I screamed loudly not caring who in the world might hear me at that moment. My entire body began to convulse in wicked pleasure as if some spell had been cast right then to take me to a plane of pleasure that no human being should have had access to. It had to be ten times better than any high off of any drug that had ever been discovered. It was like explosions of total bliss being set off by fireworks in my head as the tingling in my box sent off a chain reaction of pleasure all over my body.
Lilian and I both lay back, our bodies completely spent and glistening in sex and sweat. I lay there with my eyes closed and the air from the fan above us pouring down over my wet, sweaty body. I could not remember a time when I had felt so alive and so tired all at once. Every single molecule of my body felt as if it had been given total focus and attention. I had never felt happier in my life.
I felt movement from the other side of the bed and before I could even open my eyes and raise my head to see what was going on I felt Lilian’s mouth on me licking and sucking at my crotch, catching my lips between her teeth and biting gently as she lapped up every drop of my release. I reached down and pressed her face to me as I somehow found the strength to move my hips up and down, feeding it all to her in my exhausted state.
Somehow she was able to get me off again. And it was just as perfect.
We both slept soundly through the night in each other’s arms, completely spent.
CHAPTER 7
“Well, well, well. Cassie Powel has a girlfriend. I think I have to shout this from the rooftops!” Jaden said.
Lilian had just left my place and gone to work. The second she was gone I had to call Jaden and tell him the good news. I knew I could count on him to be excited.
“I know, right! I have not been this happy since… well… ever!” I was practically jumping up and down holding the phone. I wanted to scream it from the rooftops as well.
“I am very happy for you,” Jaden said. “Does your new girlfriend know that you cheat at poker?”
“I was not cheating! You just suck.”
“Oh, ok. Sorry, I forgot that I suck.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” I said.
“So, what do you got going on tonight? You and your new girlfriend going to spend the night together? Did you ask her to move in yet?”
“What? No, I did not ask her to move in. I’m saving that for tomorrow and maybe tomorrow night I’ll ask her to get married. You are so retarded,” I joked.
“Excuse me. I don’t know how fast relationships are supposed to work; you forget it’s been since the Y2K thing the last time I had a relationship.”
“Oh, you are being so over the top,” I said.
“Yeah. I have a tendency to do that. Do you know if she is good at softball? We could use a good right fielder for the team. We had our first practice this morning and if this is the best we got we are doomed.”
“I’ll ask her, but I’m not sure she is going to have much time since she has a girlfriend now.”
“How dare you say that your girlfriend time is more important than my softball team? Besides you could come and watch or you could join the team. I’ve seen you play; you are not terrible.”
“Well, thanks for the compliment,” I said.
“Are you telling me it would not turn you on to see your sexy girlfriend in a pair of shorts playing some softball?”
“Of course it would. And stop calling my girlfriend sexy. That is only for me to think.”
Jaden laughed. “Wow, you are already getting defensive.”
I laughed. “I know. God, it’s been so long since I’ve been in a relationship. I am just giddy. Last night was so hot. We made sweet love all night— “
“Hang on, let me get one hand free,” Jaden said.
“You pervert!”
“Keep talking. I like the dirty talk,” Jaden said.
We shot the breeze for a few more minutes but then I had to get started on my newest project. I wanted to be done by the time that Lilian got off work. I was thinking I would take her to Oregano’s for dinner. The best pizza you have ever put in your mouth. Yet another thing Lilian and I had in common; we were both certified pizza junkies.
CHAPTER 8
“You want to take your things back?” I asked. “I don’t understand.”
Lilian and I were sitting in my apartment having a nice dinner when she suddenly sprung it on me that she needed to take most of her things home. We had been dating officially for over two weeks and since then she’d spent practically every night at my place. Gradually she had started to move things in that she needed. I loved it. It was like every day we were getting closer and closer to living together, but we had not yet spoken about this. I was happy to keep quiet about it for now and let nature take its course.
Lilian took a deep breath. “It’s not what you think; I really care about you and I love every second that we are together.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“My parents are coming into town this week.”
“Ok…”
“They don’t know I’m gay.”
“Oh, wow,” I said.
“Yeah, I’ve never come out to my family. They don’t know I’m gay and they certainly don’t know I have a girlfriend.”
“Ok,” I said. “You don’t think they would be ok with it?”
“I don’t know. I mean they’ve never given me any reason to fear coming out. They are both loving and accepting people but for some reason I’m just terrified that they will react poorly to hearing this. I know it’s crazy and I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you before.”
“It’s ok; I wish you had told me before now, but I understand. I still remember how hard it was to come out to my parents and they are two of the most open and accepting people that you will ever meet. It can be hard.”
“Well, it’s just something that gives me a lot of grief and anxiety. I mean, I hate lying to them and I hate making up excuses about why I’m not dating. I even have a separate Facebook account for my family so they don’t find out. I feel stupid saying all of this; what have I been doing?”
I put my arm around her. “Honey, it’s ok. You have no reason to be ashamed. All gay people have to go through this at one time or another and it is up to you to decide when it feels right for you. I’m here with you no matter what.”
“Thanks, babe.”
“Sure. But I do think you would feel a lot happier if you got it off your chest. I just think it’s a shame to pretend to be someone you are not to please anybody else.”
“I know. I just haven’t been able to. I want to try to do this soon. But I am just not ready yet.”
I kissed her sweetly on the lips and ran my fingers through her hair to comfort her. I leaned into her ear and whispered to her. “It’s ok, honey. Whatever you need to do.”
Lilian kissed me softly and we held each other.
CHAPTER 9
“It’s so nice to meet you,” I said shaking Mr. Grey’s hand. He was a tall slender man with a friendly, outgoing demeanor. He was a college English professor and he fit the stereotype to the letter.
“Likewise,” Mr. Grey said. “This is my wife Kathleen.”
Mrs. Grey was beautiful and looked exactly like an older version of Lilian. For a moment I have to admit I had a mother daughter fantasy going on.
Both of them were just exquisite beauties. And Lilian’s parents were both as sweet as could be.
“Have you and Lilian been friends long?” Mr. Grey asked.
“A little while. I am a freelance writer and I go into the office supply store that Lilian works at a lot. So we struck up a friendship that way.”
“Oh, that is fantastic,” He said. “Lilian doesn’t have enough female friends, we are always saying.”
I tried to hide the laughter.
Lilian shuffled her feet nervously.
“So, what sort of things do you write, Cassie?” Her mother asked me.
“Well, Mrs. Grey—“
&
nbsp; “Kathleen, please.”
“Ok, Kathleen. I write a bit of everything, but mostly I am writing advertising copy for internet businesses. You know like sales letters, email offers for their subscribers, and so forth.
“Oh, ok,” Kathleen said. “That’s sounds fascinating.”
“I enjoy it,” I replied.
“Lilian you are being awfully quiet over there,” Kathleen said.
“Am I? I was just enjoying the conversation.”
“I’m always telling her she is too shy,” I said.
“Right you are,” Kathleen said.
I stayed and chatted a few more minutes at Lilian’s with her family and then I excused myself so that Lilian could spend time with her family.
She gave me a look as she left that basically told me how much she wished I could stay, but she was not ready to come out to her parents yet. From what I could tell they would support their daughter in whatever made her happy. They seemed to be the type of people who were proud of their daughter for who she was.
I did not get to see Lilian for most of that week while her family was visiting. I wanted to give her space and let her be with her family without having to constantly monitor the fact that she was falling in love with me. If she felt anything like I did then it was almost impossible to not touch each other or at the very least hold hands when we were together.
I missed her so much during that week that I cried myself to sleep a few nights. My world just felt completely empty and alone without her. I wanted her with me; I wanted to feel her soft, warm body beside me when I slept. I wanted to wake up to her being right there. I needed her with me.
We texted several times and she told me she was so sorry about being away from me. But I told her how much I understood. I told her it was ok, and it was. I did understand. I knew all too well how traumatic and nerve racking it could be to come out to your family.
But I also knew how much better she would feel when it finally happened. The shackles she had placed on her life would be gone. And I knew that she was worried over nothing. I’m a pretty good judge of people and from what I could tell her family would be happy that she came out to them.
But in the end it was Lilian’s decision to make and only she could say when the time was right.
During that week I tried to keep my sanity by throwing myself into work and going to the gym as much as possible. I’d had a gym membership for a while but I was lucky to make it there twice a week. It was stupid, but working out had never been my idea of fun. I was able to commit to it for a few weeks and then I would gradually let it go.
I have to admit that by the third straight day of working out hard I was starting to feel better; I had more energy during the day and I felt so much more focused and alert. I was able to get a crazy amount of work done to the point that I could have taken a week off and been caught up just fine.
But I was starting to go a little bit insane towards the end of the week when finally Lilian called me to let me know her parents had just gone back home.
She came over to my place shortly after that and we ordered a pizza, had a few beers, and watched some of our favorite shows on TV.
At one point though I felt it was important that we have a talk about things.
“Your parents seem great. Are you sure you are making the right decision by keeping them in the dark about everything?” I asked.
Lilian groaned. It was obvious she did not want to talk about this, but it was important. It had to be said.
“I am just not ready. I thought you supported me in that. Why is that suddenly hard for you to understand?”
“It’s not. But you need to realize that the longer you put this off the harder it is going to be. It is not fair to you, your parents, or me for you to keep this part of yourself a secret.”
“I know. You’re right. I’m going to tell them, but I just need more time. Please be patient.”
I took a deep breath. I wasn’t sure how much more time Lilian was going to want or need but I had no choice but to respect her wishes. If I harped at her too much about it I risked her resenting me and driving a wedge in our relationship. That was the very last thing in the world I wanted to do. But it hurt me to see her struggling so much and it pained me to know that our relationship was in the shadows with her family. They seemed to be great people and I would have loved getting to know all of them better, but for now I was going to have to wait until Lilian was ready to come out.
I just hoped it would be soon. I loved her so much and I knew she loved me. I wanted the whole world to know it too.
CHAPTER 10
I finished typing up the final touches on the new document I owed my newest client. It was a sales letter for a new dating guru who was trying to launch a big business with a DVD program, a book, online consultations—the works really. It looked as if the guy had invested a lot of money into this thing and for the most part it was pretty well put together and had some great information.
It had taken me a day and a half to write the lengthy sales pitch that would appear on the website to encourage people to sign up for the thirty day money back guarantee offer. I read it over a few times, made sure all was clean and without errors, and that all the wording was perfect and then I emailed it to my client. I hoped he would be happy with it and not request any additional changes.
I grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down to work on my newest chapter in the new book I was writing about hauntings in Arizona when the door opened and Lilian walked in. I was actually expecting her a bit later, but I was happy to see my baby as always. I finished typing up my final thoughts on the work I was doing and went to greet her as she sat her stuff down.
She looked tired, but a bit excited at the same time. I could tell something was on her mind the moment I kissed her. It was as if she had something so important to tell me that the magic of my kiss was not quite enough to distract her from it.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” I asked, thinking the worst. As I watched her the excitement I thought I’d seen before appeared to be more of a nervous anxiety riddled energy. She was very fidgety and taking long breaths. I actually enjoyed watching her take long breaths because it made her magnificent chest rise and fall beautifully.
“I’ve made a decision,” Lilian said as we both sat down on the couch.
“Ok,” I replied waiting for a devastating blow.
“I’m going to come out to my parents,” she said.
I couldn’t believe it. It had been almost a month since they had visited and she and I had spoken about this. I had decided to completely leave it up to her and not to prod her or even mention it at all again. I knew she would come around eventually.
“That’s great,” I said. I hugged her tightly and kissed her. “I’m so proud of you, sweetie.”
“Thanks,” she said. That sweet smile; she was practically glowing. “But I have a favor to ask.”
“Ok; anything.”
“Would you go with me to tell them?”
“I would love to, honey.”
“Great. I want to tell them and I want to introduce you as my woman. I think you being there will make it easier for me and they can see how strong our love is right in front of them.”
“I agree,” I said. I could not believe it; she was really going to do this. God, I loved this woman.
“Great. They are flying back in this weekend. I figure we can tell them then.”
“Wow, flying back in so soon?”
“Yeah; it’s spring break and my dad has the week off. We were talking and I told them there was something I wanted to tell them in person and he said they would love to spend spring break down here. He plans to do a bunch of golfing.”
We both laughed holding each other.
I could not believe that the moment had finally arrived. Saturday would not get her soon enough.
We were all gathered in my living room and I began to suspect that Lilian’s parents had noticed a lot of her things were scattered abou
t my apartment. But they did not say anything. Lilian and I fixed a great dinner full of steaks, mashed potatoes, and I baked fresh apple pie for dessert. After everyone had their fill and were completely stuffed we headed to the living room to relax with beers and glasses of red wine.
“So, Lilian what is it you wanted to talk to us about? You said it was urgent but you couldn’t say it over the phone?” Mr. Grey asked.
Lilian and I both stood up together in front of them. I could see she was shaking like a leaf. It was going to be ok. I grabbed her hand and held it gently in mine. She looked at me, our eyes met, and she knew that everything was going to be fine too. She could see the happiness beaming from me; I could feel it.
“Mom and dad—I’m gay,” Lilian said.
I expected silence to fill the room so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. I imagined the awkward mood turning sour. I wanted to believe I was right about the way this would go down, but truthfully I didn’t really know. You can never really know how people will respond. The fear and the doubt of judgment will always linger in the back of your mind.
“And?” Kathleen asked.
Lilian looked around confused. “And? What do you mean?”
Kathleen smiled. “Honey, your father and I have known you were gay since you were fifteen.”
“What?” Lilian was flabbergasted.
“I accidentally saw you and Sophie Reynolds making out through your bedroom window once when I was picking up the trashcans in the driveway after that wind storm. She had spent the night and your blinds were open. I happened to glance up and see the two of you smooching up a storm. I kind of figured.”
Lilian burst out laughing. “Wow, that was the first girl I ever kissed,” she said.
“I thought it probably was. At the time we didn’t know if you were experimenting or if you were just discovering who you were. We didn’t care. Your sexuality is something that everyone has to discover on their own,” Kathleen said.
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