“Oh, my God!” Lilian said.
I could not hold my laughter in anymore. “Just to think how scared you were to tell them.”
Lilian was almost crying with joy now, tears beginning to seep down her cheeks.
I wiped her eyes. “Honey, it’s ok.”
“Honey? So I assume that you two are an item?” Mr. Grey asked.
Lilian smiled. “Yes. Mom and Dad, this is my girlfriend Cassie Powel.”
“Nice to meet you again, Cassie,” Kathleen joked.
“Thank you, Kathleen. And Mr. Grey.”
“Mr. Grey is my father. And he’s dead. Call me Charlie.”
“Ok, Charlie.”
Charlie and Kathleen stood up then and wrapped their daughter in a big, loving hug that warmed my heart. I could not believe that this had gone so well; the relief that covered the room was indescribable. Lilian hugged her parents tightly, still crying tears of total relief and joy.
“Honey, you should never have been scared to tell us something like this. We love you; you are our daughter. And we love you for just who you are,” Kathleen said.
“I love you, mom,” Lilian said.
“Hey, what are you doing over there?” Charlie asked pointing at me.
He stepped back and opened his arm for me to join the group hug.
I quickly stepped into the warmth and the love that was gathered in my home that night.
“Well, I tell you sweetie, you sure got good taste in women,” Charlie said. “Fun, smart, and damn pretty too.”
Kathleen shot him a look and rolled her eyes.
“What? I can appreciate a beautiful woman,” Charlie said.
I joined them in laughter.
CHAPTER 11
“Wow, I can’t believe the amazing power of an Arizona sunset,” Lilian said.
We were walking hand in hand down the street we lived on, enjoying a break from our respective workdays. Lilian was right, the sunsets in Arizona were perfect. So many shades of reds and oranges all mingling together as the sun moved farther and farther away.
“So, how was the first month in the new shop?” I asked.
“It was great,” Lilian replied.
A month before she had finally taken the plunge and opened up her own small nursery. She was going to start small and if it was successful then she would be expanding. I had never seen her happier. The day she said goodbye to that sucky retail job I thought she was going to run through the streets singing and dancing with strangers. She was on a high like no other. It was beautiful to see and it made me so happy.
“That’s awesome, baby. I’m glad to see you living your dream and I know you will be great at whatever you do.”
“Thanks honey. I’m not sure I could have done it without your support.”
“Well, that is what I’m here for.”
“I thought you were there to be my sex slave whenever I need you?” Lilian asked with a smile.
“Oh, that goes without saying,” I said. I kissed her and we continued to walk.
“So, have you heard from the publisher? You still on track for publication next month?” Lilian asked.
I smiled. “Yes, we are.”
I was so excited; a big name publisher had discovered my blog and my YouTube channel. They had offered me a large advance to do a book about ghost hunting. I finished the book and they loved it. Now the book was scheduled to launch next month and a book tour was scheduled shortly after that. It seemed that all of my dreams were coming true. Well, maybe just one more…
“I’m so proud of you,” Lilian said.
“Proud enough to marry me?” I asked.
Lilian stopped and looked at me, her face full of shock. “What did you say?”
I smiled and pulled the ring out of my pocket. Then I got down on one knee.
“Lilian Grey, will you be my wife?”
Lilian fought through the tears and finally said, “Yes. Oh, yes!”
I placed the ring on her finger and kissed her. Then we held each other for the longest time.
The Mechanic
~ Bonus Story ~
A First Time Straight To Gay Lesbian Romance
Okay, so she has a kid. If anything, that’s a strike against me. I mean, I can’t afford to help raise a kid. It’s bad. But, she’s amazing. She’s sweet and kind and everything that I’m not. Let’s hope she doesn’t realize how great she is… and how great I’m not. I mean, kicked out by 16 and working as a car mechanic? Even she couldn’t make that look good.
It’s fine though. She’ll love me, right? Somebody say I’m right. I need it! I mean… she acts like she does. But she loves Sarah more than me.
Sarah is a little angel of a kid. And I can’t make her decide against doing everything for her kid, just to be with a poor little gal like me. It’s so wrong. But… I want it so much. I want to be part of her family.
That can’t be wrong.
* * *
Chapter 1
I swear I had some form of my life mapped out before this all went down. Some semblance of a plan did exist for me. It wasn’t detailed and more of a dream than any reality, but I knew what I wanted. I’d go to college and become a brilliant, successful woman. I wanted to become a physical therapist! Do something to help others who turn out like dad did when he broke his leg a few years back, and people much worse.
I can’t fix the world. Nobody can. But maybe, doing one kind thing at a time, we can make the world just that much better. Even if it’s difficult. That’s all it takes… one random act of kindness at a time.
If It wasn’t for my own bad behavior it would have happened just as I sorta mapped it out too! No. I can’t call it that. I refuse to call it that. It wasn’t bad behavior. It was two consenting adults who thought we loved each other deeply. I thought this was the endgame, and I just couldn’t be more wrong, but that doesn’t make it awful. Sarah is many things, but she is NOT a mistake.
In hindsight, it wasn’t actually my brightest moment. I mean, I was just a teenager, for Christ's sake! I had just got out of high school and he and I were "in love". We thought we would end up together and never would we break up. We were happy and would be happy forever. I guess I was too close to my parent's behavior when they were young.
I hate it when that happens. I look just like my mom, and I act like her sometimes too. There isn’t anything wrong with mom, per se. But… I am my own person!
I guess I deserve the comparison. I did get pregnant as a teenager just like her. I wasn’t the best student and was more focused and living my life and enjoying myself than my studies. When I got into my dream school – well, dream as in doable. I woulda preferred an ivy league but beggars can’t be choosers – I thought I was going places. The world will be my oyster and I will achieve every dream in my head.
Of course, I just had to get careless. I had to believe I knew better than everyone around me. I had to have that drink with Finn. Which turned into three. Four. Of course, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. Of COURSE, Finn and I totally forgot about the condom that I kept in my purse, just in case. Fat lot of good that did me, right? Of course, I forgot to take birth control. And of course, the morning after pill somehow didn’t work. Just my luck, I guess.
When Finn and I learned that I was pregnant, everything changed. I felt nauseous. I blanched and had to hold myself back, trying to calm myself. There is a child growing in me. A child! I’m barely not a child. Even if I’m an adult, I’m clearly not a responsible one. Finn even turned green, began puking in a bucket. It… it wasn’t what we expected to feel. We thought when it would happen and we’d be jumping for joy. Even if it was too early for the two of us, we thought we would be the perfect family.
We agree now, our teenage “love story” was based more on aesthetic value than genuine devotion. He had golden-tan skin and fiery red hair. He even had soft light brown eyes. He was gangly and covered in the cutest freckles but when he smiled, he blew everyone else out of the water.
Of course, he would fall in love with a girl, who had her families name passed down to her, named Amber. Attach to her and never want to let go. It was practically written in the stars we’d be together.
As for me, a twig thin build. An albino! With iridescent blue eyes and hair dyed rainbow colors. I didn’t like my natural pigment. So many people have told me I look like a vampire, and I hate it. A sickly pale, paper white girl. I lack any color, especially that golden color. Of course, I'd fall for a boy named Finn. Of course, he'd be bright and vibrant enough to change my life for the better. He brightened my life, but now, with another life, I need to light the way for, it suddenly felt too bright. The sun glaring down at me that would permanently scar my eyes.
This revelation actually shocked us out of our delusions. Would we get married and be together forever? After spending most of my pregnancy together, we both realized how laughable that was. I was too much like my mother is; stubborn as a mule, quick to anger, and slow to accept any real change. Finn was like the ever changing wind, the river that always flows and becomes new.
Finn didn’t get how angry I got and I don’t get him somehow being calm all the time. We may have loved each other at some point but we could never see eye to eye, and it felt like neither of us really tried to see the other side, no matter how much we loved the other. In the end, I had no choice. I had to break up with him. I just… every time I closed my eyes and imagined us together on a long-term basis… it was miserable. For one of us.
Either it is a world in which I became a physical therapist and we took turns taking care of the baby, while Finn never got to do what he’s always wanted and travel. He never gets to explore the world that he had always wanted to see with his own eyes. I would be happy as would he… for a time. I could tell from the look in his eyes, he would slowly grow to resent being with me. he would learn to hate my child and the life we built together. The sparkle in his warm, chocolate eyes when he stared at me would slowly dim. It would morph into a storm of resentment that would destroy me. Is it selfish to prefer a clean split to that horrible reality?
The other possibility is a world in which his dreams are accomplished, he circles the globe making the world a better place as he escapes the mundanity of regular life. Where am I? Either the housewife who stays at home and takes care of the children until her doting husband bursts in the door with another exciting tale. Would he be gone for days, weeks or even months? I wouldn’t know.
If I’m not the housewife, I’d be his fellow adventurer. I’d have to constantly adjust and raise my child to adjust to new experiences and new lives. I almost felt sick at the idea. Too much effort. Too many nights and lives and changes. I could never be calm. There would always be chaos and change and I hate it.
I knew I had to leave him. He begged me not to. He swore that he would do anything for me, anything for our child. He was telling the truth, I knew it. But the truth changes and I couldn’t let that happen.
Finn promised to pay child support, but I refused. I knew he didn’t want our child and I wanted a clean break. He visits every once in a while and sends gifts, but I really don’t want that money that he got, who knows how?
I think he is somewhere in Europe right now. Maybe he’s in France, flirting with beautiful women or something equally as cliché. I wouldn’t know and I didn’t care. I had stopped following him on social media and only kept his photo albums because of my child, my little princess, she deserved to know about her biological father.
“Amber!” Mom called me, interrupting my reminiscing, holding a bundled child in her arms. “Sarah woke up.”
I groaned and got up. I looked up at my mom. She looked like I would if I had not been so drastic about my appearance. With short white hair, chin length and skin so white that her pink lipstick stuck out. She looked just as severe as she would act sometimes.
In her arms was a wriggling little angel. Sarah has just turned two. She’s the world’s most spoiled little monster. She had her father's red hair, but not in a bushy mane. Her hair was straight and dull, always worn in the cutest pigtails. She had soft golden-brown skin and the cutest freckles dotting her nose. Her eyes were huge and full of love. She looked at me in a way that inspired me to be a better person, to earn that childish level of love. “Mommy!” My little angel yelled, reaching for me, “pi’ me up!” She demanded.
“You are a bossy little baby.” I declared, as I walked over to her and hugged her. "Thanks for helping out with Sarah, Mom," I commented, smiling warmly at her. “I’m almost done with a new commission. This one is worth enough to get Sarah the expensive diapers for the next couple of months!”
I could remember when she was just born. When I hid her from my family for as long as I could, it was only because I was afraid they wouldn’t forgive me. They’d kick me out and call Sarah a bastard child! I would be homeless, poor, without anyone to lean on, and without a college degree to get a good job.
I didn’t get it when they found out? First of all, my psychic Aunt Liz – that wasn’t even close to her real name, but no one who knew her real name would say it, saying they cared more about their skin than about whoever is asking - was the one who told everyone. She still lives in Trinidad, but she called us on the phone and told us, the part of the tree that denoted our side of the family’s newest flower sprouted a green mango. She told us that meant I was pregnant with a girl.
That is how everyone learned. How is she always right? It is so annoying sometimes.
Lucky for me, my family is so obsessed with children. Nobody even had TIME to be angry or yell at me because of my deception because they were busy buying new things for the baby.
I was doing freelance work to help out, while still going to college. I needed their support financially and to take care of Sarah while I was too busy. I was so thankful to my parents to do all that.
It didn’t always seem like I am, but I am. I can’t give Sarah the best life on my own. And I care more about Sarah than I do my own pride. It is really hard for a girl to admit something like that, but I had no choice. I had to admit it.
“One day,” I swore to Sarah, “I’m gonna give you everything you deserve in this world. Everything.”
Chapter 2
It’s not as hard now than it was as first. She may be too smart for her good, and she’s a little troublemaker. She is also just as polite as you can expect a two-year-old to be and trickier than any given six-year-old.
Tonight is gonna be my first night out with my friends in a while. Sarah is staying home cause we are going drinking. I was wearing my sexiest red cocktail dress. One of my friends gave it to me when she got it from her aunt because it makes her look yellow with her complexion.
“Bye, mom! I’ll be back late, don’t wait up!” I called as I saw my friends parked in their old truck outside.
“What do you mean, late?” I could practically hear the salt and bitterness in her voice. Mo – Pearl said. I call her Pearl when she gets like this because that is her first name. And right now, she’s acting more of an authoritative boss than a Mother. "You will be home at 11 PM sharp. And you will not be noticeably drunk when you get home. You are only 20.”
My eyebrows furrow in confusion. “What are you even talking about? 11PM? Not allowed to be “noticeably drunk”? You’ve never told me this before!”
“And look how much that worked out for me and your father,” Pearl retorted, looking down at me.
“That’s not relevant!” I argued angrily, offended that I am not even trusted by my very own mother. “It’s not like I’m gonna get in bed with a stranger or-”
“Amber, I’m giving you a choice.” Mom snapped, “Either you follow my rules or you get someone else to watch Sarah.”
I bit the inside of my mouth roughly to keep myself from doing something too rash. I winced at the coppery taste of my blood. I wanted to scream and rage. I am an adult. I am a college student. Shouldn’t I be allowed to go out and actually have some fun?
I’m not stupid enough to actually say that, though. I mean- I’m clearly not that smart. But, I know how to figure out my best choice.
Sometimes it feels like I am not my own person. Mom controls my life now. It is my fault, but it’s still not fair. Well, considering some horror stories I've heard about people like me, it is kinda fair. It doesn't mean I cannot hate it, though. She just wants me to be better than her, not make more of the same mistakes she made when she was my age. On the other hand, I’m an adult! All my friends get to do things they like and I never do.
But, this is the best I can do. My mom has refused to let me out with my friends for a long time. Since before she was even born, actually. It's almost like since I got pregnant, all the trust is gone. My mom has gone from being someone I can trust with anything to someone I hide everything from. I hate it, I miss the mother who believed the world in me, than someone who believes nothing about me is good.
I have to accept it. I mean, at least this time I am ALLOWED to hang out with my friends. I had been asking for months and every time was “seriously, don’t you have a responsible bone in your body?”, “And you expect us to watch after your child while you have fun?”, or the worst one, “Maybe if you spent as much time on your studies as you do shirking your responsibilities, you wouldn’t be in this mess, hmmm?”
All my whining and complaining about my mother’s threatening and manipulating daddy, and finally I was rewarded with one night out to the club with my friends, and I was determined to enjoy it! The thing that finally swayed her opinion was Klaire. She is such a suck up that she was able to convince my mom that I should be able to go out and hang with my friends. I don’t even get how she even did that, but I know not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
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