by Anna Antonia
Unclenching my fists, I walked over to the bed and sat down on the end of it. I would rather have been anywhere else. The street. A museum. The airport. I concentrated on my breathing. A lifetime of habit was difficult to go against, but Gabriel was worth me doing it.
Don’t make any hasty decisions. Give him the benefit of the doubt.
It was probably more than fifteen minutes when the knock came, but it only felt like a few minutes. Standing up, I smoothed my hands down my pants. I was scared that everything would change for the worse once I opened that door.
Another knock, louder this time, along with Gabriel’s “Emma?”
In a fog, I turned the handle and opened the door. Gabriel’s incredibly blue eyes seemed to be lit from within. He dismissed Mr. Davis with a quick nod and then suffocated me in a rib-crushing hug.
“Emma, baby, I missed you so much!”
“I missed you too.” My greeting was no less true despite the photograph and the questions bubbling in my throat.
Gabriel pulled back. The happiness in his gaze dimmed. “Have you had lunch?”
That was the first thing he said to me? Not “Emma, I saw Embry yesterday to tell her that we’re never getting back together and to stay away from my family. Now let me take you to the best chocolate croissant place in Paris.”
Perhaps it was unfair but that just pissed me off.
“Gabriel?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Why did you let me think that you were in the U.S. when you were actually here?”
Gabriel squeezed my arms lightly. “It wasn’t my intention to mislead you.”
“But you did.”
He let me go and blew out a long breath. “Emma, let me explain.”
I took a step back. “Goddamnit, Gabriel. Are we back to this again? Over her?” I reached for the paper and hit him in the chest with it. “The last time you did this I found out you were a Dom. What am I going to find out now, Gabriel?”
Gabriel took the paper and didn’t bother to look down at it. He already knew what was printed inside.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t see it.”
The hell? “Is that why you’re getting here so late? You’re so tired?”
“I don’t follow.”
“Surely you’re tired after going to your glamorous function last night with your equally glamorous petite amie.”
“Emma, don’t. It wasn’t exactly like that.”
“Gabriel, I’m trying really hard right now not to think the worst of you. I’m trying to hear your side but you’re not going with it. You’re wasting my time with your bullshit.”
“You have to let me explain.”
I yanked the paper out of his hand and held up in the air. “I got a picture of you with Embry. While I was eating dinner by myself at a café, you were at a fancy function with your ex-fiancée.”
“I didn’t plan for that to happen.”
“But she was there.” I laughed, an ugly hollow sound. “Her arm is in yours. She’s smiling. You’re smiling.” I went cold. “Where is she staying?” I already knew the answer but I needed to hear it from him.
He closed his eyes. “With me. I couldn’t…last night, Emma…I couldn’t say no to her. I’m sorry. I never meant for anything between us to happen.”
“Did you sleep with her?”
“I’m sorry.”
I felt enraged, raw, and heartbroken. I’d let this man into my life and given him everything there was to give. I was wrong to trust him. I was wrong to think a man like him, one who’d been petted and adored by women his whole life, could ever change. Could ever be the man for me.
I loved him and this was I got in return for that love. Betrayal, humiliation, and a broken heart.
“Gabriel, please leave.”
His eyes flew open. Panic sparked like a live wire. “No.”
“I want you out of my room. I want you to pull your security off. I want you out of my life.”
“Emma…”
“Get the fuck out!”
Except none of it happened because it was all in my head. I was still standing in front of the door. Gabriel knocked again, louder, and I couldn’t put our reunion off any further.
“Emma? Baby? Can you hear me?”
But I was very afraid that as soon as I let Gabriel in, my imagination would come to life. We’d be done and over. I was terrified of what he would say, of what that printed picture could mean.
“Emma?”
It was always doors. For me beginnings and endings always revolved around doors. I reached for the handle and opened the portal, prepared to face what my life had in store for me next.
NINETEEN
Gabriel rushed inside and lifted me off my feet in a bear hug, spinning us both. After a few dizzying turns, he kissed my cheek and then buried his face in my neck.
“Baby, I’m so happy to see you. I have so much to tell you.”
I hugged him back unable, as I recently imagined, to help myself. The fear left a lump in my throat.
Trust him.
“I missed you too, Gabriel. You know your uncle came to see me just now, right?”
He didn’t put me down. “I know. He was so pissed with me earlier that I’m not surprised that he came to see you. If I wasn’t caught up in traffic I would’ve gotten here first.”
Gabriel pulled back and kissed me sweetly. Pleasure swam through my veins. I loved the feel of his incredibly soft lips and the way his breath became mine. My arms crept around his neck, anchoring Gabriel closer to me.
The questions didn’t disappear, but they faded to a dim. I recognized that I was in danger of letting my love and passion for Gabriel influence my judgment. Then again, if this was to be goodbye then I had to make it be one I wouldn’t feel regret over.
Trust him.
Gabriel murmured my name as he kissed me over and over again, whispering how much he loved me. I whispered the same back to him. Being with Gabriel felt right so why did we have so much against us? Why was there a picture of him with someone else in the newspaper?
Trust him.
Long minutes later and when our lips were beautifully swollen, we finally broke for air.
“Emma, I don’t want to let you go.”
“Then don’t.”
“All right. We’ll stand here forever then. Eventually, we’ll become a point of interest for tourists across the world.”
“You’re so silly.”
He responded to my whisper with one of his own. “Silly is so much better sometimes, isn’t it? Can’t we stay silly forever until all our problems disappear?”
Secure in his arms, I leaned back so I could trace the lines of his beloved face. “I’m afraid not.” I plunged forward. “Gabriel, I saw the paper.”
Sadness tugged at his mouth. “I know you did. I’m sorry, Emma, that there was ever a damned picture in the first place. I know it looks bad, but please believe me—it doesn’t show the whole chain of events. Embry was not my date and I did not go there with her.”
All the previous thoughts of raging against him evaporated like smoke. No matter how bad things looked, there was no way Gabriel had been unfaithful to me. I could feel the story beneath my fingertips and the writing in my heart.
“Tell me what happened.”
Gabriel carried me over to the bed. He sat me down in the middle and then took his place at the end. I crossed my legs and waited to hear what had brought the latest burden to his shoulders.
“Where should I start?”
“Why don’t you start with Embry? Specifically, that picture.”
Gabriel’s mouth pressed into a flat line. “I don’t know yet who was paid to have the picture in the paper, but I’m confident Embry was behind it. She liked the press.”
I didn’t have to question it. In a moment of insanity a month before, I’d made the mistake of snooping online and found a slew of pictures of them together. I wasn’t proud of myself for looking and I didn’t relish the hurt that
came from seeing it.
“So how did you two end up at the same place? Coincidence?”
“I’m not that unlucky. Lucas brought Embry. The papers got a picture of us as we were leaving. What the newspaper doesn’t show is that she stumbled and grabbed onto my arm. Nor does it show how I handed her off back to Lucas after she straightened again. Nor does it tell the story of what happened last night afterwards.”
It made sense. I believed him but I still wasn’t happy that he’d kept his presence here a secret from me.
“Why didn’t you tell me any this when you texted? Better yet, why didn’t you tell me that you were here? You knew I thought you were in the States.”
Gabriel looked incredibly tired and more than a bit guilty. “I was being selfish, Emma, and doing exactly what I tell you not to do. If anything, I understand why you want to handle everything on your own more than ever.”
I appreciated his admittance. I leaned forward and patted his leg in encouragement. “That’s good to hear, Gabriel. Maybe you won’t come down on me so hard next time.”
“Probably not. I’m likely to forget all about it next time!” He placed his hand over mine. The warmth felt reassuring. “I really didn’t want my family issues to spill onto you. When my mama told me about Lucas coming over, I didn’t want to take the chance of coming to you anyways and having a repeat of last time in the penthouse. So I stayed.”
I took in his words and put myself in his place. “I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand.”
Relief slackened his broad shoulders. He looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes. “A saint. My sweet Emma truly is a saint beyond compare.”
“Not even close. Okay, maybe this time.”
“Absolutely this time! A month ago you would’ve kicked me out of your room and dumped for being a no-good cheater. Even though I didn’t cheat, just so you know.”
I crawled forward until my feet were in his lap. Gabriel’s hands circled my ankles. “I know you didn’t. But I have to admit when I first saw that picture I did want to curse you out.”
“I don’t blame you, Emma. I wanted to curse me out for even going. An old friend of my mama’s invited us to her cousin’s garden party and I knew how much it would make her happy to go.”
“You’re so sweet, Gabriel. A bowl of chocolate.” I pecked his lips. Gabriel pecked me back and then lifted my leg to kiss the inside of my ankle, causing me rest back on my elbows.
“Embry crashed the party then.”
“Yes and no. The invitation included Lucas and he decided it would be appropriate to bring her. Of course, he arrived separately and late with her in tow. There was nothing we could do without causing a scene and potentially ruining the party.”
A flicker of pity for Embry registered. I imagined she was desperate to reconnect with Gabriel that she’d force herself to come to a place where she might not exactly have been welcomed.
Feel sorry for Embry? You really must be letting Gabriel’s saint talk get to you!
It didn’t change the fact that I did feel sorry for her.
“Okay, that explains how you ended up splashed all over print and probably the internet, but why’d you show up yesterday and not even tell me? Were you getting me back for earlier this week?”
Gabriel’s mouth dropped open. His brows snapped together in an expressive frown. “Emma! How dare you!” Faster than I could blink, he flipped me over on my belly and landed three sharp smacks to my still-sore tail. “I would never do that to you!”
“Hey! This is not your space and not your rules!” I complained over my shoulder.
“Tough. I’ve annexed this room under my domain. So it’s my space, my rules.” Gabriel turned me over and then wagged his finger at me. “Now you take that back, girl.”
“Hmph. I take it back.”
An angelic smile floated over his perfect lips. “Thank you.”
“Maybe I should pop you for your badness. After all, this is my room.”
“But I annexed it, Emma.”
“I annex it back.
Gabriel considered me and then shook his head resolutely. “Nope. It’s still mine.”
I flounced back onto the bed. “Continue your story please before we go to war over the annexing. Why’d you come to Paris yesterday instead of today?”
“Emma, I got the idea yesterday to surprise you. That changed because my mama needed to get here fast.” A rogue smile appeared. “And before you think you’re getting in deep with a mama’s boy—well, you’re kinda right but kinda wrong. This time was innocent. I swear!”
I laughed, tickled by his unrepentant adoration for Marie. “I think it’s sweet. My Gabriel loves his mama very much.”
“Yes, ma’am.” His perfect imitation of a southern accent hit all the right spots. The grin faded as he continued. “But she didn’t come over to intrude on our trip, Emma. She came over because she didn’t want my uncle to have free reign over intruding on our trip.
“We couldn’t stop him from leaving, unless we locked him up, but I didn’t have enough time to arrange that.”
Although said lightly, I didn’t think Gabriel was joking.
“So the least we could do was have my mama run interference. Lucas listens to her when he won’t listen to anyone else.”
“How did he know I was even here?”
Gabriel tapped the tip of my nose. “Because he knew wherever you go, I follow.”
“And he was probably keeping tabs on me the whole time.”
“Afraid so.” Gabriel shrugged off his coat and threw it on the floor.
We needed some levity. So I rolled up onto my knees and crossed my arms. “Gabriel.”
“Emma.”
“You shouldn’t throw your coat on the floor. It’ll get dirty.”
“I know. I just did it to hear you nag.”
Biting my lip, I felt the blush creeping across my cheeks. “I don’t nag.”
“Oh, baby, you do. That’s okay. It makes me smile and I need that today.”
Concern for him cut my probable nagging short. “What happened when you and your mom got to Paris, Gabriel?”
“Everything. Lucas showed up. We expected that. We didn’t expect Embry. She stayed the night as his guest and then proceeded to try to get me alone every chance she got. I ended up taking refuge in the library but eventually she found me there. Embry…well, she did some things to try to seduce me back to her side.”
I remembered how Gabriel told me early on that he wouldn’t kiss and tell about any of the women he’d been with. My imagination went destructively wild as I pictured Embry stripping bare and kneeling, maybe with a flogger in her hands or strips of rope.
“I don’t like that,” I admitted softly. “I don’t like that at all, Gabriel.”
Jealousy turned in my mind like a worm. I was still threatened by Embry, by what she represented to Gabriel and Lucas. It wasn’t well done of me but I felt it anyways.
I wasn’t sure if I’d ever feel comfortable with her being close to the Gordons.
“I’m sorry, my love. I didn’t like it either. I wanted to come to you immediately and not because I was tempted. I wasn’t. But if I left afterwards she would think she got to me and would just keep pushing.” Gabriel cast about, trying to find the right words. “When I found you at the stadium and we got into it, I couldn’t help but think of her actually.”
I bit back my instinctual, snappish response. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make my angry expression disappear as easily.
“It’s not like what you’re thinking right now, baby. Never that. It’s just that for the first time I felt like I really understood her and her feelings for me. And the others too. The nicer you were to me, the more you kept saying about how it was all for me, the more I didn’t want to hear it. It hurt so much worse because you were being so nice.”
That made sense.
“I didn’t think I was being nice. I felt like a monster actually.”
“You don�
��t have it in you to be a monster. Me on the other hand…” Gabriel continued softly, “I never loved Embry but I don’t wish to see her so unhappy. Now that I think I understand her better, I wished she’d never loved me at all. It would be so much easier for Embry to write me off as a coldblooded asshole.”
Out of any other man’s mouth it would’ve sounded disingenuous. I knew Gabriel meant it. Once again, the memories of the girls in high school wisped into life. Their ecstasy and grief couldn’t just be dismissed as the fervor of adolescent adoration.
“Girls can’t help but love you, Gabriel.”
He didn’t want to hear it. “Money has its way of making that love come easier. If I wasn’t a Gordon, I don’t think I would’ve been nearly as popular.”
“Don’t sell yourself so short. It’s not the money. It’s you. It’s the goodness inside you. I remember how it was, Gabriel. No matter how big of a scene your girlfriends created, you never raised your voice or retaliated in kind. You also never strung them along once they loved you, did you?”
He shook his head. Gabriel looked heartbreakingly young and vulnerable. “It was a strange hell. Everybody loved me but you and I would’ve traded it all just for one of your smiles.”
My gaze didn’t slide away. “I would’ve loved you the most if I’d let myself even have a fraction of a chance. And I loved you anyways even though I didn’t want to.”
Gabriel blinked quickly. He rubbed his hand over his eyes, obviously more than a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry. Sometimes my feelings get away from me.”
“Then we’re even. Mine are always running away.”
“Baby, it’s a fucking disaster. I’ve been trying to make it work during the last day and half, but I can’t. Lucas really believes that if you’re out of the picture then everything will fall in its place.”
“I know. It’s what we talked about downstairs.”
Gabriel groaned and fell back on the bed. I fell right alongside him. “He just doesn’t understand our love, Emma.”
“I know. He doesn’t trust me. He also doesn’t think I’m good enough for you.”
“Shows what he knows.” Gabriel reached for my hand and kissed the back of it. “You’re the best for me and always will be. If he doesn’t understand then we’ll just leave and make our own way in the world.”