Dying To Tell

by Beevis, Keri

  She had no choice. She would have to deal with her past.

  26

  Jack spent a productive morning with his new book, pleased with the word flow and putting his reinvigorated writing juices down to good sex. Stephanie and The Bishop were still weighing heavily on his mind, and that afternoon he intended to delve further into his sister’s past, but Lila had offered a pleasant escape from that, and the previous night, for a few hours at least, he had managed to lose himself in her, push the other stuff to the back of his mind.

  She really was like no-one else he had met. When he looked back at past women he had been involved with, Tiffany included, they all fitted a mould: beautiful to look at, confident, a little hard around the edges and, dare he say it, spoilt.

  Not Lila. Everything about her was a contradiction. She wasn’t stunning in an obvious way like Tiff. Lila was shorter, curvier, darker (until then he’d always had a thing for blondes), quirkier in the way she dressed, but she had a quiet beauty that radiated from within, those wide eyes so expressive, her full upper lip hitting a solid ten on his sexy radar.

  She was kind and compassionate, though not a pushover, wore her heart on her sleeve – whether she was happy, sad or angry, he knew it, and despite seeming comfortable in herself, at times she showed a vulnerability that tugged on his heartstrings. He had seen that side of her the previous night, realised how much she had read into the words he’d thrown at her on Sunday. Someone harder like Tiffany would have shaken the words off, but not Lila. She had taken them at face value and he’d learnt he couldn’t treat her like that, had taken his time making things right, because it mattered. She mattered.

  And that was the other thing about Lila. There was chemistry. Hot smouldering chemistry. She was open and so responsive, and when he was with her he felt everything.

  He spent a few pleasant moments reminiscing about the previous night, aware he was due to pick her up in a few hours. His imagination working overtime, he grabbed his phone and sent her an explicit text, telling her what he intended to do to her when he had her back behind closed doors.

  Shutting down his laptop, he reached for his jacket. Time to pull his mind out of the gutter and head over to see his mother. He grabbed his phone, heard a text ping back from Lila before he’d even slipped it in his pocket. He read it, grin spreading, his mind crawling right back into the gutter.

  He took Cooper along for the ride, knew his mother adored the dog and would likely be distracted enough to leave him alone while he went through Stephanie’s room. Purposely keeping his mind off Lila, he tried to focus on his sister and The Bishop, not wanting to show up at the family home with a hard-on.

  Why would his bright beautiful baby sister resort to cheating? Had she been placed in that desperate a situation? It was killing him that he hadn’t been home when she had wanted to come stay. If he had been, maybe she would have opened up to him, wouldn’t have driven out to Filby that night.

  He thought back over the conversation with Ruby, remembered her saying there had been an incident at Christmas, that something had upset Steph. What had happened? What was he missing?

  He was still brooding over things when he pulled into his mother’s driveway twenty minutes later. The house was sprawling, set in the countryside just outside of Cley village in grounds that ran over several acres. It was a new build back in the nineties that Henry had designed himself. Mock Tudor with a fountain out front and a swimming pool out back. After the divorce, his parents were given joint custody of their children and, along with his brother, he had spent four nights a week in the house. That seemed a lifetime ago.

  He heard his mother call through from the kitchen as he opened the front door. ‘Jack, is that you?’

  ‘Yep, and I’ve brought company.’

  Delicious smells wafted down the hallway as he went to find her, Cooper scrambling ahead, his nose already excited by the scent.

  ‘Hello, this is a nice surprise.’ Kate Whitman looked delighted as the bounding bundle of black and white fur skidded to a halt in front of her legs, letting out a woof in greeting.

  Jack watched with a smile as she made a fuss of Cooper, who greedily lapped up the attention.

  As she stood, he leaned down to kiss her cheek. ‘Sausage rolls?’

  She reached up to give his cheek an affectionate pat. ‘I thought we could have lunch together as you’re over. I find the cooking therapeutic.’

  Although she smiled, the strain was there in her eyes, and she looked older. Losing a child would do that to you. Henry had thrown himself into work and when he wasn’t working he spent his days protesting for justice, still angry at Stephanie’s death, but his mother had dealt with things more quietly, wanting time to grieve and attempt to come to terms with what she had lost. She needed her other children more than ever at that point. Oliver was the only one still living at home, but the rest of them tried to call in on her regularly and Jack made a point of phoning her every day.

  ‘I’d like that,’ he told her, watching as she slipped on oven gloves and reached into the double oven for the tray of sausage rolls. He had a couple of hours before he had to leave to go pick up Lila and could have lunch with his mother before he did what he’d come there to do.

  She knew the purpose of his visit was to spend some time in his sister’s room. He had been honest with his mother at least on that point. Of course she believed it was for therapeutic reasons, that he needed time alone with his sister’s things to grieve and process her death. He couldn’t tell her the truth was he intended to snoop through Stephanie’s things. That would bring with it questions, some of which he had answers to, others he was still trying to figure out, and a whole new level of hurt he couldn’t expose her to, at least not for now. She had suffered enough.

  They ate on the patio, enjoying the warmth of the late May afternoon, as Cooper charged around the garden and leapt into the pool, working off some of his spaniel energy.

  ‘Have you spoken to Tiffany at all since she went back to London?’ his mother wanted to know.

  ‘Just a few texts.’ Jack didn’t point out that he hadn’t replied to them. Truth was he had been too preoccupied to give Tiffany much thought at all since dropping her off at the station. ‘It was the right decision. We’d grown apart.’

  Kate nodded, seemed lost in thought for a moment. ‘How about Lila? How is she?’

  ‘We’re still in contact.’ Jack picked his words carefully. He knew his mother held no grudge against Lila, but was unsure how she would react if she found out Lila was staying with him, sleeping in his bed. It was early days and too soon to be having that conversation. ‘How is Henry holding up?’

  There was no love lost between Jack and his stepfather, but the topic was safer and guided his mother away from Lila. He listened as Kate told him the doctor had upped Henry’s blood pressure tablets, that she worried he was working too hard, before conversation turned to Jack’s younger half-brother, Oliver, who was due to turn twenty-one later in the week.

  ‘It’s going to be hard for him not having Stephanie here.’

  ‘Hopefully the surprise will help take his mind off things.’

  The family had decided to forego the kind of lavish party they generally threw for big birthdays and planned to gather for a low-key meal. They had clubbed together to pay for a trip to New York, a place Oliver was desperate to visit, and they intended to surprise him with the tickets at the meal on Friday night.

  Jack and Kate continued to chat for another hour before Jack discreetly looked at his watch, saw he only had about forty minutes left before he would have to leave to pick up Lila. He excused himself, left his mother sitting in the garden with Cooper.

  She caught hold of his hand as he brushed past her, gave it a comforting squeeze, her smile sad, but encouraging, wanting him to find the answers he was looking for.

  Jack quashed down the feeling of guilt that he was about to snoop through his sister’s things, took the stairs to the first floor, hesitated
before opening the door to Stephanie’s room, finding it harder to go in than he had expected.

  The bed was neatly made, the lemon duvet on a white wrought-iron bedframe that was cluttered with cushions, the walls papered with a butterfly print. The wall to the right was filled with built-in wardrobes, while on the other side of the bed stood a tallboy chest of drawers and a dressing table. That was where Jack started.

  Trying to push all personal feelings aside, he sat down on the dresser stool, glancing over the trinket boxes, tea-light holders, and the white wooden picture frame that held a photo of the five siblings, taken the previous summer at his beach house, felt his heart squeeze. He looked at the mirror with a string of rose fairy lights wound around the frame. There were more pictures tacked to the edge: Stephanie with her friends, smiling and carefree in every photo. He recognised Jessica in one shot, Ruby in another.

  He took a moment before forcing himself to open the drawers of the dresser. It was mostly make-up in the left drawer, while the other held a mishmash of more jewellery and cosmetics, tissues, half-eaten packets of chewing gum, a few receipts and a box of matches. He went through the receipts, noting they were all for clothing stores.

  Finding nothing of significance, he moved on to the tallboy and pulled open drawers, quickly closing the top one that contained underwear. He had no intention of rooting through his sister’s bras and knickers. The other drawers held clothing. Nothing there.

  He performed the same checks on the two bedside tables, had more luck when he came across Steph’s tablet. He pulled it out, switched it on; annoyed to find it had a passcode protecting it. He tried a couple of codes without luck, set the tablet down on the bed, figuring he would come back to it.

  The wardrobes provided the most interesting find. They were packed with clothes and shoes – Stephanie had been obsessed with shopping – and at first Jack thought he wasn’t going to find anything of interest, but then he spied the gift boxes, tucked away in the bottom corner, looking like they had been intentionally hidden behind some of the longer dresses. He pulled them out, noting each box was brightly coloured and that they varied in size. Opening a smaller one first, he read the plain handwritten card lying on top of the black tissue paper.

  An apology for what happened at Xmas. Remember it’s our secret xxx

  Jack’s heartbeat quickened. He pulled back the tissue paper to reveal a pair of silver diamond studs, stared at them for a moment before seeing red and ripping the lids off the other boxes, finding in them a silk scarf, perfume, a Gucci key ring, underwear in raunchy red. Each box had a handwritten card; the message in the other boxes simply saying: our secret xxx.

  Who the hell had sent this stuff to Stephanie? She dated, but only with boys her age, and they wouldn’t have been able to afford these things. The message bothered him. Our secret xxx, written in a loopy, almost flamboyant, scrawl. It was someone who didn’t want to be found out. Had she been having an affair? She was only seventeen, damn it.

  He stared at the boxes, drew a deep breath and tried to think more rationally, taking solace that all of the items looked unused. The scarf and underwear had tags on, the key ring and earrings were still in their cases and the perfume was sealed. Stephanie had hidden these gifts away, hadn’t used any of them, suggesting perhaps they had been unwanted.

  But who had sent them and why?

  The Bishop was trying to blackmail her. Why would he send her gifts?

  Not wanting to risk his mother walking in and finding the boxes, Jack pulled out his phone, took photos of all the gifts and slipped the first handwritten card into his wallet, before placing everything back in the wardrobe as he’d found it.

  He glanced at the tablet on the bed, suspecting it held answers – if he could only figure out how to get into it. Slipping off his jacket and hiding the tablet underneath it, he let himself out of Stephanie’s bedroom and closed the door.

  He found his mother in the kitchen with Cooper, sneaking him a sausage roll. She looked up guiltily as she heard Jack enter. ‘I hope you don’t mind. He could smell them and kept whining. I think he’s hungry.’

  Jack forced a smile for her. ‘That dog’s always hungry.’

  ‘Did it help, spending time in Stephanie’s room?’

  ‘It was weird being up there, knowing she’s not coming back, but yeah, I think it helped a little. Thank you.’

  Kate nodded, her eyes so sad. ‘We all have to find our own way to deal with the grief, Jack. I don’t think there is a set pattern to follow.’

  ‘I need to go now, Mum. I have to be somewhere. But I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?’

  He whistled to Cooper who was avidly watching the counter with the remaining sausage rolls.

  Kate bent down to rub the dog’s ears as he turned to look at Jack, gave him a kiss on the head. ‘You come back and see me soon, Cooper, okay?’ She smiled up at Jack. ‘You too. And thank you for staying for lunch today. It was nice.’

  He returned her smile, gave her a kiss on the cheek. ‘Yes, it was.’

  Jack waited until she had closed the front door before setting the tablet down on the passenger seat. He felt guilty as hell about taking it, but he needed to find answers to what had been going on with his sister and suspected the tablet would provide them.

  He pulled up outside Nat’s Hideaway, glanced at the clock seeing he was five minutes late, though Lila wasn’t waiting outside. Sticking on his hazards, cranking the window open a few inches and leaving Cooper in the car, he stepped inside and headed straight to the counter. Lila’s friend, Beth, was serving, had just finished handing change to a young mother who’d bought ice cream for her toddler.

  Beth glanced up at Jack as the woman fussed with her purse before slipping it back in her bag. ‘Oh, it’s you.’

  ‘Is Lila ready? Can you tell her I’m parked out front?’

  ‘She’s not around.’

  Beth’s tone was cool to the point of unfriendly and Jack narrowed his eyes.

  ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘Giles is what’s going on. Your sister’s boyfriend, I believe. I don’t know who you people think you are, but what the hell did he think gave him the right to come in here and threaten her like that?’

  ‘What? Slow down.’ Jack’s temper was simmering. ‘Giles was here, today?’

  ‘Yes,’ Beth answered stiffly.

  ‘Do you have…?’ Natalie tapered off as she stepped through from the kitchen, clocking Jack. ‘Oh, you.’

  He rolled his eyes impatiently. ‘Yes, me! Will someone please tell me what the hell happened. Giles came in here and threatened Lila. Threatened her how?’

  ‘He said he has information on her, that he knows she’s trying to cause trouble for your family. He warned her to stay away from you all, said he had your family’s blessing. Told her if she didn’t he would come after her.’ Natalie paused, studying Jack, could obviously see the shock on his face. ‘You didn’t know.’

  ‘Of course I didn’t bloody know and no, he doesn’t have anyone’s blessing.’ Jack shook his head, barely able to comprehend what he was being told, rage rising inside of him. ‘I’m gonna fucking kill him.’

  ‘Join the queue,’ Beth muttered sarcastically.

  ‘Where’s Lila? I need to talk to her.’

  When Natalie and Beth exchanged a glance, he called out her name, pushed past them into the kitchen. He found her getting her things together, saw both anger and hurt in her expression when she looked up.

  ‘I can’t do this, Jack.’

  He went to her, frustrated when he put a hand on her arm and she shook him off. Rage was still burning inside him, but that was for Giles, and he drew a breath, tried to clear his head, needing to think straight. Pulling up one of the two stools, he sat down. ‘Come here and talk to me for a minute.’ When he saw her waver, he added, ‘Please.’

  She actually huffed at him, but did as asked, setting down her crutches and taking a seat on the other stool, though refusing to look at him.

/>   ‘Listen to me.’ He caught hold of her hands, held on when she tried to pull away. ‘Just listen to me, okay?’ He sounded calmer than he felt, tried to keep his voice even. ‘Firstly, there’s something I need to know. Lila?’ He paused, waited for her to react. ‘Lila, look at me.’ He waited until she did, hating the guarded look in her eyes.

  ‘What happened today, you know that I had nothing to do with that, right?’

  She didn’t respond immediately, her expression resigned.

  ‘Of course I know,’ she said eventually. ‘It doesn’t change anything though. This isn’t going to work. Your family hate me. They’re never going to accept me after what happened with Stephanie.’

  ‘That’s not true, my family don’t even know you, and I can promise you they will be as mortified as I am when they find out what Giles did today.’ Jack released one of Lila’s hands, reached up to smooth his fingers through her hair. ‘My mother knows I’ve been seeing you.’

  That had Lila’s attention. She looked up again, her guards dropping a little. ‘She does?’

  ‘Yes, she does.’ Jack mustered up a grin for her. ‘Admittedly she doesn’t know I’m sleeping with you, but yeah, she knows you’re in my life.’

  ‘And how does she feel about that?’

  ‘She’s fine with it. In fact she even asked after you today.’

  Lila narrowed her eyes slightly, searching his face for the sign of a lie. ‘She did?’

  ‘Yes, Lila, she really did. It’s early days, but I promise you this can work, will work.’

  ‘But Giles–’

  ‘Isn’t even a part of our family,’ Jack said firmly, his temper rising at the mention of the man’s name.

  ‘He had someone look into my past. He knows things, Jack. Things I haven’t told you.’

  ‘And you don’t have to tell me. As long as you’re not some psycho bunny-boiling serial killer, I really don’t care about your past.’ He had attempted to make a joke about it, but didn’t get the smile he was hoping for. ‘Listen. I’m going to kick Giles’s arse for what he did to you today and then I’m hoping Alyssa is going to kick him out of the house. The man is a twat and I’ve never been able to figure out why she’s with him anyway. Please don’t punish me, us, for what he did. That means he wins.’