The Hardest Fall

by Ella Maise

  “I just needed you to know I’m sorry, and…I miss you, Dylan. It’s college and I made a mistake and—”

  “Now I know,” I interrupted and closed the door in her face.

  Bending down, I took my phone from my bag and dialed Zoe’s number.

  It rang and rang, but there was no answer. She had it on her, I was sure. Sending her a quick text, I didn’t wait for her to get back to me. There was a good chance she had misinterpreted Victoria’s presence and was ignoring any calls and texts coming from me.

  I kicked my bag and it slid toward the living room.

  “Goddammit!”

  Rubbing my palm on my head, I called Jimmy.

  He answered on the second ring. “Jimmy here. Talk to me.”

  “Jimmy, I know my shift starts in two hours, but I’m not gonna be able to make it tonight. It’s…football stuff.”

  “You realize it’s Saturday, right? I need you here, man.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry, but it came up pretty last minute. I can’t skip this. I promise I’ll make it up to you. I wasn’t scheduled for tomorrow, but I’ll come to help. I’ll come in midweek too.”

  He released a long sigh that blended in with the music in the background. “Fine, fine—but you can’t skip out on me tomorrow.”

  “I won’t. I’ll be there. Thank you, Jimmy.”

  My next call was to Chris.

  “What’s up?”

  “Do you have a phone number for the fullback who played our first and second year? You know, the one who got transferred?

  “You mean Tony?”

  “Yes, that’s the one. Do you have it?”

  “Let me check. What’s going on?”

  “I need to ask him something.”

  “Oh, thanks, that explains a lot. Hold on…okay, I have it.”

  “Good. Text it to me.”

  “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

  “Later. Text me.”

  I headed out before he could text me the number. If I had taken Zoe’s friend’s number two years ago myself, it would’ve been easier to find out where she’d gone, but I hadn’t. Even if it was a long shot, Tony might have held on to the number of the girl he had dated for almost a year before he transferred, and I was pretty sure that girl would have Kayla’s number. It was my only shot. Sure, I could’ve waited for her to come back to the apartment, but that could take hours, and she’d spend those hours thinking something I didn’t want her to think. It wasn’t a choice I even considered more than a second.

  My phone pinged with a new text at the same time I stepped out of the apartment building.

  It was my lucky day. After talking to Tony, I got the phone number of the girl, whose name was apparently Erica. Then I called Erica and asked for Kayla’s number.

  The voice on the other end of the line answered timidly. “Hello?”

  “Kayla?” I asked, not sure if it was the right number or not.

  “Umm, yes? Who is this?”

  “It’s Dylan, Zoe’s…” What the hell was I for her? “Zoe’s friend—her roommate. I’m sorry for bothering you, but I’m trying to find Zoe and she isn’t answering my calls. Do you have any idea where she is?”

  “Give me a sec,” she whispered.

  There was some rustling, a door opening and closing, and then she was on the line again, her voice stronger than it had been before.

  “She texted me a few minutes ago. Why do you want to know where she is? Is something going on?”

  “No. I just need to see her.”

  I waited through the silence.

  “Okay. I don’t know what’s going on, but I hope you won’t make me regret this.”

  “Please,” I forced out.

  “I’m heading to a party at my boyfriend’s frat house. She texted me to ask if we could meet so I told her I’d meet her there in an hour so. I don’t know where she’ll go if she’s not home.”

  “Where is the party?”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Dylan

  When I stepped through the frat house’s open door around ten PM, there were already red Solo cups littering the ground and the air reeked of sweat, beer, and the worst mix of perfumes—the staples of college parties. Just a few steps in and I could already see the closely pressed bodies on the dance floor. I pushed past the few people who were standing around the door, casually chatting by screaming at each other over the music, and started to look around. Skipping the dance floor, I searched every inch of the house, including the upstairs rooms. Zoe was nowhere to be found, and neither was her friend, Kayla.

  Hoping maybe they just hadn’t made it there yet, I did another sweep of the first floor then headed for the basement. Thankfully the music wasn’t loud enough to make my ears bleed, but I knew I’d have a headache the next morning.

  Frat parties are never a good idea if you’re sober and tired through the whole thing.

  Spotting a few teammates on my way down, I had to stop to exchange a few pleasantries. When I spotted Zoe sitting on an ugly green couch in the corner near an ongoing beer pong match, I was able to breathe easier and think again. She was sitting next to Kayla, who had her back to me, and they were talking in what seemed like hushed tones—as hushed as they could get in that ruckus with everyone cheering on the beer pong champions.

  It was when I was halfway to them that Zoe finally noticed me and our eyes met across the room. Someone touched my shoulder and tried to stop me from getting to her. I turned to the guy with a scowl on my face and he backed off.

  “Sorry, dude. Just wanted to say congrats on a fucking awesome game yesterday.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled and gave him a chin lift, already walking away.

  Pushing away the few people standing in my way, I finally reached Zoe.

  Without stopping or breaking one of our rare periods of extended eye contact, I leaned down and grabbed her hand in mine, tugging her up with ease.

  “Zoe!” Kayla yelped, grabbing her left arm.

  “I need to talk to her,” I explained before we started playing a round of tug-of-war and Zoe could cut in. I didn’t want to give her a way of escape.

  After Zoe gave her friend a cautious nod, Kayla reluctantly let her go. I took the half-empty red cup from her free hand and put it in the middle of the beer pong table. Ignoring the groaned protests, I took her toward the staircase, which had a small pocket of privacy directly behind it.

  I stepped on something sticky that made me pause, but when I saw that it wasn’t puke, I ignored it kept walking. Pulling Zoe next to the wall, where the music was slightly muted, I studied her face. With her big, vulnerable eyes, she looked so unsure. Carefully, she pulled her hand out of mine.

  “You left,” I started, and I could hear how gruff my voice sounded.

  She looked taken back but still answered. “Yes, because you told me to leave.”

  “No. I told her to leave.”

  “You were looking right into my eyes when you spoke. It’s okay, Dylan. You’re allowed to have friends over. I shouldn’t have… I hope I didn’t interrupt—”

  I towered over her and she leaned back. “Are you being serious right now?”

  Even bigger eyes. “What?”

  “You hope you didn’t interrupt?”

  Her brows drew together in confusion. “Yes?”

  “Are you playing with me, Zoe? Because I can’t believe you can be this clueless. You can’t be.”

  “I’m not doing anything. You’re angry with me for some reason, and I think I’m just gonna go back to Kay—”

  As she turned away from me, I caught her wrist from behind and pulled her back to my chest. After the initial grunt, she stilled. Thanks to those boots I loved so much, her head reached almost up to my chin.

  Tilting my head, I took a deep breath of her sweet scent and tried to calm the hell down. Her shoulders tensed.

  “You can’t be this clueless,” I repeated in a whisper against her ear, catching the slight tremble i
n her body. Her head twisted, just a small movement. I glanced down to see her hand gripping the edge of her cardigan, so I reached for her fingers and laced them with my own, ignoring how tensely she was holding herself.

  “Dylan, I—”

  “I just want you to listen to me, just once. That’s it, Zoe. That’s all.” Grasping her other hand, I did the same and wrapped our arms around her stomach. Her left hand squeezed mine in a tight grip, but she didn’t yank herself away.

  I closed the last few inches separating us by pulling her flush against my chest.

  “Dylan, there are peo—”

  “It’s dark, and no one can see us back here,” I muttered in a bitter voice. Her warning helped me remember exactly why I couldn’t and shouldn’t hold her like this, not even in a dark corner at a party where no one cared about anything but their booze and who they’d get to take to bed or whatever empty surface they could find. “Don’t ask me to let go, please. I can’t.”

  She quieted so I gave her middle a squeeze as a thank you and let out a long breath. Resting my forehead on her shoulder, I inhaled deeply. Slowly, as if she was afraid she’d startle me, she rested her temple against the side of my head, and something inside me unraveled, my blood boiling hot.

  I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay away anymore.

  My fingers tightened around hers to the point that I knew I must’ve been hurting her, yet we still stood like that for several seconds.

  Lifting my head, making sure our temples stayed in contact, I started to explain what she had walked in on before she ran away.

  “I came home just a few minutes before you and she was waiting at the door. I told her to leave, but she kept insisting she wanted to talk to me.”

  Zoe’s body stiffened against mine. Having no clue what I was allowed to do, how much I could cross the invisible line that existed between us, I leaned harder against the wall to restrain myself from doing something stupid and limited myself to stroking just over that small dip where her thumb and first finger met.

  “Before I could make her leave, I heard Ms. Hilda unlock her door so I had to let her come in. When you got there, she’d only been there for a few minutes.”

  “Who is she?” she whispered, her head tilted to the side, eyes half closed, her breathing uneven.

  I huffed and nuzzled her temple.

  “Victoria, my ex. I had nothing to say to her, I swear, and when you came in, she asked if I wanted her to leave at the same time you did. I didn’t even think, just said yes. I didn’t think you’d misunderstand. I didn’t think you’d leave.”

  There was no reaction for long seconds, but she wasn’t walking away either.

  “I was going to take you out for pizza before my shift at Jimmy’s,” I muttered into her ear when the shouts coming from the room rose up and blended with the music.

  Her head tilted farther, offering me more as the back of her head dropped to my shoulder.

  Fuck.

  She muttered something, but I couldn’t hear it, so I leaned down until her mouth was right next to my ear.

  “I love pizza,” she repeated, and I had to close my eyes because her lips had brushed against my skin, nearly rendering me incapacitated.

  “I know you do—you only say it every day.” I smiled in relief and pressed a lingering kiss on her cheek that surprised the both of us.

  Slowly she lifted her head from my shoulder. Reluctantly, I let her hands go and our arms dropped down. I had no idea what the hell I was doing, and I was afraid I was too far gone to stop myself when it came to anything involving Zoe.

  Clearing my throat, I continued, and this time I tried to talk louder so I wouldn’t have to speak directly into her ear. The closer we stood, the more dangerous it was. “I ran after you, but you were already gone, and I didn’t want to leave Victoria in the apartment. I sent her away less than a minute later then came after you.”

  Turning around to face me, she looked up, straight into my eyes. “How did you know I was going to be here?”

  “I called Chris and got the phone number of the guy who dated Kayla’s friend back when I met her. Then a couple more calls and I got Kayla’s number. She didn’t tell you?” She bit her bottom lip and shook her head. Unable to stop myself, I reached up and cupped her cheek, saving her lip by pulling at it with my thumb. “I didn’t know where you were, so I had to wait an hour before coming here.”

  “I went for pizza,” she said with a hesitant smile on her lips.

  Letting go of her cheek, I dropped my head back on the wall and laughed, relaxing a bit.

  “Of course you did,” I said when I could look at her again.

  She lifted her shoulder and gave me a half shrug. “Food makes me happy, pizza especially.”

  When neither of us uttered a word, just keeping our eyes on each other, my smile slowly disappeared and I straightened from the wall.

  At the same time, the music stopped and there were only shouts and boos.

  “Zoe…”

  She was quick to look away and gave me her back.

  “I don’t think Kayla is okay. Something’s wrong, and I should get back to—”

  I grabbed her hand from behind since it had kept her from leaving the last time.

  I couldn’t let her go, not just yet. That little pocket of space was ours, providing shelter for us, for what I’d been craving for weeks, and I wasn’t ready or willing to let it go so quickly or easily. “Ten minutes,” I said. “Just ten more minutes to feel like this.”

  When I gave her hand a gentle tug, she didn’t argue or pull away. In two steps she was back in my arms and I was hugging her to my chest even harder. She didn’t seem to mind and I didn’t plan on letting go, not for at least another ten minutes.

  The way my heart was hammering in my chest, I didn’t think I’d ever been so anxious in my life. It was the same kind of thrill as being on the field.

  “Dylan,” Zoe mumbled when the back of my hand brushed the underside of her boob and her head rested against my shoulder again.

  I hugged her tighter.

  “Choose me, Zoe.” The words rushed out of me before I could stop myself.

  Her grip reflexively tightened around my hands at my words as her eyelids closed slowly.

  “Leave him,” I continued. “I’m right here and I want you, so damn much. I’m not sure how much more I can take. Every time I see you with a guy…I just want to rip his head off for touching you, for looking at you, for being close to you when I can’t. The guy from the Tucson game? I’ve never played that aggressively before. All I wanted to do was take him down. You’re driving me crazy, and I’ve never been so jealous of anyone in my life.” I paused. “I need you to let him go, Zoe. Whatever it is that’s going on between you two, I don’t want to know. Just…I need you to choose me now. I’m the one that’s supposed to be with you, not anyone else.”

  Her back still flushed to my chest, she shifted in my arms enough to look up at me. “Dylan,” she whispered, and I watched her lips move, her tongue sneaking out to wet them. “You don’t understa—”

  I pulled her hair away from her neck, pressed my lips against her skin, and felt the vibration of her groan against my lips.

  My body overheated from being so close to her, from having trouble deciding what I wanted to do to her first when we were alone—truly alone, not in a frat house surrounded by drunken idiots. Just thinking of the possibilities made my dick press harder against the fly of my pants.

  Seven minutes more. This was mine. Ours.

  As N.E.R.D.’s song “She Wants To Move” started in the background, not even realizing what I was doing, I opened my mouth, grazed her skin with my teeth, and gently sucked on her neck, not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to make her lose a little bit of control and let me hear her moan again.

  Instead of going in for more like I was desperate to do, I stood still and tried to clear my mind.

  What the fuck are you doing, man?

  I let
go of her and her body stiffened.

  “I should apologize for that…it was more than just a friendly kiss…but I can’t.”

  “I don’t have a boyfriend,” she blurted out, head turned toward me, eyes focused on my chin, arms hugging herself as if she was about to fall apart and was barely holding herself together.

  “What did you just say?”

  “I don’t have a boyfriend,” she repeated slowly, this time meeting my gaze.

  “It’s over? It’s done?” I asked in disbelief as something indescribable coursed through my veins.

  “I…” She looked away and nodded. “Yes.”

  Reaching for her hand, I turned her to face me, everything around us turning into a messy blur. I cupped her cheeks and rested my forehead against hers, not breathing. “When?” She opened her mouth to answer, but I cut her off. “Never mind. I don’t care.”

  Nudging her nose with mine, I kissed the edge of her mouth as she let out a harsh breath.

  “We need to talk, Dylan. I need to tell you what was going on. I don’t want you to think—”

  “We’ll figure out what to do,” I murmured and kissed her cheek.

  “What do you—”

  “Are you drunk?”

  “What? No. You need to listen to—”

  “Then kiss me, Zoe.”

  She pulled back, studying my face as her eyes slowly narrowed. “And lose the bet?” Her eyes dropped to my lips then back up. “You kiss me first,” she said, all breathless as her cheeks turned a pretty pink.

  She was going to lose the bet.

  I slipped my arms around her waist, caging her in, and smiled down at her. I felt light, relieved, exhilarated. “Are you scared?”

  “What? Scared of you?” She snorted and then blushed.

  My smile grew bigger and I hid my face against her neck. “You’re so damn cute, and you’re trembling,” I whispered in her ear. “Are you scared of kissing me?” A pause so I could press another lingering kiss on her neck. “Or are you scared I’ll kiss you?” Lifting my head, I met her big eyes. “I don’t give a fuck about the bet, I just need—”