The Hardest Fall

by Ella Maise

  “You can have the Coke, too. I don’t do soft drinks.”

  She took a bite and scrunched up her nose. “I don’t do soft drinks, either. That’s the only healthy choice I make in my life, I think. I don’t care for the taste anyway.”

  A few minutes into the movie, my food was polished off and Zoe had only stolen a few of my fries. Each time she did, she gave me a shy smile and quickly focused back on the movie playing in front of us.

  Fifteen minutes in, I was already fading. When I chanced a look at Zoe, I realized we’d ended up with an empty seat between us. Might as well have been an entire football field. She was curled up into herself, both her feet planted on the couch, chin resting on her knees, arms hugging her legs.

  My lips twitched. “Which movie were you watching before?”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her considering whether or not to give me an answer, her teeth nibbling on her bottom lip.

  “Come on, tell me.”

  In the end, she decided against it. “I rather not say.”

  This time, I laughed and she joined me. It felt good, just…being with her.

  Before the movie was over, we were both fast asleep on opposite sides of the couch. When I woke up early in the morning, she was sprawled half on top of me and I had my arms wrapped around her, holding her as close as possible. We had both moved in our sleep and met in the middle, apparently.

  Never in my life had I held someone through the entire night. Snuggling, yes, but even that only lasted for a short while. I closed my eyes and dropped my head on hers, inhaling her scent and just feeling her chest rise and drop against me. Trying my best not to jolt her, I grabbed the light blanket from the back of the couch and pulled it over us. Zoe shifted, and I froze. Then she snuggled even closer and rubbed her face against my neck, her parted lips grazing my skin.

  Awareness flooded my body. All of a sudden, I was wide awake, and so were all my body parts.

  I sat on that couch for another thirty minutes, just holding on to her, memorizing how she felt in my arms. When I had to get up and leave, I gently slid out from under her and tucked the blanket more securely around her, hoping it’d keep her warm, though not as warm as I could.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Zoe

  We had just finished our photography class in the lab and I was packing away my lenses when our professor, Jin Ae, caught my attention and said, “Zoe and Miriam, I need you two to stay behind, please.”

  When I was done packing up my bag, she was still answering questions from other students.

  Miriam met my eye. “You know what this is about?”

  I shook my head. “No idea.”

  “Maybe the assignment?”

  I gathered all my equipment up and carried it over to Miriam’s station. “Probably.”

  After everyone left the room, Jin Ae came over to us.

  “Okay girls, are you two available to travel for a weekend?”

  Miriam and I glanced at each other with a frown. “Ummm, I should be,” Miriam replied, still unsure.

  Jin Ae looked at me. “And you, Zoe?”

  “I’m sorry, I have a job scheduled this weekend, and I don’t think I can cancel it.” Not if I didn’t want to lose the job and the money that would come with it.

  “It’s not for this weekend. Are you available next weekend?”

  I thought about it for a second. “Yeah, I think I can do that. Is it a job you want us to do?”

  “No, not a job, exactly. The school paper needs two students to follow the football team around at their away game next weekend. Their usual guys can’t make it, so Mr. Taylor asked me if I could recommend anyone.”

  Football team? Following them? I didn’t think that was a good idea at all, and I’d have bet Mark wouldn’t think so either.

  “That’s a great opportunity, thank you so much for asking me!” exclaimed Miriam.

  I couldn’t exactly share her joy, though she was right—it was a great opportunity. “Uh…what are we supposed to do exactly?” I asked. “To be honest, I’m not sure I’d be any good at sports photography. I’ve never tried it—too much movement, not to mention I know practically nothing about football.”

  Even if I wanted to go, I didn’t think Mark would appreciate me being around him or around any of his players, Chris in particular.

  “This will be great for both of you,” Jin Ae continued. “If you have no other objections than not knowing about sports, Zoe, I’d like you to take a chance and accept the assignment. The school paper is planning on writing an article, and I didn’t get all the details, but I know they need photos of the players and the coaching staff, and not just when they’re on the field. You’ll need to be around them for the remainder of the time, too—at the hotel, on the plane, at practice, and I think even at the meetings.”

  Maybe it would be okay if I asked Mark first, but I’d been avoiding all his calls and texts since our last conversation in his office, so asking him anything wasn’t something I was interested in doing.

  Miriam was the first to speak up after she clapped her hands twice and did a small jump in place. “Okay. I like the challenge. I won’t disappoint you.”

  Geez. You’d think we’d been invited to photograph the royal wedding with the smile she was beaming—not that photographing however many football players would be bad, especially if I could take a few (or a hundred) shots of Dylan while he was working out and get away with it by saying, Oh, I’m having a terrible time looking at your half-naked body, but…it’s for the paper, so what can I do? I’ll just have to suffer through it.

  Jin Ae nodded at Miriam then turned her expectant eyes to me.

  “Sure. I’ll be there, too. Thank you.”

  “Good.” Turning on her heels, she walked back to her desk to grab her phone. “I told Mr. Taylor I’d let him know after class, and I’ll text him your information so he can get in touch to coordinate everything. He’ll want to talk to you sometime this week, so make sure to be available so he can let you know exactly what he wants you to do while you’re with the team.”

  “Is it just the two of us or will someone else be going as well?” I asked.

  “I think another student will be joining to conduct the interview part of the piece. You’ll have to discuss the details with Mr. Taylor when you talk to him.”

  “Okay, one question: do we know where they’re going? For the game I mean.”

  Jin Ae put her phone away and sat down in front of her laptop. “I think he mentions the location in the email, let me check.”

  “Good question,” Miriam whispered as we waited in the doorway.

  “Arizona. It says the game will be in Tucson, Arizona.”

  “You lucky bitch. If I knew this kind of thing would happen, I’d take up photography too. Can you find out if they need someone to sketch the players? Oil them up? I can do that too—both, if needed.”

  “I’m pretty sure there are no oils involved, but for you…I’ll ask. I wouldn’t get my hopes up though.”

  “Bitch,” Jared muttered.

  As soon as I’d gotten out of class, I’d called my dad to let him know I’d be seeing him in eight or nine days. When that conversation was over, my next call had been to Kayla because the three of us were supposed to meet for lunch. The moment she answered, I knew she wouldn’t make it, which wasn’t surprising anymore. So, that left me and Jared.

  I stabbed my fork into my salad and gave him a long look. “I don’t think it’ll be as glamorous as you think it will. I’m gonna have to do my best to stay out of Mark’s way.”

  “So? Just don’t tell him you’re coming along. Crisis averted.”

  “Yeah? And how exactly do you suggest I get on the plane without him noticing? Or let’s say I managed that—how am I supposed to make sure he doesn’t see me at the hotel or on the field as I’m trying to photograph his players?”

  He took a bite of his sandwich and nodded. “You make a good point.”

  “Yeah
. Still, it wasn’t my idea, so it should be okay, and anyway, I promised not to tell Chris anything. If we need to take any one-on-one shots, I’ll make sure Miriam covers Chris, that way Mark can’t complain any more than he probably already will.”

  “If he says anything, please don’t just sit there and take it.”

  I dropped my fork and rubbed my forehead. “If he was anybody else, yeah, I would have stopped taking shit from him a long time ago, but he is my…”

  “Your dad—yeah, I know.”

  “I wouldn’t call him that exactly.”

  “I don’t know what your mom was thinking when she called to let him know he had a daughter. Didn’t she already know what kind of guy he was?”

  Yup. I was the surprise Mark never wanted. “She loved him, which is really weird, and bad. Her last few weeks were really bad. I think she just wanted Mark to come visit her, and I was the excuse. She was my mom, and I loved her, but at the same time, I’m so pissed at her, too.” I shook my head, still having trouble believing everything she’d told me. “I can’t believe she gave up her son like that.”

  Jared took a swig from his water bottle, his eyes calculating. “I bet it was all Mark talking her into it. We know for sure he is the father, right? Your father, I mean.”

  “Yeah, unfortunately. He wanted a DNA test after he got the call from my mom.”

  “Well, still…that doesn’t mean he gets to jerk you around.”

  Picking my fork back up, I ate a few more bites before answering him. “I know it doesn’t, and he won’t get to anymore. I thought we could have some kind of a relationship, but I’m over it now. It was just about Chris when I first came here. I never thought it’d take him three years or that things would end up this way. Every time I got a wild hair and decided I should just stop Chris on the way to one of his classes, I got scared and Mark got all…I want to get to know you, Zoe. I want us to get closer.” I huffed and snorted. “I’m so stupid. Time is up now. Chris is graduating this year. I’m going to wait until the season ends, not because Mark told me to, but because I think that’s best for Chris…and maybe the combine, but I don’t think I can wait that long. The Mark thing is done though. I’m not answering his calls—we have nothing to talk about.”

  “Screw him. He’s a bastard anyway. Who sleeps with his wife’s friend, gets her pregnant, and then convinces the wife it’s a good thing because they can finally have a kid? You’re better off.”

  “Yeah.”

  My appetite gone, I sipped my orange juice then cleared my throat.

  “Let’s forget about Mark. What are we going to do about Kayla?”

  This time it was Jared’s turn to sigh heavily and stop eating. “I called her last night, just a random call to say I missed her, and her shit of a boyfriend answered, told me she was busy and I shouldn’t bother her that late. It was only nine o’clock, for goodness’ sake. I bet she was right there and the fucker didn’t even let her pick up her own phone.”

  “Do you think she’ll break up with him soon? It’s been longer than usual this time.”

  “I damn sure hope so, but…”

  “But, she’d probably take him back when he came crawling again…yeah.”

  “Should we talk to her then? Intervention time?” Jared asked.

  “We already did that last year and look what happened—they got back together after a month and now the douche knows we don’t want Kayla to be with him, which is why he is making sure she sees us as little as possible.” I shook my head and pushed my half-eaten salad away. “She thinks we don’t get it, but we do. She’s loved him since she was sixteen. She thinks she can change him, and whenever I try to hint at stuff, she gets sad and tells me I don’t get it. Of course it doesn’t help that the douche manages to be sweet to her every once in a while.”

  “So, there is nothing we can do—is that what you’re getting at?”

  “I thought maybe you would have a brilliant idea.”

  Balancing his chair on two legs, Jared swayed back and forth for a few seconds. “Do you want me to seduce him or something? Because if that’s what you’re getting at…”

  “Wh-What?” I sputtered. Uncertain whether he was serious or not, I gave him a horrified look. “You’d do that?”

  He laughed at the expression on my face. “Please, I have standards. I don’t seduce douchebags, but more importantly, I don’t go after a friend’s man. If I did, I’d go after Dylan before anyone else.”

  “Dylan is my friend, not my man.”

  “Sure, let’s go with that. He’s your buddy, right? And it was only my ghost who was at the bar last weekend, watching every move you two made. I thought he was gonna jump over that bar and pummel me when he saw me touch your face and tuck your hair behind your ear. He looks sexier when he’s brooding—I’d suggest pissing him off more often.”

  “You did that on purpose?”

  “No, but if I’d known he’d react that way, I probably would have. I bet he was losing his shit when we were dancing. Too bad we had no idea he was there.”

  “Oh, shut up.”

  “You shut up. And what about you? Miss he’s my buddy that’s all. After you went over, every time he touched your hand or your arm, you lit up like a Christmas tree.”

  Standing up, I shoved his shoulder, causing him to lose his balance and land back on four legs with a loud thud.

  “Hey!”

  “You don’t want me angry, Jared. I’ll make it hurt.”

  “Oh, bring it on. I’d like to see you try. It’d probably feel more like a tickle but give it a go. I give you permission.”

  Growling, I went after him before he could run away.

  When I made it back home, it was almost nine o’clock. I’d just made a hundred dollars by taking fifteen Instagram photos for a student who had over three hundred thousand followers. She had heard about me and my services from one of her blogger friends who I had taken photos of before midterms. Any money that added to my savings account was good, so I tried my best to never turn anyone down, but after the fifth outfit change, I thought maybe I should’ve charged more. Considering it took us over two hours to get all the shots she wanted, I thought raising my rate was a great idea.

  Even though I was pretty much ready to crawl back to the apartment after being out for over thirteen hours, I still made sure I was as quiet as a mouse when I tiptoed pass Ms. Hilda’s door.

  When I got into the apartment and turned on the lights, it took everything in me not to shriek like a banshee when I saw a big figure sitting on the floor in the living room, right under the windows.

  “Dylan? You scared the crap out of me. Why are you sitting in the dark?” I dropped my equipment bag right next to the door and walked toward him, hesitating when I got to the couch and he still hadn’t spoken.

  He had his elbows propped on his knees, hands dangling between his thighs, and he wasn’t looking at me, didn’t even meet my eyes.

  “Dylan? What’s wrong?” I took an involuntary step forward but stopped myself from going farther.

  Slowly, his head tilted up and his eyes met mine. Usually, I couldn’t hold his gaze for more than a few seconds when he looked straight into my eyes like he was trying to see deep into me, but the way he was looking at me right then…I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

  He, on the other hand, had no trouble breaking eye contact. “Nothing, Zoe,” he said quietly then rested his head on the wall behind him. A few seconds later he let out a long sigh and closed his eyes.

  “Obviously that’s not the case,” I stated softly, thinking something terrible must’ve happened. He didn’t even open his eyes, let alone give me an answer.

  Where was the guy who smiled at me left and right and made me feel lightheaded without even knowing what he was doing?

  Starting to worry, I went and sat to his left, not within touching distance, but not too far away either. We spent a few minutes sitting side by side in absolute stillness. The only sound
that could be heard over the heavy silence was coming from a neighbor’s TV, most likely in the apartment below us.

  “You can tell me what’s going on, Dylan. I’m not a bad listener, and I’m supposed to be—”

  His eyes didn’t open, but he did finally speak. “If you tell me you’re my buddy, Zoe, so help me…”

  My knees were up just like his, but I decided to sit cross-legged instead, which brought me closer to his side. “I won’t say anything, okay? Just tell me what’s going on.”

  He rolled his head toward me and finally let me look into his eyes.

  Slowly, I released the breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding. He looked devastated. “What happened?” I whispered, angling my body toward him so I could put my hand on his arm. His gaze followed the movement, and I felt his muscles tighten under my touch. Thinking maybe it wasn’t a good idea, that he didn’t want me to touch him when he looked ready to bring down the building, I attempted to pull my hand back. But, the second I lifted it, he reached out and took his time lacing our fingers together.

  “Is this okay?” he asked, his eyes glued to our intertwined hands. “Am I allowed to do this?”

  I swallowed, hard. What was I supposed to say when he looked so devastated? No, actually, it’s not okay, Dylan, because my brain seems to short-circuit every time you get this close to me. I didn’t think so.

  “Is this what buddies do, Zoe?” he continued, his voice harder.

  Is he angry at me?

  What the hell did I do?

  My brows drew together, but I didn’t try to pull my hand away—like I said, short-circuit in the brain, and holding his hand had helped before, the night I’d fallen asleep on his shoulder. Maybe he was a hand holder; maybe that was his thing.

  He studied my face then made some sort of huffing sound and let our hands drop to the hardwood floor. I tried not to wince.

  “Dyl—”

  “Don’t answer that.”

  When his head hit the wall behind him yet again, I couldn’t hold back my wince.

  “It’s JP,” he said to the ceiling.