I texted Nadia and got ready for our date. Fantasizing about what we would say, and do, how the date would even end... what would happen after the date had ended.
I would kiss her, find that her lips tasted ever better than they looked. She would purr at the flavor of my lips and I would moan at the taste of hers.
She would wrap her arms around me, and I would kiss her deeply as I removed her Hijab. I would feast my eyes on her beautiful locks for the first time. It didn’t matter what her hair looked like, though I imagined it a curly, soft brown. Natural color the way my hair never was.
I would run my fingers through them and enjoy the silky texture as I kissed her. She would mewl and I would smirk as I pushed her down on my bed. The bed would creak and I would assure her not to worry, my parents aren't home and I promise they won't be. Not for a while.
She would relax into the kiss and allow her passion to seep through. When we kissed, the fireworks that lit up the night sky would be like nothing. As I kiss down her body, I would taste only her skin and the victory of being with the most amazing woman I have ever been given the gift of being with.
I will let my hands explore her body and I would cup her breasts in my hands. They would just barely fit in my hands. The perfect size. I would begin to kiss and nip them in a way I knew I liked, she would enjoy it just as much as I enjoy it on myself.
I reach into my the drawer next to my bed and pull out the vibrator I keep next to my bed. I slip a condom on it – I always use a condom with it, it makes it much easier to clean, and I press it into her.
She mewls and writhes on the bed as I turn it on and begin to torment her with it. I watch as I twist and thrust the vibrator, getting turned on as I bring her to a release with only the toy inside of her.
When she comes down from the second high I wrenched out of her, using the contraption, she pushes me down on the bed.
"It's your turn," Her smooth voice was a seductive hiss. "Don't worry, I'll make you feel real good, Babe." She purrs in my ear.
I shudder as her hands explored my skin, ripping my clothes off as if she cannot stand one more moment without feeling her skin on mine.
She'd kiss me right where I was most sensitive. She would be so much better than me at this. She would push me down and kiss every inch of my skin. I would shudder at the feeling of her hands on my skin. I would moan as her hands caressed my tender flesh.
“Please,” I would beg her, wanting nothing more than for her to stop teasing me. Only then would she let her lips go down to explore my pussy. Her tongue would rub over me and I would be shivering as she did this to me.
"Mama?" My fantasies were abruptly cut off by the child staring down at me. That was an accusing gleam in her eye. She is spending too much time with my mom.
Bad Amber. Keep your thoughts PG. There is a child in the room.
I let Sarah choose my dress and I smiled. I wore the one she chose even though my fantasy entailed me wearing another. She was my baby after all. I trust her judgment.
When Nadia came to the door I heard her talking with my dad. “Oh yes,” She commented as she was looking at a few pictures on the mantle. “She was quite pretty as a child. And who is this?”
“That’s Sarah and we have to be going right now!” I rushed her out the door. I can’t let her know about Sarah yet. We barely know each other. I’m not ashamed of Sarah but… Sarah is not quite the kind of surprise you share on a first date. She’s third date material. When you start actually sharing who you are after you are done making yourself seem better than you are to make the other person like you a lot.
“Oh.” She seemed sad for a moment before she shook her head. She mumbled something under her breath that I couldn’t quite make out, but it sounded like “not ready” and “it’s fine”.
Oh no. She suspected it. She’s not ready to be with someone with a child. Change the subject. Change the subject.
"What the fuck? Whose car is that?!" I gestured to the car in front of me. It was a cherry red uncomfortably expensive thing. I felt like I shouldn't be allowed to sit in it.
“Oh, this?” She seemed almost embarrassed. “My brother bought it for me. He even has to pay the taxes on it because it is too much.” She bit her bottom lip, refusing to meet my eyes “I wanted to send it back, but you can’t just send back a gift given on Eid. It would be in bad taste.”
“Why would you send it back?” I balked at the thought. “It’s so nice!”
“I made my decision.” She declared haughtily. I didn’t know her voice could even sound like that. “And I shall not back down. This car is a symbol of everything my family and I will never agree on.”
She realized how she as sounding and her cheeks turned the most attractive shade of rosy-pink. “Uhmm… We should… er… to the ice cream shop!” She declared as she got into the car.
I got into the car gingerly. This might be the nicest car I've ever seen, and if anything, she is rather ashamed of it. She is so different, it's confusing and refreshing all at once.
“So,” I started, wracking my brain for a topic. Say something. Say anything! Make it sound sweet. That’s what Finn liked most about me, my sweet smile and kind temperament. “What’s your fav-“
“Tell me about, Sarah.” She cut me off. The question was half-way between a demand and an inquiry.
I wasn’t ashamed of my daughter.
Sarah is my pride and joy.
Even if it ruins our budding relationship.
Sarah is my pride and joy.
Even if I have to give up what I really want in order for her to be happy and healthy.
Sarah is my pride and joy.
“She’s an angel.” I declared. I decided against saying she was my daughter, at least not yet. She’ll find out sooner or later. "She's getting a little spoiled so I could call her a demon sometimes. But all in all, she's an absolute delight. She gets so angry whenever test time is coming up. She knows I’ll focus more on the test than on her and she feels she deserves more attention than that.”
There was a soft smile on her face. She looked so accepting right now. I could almost cry. “Assad’s son, Wyatt, is – was – the same way.” She seemed almost sad as she was thinking about it. She quickly dropped the issue, “Assad is my brother.” She explained to me.
I smiled at her. Did she like kids? Oh my gosh, this is the best thing that I have ever heard. It feels too much like everything is going the way I want it. I could just taste the disappointment I just know I am going to feel when I learn that she likes kids she just doesn’t want to raise them now. She’s gonna tell me that she’s not into helping raise a child.
I had to change the subject. Avoid it as much as possible. The inevitable doesn’t mean it has to be just right now. Inevitable just means… it will happen eventually.
I can deal with that.
I can deal with the future in the future. Just… let me enjoy doing this. Let me enjoy the now before I lose it all.
That was the motto I had for our entire date. I admit, it was not a great motto, but it is important for me to not get my hopes too high.
She brought me a flower basket and a stuffed animal for Sarah. When she came to my house for the date, it was early enough that I was still in class. She helped babysit Sarah and tried teaching her the alphabet.
It was the motto that went on our second date.
She came early again to help out with Sarah, who had taken to calling her “Mummy” because I was “Mommy”. Sarah declared that she was a princess, and I was the queen, and Nadia was the good dragon who protected the princess from meanies.
I didn’t have the heart to explain to her that fairy tales don’t quite work out that way. If it makes her happy, she can believe that.
By the beginning of our third date, I just had to tell Nadia. She was ingraining herself into our family. She was taking care of Sarah as if she loved her.
While we were at a carnival, overlooking the city in a Ferris wheel, I had to say it. I
t was so romantic and beautiful as I saw the stars glitter, along with her beautiful eyes. “Sarah is my daughter. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but I was afraid of what you’d think.”
I closed my eyes and winced. I envisioned her yelling at me. Telling me I tricked her. Throwing the stuffed tiger, she won for Sarah, at me and calling me a liar. A phony manipulator that used her to make herself better.
“Thank you for finally telling me.” She pressed her lips to mine. “I’m glad you trust me enough to do it.” She whispered, before kissing me again.
This was a million times better than the first. I couldn’t even describe how good it was to be able to taste her soft lips without my head being fuzzy. The electricity pooled around my body without leading me to feel nauseous.
“HOW ARE YOU ACTING SO NONCHALANT RIGHT NOW??” I yelled. I couldn’t help it. I just couldn’t comprehend what was happening right now.
She shushed me. Gesturing to the other couples on the Ferris wheel. "Well, because I already knew. I figured it out about our first date."
Wait…
WHAT?
Chapter 6
I heard myself giggle at her response. It was just too adorable. She was so shocked. I couldn’t help myself, so I pulled out my phone so I could snap a quick picture of her face. Her lips forming a perfect ‘o’ and her doe eyes as wide as they could get. I’ve never seen a real human being make that expression before.
“Well,” I decided to explain and save her the trouble of figuring it out on her own. “On that day you came into the mechanic, one of my coworkers came over and told me you had a kid with and ex-boyfriend. And when I came over for the date I saw Sarah. It isn’t actually that hard to connect the dots.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me you knew?” She got down from the Ferris wheel when the ride stopped. She the threw herself onto the grass and declared, in a melodramatic fashion the likes of which I have never seen in real life, “Do you have even half an idea how much I was freaking out trying to tell you? Trying to figure out how to tell you best and when to-”
“That was your decision to make. Not mine. It was for you to tell me.” I replied. “Besides, how could I not love her? Sarah is a little angel. Now, come on. Get off the floor, you have grass and dirt all over your cute outfit now. Let’s go to your home, give Sarah her new dolly, and tell her goodnight before her bedtime.”
She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. “Don’t hug me NOW,” I complained, whining childishly. “You’re covered in dirt and grass.”
She laughed. “Come on, you could even stay over if you want.”
My cheeks flushed and my mind went to a vivid imagining of what the two of us could get up to in her bedroom.
She let me into her room and locked the door. We were all alone now. She pressed her lips to mine and I flushed a dark red. Her lips tasted like honey. A spark went from her plump lips to mine. It traveled all the way down to my toes and made my head feel fuzzy. I felt my eyes drift shut, not being able to focus on the beautiful sight in front of me, wanting to focus only on the sensations.
The scent of her assaulted me. She smelled like Strawberries, from her perfume and hair. But underneath that, she smelled soft and clean. A scent that was just so uniquely Amber that I can't get enough of. It made me melt even more into the kiss.
I wrapped my hands around her neck as I opened my mouth to her demanding tongue. I whimpered against her lips as her tongue explored my mouth. Her hands begin to wander to under my shirt and I shivered at the feeling.
Her hands slowly explored my not-so-toned stomach, I whimpered as her delicate hands went up from my stomach to ghost over the bottom of my bra.
I had a painful realization that this, doing this before marriage, was against everything I was taught. And I realized, I didn’t care. I. Did. Not. Care. All I cared about was how I felt, and right now, I felt a powerful need to wrap my arms around that beautiful woman and tell her how much I cared about her. I wanted to show her how much I loved her, physically show it to her.
She slapped my hand away and I flushed a soft pink, pulling away from the kiss. Did I do something …. Something wrong? Oh no. What if I offended her somehow?
“Relax.” She could clearly feel me tense up, “I just want to make you feel good.” She whispered, relaxing all my worries. before kissing me softly. She wanted to kiss my neck and she asked me if it was okay to remove my head wrapping. I bit my lip before nodding in acquiesce and helping her remove it.
She pulled away to look at my hair for the first time. I blushed. It was a frizzy, mud brown mess. I didn’t want her to actually focus on it.
She ran her fingers through the hair and sighed softly. “It’s so smooth. And soft.” She spoke softly, before returning to her mission and kissing my neck again.
I shivered at the foreign sensation of her soft lips on my neck. The spark got even stronger as she kissed and sucked on my neck. Oh dear. I hissed at the feeling and felt her laughter more than I heard her. She liked that she could make me make that sound.
She kissed down my neck and I turned a darker red. Oh… oooh. She removed my shirt and my bra.
She stared at me in my half nude glory. I flushed. My body is not as perfect as it used to be. I gained some weight from all the cheap food I’ve been eating and most day’s I’ve been sleeping through my usual gym time. “Beautiful,” Her voice rasped. “You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”
I opened my mouth to say something, probably to diffuse the tension that built up when she spoke. I was all choked up. Nobody… had ever said anything half as kind to me. I choked on my words as her lips found purchase on one of my hardened nipples. Aaah! It was like the shock went straight from my nipple to my throbbing core. How?
Her fingers played with my other nipple as she sucked on that one. I whimpered as she teased me. “A-Amber.” I whimpered. “Amber please.” I was begging her. To stop? To continue? I don’t even know. But I need it.
“Shh.” She silenced me, with another kiss on the lips. "Don't worry, I'll make you feel good." And then her lips were going south. Her hands running over my body and caressing, reverently like I was some exquisite thing. One of her hands touched the wet spot on my pants, where my juices had soaked through. "See? I'll make you feel amazing, I swear."
I helped her remove my pants and my underwear. Her hands ran over my legs as she put a dental dam on me. Her lips then teased me by kissing around my thighs, avoiding where I actually needed her.
“AMB-uhhh.” I tried to reprimand her for teasing me the way she did. She cut me off by immediately setting to work on my neglected pussy. She found my clitoris within seconds and wrapped her mouth around the nub, her tongue caressing it.
She knew just how to make me crazy.
Oh god. Right there. That’s just the spot.
When she hit just the right spot, I cried out as my hips shook. I whimpered and writhed beneath her experienced mouth.
I was almost embarrassed by my lack of stamina, as my orgasm coursed through me after only a few minutes.
"Yes, let's go," I said, shaking the thought from my head.
When we got to her home, I immediately ran into her mother. She was so severe looking, I always thought she would look more natural in a detention facility. Maybe that’s why she hated me. She could read my thoughts. Okay, to be honest, I don’t quite understand why. I mean, I guess I could understand why. The same reason I was to marry the man my mother set me up with. A girl needs the assets, the money, to like a happy life with the person they choose.
I have some things, however, money is not one of them. When it comes to the money, I am poor, even though I am rich in many other ways. How am I to provide her with the life she needs? She needs financial stability. She needs someone who can take care of her and Sarah.
I could…I hope. One day I can. When I graduate. When I join that big tech company that I’m definitely gonna get into. When I get a stable job and a huge six-figure income. But, wi
ll that day come soon enough. Do I have the right to take little Sarah away from some hypothetical person who could buy her the world?
I don’t think Amber has ever thought of that.
That is why I am afraid.
One day, she's gonna realize. It's either my happiness or Sarah's potential happiness.
As terrible as it is, I think, in that case, she would choose Sarah.
She would choose the best life for her daughter over anyone she likes any day of the year.
No one can really fault her for that.
I don't think I'd make the same decision if I was her. But, maybe Amber and I are just a little bit too different.
Chapter 7
Watching her think will never get boring. I think this about both Nadia and my baby girl, and it is no less true. Sarah’s eyes light up when she figures out the solution to the problem in a way that twists my stomach with happiness. Nadia’s face twists and changes as her eyes dart around as if she sees things.
I didn’t like how she seemed at the end of her thinking this time. There was a look of resignation on her face, her lips curled down in a frown as she realized something. What… what is so bad that it made her so sad? Whatever it was, I hated it.
She sure is glancing at my parents a lot…
That's it! Nadia probably just misses her family or is upset that my parents seem to have this insane idea that Nadia is actually a negative influence on me. That is still the craziest thought I think my parents have ever entertained.
She does make naughty thoughts cross my mind quite often. It’s not my fault. I’m only human. I don’t think anyone has the ability to be around such beauty and grace and genuinely not have such thoughts run amok.
What would it be like? To have her in my arms as we played the night away. To be able to kiss her and feel her lips against mine. An explosion of feelings going throughout my body that electrifies everything as we explore each other’s body as if we had never done so before.
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