Steamy Dorm

by Kristine Robinson

  It was the same words that practically everyone had been telling me for weeks now. Useless advice. But it didn’t seem so now coming from Gabi. Something in my chest loosened.

  “It’s not that easy,” I said. My lips were numb. “It still hurts. It hurts worse than anything I could have ever imagined.”

  Gabi lowered her eyes. “Oh, I know,” she said quietly. “Trust me, I know. But you’re not doing yourself any favors by holding onto it any longer than you have to.”

  What she was saying made sense, but I didn’t have the faintest clue how to let go of the guilt and the grief.

  “In any case,” Gabi said as she swirled her drink around, “you don’t have to go through it alone. I’ll be your friend, Connie. You can talk to me whenever you want. We can get through this together.”

  “I…thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me.” At that moment, I felt lighter inside, as if a great toxic weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I still hurt, I still hurt a lot, but I felt better.

  I almost felt alive again.

  “How do you do it?” I asked Gabi suddenly. “How do you deal with the pain?”

  She smiled at me. It was a strange smile. She drained her glass; almost the entire pitcher was gone. “We all have our ways,” she said simply.

  I stared at her glass. I didn’t like how much Gabi was drinking, nor the way that the alcohol hadn’t even seemed to affect her at all. It suggested that Gabi had done quite a lot of drinking lately, enough to build up a resistance to it.

  But Gabi was right. We all have our ways.

  As we bid each other goodbye and made plans to meet up again soon, I wondered if Gabi might just be my way.

  Chapter Three

  As the weeks went by, I saw a lot of Gabi. We met up after my shift at work. Sometimes we went over to my house, more often we grabbed dinner or drinks, or went to the mall. By mutual consent, we avoided going over to her house. I wasn’t sure if I could bring myself to see Tina’s house again. I spent so much time there when Tina was alive, and I wasn’t ready to face the pain that seeing it again would bring.

  But being around Gabi wasn’t nearly as painful as I’d feared; in fact, the more time I spent with her, the better I felt; like a deep wound slowly healing. Gabi was like her sister in many ways, but she was also her own person and not just a carbon copy of Tina, as I was quickly beginning to realize.

  It made the fact that I was quickly falling for her that much more bearable.

  At first, I tried to fight the growing attraction towards Gabi. Whenever I was around her, my heart raced and my hands shook, and I tried without avail to push away the delicious fantasies swirling in my brain.

  The dreams first began about two weeks after first meeting up with Gabi.

  In the first one (and there were oh so many more afterwards, nearly every night) Gabi lay on her back on a sandy, deserted beach, wearing nothing but a pair of skimpy denim shorts that were unbuttoned and soaked with sea-spray. Her tanned skin glistened with baby oil, and her lips were moist and parted. Her eyes, glittering with passion and desire, found mine.

  “Connie,” she purred. I knew it was only a dream, but damn! This was the most vivid one I’d ever had. I couldn’t take my eyes away from her firm, perky bare breasts. She arched her back, thrusting them up higher. My eyes dipped down her smooth, flat stomach, to the waistband of her shorts, which were unbuttoned. I caught a peek of her hot-pink panties, and I shivered with a delicious wave of pure lust.

  “Touch me, Connie,” she whispered huskily, and I smiled to myself. Who was I to deny this beautiful angel anything?

  I knelt down in the sand beside her, my movements slow and deliberate. When my lips brushed against hers, she drew in her breath in a quick gasp. The hunger consumed me, and I slipped my tongue in her mouth. She tasted sweet, like cherries, and oh my fucking God, it was heaven.

  I cupped her soft, firm, round breast, running my thumb slowly across her pink nipple, and she sighed with pleasure. I massaged it, teased it, felt it harden underneath the ball of my thumb. I caught it in between my thumb and forefinger and rolled it around, pinching it a little. She bit her lower lip, and oh dear lord, she was so fucking sexy.

  I trailed kisses down her throat, across her collarbone, and my lips grazed her nipples before I finally moved back up to her soft pink lips. She gasped for more, and I smiled devilishly at her.

  Oh, I’d give her more, all right.

  My fingertips traced her smooth, flat stomach, the curves of her hips, and her eyes were bright and starry as she let out a whimper against my lips.

  She was driving me wild!

  My fingers dipped lower, and her breathing grew rough and ragged as I slipped my hands underneath the waistband of her panties, dipping between her thighs, and oh fuck, she was so soft and smooth and wet!

  I swirled my fingers around, and her moans were music to my ears.

  “Make me come, Connie,” she whimpered.

  Oh, fuck yes.

  The waves crashed against the beach, their power echoing the roar of my own burning hunger as I knelt down in between Gabi’s parted thighs, slipping her panties off and tossing them on the sand. My eyes were glued to her. Her lips were plump and swollen, and glistening with the evidence of her desire.

  My mouth drifted down, my tongue darting in between her smooth, dripping wet, clean-shaven folds, and oh fuck, she tasted so sweet, like honey. She tossed her head back and let out a deep, husky moan as I slipped my tongue back and forth across the top of her lips, tracing slow, deliberate circles in her sweet wetness. The taste of her, so sweet and delicious, filled my mouth and intoxicated my mind, and as I increased my tempo, her soft moans and gasps and squeals increased in pitch and frequency. She ran her hands through my hair, gripping it and pressing me against her more urgently. She tossed her hips, and her thighs began to quiver. Her climax was approaching, and oh fuck yes, she was going to come--

  Just like that, my dream shattered and I jerked into a sitting position. I was drenched with sweat, and tremors of delight coursed through my body. I was achingly wet, my panties hot and soaked. I let out my breath in a shuddery sigh as disappointment overtook my pleasure. It had been such a good dream; I wished it was real.

  I dreamt of Gabi every night from that day on.

  I felt so guilty; surely I had no right to feel this way, especially not towards Tina’s sister. I swore to stop thinking about her.

  But it was futile. Gabi was incredibly sexy; she had a tight college girl’s body, and with her waterfall of shimmering blond hair and bright hazel eyes, and her soft, kissable lips, it was hopeless.

  But it was so much more than that. Gabi was smart, and witty, and funny. But most importantly, she was helping me heal.

  I began to live again. I wore makeup and actually tried to make an effort to get through the day. Sometimes I even talked to my parents. I was still grieving, still dealing with the loss and the guilt, but it was easier. And one night, as I was falling asleep, I jolted awake as I realized that I had gone most of the afternoon without thinking about Tina, for the first time since her death.

  One Monday afternoon, about three weeks after first agreeing to talk to Gabi, she called me and asked if I wanted to go swimming with her.

  “Sure,” I said casually, even as my heart pounded at the thought of her in a tiny bikini.

  Then I caught myself, and cautiously I asked, “In your pool?” My heart sank. I spent so many summer afternoons swimming with Tina in her pool. The thought of going back there without her, splashing and having fun and taking indecent peeks at her sister…it seemed more than wrong.

  “No,” she said quickly, and it seemed to me that she was thinking the same thing. “Community pool. Who knows, maybe we can see some hot babes.”

  My heart leapt in my throat. “Uh…what?” That was new to me. She already knew I was a lesbian, of course, but her?

  Was I going to be in luck?

  Then I immediately shut that voi
ce down. I couldn’t think about that, no way.

  “Don’t act so surprised,” she said with a little giggle. “I was in college, remember? It’s practically written on the acceptance letter that you have to experiment.”

  All through the drive over to the community pool, I had an internal battle with myself. Should I or shouldn’t I?

  I met her at the edge of the shimmering water, which in this heat was already crowded with swimmers. I was already dressed in a white bikini (and for a split second I thought I saw her eyes lingering on the swell of my chest, and my heart about stopped), but to my disappointment she was dressed in a t-shirt and long basketball shorts.

  “You’re not planning on swimming in those, are you?” I asked jokingly.

  She looked uncomfortable. “Why not? I have a bathing suit underneath.”

  I smiled. I was going to get those clothes off of her one way or another. My days were unbearable enough as it is. I was allowed a cheap thrill here or there, right? Besides, my dreams needed new material. “I think it’s in the rules that you have to wear a bathing suit,” I said, pointing at the long list of rules pinned up by the lifeguard tower.

  “Really?” She squinted at the sign.

  “Yeah, definitely.” I actually had no idea. Probably not. But maybe she wouldn’t look too closely at the sign.

  She bit her lower lip, then sighed. “All right, fine.” She bent down and stripped off her clothes.

  Wow. With difficulty, I restrained myself from staring at her too hard. Her skin was the perfect shade of summer bronze, and the silver bikini clung to her curves, leaving very little to the imagination. A silver piercing glinted at her belly button, and her golden hair fell in soft waves across her shoulders.

  She was even more beautiful than I’d thought, and even the power of my frequent, sexy dreams couldn’t prepare me for the full sight of Gabi’s perfect, scantily clad body.

  She didn’t seem to notice my staring, for which I was grateful. But as she walked to the edge of the pool, I saw something that made me gasp out loud.

  “Gabi, what happened to your legs?”

  She turned around. Was that panic I saw flickering in her eyes? Whatever it was, it was gone quickly. She followed my gaze down to the three long straight scars on the inside of her right thigh.

  “Oh. That.” Her voice was flat. “I cut myself shaving.”

  “Really?” My voice dripped skepticism. There was no way she got those scars from shaving nicks. They were way too long, and straight, and deep…those scars were made on purpose.

  “Yeah.” Her expression was defiant. “So are we going to swim, or what?”

  And now I was faced with a dilemma. Should I argue with Gabi right here and now? Force her to tell me the truth? Or let it go and pursue it another day?

  I didn’t want her to be angry with me, and I didn’t want to spoil our good time.

  So when she jumped in the water, I jumped in after her, and we never mentioned her scars again that afternoon.

  ***

  The sun was dipping low in the red afternoon sky as we lay in lawn chairs beside the pool, soaking up the last rays of sun. The pool was emptying of people and would be closing soon, but we were reluctant to leave; the water and the sun felt so good on my skin after a month of staying indoors.

  “So what’s up with college?” Gabi asked suddenly. She shifted in her chair and turned to look at me. Her bare stomach glistened with tanning oil. “My mother said that your mother told her that you were accepted to CSU.”

  “I’m not going,” I said shortly. “It wouldn’t feel right. Not without Tina.” I swallowed. We’d gone the whole day without mentioning Tina, although of course she was in the back of our minds, unspoken between the two of us.

  “Hey. Little advice?” She adjusted her swimsuit, and I tore my eyes away.

  “Sure,” I said without any enthusiasm.

  “Get your education. You’ll regret it otherwise.”

  There was something in her expression and in the tone of her voice that suggested that she was speaking from experience. I remembered that she had been away at college when Tina had killed herself. Now she was home. Why? “Are you…I mean, did you—“

  “Drop out of school because I had more pressing things on my mind than finals and test grades?” she asked sharply. “Yeah, I did. I was more concerned about attending my baby sister’s funeral, you see.” She took a deep, shuddery breath. “Not that I would change that for anything. I couldn’t have stayed at school while they buried my sister. After I got that phone call from my mother…she was hysterical. It took her ten minutes to tell me what had happened. And then my world ended.”

  I nodded. I knew. Mine had ended, too.

  “But then it began again,” she continued. “It’s rough going, but it’s a life. I can’t go back to school; that part of my life is over now, and I can’t go back. But it’s not too late for you.” Seeing my hesitant expression, she added softly, “Tina would have wanted you to. Do it for her, if not yourself.”

  It was the same thing, more or less, that my mother had told me weeks ago, and I braced myself for the same wave of anger that had hit me then. But it didn’t come.

  “Maybe,” I said slowly as I watched the sunlight glitter on the surface of the crystal-clear water. “I don’t know, though. I’ll think about it.”

  “It won’t be an insult to her memory to make the right choices for your own future,” Gabi said quietly. She reached over and took my hand, which was dangling over the side of my chair. Blazing heat shot through me. I tried to come up with some sort of argument against Gabi’s logic, but I couldn’t think. Not with her skin on mine.

  “You need to live again,” she whispered. She leaned closer to me, her golden hair falling in waves against her tanned shoulders. Her eyes were intense and blazing, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her soft pink lips, so lush and inviting.

  “I don’t know how,” I said in a low voice.

  “There are many ways to feel alive,” she replied in a soft, silky voice, and she leaned forward. My heart pounded—she was so close to me, and I was both scared and excited.

  “Like what?” I hardly dared to breathe. Her lips were only inches from mine, and in full view of everyone! But I didn’t care who might or might not be watching. All I could focus on was Gabi, this beautiful sexy angel.

  In answer, she kissed me.

  It was like fireworks, hot and explosive as fiery desire awoke in my chest. Gabi’s lips were incredibly soft and tasted so sweet as they moved slowly against mine.

  Losing my initial tentativeness, I took charge, softly biting her lower lip, and I was rewarded by a soft gasp of pleasure from Gabi. It fueled my lust, and God, all I wanted was Gabi naked and writhing underneath me.

  Her lips parted, and my tongue darted in between them. Her eyes flew open with surprise, and for a moment I was afraid I went too far. But she kissed me back, deeper and with greater urgency.

  But then she pulled away. “Not here,” she said. She didn’t look at me as she self-consciously adjusted her bikini top, and a shiver ran through me as I caught a very brief glimpse of what was underneath.

  “Let’s go back to my place,” I said eagerly. My heart pounded at the thought of getting her alone.

  Her cheeks were flushed, whether from pleasure or embarrassment I couldn’t tell. Probably both. Either way, she looked sexy as fuck. “Actually, I have to get back home,” she said apologetically.

  My crushing disappointment must have shown on my face, because when she took my hand she added, “I’m not saying no, just…not right now. I want it to be right.”

  I nodded, but in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help wondering how long I’d be willing to wait to get Gabi Hudson in my bed.

  Chapter Four

  “Oh, Gabi,” I moaned huskily. “Quit fucking around and touch me!”

  “No,” she teased, her eyes alight with mischief. “Not until I’m good and ready.” I bit my lip to keep in a
moan, but a shaky breath escaped nonetheless. She smirked, seeming to enjoy my frustration.

  In this dream, I lay completely naked on a tabletop as Gabi’s soft, sleek hands rubbed lightly fragranced massage oil all over my body, which quaked with desire. Her touch tantalized me, and I yearned for more. My skin was hot and flushed, and more than anything I wanted Gabi to touch me, stroke me, make me come…

  Her slick fingers drifted across my flat stomach, tracing my skin lightly from one hip to the next before darting back up. I panted when she traced slow circles around one of my hard nipples, flicking and teasing it. She pinched it lightly, and lightning bolts jolted through me. She rolled it around, and I leaned my head back, surrendering myself completely to my pleasure and to Gabi’s capable, nimble fingers.

  Her hand drifted over to the other one and repeated the process, until both of my nipples were blazing hot and engorged, so sensitive to her feathery touch.

  She poured more oil onto her palm and slowly massaged my lower belly. I arched my back, thrusting myself against her hand. The oil was hot, almost blazingly hot, and I relished the way her skin glided so effortlessly against mine.

  My skin was glistening with the oil, and her fingers slid in it, sending shiver after shiver through me. It was, without a doubt, the most achingly erotic thing I’d ever experienced in my life. Who gave a shit if it wasn’t real? To me, it was, and my aching, burning desire was the realist thing in the world.

  Her fingers dipped down again, and this time when I begged her breathlessly, she seemed to decide to listen. Her fingertips slid in the hot juices accumulating on my thighs. I bucked my hips, wild with lust, and she giggled.

  “What do you want, Connie?” she asked sweetly.

  In answer, I grabbed her hand and forced it up. Her fingers dipped in between my glistening, swollen lips, soliciting a squeal of pleasure from me. She slipped one finger inside, stroking the very sensitive spot inside, sending waves of molten lava coursing through me.