Dying To Tell

by Beevis, Keri

  ‘Don’t go.’ He caught hold of her arm. ‘I’m sorry for last night. I’m sorry for overreacting just now. I didn’t know how hard this was going to be… losing someone, finding out things you didn’t know about them. I’m trying to work my way through this and sometimes it gets too much and I do the wrong thing. I was mean to you. After everything you’ve done, how you’ve been there, I pushed you away and I was mean to you. I’m so, so sorry.’

  ‘Jack… I–’

  ‘I need you, Lila. Please.’

  He looked so crushed, his words desperate and sincere, she couldn’t help but react, setting one crutch against the table and reaching out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

  One moment she was standing beside him, the next he had turned his head, had buried his face against her belly. As he gave a shaky jagged sigh, she stroked her hand over his hair, holding him close.

  She stood like that for a couple of minutes and at first it really was purely about comfort, but then something shifted and Lila gradually became oh so conscious of where Jack’s mouth was, could feel the warmth of his breath against her belly.

  Startled by her reaction, she attempted to ease away, was prevented from doing so when his arms unexpectedly locked around her, holding her firmly in place, and, before she could respond, his hands were caressing her back, the touch warm and teasing, dipping lower to the top of her buttocks, his thumbs boldly working their way over the edge of her knickers through the fabric of her dress. She caught her breath as heat spread inside her.

  Picking up on her reaction, his grip tightened and without warning his mouth dipped and he nipped gently at the tender flesh just below her naval. Lila let out an involuntary shudder as the remaining crutch clattered to the floor, caught hold of his other shoulder to steady herself as he started sucking, nibbling and tormenting her through the flimsy material of her dress, his mouth hot and wet. Digging her fingertips into his shoulders, she released a trembling sigh.

  Jack eased his head back, glanced up at her. Those eyes that had been so pained and so sincere now held a feral glint, his intentions clear, and with a sudden tug she found herself straddling his lap. He didn’t give her time to protest, his mouth covering hers and taking greedily.

  Every fibre in her body was on fire, the touch of him, the taste of him, the scent of him proving too difficult a combination to resist, so she didn’t, told herself not to overthink it, that it might be rebound sex, but she wanted him as much as he seemed to want her. She would beat herself up about it later.

  As she returned his kisses, her own hands running over the taut muscles of his back, up into his hair, he moaned in her mouth, the sound guttural, and his hands worked their way down under her bum, pulling her legs around him, lifting her and sitting her up on the table. He broke the kiss, the look he gave her purely carnal as he used his hips to spread her legs, his arms still linked around her, fingertips tracing patterns against her back.

  ‘I had a very dirty dream about you wearing this dress last night,’ he told her, his voice low and throaty.

  ‘You did?’ The words came out so breathily, Lila barely recognised them as hers. Her skin was on fire with every touch, the need for more aching deep inside her. ‘What happened?’

  The crooked smile he gave her was wickedly seductive as he gently pushed her back on the table, his hands skimming over her breasts and down the length of her body to her thighs, his touch light and tormenting. ‘Let me show you.’

  22

  Sex hadn’t been on his list of morning tasks. Walking the dog, apologising to Lila and brooding some more about Steph’s blackmailer had, but not sex. But then Lila had been there offering comfort and she had been warm and soft and smelt so good and, remembering the dream he had awoken from, his dick had reacted.

  Talk about screwing up an apology.

  The sex had been both memorable and satisfying, and Lila had been a more-than-willing participant, but of course she was going to think this was the rebound thing he had thrown in her face the previous night. He had just fucked her on his kitchen table – not exactly his finest moment – why would she possibly think otherwise?

  He hadn’t been lying to her that morning when he said that he needed her. He did need her, more than he had realised, had actually reached that conclusion only after he had very nearly messed everything up. He had told himself he had ended things with Tiffany because they had grown apart, that the relationship was already dying. It had been the truth, but what he had conveniently been ignoring was he had also ended things because she wasn’t Lila.

  Spontaneous sex was great and he planned, hoped, to have plenty more of it with Lila, but it was hardly the way to convince her she meant more to him than that. Given that it had been their first time and he hadn’t even told her how he really felt about her, he knew she deserved better than what had happened that morning and added it to the list he was keeping in his head of things he needed to make up to her.

  Luckily she had agreed to stick around and wasn’t insisting on going straight home. After dissecting the meeting with Ruby, something Jack felt able to do with a cooler head, he left Lila musing over his notepad scribbles while he took a call from his agent about his new book.

  When he returned to the kitchen twenty minutes later, she still had the pen in her hand, but her attention was focussed on the TV and her face drained of colour.

  Jack touched her shoulder. ‘Lila?’

  Startled, she looked at him blankly for a moment.

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘I’ve been watching the news while you were talking.’

  ‘Yes, I can see.’

  ‘You know the two missing girls in Lincolnshire?’

  He nodded, couldn’t recall their names but was certainly familiar with the story. It had been national news for weeks. ‘What about them?’

  ‘They were interviewing Shona McNamara’s grandmother.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘Jack, I think it’s her picture in the locket.’

  * * *

  Within an hour, they were in Jack’s car and heading back to Norwich.

  Although Jack had seemed dubious of Lila’s claim that it was Shona McNamara’s grandmother in the picture, he’d given Lila the benefit of the doubt, agreeing to at least let her check.

  It occurred to her that he was going out of his way to keep her happy since they’d had sex, but given that she’d been berating herself for giving into him so easily, wished she’d put up a little more resistance (though she couldn’t bring herself to regret it had happened), she doubted she had that amount of allure over him. Jesus, she hadn’t been with anyone in nearly five years, had been woefully out of practice.

  No, it was more likely he was still feeling guilty for how he had treated her after the meeting with Ruby.

  Lila tried not to analyse anything too much. Jack had made it clear that anything after Tiff would be a rebound fuck. Lila had known exactly where she stood when she’d had sex with him.

  Clyde was on welcoming duty as she unlocked the main door to the house, circling Lila’s legs then Jack’s, purring his head off. Lila bent to stroke his ears, spent a few seconds making a fuss of him, but as she opened the door to her flat, expecting him to follow them inside, he turned and ran upstairs to Primrose.

  Lila left Jack to put the kettle on while she went through to her bedroom, tried not to think about the hooded man who had stood there two nights earlier, as she retrieved the locket from the little trinket dish she kept on her dressing table. She glanced at the picture inside. Although black and white, the image of the woman was clear and she was certain it was the same woman she had seen on the TV screen a couple of hours earlier.

  She carried the locket through to the living room, almost colliding with Jack as he carried mugs of tea out of the kitchen, and they shared a brief awkward moment where neither of them seemed sure how to react. Lila stepped back, leaning on her crutches as she let him go ahead, and considered for the first time that
sleeping with him might ruin the easy friendship they had built. She followed him into the living room and made a point of sitting on the chair instead of the sofa next to him.

  ‘It’s her,’ she told him without preamble, handing the locket across. As Jack clicked it open to study the picture, she picked up her mug, took a sip of the tea that was still a little too hot.

  He frowned, pulled out his phone.

  ‘You don’t believe me.’

  ‘I never said I didn’t believe, but you saw the woman on a TV screen. I want to check.’

  Frustrated that he seemed to be doubting her, she waited impatiently while he googled for information, studying his intense expression, the way he shoved his hair back off his face, looking annoyed when it fell forward again, remembering how he had tasted, the touch of his hands and his mouth against her skin making every nerve end tingle, how it had felt to have him inside her. She wasn’t ready to let go of that.

  ‘Okay, I’ve found a photo.’ He held up the locket, comparing it to his screen, nodded slowly.

  ‘It’s her?’ Lila breathed. ‘I told you.’

  He didn’t confirm either way, instead closed the locket and slipped it into his pocket, laying his phone down on the coffee table.

  ‘We’ll drop it in at the police station.’ He met her eyes, his expression sober. ‘I want you to come back to Burnham with me, stay for a few days.’

  ‘Jack, I–’

  ‘I won’t leave you alone here after what happened. I’d stay here with you, but I have Cooper to consider.’

  ‘But all my stuff is here.’

  ‘You can bring whatever you need over to mine. It’s not like I don’t have the space.’

  ‘And Primrose, what if she needs me?’

  ‘She’s your landlady, Lila, not your mother. She’ll be fine. And I’m sure she wants you to be safe.’

  She would, Lila knew that, just as she knew how much she was dreading being back in her flat alone. Going into her bedroom to fetch the locket had made her anxious, so she knew she would be a nervous wreck by nightfall.

  Still she wavered, wondering in what capacity Jack wanted her as a houseguest. Was he purely looking out for her as a friend or did he want more? She wasn’t sure she could spend another restless night in the guest bedroom knowing he was across the landing, especially not after that morning.

  ‘If you refuse to come with me I’ll have to put Cooper in kennels and come stay here.’

  ‘You wouldn’t.’

  Jack nodded solemnly. ‘I will if you leave me no choice. He’s only ever been in kennels once and he hated it. I promised I would never do that to him again. You’d really make him go back?’

  The corner of his mouth twitched, confirming he was winding her up, but it knocked it home that her being in the flat alone was almost as big a deal to him as it was to her.

  ‘Okay, I’ll come back with you, but just for a few days.’

  He seemed satisfied with that. ‘Deal. Now go get your stuff together.’

  Lila carefully made her way upstairs to speak to Primrose before they left; although she was only the woman’s tenant, they had always had a close relationship and she knew Primrose relied on her sometimes to run the odd errand or help her out with things around the apartment. Lila felt guilty leaving her to fend for herself.

  When Primrose opened the door, Clyde purring in her arms, a smile lit up her face. ‘Lila, dear, how are you? I’ve been thinking about you after what happened on Saturday night. Such a terrible shock for you.’

  ‘I’m okay, thanks. Still a little shaken up, but I guess that’s to be expected.’

  Lila had exchanged a couple of texts with her landlady, but they hadn’t actually seen each other since the break-in.

  ‘I’m not surprised. I hope Jack’s been looking after you. I know he was so worried.’

  ‘He has been.’ Lila didn’t miss the familiarity with how Primrose spoke about Jack. Amazing how quickly he could charm his way in when he put his mind to it. ‘And thank you for nipping down to rescue Clyde last night. I shouldn’t have left him locked in my flat all day. I’m sorry I couldn’t get back to let him out myself.’

  ‘It’s no trouble, dear. I was wondering where the rascal was.’

  ‘Jack wants me to go and stay with him for a few days. I don’t like to leave you in the lurch though. If there’s anything you want me to do or need me to fetch for you while I’m gone, you have my number and I can always try to pop back during the day.’

  Primrose waved her away. ‘Lila, you worry too much. I’m a tough old bird and I’m more mobile than you at the moment. I can cope by myself for a few days. I managed before you moved in and when you were in hospital. Jack’s right. I don’t think you should be in your flat alone until the new alarm system is installed.’

  ‘Thank you… and about that… he told me he had spoken to you about it. Really, Primrose, you don’t have to do that because of what happened. Jack fixed the window. He was overreacting about the alarm and he shouldn’t have come and spoken to you.’

  Her landlady smiled. ‘Really, I’m glad he did. He was right about making the house more secure. It’s an old building and Saturday night proved we’re not as safe as we like to think we are. Plus he’s been so good sorting it all out for me. His friend is stopping by later this week to install the system.’

  ‘I can’t let you pay for all of this. It was my flat that was broken into, so at least let me contribute.’

  Lila wasn’t sure what she could afford, but she had to at least offer.

  Primrose frowned slightly, ran an affectionate hand down the snoozing Clyde’s back. ‘You don’t need to pay anything, dear. Didn’t Jack tell you he’s taking care of it all?’

  Lila’s mouth dropped open and she was quick to close it when Primrose’s eyes narrowed.

  ‘He didn’t tell you, did he.’

  Lila forced a smile. ‘I guess it must have slipped his mind.’

  She left her landlady and the cat, head filled with questions. Part of her was annoyed with Jack for footing the alarm bill behind her back. He knew she would have never agreed to it. She was reluctant to say anything though, the soft irrational part of her that seemed to have fallen for him, flattered that he had cared enough about her to want to keep her safe.

  The previous night he had told her that anything that happened between them would be a rebound thing, yet he had rushed to be by her side after the break-in, had gone out of his way to make the flat safer.

  She brooded as they got in the car, not at all sure where she stood with Jack Foley or what he wanted from her.

  They stopped at Norwich Police Station before heading back up to the coast and handed in the locket. The desk clerk didn’t give much away, but promised it would be passed on to the relevant department. Lila figured that between the car accident, getting pushed in front of a bus, her flat being broken into, and being in possession of a dead girl’s locket, the police probably had a special file on her that recommended ‘Avoid’.

  ‘Let them figure it out,’ Jack told her as they drove back to Burnham. ‘It’s their job.’

  ‘I know. I just don’t understand how a missing girl’s locket could get mixed up with my stuff.’

  ‘There are any number of ways. For starters we’re assuming it belongs to Shona McNamara.’ When Lila started to protest, he held up a hand. ‘Let me finish. Yes, I think it’s likely it does belong to her, but we could still be mistaken. If it is hers, it’s possible she lost it a long time ago or maybe someone stole it. Hell, maybe she sold it. We don’t know, Lila. There are any number of ways it could have gotten mixed up with your stuff.’

  ‘Do you think it’s possible Stephanie knew her?’

  ‘Possible, but I think it’s unlikely. They lived in different counties. I looked through Steph’s Facebook friends while we were in the police station. I couldn’t see any connection to Shona McNamara. Definitely can’t see why my sister would have had her locket. Maybe Mark knew her.’
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  ‘Maybe.’

  Lila was thoughtful for a moment, before she looked at Jack.

  ‘All of those possibilities are plausible, I get that, but what if she didn’t lose her locket, it wasn’t stolen and she didn’t sell it? What if it got mixed up with my things because she was in Filby?’

  ‘You know they’ve arrested her friend’s uncle, right? They wouldn’t do that unless they had some kind of evidence implicating him.’

  ‘I know. But you’re a writer, Jack.’ She looked at him, made a point of ensuring she had his attention. ‘Surely you still have to ask, what if?’

  23

  Jack seemed distracted by the time they arrived back at his house. Unsure where he was expecting her to sleep, Lila left her bag in the hallway, figured she would try to work it out later. Instead she settled herself on one of the large sofas with a cup of tea while Jack disappeared upstairs. She called her boss, Natalie, told her she was ready to come back to work. As she suspected, Nat knew about Saturday night, Beth having filled her in on all the details. Lila reassured her she was fine to come back, told her the distraction of work would be more of a benefit than a setback. Eventually Natalie agreed she could return the following day.

  Feeling a little more satisfied, Lila turned to her iPad, the locket still bothering her. She read what articles she could find online, learning that Shona and Phoebe had disappeared on a Saturday morning, telling their parents they were going into Lincoln, as they often did at the weekend. It wasn’t unusual for them to meet up with friends, end up staying out into the evening. Shona’s parents had become worried when she hadn’t returned home by ten, wasn’t answering her phone. They contacted friends, put up a Facebook post, asking people to share. When she hadn’t returned home by Sunday morning, they had contacted the police.

  It took a moment for Lila to register the date the girls had disappeared. Saturday the seventh of April. The car crash that had killed Mark and Stephanie had occurred five days later. Lila chewed over that information, her imagination running riot by the time Jack finally reappeared.