Steamy Dorm

by Kristine Robinson

  “God, that was beautiful,” Jake said. “I'm surprised that the sky got that red color of rust when you streak it across your hand.”

  Martha giggled at Jake's description.

  “Only a boy would say something like that,” Martha said. “A girl would know the color, but a boy would know where to find the color outside.”

  “Wait a minute now,” I said. “You sound a little sexist saying stuff like that...”

  Martha rolled her eyes. She didn't like how I often interjected my feminism into her conversations. I couldn't help it, though. There was no way I could just sit there and listen to her babble on as if she had no pride in herself or any other woman around. Sure, maybe there wasn't anything directly disparaging to say that a female wouldn't know where to find a color outside, but it enforced gender roles and stereotypes. I liked to think of men and women as multifaceted beings.

  “You think of sex as being able to be more than one thing,” I said. “But when it comes to gender you have a static idea in your head? That just seems strange to me.”

  Martha smiled slowly.

  “You might be surprised what my ideas about gender really are,” Martha said. “I might think that boys play outside more, but there are more unorthodox things I think that I keep to myself most of the time because people can't handle ideas that clash with their own.”

  “Like what,” I said. “What ideas do you have that are so radical?”

  “Well, for instance,” Martha said. “I think that someone in a relationship can sleep with someone else, of the same sex, with their partner's permission, and have it be all right.”

  I found myself nodding in agreement right along with Jake. It was hard to argue with what Martha was saying when I didn't disagree. But that didn't mean that Martha was off the hook just yet.

  “All right, so you might have ideas that are non-heteronormative, but it's still stupid of you to sit there and say things that reinforce beliefs which restrict little girls.”

  Martha rolled her eyes again.

  “I actually agree,” Jake said. “And totally get where you are coming from. Although I don't think Martha is doing anything wrong by voicing her opinion, I do believe that there is way too much stock put into the idea that boys will be boys and girls will be girls. People will be people, you know?”

  I nodded, thinking again of what kind of guy Jake really was. He was a nice guy, most likely, and he probably treated people well, but he just wanted to be his own person and not be tied down to anyone or anywhere. That was something I could appreciate, but at the same time, it wasn't something that I would find very easy to adjust to in a partner. But Jake didn't want to be a partner, he wanted to be a lover, and that was fine with me as well.

  “You know, I have an awesome leaf collection that we just moved in,” Martha said. “Would you like to see it, Jessica?”

  “Of course!” I shouted.

  My love of leaves always betrayed me. There was something about them which I found truly magical. I'd had no idea that Martha kept a leaf collection. I loved those kinds of collections, the way the leaves were pressed out and dried to a crisp, while still retaining much of their original state. It was like catching a leaf in a freeze frame photo. When we got to Martha's room, we all had to make our way around stacked boxes to find the album she was looking for. When she opened it up, there they were, hundreds of leaves all pressed and preserved forever.

  I ran my hand over the ridges of the leaves I could feel through the plastic. It was incredible to touch them like that, it was as if I was running my fingers through the history of nature itself.

  “This is pretty cool,” Jake said. “I will admit, when I heard what we were coming to look at, I was like, what? But now that I see what's up I totally get why you're stoked about leaves. These things are pretty neat to look at. And there are all kinds of them. I guess I sound like a kid, but I just hadn't ever considered how awesome leaves are before.”

  Martha and I both chuckled at this, and Jake blushed. There was something about the way Jake was quick to be embarrassed that I really liked. It made me think of all the times he'd seemed so confident before, but now he just seemed normal. I guessed that that was what happened as you actually got to know a person. They ended up acting normal instead of cool. I still liked Jake even though he was revealing himself to be a nerd. It was cool that he conducted himself so graciously as he blushed. A lot of guys I'd dated would become frustrated, or not known how to act. But not Jake. He knew that it was all right to blush and get caught up in the moment. There was something about him, the vulnerability, which really drew me to him. Martha was feeling it as well and rested one of her legs on his. We were all starting to get hot, and not from the temperature. Walking back out into the common area was tough, as if we all wanted to go back into the room and look at leaves. But I don't think it was leaves that we wanted to look at, not really. We wanted to look at each other and touch each other. Martha was so gorgeous, and so was Jake. I was having a hard time keeping my hands off of them when they started putting their hands on each other. They started groping and petting each other right there in the hallway, and I couldn't help but stand, smile, and watch.

  Martha was a busty girl with a big ass, the kind of girl that guys loved to fuck. I knew that I was lucky to get to see her all turned on like this. While they touched each other I walked over and took Martha's face in my hands. Gently, I kissed her full on the lips. For a moment she acted as if she didn't know what to do, but then she kissed me back. There was something about another woman kissing me that turned me on so much I could barely contain myself, but Jake was pulling Martha back toward her new room, and I got the feeling that while I might be welcome, they had some things to work out between themselves.

  So I sat on the sofa and turned on the television again, but this time I turned it down low so I could hear what was going on in the other room. It was so hot to listen to two really hot people fuck. The moaning sounds that Martha was making let me know that Jake knew what he was doing. That made me glad because there was nothing worse in the world than a hot guy who didn't know how to lay a girl right. And there were plenty of guys like that out there, I'd come to realize. Jake seemed to be the opposite, though, as I heard the headboard knocking against the bedroom wall. They must be having great sex I thought. And then I wondered why I didn't go and watch. I found both of them attractive, and there was no reason that I couldn't take a gander at the fun. I knew that neither of them would care, and instead, it would most likely turn both of them on even more than they already were.

  Quietly I stood up and tiptoed back to Martha's room. The sounds coming from inside were primal, yet sensual. I couldn't wait to crack open the door and see what was going on inside. For a second I hesitated, and just pressed my ear to the door. From what I could hear Jake was really giving it to Martha. Then they stopped for a second, only to start again. I cracked the door just a bit to watch and saw that Martha had crawled on top and Jake was holding on to her hips, pulling her down against him.

  I felt my body get hot all over and backed away from the door. Was I supposed to be doing this? It was one thing to talk about being free sexually, but I was finding that it took much more bravery to actually do any of it than I thought it would. But even though I was scared, I knew that I wanted to touch Martha and Jake at the same time. Maybe one at a time first, I didn't know. All I knew was that I couldn't wait to be with them, to feel them around me and relish every second of it. There was nothing better than being the center of attention, and that was something that I loved.

  It was hard for me to admit it sometimes because my brand of feminism found attention-seeking women problematic. But deep down I loved it when all eyes were on me, especially when they were eyes that I found attractive. There was nothing better than being wanted by someone I wanted, and that was just a fact of life.

  Still unsure of what to do, I backed away from the door and retreated back into the kitchen. Pretending not to hear th
em I made myself some coffee to drink. It made me so hot to think they knew I heard them, to know they wanted me to hear. Something about that was so alluring to me. Maybe today was not the right time, but I knew there was a good chance I would want to explore the idea later.

  As I sipped my coffee, I looked out the window. The moon hung as a sickle in the sky. It was big and bright and made me think of the things to come.

  ~*~

  After that, the three of us became nearly inseparable. We went to the beach together, to the mall together, started going to the marshes to watch animals together. All three of us being together, and being such a tight knit group of three, made it seem like the world opened up to us. Whereas before we had been leery of the city, now we embraced it. With Jake there to show us around, there was always a good time waiting.

  Things between Martha and Jake didn't seem to progress as they would normally. They weren't like a couple at all, although they did things together that couples did. There was always a reserved bearing about them when they were out in public. They didn't like to let people see into their personal lives, and from what I could tell didn't want to define it even to themselves. Which was fine with me, because I was drawn to both of them as we hung out together. Martha seemed to balance Jake out: where Martha was deliberate Jake was kind of a space-case, Jake liked to be spontaneous but Martha liked to make plans. Although I knew I was romanticizing it, I'd come to think of them as yin and yang to each other. They worked so well together, and I was the two little dots in the middle of the swirling drops of a Ying Yang symbol. Little did I know how much turbulence could come out of such a dynamic.

  I noticed that there were other forces at work. Martha seemed to want to make me more like her and had started doing my makeup before we would meet up with Jake. I found it flattering when Martha made wardrobe suggestions for me. Sometimes she would have me dress up in one sexy outfit after another, and then, when nearly an hour had elapsed, would laugh and say something like, "Oh, I was just having you do that for me. I knew what I wanted you to wear when we first stepped in here." She liked to be in control, and it wasn't the bossy kind of control, but just a more dominant nature than I was used to. There wasn't anything macho about it, like I was used to finding in men, but instead seemed more to stem from a place of firm buy gentle caring.

  We were all out on the main strip one day, looking for a good time and some local food, when we walked past a store selling various items of kinky nature. There were leather whips and harness, all manner of bondage gear. I'd been into BDSM in the past, but nothing serious. Sure, I'd let guys tie me up on occasion, or I'd act extra submissive to turn someone on, but it had never really been my bag. There just seemed like too much room for the power dynamic between submissive and the dominant, and no real safety nets in place for the people who were bound up.

  “Oh, look at this place,” Martha said. “I love kink. Don't you guys?”

  “I used to be into the lighter version of this stuff,” I said. “But it's been awhile since I've tried to have fun with it. I mean, there were times in the past when it was a really good, but I need to be with the right person for it to work.”

  “Or the right people,” Martha said smiling. “You never know how much fun you can have when you don't have control.”

  I nodded, not knowing what she meant but wanting to cut the conversation short. Whether it was an invitation or suggestions that she saw me as a submissive while she was more dominant. I didn't know if it was something I wanted to explore, had never really thought about it. Even now I was having a hard time really considering it because that meant I would be with Martha on an intimate level. That, first and foremost, made my mind go into a tailspin. Then I had to wonder if Martha meant with me and her alone, or with her and Jake, and the whole process started over again.

  “You know, I've never tried any of this stuff,” Jake said. “Kind of makes me feel like a goober to hear both of you talk about it while I haven't even tried it at all.”

  This was a comfort to hear. I'd been afraid that Jake would be experienced in the BDSM lifestyle and want to goad the two of us into doing something like that with him. Which I wouldn't have minded, necessarily, but it would take some warming up to the idea for me to really want to jump in head first.

  “Let's take a look around inside,” Martha said. “It'll be fun! And besides, it's still a little early for dinner.

  Without waiting for a reply, Martha walked into the store. Jake followed after a moment, leaving me to stand outside by myself for a second—I trailed after Jake as if pulled by a hidden force, not unwillingly, but not completely of my own volition.

  “This place is so great,” Martha said. “Look at all the gear they have!”

  The walls were adorned with all of the trappings of a dungeon goer’s wet dreams. There were feathers and ropes and all sort of sex toys, from regular looking ones to much scarier contraptions. A giant wood cross was attached to one of the brick walls, holding a mannequin tied up in a leather suit and with a ball gag around his face. There were other, more fashionable BDSM clothing, that had become so trendy in recent times. Jake looked through some of the clothes for women, eying Martha and myself as if to estimate our measurements.

  “It would be fun to tie both of you up and whip you until I feel better about life,” Martha said. “And I bet you'd both squeal like little pigs before I was done. Wouldn't you?”

  I wasn't sure what to say. Martha was clearly more into this than I was, and Jake wasn't around to be a buffer or a mediator for conversation. There was something about the way Martha was talking, a kind of hidden forcefulness, that I didn't know if I liked. Sure, there was kink and all the fun which went along with it, but there was also respect, and I wondered if Martha would be able to keep it all separate and straight in her head at the same time. We spent the next hour or so looking at stuff. Martha made a few mental notes about what she wanted, saying that the store's markup was too high for her.

  “Do you really think so? What kind of prices are you looking for?” I said. “Leather is expensive, and I know that the stuff hanging on the walls is good leather from how it feels and smells. Did you touch any of it to feel how supple it was?”

  Martha didn't answer right away and Jake was quick to rush in and fill the void in conversation. Obviously, she had her own plan but wasn't ready to tell me the details. Maybe she thought I would chicken out, and maybe I would have, so I just let her be.

  The rest of the night things went smoothly. We all dined out and hit a club. Martha and Jake ground up against each other, and me as well. Dancing was fun, and feeling their bodies was arousing as hell. There were times when we were all so into each other and with such passion, that the people around us in the crowd stopped what they were doing to watch.

  I realized how hot the three of us were, and how many people watching us would have loved to take us home. It was a turn on, having everyone's attention. Martha loved it, and Jake was just happy to have both of our attentions. It was a fun thing, and I never wanted the feeling to end, so I was a little disappointed when the club finally closed.

  Martha's spirits seemed to have risen, but her words were slightly slurred by the booze. Jake had to help her into the cab when she almost fell into the gutter filled with waste water and garbage. It was hard for me to watch her in this state; I'd come to think of her more than just a friend. What did that mean of my feelings for her? When I thought of her a felt a longing that was much more than what a friend would feel for someone who was just a friend. There was plenty of friendship feelings I felt for her, pulls and strums of my heart strings that weren't part of loves ballad. But then there were notes that would only have come from a love song—or maybe they were the notes that come just before such harmony. The more I tried to decipher my feelings the more cryptic they seemed, until finally I just gave up. All I could really divine for certain was that I felt for her as someone would feel for a person they had first met as friends, but after attraction wa
s tarrying instead of fleeting, other feelings were manifesting.

  It was all probably the booze, anyway. My attractions and emotions were always more convoluted when I drank. The reason I rarely drank was that the feeling of things moving under the surface made me uneasy at times. Some people didn't have a problem dealing with all of it, but I wasn't those people. I felt like I needed to be more in control, even though I knew that life didn't necessarily work that way. If moving to New Orleans had taught me anything, it was that there was much more to life than met the eye. I couldn't just expect things to be black and white all the time.

  When we made it to our place Martha was less intoxicated but wound up from the BDSM store. She paced back and forth on the hardwood floor of our apartment while Jake made us something to eat.

  “I really do want us all to play together,” Martha said. “I know that's a bold thing to say, but it’s how I feel. I'd like to think that we're all good friends enough where it won't freak either of you two out or anything. I know that it's not for everyone, but we're all so close. And Jake is a one of a kind guy, we've been hanging out with him for a while now. I don't think there is going to be any dark impulses from him that we aren't ready for.”

  “It was so hot dancing with you tonight,” Jake said.

  “Did you see everyone watching u,” I said. “It was a huge turn on for me. Being with you two makes us all the center of attention.”

  “Yeah, that's for sure,” Jake said. “I've never had an entire club be jealous of me before.”

  “They were jealous because both of you are totally hot,” Martha said. “And it really made me think naughty thoughts.”

  We all nodded in agreement at this, that our minds had been more in tune with our carnal desires than usual while we'd been bumping and grinding together. Now those sparks had grown into flames of desire, and we couldn't stop wanting each other.