That was all water under the bridge now, as their therapist liked to say. They needed to press forward and not dwell on the past. They needed to be upstanding adults to each other and the rest of the community, and they needed to show each other that they loved one another. That was the only way that their lives would be whole again. Once they accepted one another for who the other was, only then would they start to feel like they were part of something like a family.
Hidden Passions
~ Bonus Story ~
A First Time Straight To Gay Lesbian Romance
Pride always comes before a fall but Teri Alexander had little idea just how hard she would fall after she finally swallowed her pride and reached out to the cold, but beautiful, Nicola M Clarke. Everything for the children – always for the children. But at what point does the arrangement stop being a financial agreement and become one of uncontrollable desire and hidden passion? The tug-of-war that will inevitably drive both parties insane in no slow manner begins in a simple misunderstanding and ends in sheer lust and chaos! Worlds apart, their realities merge into an entangled affair incapable of allowing either woman the ending of their choice. But what is worse – losing your mind or losing the one you cannot live without? Will Nicola solve the riddle in time before the illusion shatters forever? This time it’s not for the children…
* * *
Teri’s stressful work-day would have ended in the usual exhausted collapse if the computer screen didn’t suddenly send her into an immediate panic. She cursed under her breath as the forgotten meeting reminder popped up.
She grabbed her things frantically, careful not to slam the aging, cooked door as she hurriedly searched for the restaurant on Google Maps. She wouldn’t normally agree to a wine-and-dine scenario with possible funders. But she was desperate for the money, more so than she’d admit. If she bagged this grant, her financial woes would be something of the past – at least for the next couple of years.
By the time she reached the restaurant for which she was completely underdressed, her shoulder-length blonde hair was coming undone over her flushing cheeks and she looked like and out-of-breath madwoman.
She was only 10 minutes late (okay 14 minutes) but she started panicking as she quickly scanned the classy venue for the well-known face that she had yet to encounter in person.
“Can I help you ma’am?” the hostess queried.
“Miss,” she corrected habitually. “Yes, I’m here to meet with Nicola Clarke. I’m running late, she should be here already…”
“Oh yes. I’m sorry… Miss Clarke won’t be making it this evening,” the hostess said. “Her assistant phoned earlier. Miss Clarke was unfortunately called away on a personal matter but you should feel free to enjoy the evening at her expense. We’ll put it all on her tab.”
“What? But we had a meeting, I…” Teri protested.
“I’m sorry – I was just asked to deliver the message. I don’t have any further details. Please, if you’ll follow the waiter, they’ll show you to your table.”
“No, thanks, I’m… Actually, you know what – sure,” she was about to decline but thought better of it. After the week she had, a drink (or two) actually sounded good.
By the time she sat down at the elegant table (alone), her annoyance had turned to anger. By the time she'd finished the first whiskey, she was fuming. Three later she was furious! ‘The nerve,' she thought to herself, signaling the waiter for yet another refill. ‘I guess a little dance studio in town isn’t worth the famous Nicola M Clarke’s time, urgh.’
She had a few more than she planned caught an Uber taxi home, fumbling with her phone as she drunkenly searched for Nicola’s email to tell her exactly what she thought of being stood up – even if it was by “someone who had more money than common sense”.
Nicola scrolled through her emails listlessly as she paced the hospital hallways. Work was the last thing on her mind, but she welcomed the distraction. If she pestered the doctor again regarding her uncle’s condition, she feared that she might be forcedly removed from the premises. Her impatience was driving her insane!
They kept replying that they were busy with ‘treatment’ but she had no idea what that actually meant. She rushed over the moment she heard he’s been rushed to the hospital, dropping everything as she shouted "Cancel the rest of the day!" on her way out of the office. The office she wouldn’t even have without her uncle’s help and support.
Junk, junk, I'll deal with it later, junk – she scrolled through the emails almost in auto-pilot. It wasn't until she reached the one entitled ‘How not to be a complete b***', sent from a Teri Alexander at 11:37 pm, that she paused. Teri, the owner of the dance studio for disabled kids she was supposed to meet for dinner to discuss possible funding. ‘Oh right, that was today,’ she remembered. This day had been so chaotic, she hadn’t even thought about it until right now. She opened the mail, curiosity quickly turning to annoyance...
‘Dear Miss Clarke
Thank you for being so kind as to let me drink on your tab. Such a considerate person, always looking out for those less fortunate than herself.
I’m sorry you couldn’t be bothered to show up for our meeting. I know your time must be worth sooo much. You could have at least let me know!
But I suppose you had better things to do. I’m sure that haircut takes a lot of time. Or maybe you had to take your dog to the psychologist.
I’ll have you know that I’ve worked my fingers to the bone for this dance studio and it’s making a massive difference in the community. These kids have never been given a chance before – unlike you who’ve just been handed everything on a silver platter. The least you could do was at least hear me out.
But I suppose people like you…’
Nicola closed the mail and exited her inbox. ‘The bloody nerve of this woman,’ she thought angrily. ‘I’ll deal with this later.’
After what felt like ages, the nurse finally allowed her into the room where her uncle smiled weakly from his sick bed.
“Nicola, darling,” he reached out to her and she grabbed his arm tenderly, her cold demeanor from before completely transformed.
"Oh, uncle! You had me worried there. When they said you collapsed, I expected the worst! I'm so glad you're okay," she sat down next to the bed, still clinging to the fragile hand.
“I’m far from okay, dear.”
“Nonsense, we’ll have you out of this stuffy place in no time…”
“That’s not how cancer works, kid. You can’t just say ‘ok, I’m done with this now, you can have it back’ and then casually pop home like it never happened. It’s got me bad.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
“It’s true. I’ve made peace with it. The doctor says there isn’t much time left. This is the part of the story where I order the hookers and the cocaine and go out with a bang,” he smiled good-naturedly despite the pain.
“We’ll fix you. Money isn’t a problem. I’ll get the best doctors in the world if it takes, I…”
“Nicola – stop,” he said seriously, squeezing her hand. “I’ve lived my life. I’ve done what I needed to do; I’ve made my contribution. It’s time for me to make space for the youth, for you. It’s your turn to change the world…”
“You can’t just give up,” she was biting her lip, trying hard to keep it together. The only person in the world she really cared about was trying to tell her that they were dying and there was nothing she could do about it. When her parents kicked her out, he was all that she had – he couldn’t leave her now!
“Just promise me that you’ll spend your time and money well – that’s all I want for you. Help those less fortunate – that’s what’s important in life.”
“What about family?”
“My time has come, kiddo. It is what it is.”
She let go of the hand and stormed out of the room, angry tears streaming down her cheeks.
‘Oh god, why did I drink all those whiskeys?' Teri thought as she plonked her hungover body down at her desk, rubbing her temples.
She opened her laptop slowly, trying to swallow the nausea building in the back of her throat. Not as slowly as it took the computer to switch on though. ‘Stupid thing,’ she thought annoyed. ‘Everything in this place is falling apart.’ The thought brought back memories from the night before and being stood up by Nicola. She vaguely remembered her anger and wanting to phone the woman and give her a piece of her mind.
‘Oh shit,’ she thought panicked, reaching for her phone. But she relaxed when she didn’t see the number in her outgoing calls list. ‘Crisis avoided,’ she thought relieved.
She put the phone down and just stared blankly at her screen, trying to will herself to plan today’s schedule – luckily she only had classes later in the afternoon. But there was a mountain of admin to take care of and now that she was back to square one in terms of grants, the situation was getting desperate. She would have to start banging on the doors of strangers again – what an exhausting process…
Her despondent thoughts were interrupted by an unexpected knock on the door.
“Can I come in?” the voice demanded, startling Teri.
“Yes, sure… I… Hi…” she jumped up quickly when she recognized her guest. It was Nicola herself.
“Teri, Teri Alexander,” she stretched out her hand and it was met in a firm grip.
"Nicola M Clarke," the tall woman with the tanned complexion responded formally. She was dressed impeccably in her pencil skirt and silk blouse. Quite the contrast to Teri's thrown-together sweat pants and a tank top. Her long chestnut hair was pinned up in a neat bun, accentuating a strong jawline and almost boyish features. Her green eyes betrayed an assertive fierceness that stared right through Teri and made her nervous, almost uncomfortable – like she was in trouble with the school principal. Yet, Nicola couldn't have been more than a few years older than her – 33 at most.
“Please sit,” Teri awkwardly started moving the papers piled up on the chair.
“No, don’t bother,” Nicola said simply. “Let’s go out for lunch.”
"It's 10 am?"
“Brunch then,” Nicola said. “I’ll drive,” she walked out the door without waiting for an answer and Teri followed, too dumbstruck by the confidence of the enigmatic woman to argue.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Teri said nervously when they finally sat down at the table in a nearby restaurant. The drive had been awkward but short and most of Teri’s small talk was greeted by silence.
The new restaurant wasn’t nearly as flashy as the night before but not even that could put Teri more at ease. There was something so unnerving about how Nicola’s stare went right through her. But she couldn’t look away either – she was like a deer trapped in the headlights.
“It’s not every day I get to have brunch with a celebrity,” she tried to lighten the mood, gulping down a glass of water eagerly – a mixture of not knowing what to do and trying to feed the hungover that now seemed like a minor discomfort in comparison to the company.
But her cheer had no effect on Nicola who didn’t even look up from the menu.
“Are you ready to order?” Teri found herself relieved when the waiter interrupted the almost unbearable tension.
“I’ll have a sparkling water and a chicken salad, thanks,” Nicola took the lead, closing her menu and looking up at Teri tiredly in a look that was received as cold by the unfamiliar guest.
"Just some more water and a cheeseburger, please," Teri ordered, fully aware that it wasn't the poshest choice, but her body demanded grease and her mind sought the comfort of it. "Sorry, I'm behind on my weekly quota of processed lies," Teri joked sheepishly. No response.
“So, your grant proposal…” Nicola finally said, taking out her iPad.
"Yes, I… thanks so much for seeing me. As you know I run a dance studio for disabled children and we are in desperate need of a corporate sponsor. The building requires urgent renovations and we're struggling to provide enough classes to keep up with the demand. If you got involved, it would make a huge difference, not only with regards to upgrading the studio but improving the quality of life of these children. You should see how much they enjoy it. I cannot tell you how grateful I would be to get you on board. I'm a great fan of your work and…"
Nicola cut her off abruptly. “That’s not what you said in your email.”
Teri fell silent, her whole face going red in embarrassment as she silently begged the floor to swallow whole. So it wasn’t a dream.
“My email? I… I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I actually sent that. It was such a long day and I was so tired and I had a few drinks… You just didn’t pitch…” she tried to defend herself, hurriedly trying to string together excuses for her poor behavior.
“Didn’t I leave a message?”
“Yes, but…”
“I assure you I don’t take these meetings lightly, Miss Alexander and I had good reasons for canceling. And no, I was NOT taking my dog to the psychologist.”
Teri laughed nervously – not knowing what else to do. She really screwed this one up.
"I was at the hospital if you must know," Nicola continued. “My uncle, who has helped me build this company from the ground, was rushed in after collapsing. I had no choice but to cancel.”
“I’m so sorry, I hope he’s okay,” Teri was feeling worse about her actions with every second that went by.
“He’s got cancer and it’s terminal – so no ‘okay’ is not a word I would use in this context,” Nicola spat out coldly.
Teri didn’t know how to respond; she felt dreadful. She couldn’t believe she actually sent that mail – damn it! There was no way she was getting that grant now – that was for sure.
Nicola eventually found herself actually enjoying brunch, despite all the anger she initially felt when inviting Teri out. She had every intention of humiliating her and making her feel bad for the email, but she couldn’t help but start to like this strange woman with the big blue eyes and frazzled look – almost completely despite herself. She didn’t normally like people. In fact, other than her uncle, she couldn’t think of a single person that she liked. Maybe the new coffee girl at work who finally managed to get her morning order right – but ‘like’ was too strong a word even in this context.
Her life has always been fighting against the world and she considered personal relationships a weakness. There is nothing she couldn’t do better on her own and people just dragged you down. That was her solid motto that got her to where she was today.
Yet, Teri lightened the mood. She was a tad awkward and babbled on way too energetically, but she was sincere and she seemed genuinely passionate about her work.
To overcompensate for the guilt she felt after realizing she actually did send that email, Teri kicked up her animated stories a gear as she sped through them a million words a minute.
Nicola didn’t mind. The distraction was amazing and she only realized after they had finished their meals that for the first time she wasn’t endlessly stressing about her uncle’s condition. She was actually able to enjoy her meal and even get absorbed in the tales Teri was recounting through mouthfuls of the burger she was devouring very unladylike – much to Nicola’s amusement. She was so used to people being fake and proper around her that Teri seemed like a breath of fresh air in contrast.
“So – Miss Alexander,” Nicola finally started adding to the conversation after a moment of silence. “You’re not from the retail chain Alexanders, are you?”
“I am as a matter of fact – Richard Alexander is my dad.”
“Well then why on earth are we having this meeting? The Alexanders are one of the wealthiest families in this country!”
“They are – but I’m afraid they cut me off many years ago already,” Teri’s mood turned more somber a
s she recalled her family dramas.
“Sounds familiar. My parents quickly cut the supply when I dropped out to start my own business,” Nicola related.
“Mine wanted me to be a professional ballerina – have you ever heard anything so ludicrous? They were grooming me my whole life – for as long as I can remember. My childhood was filled with hours and hours of practice. I had to be perfect. I couldn't dare gain a pound or even make any friends –those things, living your life, would just stand in your way of achieving your goal, you know. That's what my dad always said. Naturally, in my teens I started rebelling, sneaking off with terrible boys that I didn't even like but knew would piss my parents off. Long story short, by age 18 I got pregnant. It was just before the big competition as well. The one that could get me into any dance school I wanted to. But that was their life, not mine. I never wanted to be a professional ballerina… They didn’t find out until I had the miscarriage and was rushed to the hospital.” Teri had no idea why she was telling the complete stranger her life story, but the words flowed up freely – even without wine. “I missed the competition and ‘my big break’ – but also, I would never be able to train to that extent anymore. The miscarriage led to an infection and there were complications – I would never be able to compete professionally again. My life was over according to my parents.”
Steamy Dorm Page 13