, yet he refuses to do your bidding when it does not suit him.”

  “I can’t make him,” I said.

  “No? Ulnyx, stand up,” she Commanded. He kicked out the piano bench and stood. “This is your Source brother. If you cannot rule here, you will continue to fail.”

  Continue to fail? I looked at the Were. His expression was contained, a mixture of surprise and anger. The way he had jumped at her Command. This was my dream, my world, and yet she had more power in it then I did. The thought drove me to anger.

  “How do I learn control, when there is no one to teach me?” I asked, my voice almost a snarl.

  “You do not need to learn, all you must do is ask why. Why are you?” She hadn’t reacted at all to my outburst. She remained calm, unaffected.

  “I don’t know,” I said. Why were any of us? According to Dante, we were just pieces in a puzzle that did not fit, figures in a game with no end.

  “The game cannot continue if you do not play.” Sarah hopped over to me and looked up into my eyes. “Why are you?” she asked again.

  I looked from Ulnyx, to her, and back. Continue to fail... His static posture was a representation of every failure I had experienced since Mr. Ross had left me on Lady Liberty. Yeah, I was still alive, but I had remained that way because of dumb luck. Every scrape I had been in had resulted in somebody intervening to save my sorry ass. Even now Sarah was here, showing me how powerless I truly was. Ulnyx had been right. I was pathetic.

  “I don’t know,” I growled, the feeling of hopelessness spreading from the inside out.

  “This world is your Source, brother,” Sarah said, maintaining her perfect calm. “Its oceans are boundless, its mountains endless. Would you be a flea, or a titan? Why are you?”

  “I don’t know. How did you find me?” I was losing control of myself. Every word she spoke increased my anger, my frustration, and my despair.

  “I didn’t find you,” she said. “You found me.”

  It was yet another statement that made no sense. I hadn’t been looking for her. How could I have been looking for her? “I wasn’t looking for you,” I yelled.

  “And yet you found me. Why were you looking?” she asked, calm, emotionless, serene. I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “I wasn’t,” I shouted, willing her out of my mind. She cried out in pain and was gone. The anger did not subside as easily. I could feel it permeating the entire world around me, staining everything with its pallid darkness. I turned to Ulnyx.

  “You! Where the hell were you when I needed you?”

  The Great Were looked at me, but didn’t make a sound. I walked over to him and lifted him into the air by the throat. He didn’t react.

  “Why am I?” I asked, shaking him. “Why am I?”

  His lips split in a mocking grin. Even in my fury, I could not make him obey.

  I held him aloft, my fingers sinking deeper and deeper into his throat. Everything around me was black, the room quivering and oozing as I stained my Source with my anger, my evil intent. It was more than just Ulnyx. I wanted to destroy, to ruin, to end. Why had I been chosen to be reborn, when all I could accomplish was failure?

  The Belmont crumbled away, and I found myself standing in a wasteland, a world desiccated by my will. The realization was a ten-ton anvil, stealing all of the anger from my soul and slamming me over the head into an instant state of calm. I dropped the Were and took a step back. All at once, the world reversed itself, snapping back to its original state.

  Why was I? It was such a simple question with such an elusive, simple answer. The question was a trick, a misdirection, and a lie. It didn’t matter why I was. Asking the question was more important than answering it, the point was that I made the effort to know and understand. To recognize who I was, and what I could become.

  Sarah had brought me to anger to show me. No, I had brought Sarah here to show myself. I was of good, and of evil, and my power was a strange concoction of both. How could I hope to truly control any of it if I refused to accept equal parts? Everything rotated in balance, and I was no exception.

  As I resolved the truth within myself, I could feel the power wash over me, a wave of energy that soaked into me like water, like blood. It came from nowhere, and everywhere. It had not been created, but released. It was my Source, it ran from my soul, and for better or worse, it was answering my call.

  I looked over at Ulnyx, still kneeling on the floor, still wearing his crap-eating grin.

  “Get up,” I said.

  I could feel the charge in the air, as if it had just been ionized by a lightning strike. The smile faded from his face.

  “Get up,” I repeated, my voice calm.

  He didn’t look like he wanted to, but he rose to his feet.

  “If I call on your power, you will provide it,” I told him.

  His eyes burned with hatred, but he nodded.

  What had I been looking for? Understanding - of myself foremost. Who better to help me understand than one who lived as I had died? It seemed crazy to think that I could have intended to wind up down in the sewers, taking a direct path to what was the world’s only directly descended half-angel, half-demon. It seemed insane that in the entire world she was in the same city, always so close by. Yet so many things could have happened to me. So many choices made that could have brought me somewhere else, led me in another direction, or pulled me off this course.

  Maybe what seemed crazy wasn’t so crazy after all. Could I say for sure that I hadn’t been looking for her, that my soul hadn’t brought me here? Dante had said that in order to come into my full power, I had to let go of what I knew as a human and accept what I had become. My Source was a reflection of the world and my place in it. I would create, destroy, love, hate, and most of all survive, because my Source, my soul demanded balance. It was why I was. The question may have been a trick, but that didn’t mean it had no answer.

  Chapter 15

  I woke with a start, my eyes flicking open to look at the apex of the tent above me. I felt something pressing into my shoulder, turned my head, and found Sarah there, her head resting on my arm and her body curled into a tight little ball. I remembered what I had done to her in my Source and felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over me. I reached over with my other hand and stroked her head.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. She was asleep.

  “Landon.” I turned my head to the other side. Rebecca had snuck up on me, and was leaning over me with her hand on my other shoulder. How did she do that? “Are you okay?”

  It was a good question. I took a deep breath, turned my attention inward on myself. I felt good, really good. I was ready to accept myself in equal parts. Not all good, not all bad. Just me.

  “Yeah,” I replied. I looked back at Sarah, “How long?”

  “Two days. Sarah hasn’t left your side the entire time, but I think she’s been having some pretty rough dreams. She was crying in her sleep.” I looked back to Rebecca and noticed she had changed. She was wearing a pair of camouflage cargo pants and a tight black thermal henley. Her hair was tied back into a single ponytail. She looked like she was ready for war.

  “We need to go,” I said.

  Rebecca smiled, showing off her fangs, and moved around to help me untangle myself from Sarah. Before she could touch her, the girl woke up.

  “Landon,” she said, her voice so much smaller and childish than I had remembered it. She pushed herself into a kneeling position next to me. “You are leaving.”

  “I have to go,” I told her.

  “Stay,” she Commanded. I could feel the power of her word and her mind pulling at my
will.

  “No,” I said, both with my mouth and in my mind. I had thought my rejection would upset her, but she smiled.

  “You must continue your journey,” she said. “You have found what you were looking for, and for that I am glad. Do not feel sorry for the way you handled me, it was what you needed to do.” She had known what I was thinking, and pre-empted my second apology. “I will be thinking of you, brother, and wishing the best for you.“

  I wasn’t ready to just leave her like that. “Sarah, Rebecca told me you were having dreams.”

  She stiffened up, the change in her demeanor almost imperceptible. “Sometimes I dream of what came before Izak saved me,” she lied. “I am thankful to have a brother to protect me. When you can, I hope you will return to visit.”

  Protect her? From her father? Understanding myself was one thing. Defending anybody from a major demon was something totally different. I wasn’t about to argue that with her though.

  “I will,” I said. I sat up, leaned forward and wrapped her in a tight hug. “Thank you.” I had found what I had been looking for, but it wouldn’t have been possible without her help.

  I released her from the embrace and got to my feet, then reached out and took Rebecca’s hand, surprising her with my boldness.

  “We’ve got work to do,” I told her.

  As we headed out the door of the tent, I noticed Izak sitting motionless in the corner near the food stores, just watching. I gave him a small wave that he didn’t return, and then we were gone.

  The inhabitants of the small community paid us no more attention on the way out as they had on the way in, turning away as we neared and staying occupied until we had passed. We slipped out of the sewer through a small access tunnel further south, catching up as we followed it towards our hopeful exodus from the underground.

  “I hope you don’t mind,” Rebecca said as we walked. “I picked your pocket and stole some money so I could get some new clothes.”

  “You got one of the Awake to sell you those?” I motioned to the militant outfit. “You look like you’re ready to join the Army. I wouldn’t call it stealing, since I would have given it to you.”

  “I had to give the money to Izak. This is what he brought back for me.”

  “He spoke to you?”

  “No. I told him what I needed, he held out his hand, I gave him some money, and he brought this back. Its better than that beat up dress.”

  I took a look at myself. I hadn’t been strong enough to fix myself up earlier, and hadn’t thought of it before now. I was still wearing the penguin suit, as shredded and bloodied as it was. I pushed, and watched it change into a matching outfit.

  “It’s fitting I guess,” I said. “Our own little army.”

  “Two against infinity,” she said with a humorless laugh.

  “Three,” I replied.

  I hadn’t thought about Obi until now. I wondered if he knew what had happened. I could imagine the word had hit the forums, and he was no doubt keeping a sharp lookout for any reported sightings of either of us. It was strange to have so much faith in him, despite our short acquaintance. I told Rebecca about how we had met, and then since she had thrown her entire life away to save me, I told her about everything else too, from Ulnyx, to the Demon Queen, to the Chalice. I got the feeling she was a little jealous when I told her about Josette, but she didn’t say anything to confirm my theory.

  “So what about you?” I asked her.

  We had stopped below a manhole, finishing our conversation before climbing back into the world above. We stood facing one another, close enough that her sweet scent kept wafting across my senses.

  “What about me?”

  “You told me that you were obligated to obey your father, but you helped me anyway.”

  “I told you that we had a choice to obey, or to challenge.”

  “I thought you couldn’t defeat your father.”

  She looked down at the ground. “I can’t,” she said.

  I reached out and put my hand under her chin, lifting her face. “Rebecca.” Tears ran from her eyes as she looked at me. ‘Why would you do that?”

  “Like I said, there’s just something about you.” She was lying.

  “You can’t lie to me Rebecca,” I said, wiping away some of the tears with my thumb.

  She took my hand in hers, squeezed it, and pushed it away. “No, I suppose I can’t,” she replied. “That doesn’t mean I have to tell you anything, and you don’t have the power to Command.”

  Wait a second. “I don’t?”

  “Sarah does, because she’s first-generation,” she explained. “You don’t have any direct control over the Divine, because you aren’t a direct descendent. You may be able to control the Were, but that’s because you’ve already captured his soul.”

  “Oh.” Not that I would have used it on her, except maybe to prevent her from throwing her life away for me. “How long?”

  “I already sent him the challenge while you were asleep,” she said. “Tomorrow night at the Statue.”

  I could feel the growing lump in my throat. It seemed like I was destined not to have many friends for very long.

  “What can I do to help?” I asked.

  She wiped the rest of the tears away herself. “I don’t think there’s anything you can do.”

  I had an idea. “Hold on... what about the amulet? He can’t hurt you if you’re wearing it.”

  “Landon, you’re sweet. I can’t use the amulet. It would be cheating. If I gave up my honor, I would be no better than any other demon. I don’t believe we have to operate that way to survive, and if you look at the situation my kind is in, it’s the change that I’m fighting for so we can thrive as we deserve. We have a physical and mental superiority to humans, we have a numerical superiority to most other Divine, but we’re relegated to slinking about at night, hiding from daylight, and using the majority of our strength figuring out where and how to get our next meal. For as much as I dislike feeding on humans, I have still done it, and will again if it means their life or mine. With my research cut off, that seems more and more likely.” She reached up and took hold of the ladder. “If I can defeat Merov, I will earn access to everything he has. It will all become mine, and I can continue my work. It’s a long shot, but the risk is worth it to me.”

  “What about Reyzl?” I asked.

  “You’re going to take care of Reyzl,” she said. She winked at me, and climbed the ladder, pushing the cover aside with ease.

  Take care of Reyzl. Right. I reached inward and touched on Ulnyx’s soul. I could feel the power respond to my mental tap. Maybe with the Great Were’s help I would stand a chance.

  We exited the sewer onto an empty street. It took me a minute to get my bearings, but we weren’t too far from the Belmont. It was midday, and the sun was out. I pulled Rebecca into the shadows.

  “Can you manage?” I asked.

  She reached under her henley and pulled out the amulet. “As long as this thing works, I should be fine,” she said. She stepped tentatively out into the sunlight. She squinted her eyes, and moved back into the cover of the building. “It’s not working,” she said. What?

  I reached into my pocket and pulled out the necklace I had claimed from Ulnyx. I knew this one worked, I had seen it do its thing. I swapped it with hers. “Try this.”

  She stepped out into the sunlight again, and then retreated. “No good,” she told me.

  “I don’t get it,” I said. “I saw Ulnyx use that one to heal. I know it works.” She handed the amulet back to me, and I looked at it in disgust.

  “Maybe they don’t work on vampires,” she suggested. “Let’s just try to stay in the shade.”

  Dante hadn’t said anything about there being exceptions to the amulet’s usefulness. There had to be something else going on, something we didn’t know about. If he came calling again, maybe he would have the answer.

  We covered the last few blocks by sticking to the darkness and running across t
he open sunlight when necessary. Punkmo’s eyes bugged out of his head when I held the door for Rebecca to let her into the Hotel. I could feel him ogling her until we had passed the front desk and started up the stairs.

  “You must get that all the time,” I said to her. “Not that I blame him, you are beautiful.”

  She smiled, her pale face adding just a hint of redness. “I’m used to it from mortals, it comes with the territory. It means more coming from you.”

  “Consider yourself flattered,” I replied, stopping and turning to face her. “I thought so the first time I saw you, after you threw me onto the floor of the closet. Of course, I was scared witless of you at the same time, so it was kind of a unique situation. Still...”

  I didn’t get to finish talking, because she wrapped her arms around me and put her lips to mine. I didn’t get to kiss her either, because at that moment the stairwell door above us slammed open, and Obi came tumbling out. Following right behind him was a demon. It twisted in the air, using its thick leathery wings to balance itself while it planted its claws on the opposite wall to spring downwards towards him. It shrieked through a short, fang-filled snout.

  I felt Rebecca tensing to move, and I held out my hand. “I’ve got this one,” I said.

  I focused my will and sprang forward, launching up the steps like a rocket, the momentum carrying me over Obi as he turned onto his back with the Desert Eagle raised above his chest. I heard the gunfire, and felt the bullet rip through my leg, but I didn’t pay it any mind. I reached out with my hand and caught the demon’s bald head, slamming the creature down onto the steps, its skull shattering beneath the force. Before it could recover, I twisted and pulled, ripping its head off.

  Once it was dead, I recognized the pain the bullet had caused. I looked down at my leg, watching it knit back together, the process slowed by the silver. Then I looked at Obi. He was still sprawled out on the steps, his forehead covered in sweat and his breathing ragged. He gawked at me with huge, relieved eyes.

  “Holy crap man, sorry about the leg,” he said. “You picked the right time to show up though. There are two more incoming. I shot them in the head but these assholes don’t stay down long.”